Gettin' a vasectomy!

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Gettin' a vasectomy!

Posted: 7/10/2001 5:27:57 AM EDT

Well, in an hour I'm off to get a vasectomy, not lookin' forward to it. But, after 2 wonderful kids, a 6 year old girl and a spankin' new boy, it's time to 86 the swimmers. I'm taking the rest of the week off of work, so I'm sure I'll be HAUNTING the boards afterwards! Wish me luck guys!

[chainsawkill]

Posted: 7/10/2001 6:27:41 AM EDT

[#1]

Good Luck!! Let us know how it goes...a guy I work with would love to hear your experience. He's doing the same thing soon.

Posted: 7/10/2001 6:29:04 AM EDT

[#2]

NO! Dont do it! Your voice will change! And when you sweat... well it aint sweat. [:o)] Best of luck shooting blanks the rest of your life!

Posted: 7/10/2001 6:41:23 AM EDT

[#3]

Nice to let us know what you're doing today. [:D]

Hope everything goes well.

Posted: 7/10/2001 6:57:50 AM EDT

[#4]

I hope you aren't part of the 3% that go bad.

My buddie's been laid up and off work for 2 months now due to a vasectomy gone bad.

Posted: 7/10/2001 6:58:30 AM EDT

[#5]

Hope yours goes better than mine... Damn Keiser doctor cut me BEFORE I was numb!

The payoff has been worth while but, I wouldn't do it again! Call me a pussy but getting my nuts cut without anesthesia is not something I am willing to put myself through twice!

