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Posted: 11/14/2001 3:10:00 PM EDT
[#1]
Maybe hearing something like... "it's not your fault... (crying) only one man has ever been able to make me climax, and he left me long ago (crying hysterically) - his name was... Imbroglio... [shock]
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Posted: 11/14/2001 3:23:18 PM EDT
[#2]
Quoted: Said my wife's name to my GF once Immediate cessation of activity What?? That is planned move - When your pumpin'doggie, grab up her hair with left, a firm grasp on the shoulder with the right, scream anothers gals name and hold on tight. Rodeo Fuckin' |
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Posted: 11/14/2001 3:28:49 PM EDT
[#3]
When I was in college, I had a roommate who thought he was pretty slick with the ladies.
One night, I came home from a party and my girlfriend and I heard him having sex with some girl in his bedroom. We quietly went to my room to have some fun of our own. After we were done, I wanted to get something to drink. I came out of my room and passed by his room. As I went by, I heard the girl say,"Would you mind if I just masturbated by myself?" I almost laughed out loud. |
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Posted: 11/14/2001 3:43:35 PM EDT
[#4]
"The Condom Broke"
or, "I'm not on birth control right now, but I've never gotten pregnant before." |
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Posted: 11/14/2001 3:59:32 PM EDT
[#5]
three come to mind.
got a chick prego when I was a kid.she had an abortion(thank god!!)anyway next time the first thing after I get it in she looks at me an says...I wonder what the baby would've looked like?... next is being called another guys name during a faked orgasm..... an the one thats left me scarred for life...feel better now!?!?<< |
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Posted: 11/14/2001 4:07:12 PM EDT
[#6]
Quoted: I wonder what the baby would've looked like?... Damn, bro. That's a bit deep. The same thing happened to my brother. He's a deeply religious Catholic freak. He now really regrets having that girl have an abortion. |
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Posted: 11/14/2001 4:16:15 PM EDT
[#7]
Quoted: Worst thing....Girl ripping a fart during her climax. i always considered it a compliment.... |
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Posted: 11/14/2001 4:20:22 PM EDT
[#8]
Quoted: I've found the worst thing you can do at any time is to laugh. laughing is totally acceptable after a queef |
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Posted: 11/14/2001 4:53:36 PM EDT
[#9]
You left the bar three sheets to the wind with a tall leggy blond.What you don't want to hear; A deep baritone voice saying "Make it quick I gotta get home to my wife"
What you dont want to say; Here, let me adjust that bag for you. |
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Posted: 11/14/2001 4:59:26 PM EDT
[#10]
had a buddy in high was down doing the nasty on a girl one time in the front seat of the car.
she raises up on her elbows and says to him: "i hope you're enjoying yourself because you ain't doing a damn thing for me"!! i can't belive the dumb f#ck told all of us!! that has been almost 15 years ago, never forgot it. [beer] |
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Posted: 11/14/2001 5:03:26 PM EDT
[#11]
Honey I am home!!
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Posted: 11/14/2001 5:48:37 PM EDT
[#12]
"What's your name again?"
or "Don't worry. My sores are all cleared up so you can't get an infection" |
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Posted: 11/14/2001 6:07:40 PM EDT
[#13]
"I think I am late."
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Posted: 11/14/2001 6:16:14 PM EDT
[#14]
Quoted: [i]"Are you through yet?"[/i] When I was in college I was awoken by my roommate and his girlfriend making whoopee on his bed. I feigned sleep in order to avoid embarrassing them (or having to actually look at them - you'd have to have seen them to understand). Anyway, wet smacking sounds continue for a few minutes, and then his girlfriend whispers (just loud enough for me to hear) "Are you finished?" I thought I was going to die restraining myself from laughing out loud. Hell, it was hard just to hold still. |
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Posted: 11/14/2001 7:38:43 PM EDT
[#15]
say:
"does it always smell like that" hear: "i told you not to put mouth there" after the fact: "my husband told me he was leaving me for another man" "no i'm not in high school yet" ooooooooooppppppppppppppssss |
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Posted: 11/14/2001 7:43:09 PM EDT
[#16]
Would [b]not[/b] want to here this!!!
[url]http://192.41.19.35/fmj/numnuts.wav[/url] ColtShorty GOA KABA COA JPFO SAF NRA "I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I require the same from them." |
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Posted: 11/14/2001 7:44:17 PM EDT
[#17]
"Worse things to hear or say during sex"
Is that you or did something die?[%|] |
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Posted: 11/14/2001 11:37:15 PM EDT
[#18]
Quoted: Would [b]not[/b] want to here this!!! [url]http://192.41.19.35/fmj/numnuts.wav[/url] ColtShorty That would be wrong...just plain wrong..hehe medcop |
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Posted: 11/15/2001 5:04:37 AM EDT
[#19]
Quoted: three come to mind. got a chick prego when I was a kid.she had an abortion(thank god!!) Uhh, I don't think you want to thank God for murder [:(] |
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Posted: 11/15/2001 5:36:58 AM EDT
[#20]
Quoted: "is it in yet" I can't tell... |
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Posted: 11/15/2001 6:02:48 AM EDT
[#21]
"I love it when you suck on my third nipple."
Av. |
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Posted: 11/15/2001 8:34:50 AM EDT
[#22]
Hmm? That looks like a penis.....only smaller! |
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Posted: 11/15/2001 1:11:15 PM EDT
[#23]
"Um, who are you?"
"You call that a di "Are you sure about this?" "I think I lost my ring in there? Can you fish it out for me?" "Helooo in there." "Wanna earn your redwings?" "I'm going to be careful so I don't break that little thing." "Oh, how cute." "Honey, lift up that roll of fat, I can't find the remote." |
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Posted: 11/15/2001 3:44:07 PM EDT
[#24]
Some friends of mine e-mailed me these:
You must be very experienced. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality. It's a good thing you have so many other talents. Would you mind wearing a paper sack on your head? Do you mind if I wear one too...in case yours falls off? Jeez...What ya got up there, dead fish? I've been wondering all night what that smell was. Maybe if I get really wasted I wont mind your body. You know they have surgery to fix that. Everybody down at the bar said you were good. Wow, you like it the same way your little sister does. [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] |
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Posted: 11/15/2001 10:04:18 PM EDT
[#25]
You know honey that tonight is the 1 year anniversary of my sex change operation....
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Posted: 11/15/2001 10:26:54 PM EDT
[#26]
My favourites (and G-d's Own Truth!)
Walking with a buddy who had just broken up, seens xgf and new guy walking the other way...) "How d'you like that used p***y?" "Hey - once you get past the used part, it's alright!" Things got REAL quiet after that... My first steady gf was my dentist's daughter! Of course, the worst is... "Baby, we're home!" I tell you, staying with her allowed me to master the art of going out the second story window in the all-together and being fully dressed by the time I hit the ground! It stopped being a problem once I got a car of my own... FFZ |
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