Osama Bin Laden phoned President George W. Bush. "I had a dream
about the United States," he said. I could see the whole country, and over
every building and home was a banner," said Bin Laden.

"What was on the banner?" asked Mr. Bush.

"LONG LIVE OSAMA!" answered the terrorist scum.

"I am so glad that you called," said President Bush, "because I
too had a dream. In my dream, I saw Afghanistan and it was more beautiful
than ever; totally rebuilt, and over every building and home was a big,
beautiful banner."

"What did the banner say?" asked Osama.

"I don't know," answered President Bush, "I can't read Hebrew."

Two deer hunters are out in the woods, when one of the guys grabs his chest, falls to the ground and stops breathing.

His buddy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

"Help me please! My buddy just collapsed and died! I need to know what to do!"

"Sir, first we need to make sure he's dead." the 911 operator says. Then she hears a gunshot through the phone.

"Okay, what do I do next?"