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Posted: 9/7/2001 9:39:18 AM EDT
Been talking with the wife on this and I think it's strange how any man these days that get caught cheating on his wife is considered a POS. If we look back in history, how many "great" men would stand up to todays morals on faithfulness? And does cheating on your wife negate all the great things a man does? How would Thomas Jefferson, or even JFK look in todays light? I've been married over 10 years and have 3 kids, I have never cheated on my wife and don't plan on starting either, because I don't do things I wouldn't want my wife to do.
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 9:44:35 AM EDT
IMHO I would choose to look at it as a terrible mistake, and an unfortunate event in his life that could lead to the end of his marriage. I wouldn't call him a POS for that. Now, if his missus finds out & divorces his ass 'cause of it, he'd better not complain about losing half of this or that, about missing his children or paying child support, alimoney etc. If he cheats, gets caught, and then bitches about the consequences, [b]THEN[/b] he's a POS. my .02..
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 9:46:19 AM EDT
In my opinion, men that go and cheat on their wives were a POS already. Its just that they finally let the secret get out. [}:D]
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 9:48:24 AM EDT
Of course it does. If you even have to ask, you may already be a POS. Just my $.02 mattjedi[x]
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 9:51:47 AM EDT
Originally Posted By garandman: In my opinion, men that go and cheat on their wives were a POS already. Its just that they finally let the secret get out. [}:D]
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garandman, it's seems odd to me that you would be quicker to label (judge?) someone for a single mistake (sin?) than I am. No flame intended, just the realization that I may be getting mellower in my old age.
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 9:54:52 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 9:58:02 AM EDT
Originally Posted By a3kid: garandman, it's seems odd to me that you would be quicker to label (judge?) someone for a single mistake (sin?) than I am. No flame intended, just the realization that I may be getting mellower in my old age.
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I think you took what he said out of context. Religion has nothing to do with what he's saying.. Ian
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 10:03:21 AM EDT
If you swore to forsake all others in your marriage vows then yes would make a man a POS not because he screwed another woman but because he broke his oath.Monogamy is a Pagan Roman custom and I could give a flip if a man wanted to have dozens of women(like the biblical patriarchs)but being a liar is a sign of weakness in a man. sopmodm4
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 10:04:28 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/7/2001 10:07:32 AM EDT by garandman]
Originally Posted By a3kid:
Originally Posted By garandman: In my opinion, men that go and cheat on their wives were a POS already. Its just that they finally let the secret get out. [}:D]
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garandman, it's seems odd to me that you would be quicker to label (judge?) someone for a single mistake (sin?) than I am. No flame intended, just the realization that I may be getting mellower in my old age.
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Note "evil smile" icon - indicates sarcasm. Seriously, re-read my post. My whole point is that the isolated act of cheating on your wife is not the problem, but rather a symptom of a larger problem. Few people go out and try to rob Fort Knox on the first go-round. They usually start small, and work up. Similarly, marital unfaithfulness doesn't usually come out of the blue. People work their way toward it. Without re-igniting the porn debate, THIS is why I am SOOOOOOO against porn, even soft porn like "babe" pics. (Note: For me, when I see a "Babe" pic, I'm checkin' out p---y and t--s. Sexual in nature, and why I stay away from ALL of it. Even bikini babes.)
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 10:06:32 AM EDT
Of course it does, and you will probably burn in Hell for it. Besides all the grief it will cause you and your loved ones in this life. What guns are you gonna sell during the divorce?
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 10:07:58 AM EDT
Only if she approves first.
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 10:19:15 AM EDT
Hey guys, don't mistake me for a POS, I don't cheat on my wife. I personally think the commitment you make to your wife is the most important commitment in your life and if you blow that then how can you be trusted with any other commitments, but apparently not many people think that way because I'm always hearing about one guy or another (cops, politicians, other men in power) that gets busted for cheating but no one seems to care. I mean take this POS named Condit, his ass should have been sent home long ago for what we know he did (lying & cheating), but his ass still sits in Congress, shouldn't people in positions of power be held to a high moral standard? My wife thinks this country is just going to hell and we are just along for the ride.
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 10:23:35 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/7/2001 10:24:54 AM EDT by SteyrAUG]
Depends upon the man, the wife and the motivation. To give example, you have children and find out your wife is a closet lesbian who lately bears a resemblense to Rosie ODonnel. You decide to keep appearances till the children are older but take care of your owen needs on the side. Editted to add example.
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 10:25:54 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Hellraiser: How would Thomas Jefferson, or even JFK look in todays light?
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Considering that they were pretty crappy presidents, probably not too good anyway.
