I own a model 29, 6 inch and a Cobra 4 inch.
For defense I would prefer the .357 simply because it's smaller and lighter. The 125jhp .357 was the #1 "one shot stop" stopper, last time I looked.
I like my Colt, but a lot of people prefer the Ruger sp101. If I were comparing the two, chances are I'd like the Ruger more. Ten years ago, I had to have the Colt. I don't regret it for a second.
I'm assuming you don't want anything to do with S&W. They make fine wheelguns and I honestly like my 29 more than my brother's redhawk.
Of course I've had it since 84, so I won't apologize for owning it.
The 29 with Hogue grips feels natural and points well. I like it's DA pull better than the Redhawk. When I was reloading regularly, I found the S&W would not digest hot loads as well as my Brother's Ruger. That's not to say the Smith couldn't handle, even peak loads, it just wouldn't put them on target like the Ruger. You could feed that Ruger anything without a burp.
I found the best load for my Smith was a minimum throw of Winchester 296.
Don't misunderstand. That minimum load of 296 will belch fire and kick half again as hard as any factory ammo I used.
What .45 do you want to compare with the .357 and .44?
If you're asking about a .45 auto, it would be my choice for defense over the wheelguns.