Posted: 7/10/2001 6:59:24 AM EDT

[#6]

~~~~~~o last call!

Posted: 7/10/2001 7:00:42 AM EDT

[#7]

[sex][sex][sex][sex][sex][sex][sex][sex]
[sex][sex][sex][sex][sex][sex][sex][sex]
[sex][sex][sex][sex][sex][sex][sex][sex]
[sex][sex][sex][sex][sex][sex][sex][sex]
[sex][sex][sex][sex][sex][sex][sex][sex]
[sex][sex][sex][sex][sex][sex][sex][sex]
[sex][sex][sex][sex][sex][sex][sex][sex]

Posted: 7/10/2001 7:03:23 AM EDT

[#8]

So...Gettin' the Zippity taken from your Doodah?

[:D]

brouhaha

Posted: 7/10/2001 7:25:29 AM EDT

[#9]

man and to think i had anxiety about going to the dentist last week. if i had to get a vasectomy my wife would have to have me put under arrest a week prior and have me knocked out. just the thought of that makes my knees week. someone cuttin at the whoo-ha like that. man, you are a brave man. when the time comes i think the wife is going to have to have her tubes ties. you know after the last kid, shes going to be in teh hospital and all, why not?

Posted: 7/10/2001 7:32:07 AM EDT

[#10]

Nothing to it. You've never been so alive as when you watch smoke curl up off your balls. Afterwards it's like a new toy. The wife couldn't get enough now that the "danger" had passed.

I only took the weekend off and work on Monday wasn't bad at all. The doc gave me some nice narcotics which weren't required at all. Pain, swelling, all that stuff you're worrying about didn't happen to me.

Posted: 7/10/2001 7:34:35 AM EDT

[#11]

I think you are nucking futs. God put them there for a reason, people have made condoms and pills for a reason. My parents had a surprise at age 45. They love him to death and he is now 4 years old! your wife is a wuss if she doesn't want more kids. That means you'll have to buy more Ar-15s to passs down. oh Darn!
-CHuck

Posted: 7/10/2001 9:16:10 AM EDT

[#12]

Well, I'm back! It wasn't so bad, the anesthetic shot SUCKED though! I have a very low threshold for discomfort. Took about 20 minutes, no big deal. Now the local is wearing off, though, so I am having a hydrocodone and a lorazepam. Off to the couch and satellite TV I go!

Posted: 7/10/2001 9:46:47 AM EDT

[#13]

I had it done (twice) last year! About 1 in a 1000 will reconnect for various reasons. Despite cauterizing and clamping, the urologist suspects that starting up my Tour de France cycling routine two weeks after surgery, on a tiny seat may have contributed to the problem. The tubing may have swollen and touched long enough for the body to heal itself at a point downstream of the clamps. This is rare, but it can happen. The second surgery was permanent and FREE OF CHARGE.

I found out with the second sample. Good practice is to require the patient to provide two "clean" samples before the surgery is considered successful. The first one, three weeks post surgery was "clean". The second, two weeks later was "dirty" with some sperm. Suspecting a problem...several more samples over time confirmed the tubes had joined. The nurses got to know me quite well with all my sample visits. Now I tell the flight attendants at work that I'm a "SPORT" model...since I do it only for the sport now. My wife does not see the humor in that. It's a shame that my wife won't let me date!

I once met a guy who was taking child-birthing classes with us because he did not see the need to go back and give those samples and was too embarrassed to walk into the office hand the nurse the jar. Don't UNDERESTIMATE the importance of those follow-up sample exams, and a frozen bag of peas contours to your body better than an ice pack!

Posted: 7/10/2001 10:07:28 AM EDT

[#14]

Don't sweat it!! Its not that bad..........

I just hope you have an experience like I did. I was in the room sitting on the table and in walked my nurse. Holy SHIT!! Damn she was good lookin!! She was of mostly American Indian heritage with long black hair and beautiful dark eyes. She asked me to lay flat on the bed, and pulled my gown up to my chest. She was nice enough to give me a very thorough exam (bless her heart) and complemented me on the shave job. Hehehe. Just then, when I was getting that "special tingle" in my "Woody Allen", in walked the damn doctor. She saw the look on my face and told me not to worry, "We will make sure not to cut anything bad"!! My wife was not to thrilled when I told her what happened though, especially when she saw what the nurse looked like when she wheeled me out of the nut cuttin room. Hope all goes well!!

D(sunkist orange - all juice - no seed)K [:D]

Posted: 7/10/2001 10:11:21 AM EDT

[#15]

My experience was similar to yours in that all went well or as well as could be expected. I am glad I did it. I have 5 sons, ages 9 through 20 wonderful sons butt five is enough. The worst thing that happened to me was about ten days after the procedure. I was standing at the urinal 99% finished with my business. What do we men do to finish that last 1%. We instinctively use those muscles that suck our balls up close to help squeeze out the last few drops. Until you are completely healed don't do it. I did, I have never felt pain like that. Similar I am sure to being kicked square in the balls with a knife pointed boot. Brought me square to my knees right there in the men's room turned pale and almost fell out. Don't forget you ain't completely healed for a long time.

