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Posted: 11/11/2001 9:23:19 PM EDT
It's time. What should a guy do that came home from work Saturday, the wife and 3 year old daughter are gone and the house is completely empty. I mean no refridgerator, no washer/dryer, no pots and pans, curtains, furniture, nothing. Her family helped her completely move everything.(I know, celebrate.) How do I find a good attorney? What do I initially tell him? Isn't this abandonment? I mean, she moved in with her parents, so she doesn't need a fridge, washer/dryer or tv. She left me with no means to survive. Anything I can do? I need some advice from someone that has been there and I kind of need it quick. Thanks in advance, Shane
Link Posted: 11/11/2001 9:25:36 PM EDT
Have no contact with her/them. Get a lawyer tomorrow. Ask co-workers, family or friends if they know a good attorney.
Link Posted: 11/11/2001 9:26:08 PM EDT
Get a lawyer!
Link Posted: 11/11/2001 11:33:12 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/11/2001 11:36:54 PM EDT by Bostonterrier97]
Originally Posted By ShootinShane: It's time. What should a guy do that came home from work Saturday, the wife and 3 year old daughter are gone and the house is completely empty. I mean no refridgerator, no washer/dryer, no pots and pans, curtains, furniture, nothing. Her family helped her completely move everything.(I know, celebrate.) How do I find a good attorney? What do I initially tell him? Isn't this abandonment? I mean, she moved in with her parents, so she doesn't need a fridge, washer/dryer or tv. She left me with no means to survive. Anything I can do? I need some advice from someone that has been there and I kind of need it quick. Thanks in advance, Shane
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Hmmmmm....well..it is quite possible that she REALLY is interested in [b]DIVORCE[/b]. [B]1.) Immediately withdraw all of your savings, checking account money. Secure all of your tangible assets. Cancel your credit cards. And get new ones. 2.) Get a LAWYER, FAST!!! 3.) Change the locks on the garage, house, car, toolshed, etc. 4.) Make sure that your firearms are secured in such a way that she cannot get to them. 5.) Have the lawyer to file a motion for a restraining order against her. [/B] (this is a frequently common thing to do in a divorce. The fact that she left you in the way that she did indicates that she is unreasonable and uncooperative. Most spouses who want a divorce will first talk about it, file some papers then go through a process of out of court arbitration to divide up the property in such a way that is sastifactory to both parties). [B]6.) If at all possible try to get Physical Custody of the children. Then seek child support payments from her as well as alimony. [/B] Some states have community property laws, which both the husband and wife must divide up all assets in half. Whether or not you live in such a state, you will need to get all of your property (including the property that she removed from the house) appraised. As well as any investment portfolios that you may have.
Link Posted: 11/12/2001 9:28:35 AM EDT
First, Good Luck. Second, Get a Damned Good Lawyer. Been there. Oh, do not believe a word uttered by anyone other than your family and your lawyer.
Link Posted: 11/12/2001 9:49:13 AM EDT
Ask friends who have been through a divorce whether they wished they could have had their spouse's attorney. Find the most ruthless, dorsal fin-wearing attorney you can find.
Link Posted: 11/12/2001 10:26:46 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Jarhead_22: Ask friends who have been through a divorce whether they wished they could have had their spouse's attorney. Find the most ruthless, dorsal fin-wearing attorney you can find.
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Truer words have never been spoken. There will be times when your spouse (and you for that matter) will seem to come to an understanding about what "should" be done. You'll think that it can all be accomplished amicably, and you'll start to compromise. STOP! Everything you do/say will be turned against you. Let your lawyer handle everything. Don't talk to anyone but the lawyer. Get a keep away/restraining order as suggested. Go for broke and demand everything, even things you don't want. That way, any compromises will end up evenly split. Been there, done that. Ended up taking every cent I had (was urged to file bankrputcy, but I wasn't brought up that way), but I ended up with full custody of my daughter, and all my guns (lost the Harley though). Good luck brother, you'll need it. But, keep the faith.
Link Posted: 11/12/2001 10:28:03 AM EDT
Move all of your guns off-site to your parents' house or trusted sibling / friend. Standard tactic is to have a restraining order filed against you. This may be used to go after your guns. "He has guns and has threatened me with them." BS or not, they'll seize them post-haste. I also totally agree with 1-6 posted above.