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 10:29:25 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Ian:
Originally Posted By a3kid: garandman, it's seems odd to me that you would be quicker to label (judge?) someone for a single mistake (sin?) than I am. No flame intended, just the realization that I may be getting mellower in my old age.
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I think you took what he said out of context. Religion has nothing to do with what he's saying.. Ian
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I wholeheartedly disagree with your line of thinking. A self-professing, outspoken Christian such as garandman, passing judgement on another human being based on one incident [b]IN THE ABSENCE OF SARCASM, WHICH I REGRETFULLY DIDN'T PICK UP ON THE FIRST TIME I READ HIS POST [/b] could have [i][b] EVERYTHING[/i][/b] to do with religion. I'm just sorry I didn't catch the "evil grin"...
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 10:32:27 AM EDT
Cheating on your wife would put you in the same company as Clinton and Condit.... Larry
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 10:36:03 AM EDT
Originally Posted By LarryinCA: Cheating on your wife would put you in the same company as Clinton and Condit.... Larry
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Once you added murder/conspiracy to murder it would!!
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 10:36:56 AM EDT
In my book you're a POS. I've been involved in politics for a long time and I'm currently running for City Council. I would say 99% of the political people I know are good, honest people (on a local level). From my point of view, I can't see how in the world anyone would vote for that scum Condit but oddly, I bet this guy would win. Politics is a very funny world. You're right, we seemed to be along for the ride but I also think that the pendulum is starting to swing the other way after 8 years of Bill.
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 10:37:52 AM EDT
IMHO cheating on my wife would make ME a POS. I am not prepared to comment on what it would make anyone else.
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 10:38:19 AM EDT
Anyone that cheats is a [b]MAJOR POS[/B] If you want to dip the stick elswhere, have the balls to tell your mate and do it on the level. If you can't do that, you have no business sneaking around. In the old days men were "allowed" to go out on their wives and many wives knew of it, or did not want to know about it by design. In today's marriage, the typical American married person has an expectation of faithfulness and asks for that committment at the marriage altar. Cheating is no better than stealing from your employer, selling your countries secrets to a foreign power, or molesting children. Make no mistake about it, it destroys. If someone is to the point that they are going to cheat, they should just get a divorce and go and be single. If they can't, then they are co-dependant, and don't need sex outside of marriage, but a therapist instead. Trust me on this, speaking from recent experience [:(]
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 10:39:06 AM EDT
First, an off-topic rant that you are free to ignore, just like the rest of this post. [:)] In a Christian marriage, like mine, it's not just breaking your oath to your wife. It's also breaking your oath to God, not to mention comitting adultery. Now, I am not the most religous person in the world, nor do I really call myself a Christian. But, I was married in a Christian church in a Christian ceremony and therefore I believe my vows were to both God and my bride, regardless of my personal beliefs. My own lack of faith does not necessarily mean I have to be a nihilist. I also do not believe in divorce because I swore that I'd be with my wife until death parted us, and she feels the same way. I also know that marriages aren't perfect and there are rough times. Working through those hard times shows how strong a marriage is. And now, back to the topic at hand... A man is only as good as his word. And if he promises to be faithful to his wife (isn't that what a marriage is?) then he's proven he cannot keep his word. If he cannot keep his word on this matter, then I would not be confident he could keep his word in any matter. Therefore, he's useless. Of course, there's also that nasty little bit about my wife knowing how to shoot and being very good at it.[}:D] God Bless Texas
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 10:39:10 AM EDT
Originally Posted By RikWriter: IMHO cheating on my wife would make ME a POS. I am not prepared to comment on what it would make anyone else.
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My thoughts EXACTLY! Excellent response - I believe the best so far....
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 10:44:49 AM EDT
I have been reading the Bible for historically purposes, and I see that this conduct was prevalent thru out its history. You won't be a POS, but if she finds out, she will be personally very hurt and disappointed.
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 10:48:15 AM EDT
I have a personal rule never to do anything that I can't tell my wife about. Since my having an affair would really really upset my wife, probably destroy our marrage... yeh if I cheated I would be a POS. Any act that is done deliberatly that would do harm to the ones you love would make a person a POS. It amazes me how little some people think about the feeling of their loved ones.
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 10:52:06 AM EDT
Originally Posted By BigMac: I have a personal rule never to do anything that I can't tell my wife about.
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Mine is simpler than that. "Avoid the appearance of impropriety."
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 10:59:50 AM EDT
First off, I want to say that every man who has sex with persons other than their wife isn't necessarily cheating. It really depends on the relationship. Some couples just don't put much importance in being faithful. With others its the core of their relationship. You should know to which group you belong. Think what affect it will have on your relationship. If you know for sure that your wife would be hurt finding out that you have been unfaithful than yes you would be a POS. Going just a little further, I do beleive its possible for people to make mistakes. But only you know if what you did was a mistake. How do you feel about it afterwards. Do you have remorse? If not then you should rethink the reasons you are still in the relationship. If its only for the sake of the children then you should be adult enough to be honest with your partner.