Posted: 7/10/2001 10:15:44 AM EDT

[#16]

Had mine done about 6 years ago.

I'm a lot calmer now. I don't hump legs or pee on the carpet anymore. I also don't get into anywhere near as many fights as I used to.

I also hear that it'll help me live longer.

Posted: 7/10/2001 10:20:57 AM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
I don't hump legs or pee on the carpet anymore.........

View Quote

ROTFLMAO!!!! That was just tooooo damn funny!!

DK [:D]

Posted: 7/10/2001 11:05:34 AM EDT

[#18]

I had mine done just a few weeks ago. I've had dentist visits that were more painful.

After the surgery all I took was advil for a couple days. The doctor gave me a script for percosat (sp?) but I didn't need it at all.

The worst part is having to sit on your butt for 2-3 days. I couldn't stand it.

I slept on the couch the first night so I wouldn't roll over or be accidently 'nudged' by the wife in the wrong place.

Here's a tip that I found helpful - wear two pairs of underwear for the first week or so. The jock strap was uncomfortable, so I tried out my regular underwear (those hybrid kind) underneath the 'bikini briefs' the literature
recommended. Provided a lot of support while
being comfortable.

And if anyone has any questions, check out vasectomy-information.com - very useful site.

Posted: 7/10/2001 11:18:21 AM EDT

[#19]

Had mine done 10 years ago. I was one of the first in my area to get the "No Scalpel" procedure - MUCH better than the original procedure. Was only on my back laid up for 1 day (very little pain - hell, the most painful part of the operation was the initial anesthetic shot). I even got to have the cute nurses shave me :)

The toughest part of it was having to wait a week for sex, then having to use a condom for 2 more weeks while I waited for all my 3 samples to come back.

But WOW! Best thing I could have ever done. My wife can't take birth control pills, so I always had to use a condom, which sucked ass. Now, any time any where :)

Oh, and MeJames - there is NO change whatsoever in your "copious quantities" or the look, feel, taste (so I have been told), etc. The only thing missing is the actual little squiggly guys.

Posted: 7/10/2001 11:51:05 AM EDT

[#20]

Or as the alt.support.vasectomy people say 'All Juice, No Seeds'

Posted: 7/10/2001 12:20:24 PM EDT

[#21]

So you are trading your preban in for a post ban. Now it is less dangerous.

Six

Posted: 7/10/2001 12:33:48 PM EDT

[#22]

well operation went well swelling was not that bad but a couple of years after that is when problems started and I live with slight pain and the only way is to have a operation. I have chose a non operation route right know and if I had to do it over. (NEVER)
if you want to experience it just have your better half haul off and kick you real good in the balls about once a month and thats what a operation gone bad feels like. but its your life and its like playing russian roulet, it turns out for the good most of the time.

Posted: 7/10/2001 1:42:10 PM EDT

[#23]

Had mine done in '85 as my wifes birthday present.

Posted: 7/10/2001 2:00:30 PM EDT

[#24]

Since the wife made me hang out during delivery(both times) and I got to cut the cord (REALLY WEIRD feeling) I convinced her attend my surgery. Doctor let her "help". What a crew he and the nurse were. We told raunchy jokes and laughed the whole time, except for the wife, she wasn't looking so good.....

Posted: 7/10/2001 2:06:46 PM EDT

[#25]

I had mine done 10 years ago. And to be honest for the first year I hurt like hell every time I got a hardon. I guess from what I've heard this isn't the norm. But that was the way it was for me. The pain was like the pain us guys get when we say we have lover's nut if you know what I mean.

I'm not trying to dissuade anyone that is contemplating having this procedure done just stating a fact. If I had it to do over I'd probably would not have it done. Especially since I'm now divorced and womenz my age can't get pregnant, and I don't seem to be getting any young stuff lately.

Posted: 7/10/2001 2:19:05 PM EDT

[#26]

Man, these guys that say it was no big deal are lucky mothers. I still after a year have pain at the incision sites. Very localized and minor but, annoying anyway.

I hope my hernia operation goes better. I made sure I was going to be out for that one!

Posted: 7/10/2001 2:32:12 PM EDT

[#27]

Ah well - me too [:I]

Hey ! we could start a new forum !

Maybe " The Non Firing Squad "

[;D]

Posted: 7/10/2001 2:33:34 PM EDT

[#28]

Damn...

My wife and I have been trying to have a kid for past 4-5 years without any success. Maybe I already had a vasectomy and don't even know it!

Posted: 7/10/2001 5:20:30 PM EDT

[#29]

Maybe I'm just paranoid, but I've worked with three different guys who had a vasectomy. Each was because their wives demanded it. In each of the three cases, their wives left soon (within a year?) after that. Vengeful *itches. They ask for the house, the car, all of the property, all of the money, and half of your income in the future, but that isn't enough for them? They want your manhood too?