Link Posted: 11/12/2001 2:46:55 PM EDT
dont get emotional,dont threaten.dont get drunk. this can and will be used against you later. move all firearms out NOW go to court house and get the family court laws from court clerk.if not possible get online. study these laws so you know what you are up against. child support, alimony amounts,crooked attorney,court filing fees(here in NY it costs less than $500 but most attorneys charge far more than that). Except for child support and alimony its all negoiation. I went through the same thing as you. came home to an empty house. note on table saying goodbye. I didnt hire an attorney. Good Luck Shane
Link Posted: 11/12/2001 3:36:26 PM EDT
I want to thank you guys for your advice. I have done pretty much everything mentioned. Fortunately, the day it happened, my guns were in my car or at my brothers because I was in the process of possibly trading a gun. And my Callaways were in my trunk. So, she got no guns or golf clubs. I also changed the locks the first night I was there. Tomorrow I am supposed to talk with an attorney. Everyone tells me that I am actually in a pretty good position with the way that things went down. I have never been violent and I never argue with her. Yelling does absolutely nothing. She just argues to win an argument, not to resolve a problem. It infuriates her that I just sit there and listen to her yell and don't get upset back. I haven't even been mad after getting cleaned out like this. I think the way she handled things will look bad for her. I have been told to go for everything. Full custody, alimony (she earns more than I do) and all property. That way, when they do divide up things, maybe I'll have a chance. Anyway, thanks again to all. Any more advice would be greatly appreciated as well. Shane
Link Posted: 11/12/2001 3:43:27 PM EDT
Put all your assets into a swiss account or an offshore account, Sell your house, put the money in an offshore account, Your wife won't be able to touch it, and the courts can't do shit. Then, get a mailorder russian bride. Marry her. Frame your ExWife for having a drug problem, Get custody of your daughter, and go on with your life.
Link Posted: 11/12/2001 3:45:12 PM EDT
Originally Posted By BCBUD: Put all your assets into a swiss account or an offshore account, Sell your house, put the money in an offshore account, Your wife won't be able to touch it, and the courts can't do shit. Then, get a mailorder russian bride. Marry her. Frame your ExWife for having a drug problem, Get custody of your daughter, and go on with your life.
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if you need help with the mailorder bride thing lemme know, there are plenty of hot girls in their early 20's looking for an american man to marry and love them.
Link Posted: 11/12/2001 3:51:54 PM EDT
Originally Posted By BCBUD: if you need help with the mailorder bride thing lemme know, there are plenty of hot girls in their early 20's looking for an american man to marry and love them.
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Lol...I dont think I will be in any hurry to get married again. Thanks, Shane
Link Posted: 11/12/2001 3:52:29 PM EDT
Originally Posted By ShootinShane: I want to thank you guys for your advice. I have done pretty much everything mentioned. Fortunately, the day it happened, my guns were in my car or at my brothers because I was in the process of possibly trading a gun. And my Callaways were in my trunk. So, she got no guns or golf clubs. I also changed the locks the first night I was there. Tomorrow I am supposed to talk with an attorney. Everyone tells me that I am actually in a pretty good position with the way that things went down. I have never been violent and I never argue with her. Yelling does absolutely nothing. She just argues to win an argument, not to resolve a problem. It infuriates her that I just sit there and listen to her yell and don't get upset back. I haven't even been mad after getting cleaned out like this. I think the way she handled things will look bad for her. I have been told to go for everything. Full custody, alimony (she earns more than I do) and all property. That way, when they do divide up things, maybe I'll have a chance. Anyway, thanks again to all. Any more advice would be greatly appreciated as well. Shane
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Sounds like my soon to-be ex-wife.......she yells and screams.....I just turn the TV up higher or just ignore her and say "what ever you say"
Link Posted: 11/12/2001 3:53:26 PM EDT
S-Shane, Man, I hope you get through this. I know it must be hard mentally not to mention financially. I will agree with all said above, and in addition say that perhaps this change will lead to great things in your life. Sometimes you have to lose what you have in order to build something new in its place - perhaps a woman who truly loves you. Good luck. Sincerely, three_grams
Link Posted: 11/12/2001 4:14:57 PM EDT
My mom bothers me all the time about my bachelor status! And she wonders why I odnt get married. I am considering paying some woman to have my kids for me. I'll just have some girlfriends on the side. The fact that she left and took joint property with her puts you in good legal standing. Dont get upset and behave like a gentleman. Get a mercenary lawyer and got for it. Contact your local chapter of ADAM and they may have some leads on good lawyers. Good luck.
Link Posted: 11/12/2001 4:19:56 PM EDT
Originally Posted By ShootinShane: I want to thank you guys for your advice. I have done pretty much everything mentioned.
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You didnt mention the money. GET THAT TIED UP NOW! Do the accounts say Shane AND wife or Shane OR wife? How about car Titles? House? Be VERY careful with this one! That "OR" will bite you in the ass every time!
Link Posted: 11/12/2001 4:21:30 PM EDT
And PS, DONT FIGHT IN FRONT OF THE BABY!
Link Posted: 11/12/2001 5:24:22 PM EDT
Originally Posted By ARDOC: My mom bothers me all the time about my bachelor status! And she wonders why I dont get married. I am considering paying some woman to have my kids for me. I'll just have some girlfriends on the side.
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Just the other day a guy told me, "If you ever want to get married, just find a girl you hate and buy her a house." I though that was really funny at the time....
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