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 11:15:42 AM EDT
If your spouse cheats on you, you already know the answer to the question. I have been married 3 times: 1st-She cheated on me then filied for divorce 2nd-She had a daughter that she felt I had absolutely no say over 3rd-The best friend I have ever had and loves the hell out of hunting and shooting-she has a bear license for MT this fall. Nothing makes you feel lower than being on the recieving end, especially when you know you are a better person than the one your spouse picked for their sexual pleasure As our esteemed Senator Daschle said about Condit "Breaking your vows obviously are not as important as breaking the law" This in relation to affair verses murder. To this I say BS. Not everyone in SD thinks that way. If your obligation to your vows and spouse are not important neither is your country and constituents.My 2 measly cents worth.
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 11:16:32 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 11:19:01 AM EDT
COMPLETELY DISREGARDING THE RELIGIOUS ASPECT . . When children are not involved . . Monogamy is overrated. The best evidence from studies of human social groups over the ages seems to strongly suggest that couple bonding {monogamy} is a transient condition for the purpose of bearing and raising children. The reason that so many partners "stray" is that we are not programmed to stay bonded for decades. The BIGGEST problem with an affair is jealousy. PERIOD. Society has created the idea that desire cannot exist outside love & loyalty. For those that can handle it, a short fling, where everyone knows the rules, need not be destructive.
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 11:20:19 AM EDT
I caught my wife in the bed with the dog, they were cuddling. What should I do about it?
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 11:26:29 AM EDT
YES!
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 11:29:04 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/7/2001 11:45:55 AM EDT by garandman]
Originally Posted By ron97ws6: COMPLETELY DISREGARDING THE RELIGIOUS ASPECT . . When children are not involved . . Monogamy is overrated. The best evidence from studies of human social groups over the ages seems to strongly suggest that couple bonding {monogamy} is a transient condition for the purpose of bearing and raising children. The reason that so many partners "stray" is that we are not programmed to stay bonded for decades. The BIGGEST problem with an affair is jealousy. PERIOD. Society has created the idea that desire cannot exist outside love & loyalty. For those that can handle it, a short fling, where everyone knows the rules, need not be destructive.
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Please be sure to post this PROMINENTLY in your pre-nuptual agreement. I'm sure any prospective wife would find this scintillating reading material. [:D]
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 11:32:26 AM EDT
Yes, that would be a POS. Breaking a promise is the worst kind of lie. If you don't want to make a commitment, then don't. If you don't want to be married then get a divorce. Getting blindsided by an unfaithful spouse is one of the worst betrayals that can happen to you. I know. Watch-Six
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 11:40:04 AM EDT
Originally Posted By garandman: Please be sure to post this PROMINENTLY in your pre-nuptual agreement. I'm sure your future wife would find this scintillating reading material.
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I've been married once. So has the g/f. We both believe [i]once is enough.[/i]
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 11:51:47 AM EDT
In my simple little black-and-white world; yes. Don't make promises you can't keep.
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 12:34:08 PM EDT
Originally Posted By sopmodm4: If you swore to forsake all others in your marriage vows then yes would make a man a POS not because he screwed another woman but because he broke his oath.Monogamy is a Pagan Roman custom and I could give a flip if a man wanted to have dozens of women(like the biblical patriarchs)but being a liar is a sign of weakness in a man. sopmodm4
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excellent way of stating it.
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 12:43:04 PM EDT
I think it is a terrible, cruel thing to do. I don't think it makes you a POS though. Everyone makes mistakes. Tyler
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 1:53:06 PM EDT
Mistake-NO Conscious Choice-YES
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 2:10:42 PM EDT
In terms of men in history "cheating", I believe that since morals and values change over time, it was probably more accepted during the time and thus seemed like less of an issue. Does this make it less of a sin. . . no, but it does give an explanation as to why a supposed great person could do such a thing. In the present day, yes I do believe that a person cheating on their wife is a "POS" and has always been a "POS". Additionally, it means the man is 1) weak and 2) stupid. Then there's the whole Clinton thing. Anyone who says that cheating on his wife wasn't that bad because it was the lies that he told that were bad must realize that a man who breaks his vows to his wife is also a liar and should be treated in accord.
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 2:20:59 PM EDT
Yes.
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 2:29:14 PM EDT
According to Clinton NO. According to me YES.
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 2:43:57 PM EDT
yes
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 5:58:27 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 6:26:48 PM EDT
Quote from Samuel Johnson - "But if he does really think that there is no distinction between virtue and vice, why, Sir, when he leaves our houses let us count our spoons." Of a certainty you are a POS if you cheat on your wife. It is not simply a mistake, because you fully appreciated the nature of what you were about to do. You took pains to prevent discovery of your actions, you lied about the particulars of what you were actually doing, and where you actually were at the time, and you will find good cause to do it all over at the next convenient opportunity. You do not, however, need to remain a POS, for you can reconcile yourself to your wife and commit to never let it happen again. You need not tell her of your failure, just take pains to see that it never repeats itself! BTW, if your wife cheats on YOU, is SHE a POS? Eric The(Hell,Yeah!)Hun[>]:)]
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 6:46:51 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/7/2001 6:47:17 PM EDT by xanadu]
Originally Posted By Princeton: First off, I want to say that every man who has sex with persons other than their wife isn't necessarily cheating. It really depends on the relationship. Some couples just don't put much importance in being faithful. With others its the core of their relationship. You should know to which group you belong. Think what affect it will have on your relationship. If you know for sure that your wife would be hurt finding out that you have been unfaithful than yes you would be a POS. Going just a little further, I do beleive its possible for people to make mistakes. But only you know if what you did was a mistake. How do you feel about it afterwards. Do you have remorse? If not then you should rethink the reasons you are still in the relationship. If its only for the sake of the children then you should be adult enough to be honest with your partner.
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Friends, here's a perfect example of what society has done to our youth over the past few years. [size=6] BULLSHIT! [/size=6] whew... thanks for letting me get that off my chest, yes, if you cheat on your wife, you are definately, a 100% bonafide, no holds barred, POS! The real question is why do you have to ask?
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 7:06:26 PM EDT
[b]ABSOLUTE 100% PIECE OF SHIT[/b] Oh, was I suppose to use the [b]acrynum[/b]???
Link Posted: 9/7/2001 10:48:05 PM EDT
Cheating on a spouse is NOT a mistake. A mistake is something done either by accident or without knowing the concequences. We ALL know cheating is wrong and therefore not a mistake. Any man or woman who cheats is a honorless, lieing, deceatfull, cum-guzzling, $hit-licking waste of oxygen. If you want extra or differant dick or pussy have the balls to step up and end the relationship in the most quiet way possible, then get you rocks off. BrenLover
Link Posted: 9/8/2001 1:24:26 AM EDT
An affair with a woman does not start a failed relationship, but is the result of one. As for my wife, I'd never cheat on her. why? Cuz she'd cut my nuts off, and besides she is a gun lover, likes beer and porno, puts up with my bad habits, and she loves me! Its a bonus she's one attractive brone Aussie blonde!
Link Posted: 9/8/2001 3:57:14 AM EDT
I would say it would depend on the relationship. Am I the only man here that was married and his wife used sex as a tool? Withholding it at will just to get what she wanted. We had no problems to work out, she didn't want a divorce. And I was told if I divorced her she'd take me for everything I had, which she eventually did. I did cheat. I don't consider myself a POS for it just stupid for not divorcing her when she started the crap. Or better yet even more stupid for marring her in the first place. If your in a good relationship and your wife treats you well and you cheat then you maybe a POS.
Link Posted: 9/8/2001 7:20:37 AM EDT
Interesting reading in this thread. The male insight into matters such as this never ceases to intrigue me. It is heartening to see that the majority of you love your wives, honor your marriage vows and profess this fact to the world. I’m proud of you, and once again glad that I chose to associate myself with this board. There are a few, however, who seem to have the same outlook as my ex-husband. The key word here is EX. To that small handful of men on this board who place conditions on whether or not it is alright to cheat on your wife……it is NEVER alright. She may say she forgives you, but you’re hurting her more than you (or even she) may ever know. The damage that something like this does to a person’s self-esteem is far reaching and goes very deep. Don’t kid yourself into thinking that it’s just a mistake and no big deal. If you do it, you forever change the person you’re married to, as well as the relationship. And don’t think I’m picking on the men, here. It goes both ways. No one…male or female…should ever cheat on their spouse. If you can’t make the commitment to one person, don’t get married. If you’re already married, and can’t keep your commitment, tell your spouse and get a divorce (before you cheat). That’s my two cents, and I speak from experience. If anyone cares, I am now remarried to a wonderful and honorable man who, by the way, introduced me to AR15.com. Guess he knows a bunch of good guys when he sees them. [:)]
Link Posted: 9/8/2001 7:30:38 AM EDT
AHH shucks AR-15gal yer makin me blush. It is nice to see most whom have posted have more morals than some politicians and celebrities. Honor and dignity is more important than sex. Like I posted earlier if you are the cheatee instead of cheater you will find out what an ego booster it is. Good day.
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