Two of my friends unsuccessfully went through surgery to reverse it. Health insurance didn't cover a penny of it, and it also costs 3x (according to one of the guys) as much to undo. So now, those two poor guys are married to someone else who wants kids. I feel sorry for their new wives who are caught in the cross-fire from the first wife's attack.

Think twice about why a wife would want you to do this. Is it because they're about to hit the door, and they want to really screw you in the process.

Posted: 7/10/2001 5:46:56 PM EDT

[#30]

Best of luck with the operation...which brings up a joke so commonly heard in the OR:

Q: What's the difference between men and women?

A: Let me tell ya, there's a VAS DEFERENS

Posted: 7/10/2001 5:56:17 PM EDT

[#31]

Does this means your new handle is "stubby."

Posted: 7/10/2001 7:09:21 PM EDT

[#32]

[:p]

[img]http://home.earthlink.net/~thegardenweasel/ph119.jpg[/img]

Posted: 7/10/2001 7:11:53 PM EDT

[#33]

Had mine done about 13 years ago. Pain didn't last long. had it done in the afternoon back to work the next day. Lots of ice helps.

Posted: 7/10/2001 7:49:37 PM EDT

[#34]

Had mine done a couple of years ago. No problems to date. Just don't pick up anything that is heavy for about two weeks. Good luck.

Posted: 7/11/2001 2:09:41 AM EDT

[#35]

Definition of a Bitch: A woman that signs for you to have a vasectomy, drives you home and says. "That serves you right motherf___er, I going to a lawyer and filing for divorce."

This is a true story that happened to me. I had the vasectomy because I was 38 and she was pregnant with our second child and I thought I was getting too old to be having children.

Damn I miss that womanz, best friend I ever had!

Posted: 7/11/2001 3:57:13 AM EDT

[#36]

WOW !!! My very own blank-firing pistol! Some of the most humorous folks in the world are on this site, I swear. The wife swears she ain't about to ditch me!

[rolleyes]

Posted: 7/11/2001 6:45:43 AM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:
Definition of a Bitch: A woman that signs for you to have a vasectomy, drives you home and says. "That serves you right motherf___er, I going to a lawyer and filing for divorce."

This is a true story that happened to me. I had the vasectomy because I was 38 and she was pregnant with our second child and I thought I was getting too old to be having children.

Damn I miss that womanz, best friend I ever had!

View Quote

How about a wife that gets tubes tied, only to try it out all over town? Same thing, only different.

Posted: 7/11/2001 7:48:57 AM EDT

[#38]

Had mine done about 7 years ago, did it as a
Valentine's Day present to the Missus. Wasn't
too bad, but then again I owned up to being a
wuss the day before so the Doc gave me a couple
of Vicadin (sp?) to take BEFORE hand.

I worked that Friday morning, stopped by the
local bar on the way home and had 3 Jack & cokes, gulped down both pills & went in an hour
later for the procedure. (Maybe I should say
floated in?) Say what you want - sure took the
edge off!!

No regrets or long term unpleasant side effects.

[sex]

Jeez - I've been off line at work since January
and now after all this time I'm back talking
about my nuts. Go figure.

Posted: 7/11/2001 8:34:15 AM EDT

[#39]

My dog didn't complain, he just licks hiomself alot

Posted: 7/11/2001 10:09:33 AM EDT

[#40]

I had mine done the first time in 1952. They tried to give me anesthesia, but the 14 gauge needle would not penetrate the skin. Used a bite stick instead. Scalpels were ineffective and dulled upon contact.The doctor had to use a small shaped charge in order to operate. Two nurses had to take turns holding my testicles out of the way, massive weight you know. Took a surgical team four hours to complete the procedure.

My vas deferens has grown back several times since. I'm getting weary of all that mucking around down there.

Commander McBrag

Posted: 7/11/2001 10:10:05 AM EDT

[#41]

I'm thinking of having my tubes snipped for the same reason a buddy of mine did - to hose single mothers!

Once you hit your 30's you start to meet all these single mothers in their 20's. They all can't wait to call you their boyfriend and put out, and they all usually tell you they're on The Pill (when they're not) or they really don't care that much about using birth control in the hopes there's an "accident" and you'll marry them. The last one I dumped because she refused to use birth control got pregnant with the next boyfriend, and now he's stuck!

So here's my plan - get a vasectomy, but don't tell anyone about it. Then date all the single mothers I can and get tons of sex but not have to worry about getting trapped! It's an untapped gold mine of poontang!!!! [sex] [thinking]

Posted: 7/11/2001 10:27:07 AM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:
...They tried to give me anesthesia, but the 14 gauge needle would not penetrate the skin. Used a bite stick instead...Two nurses had to take turns holding my testicles out of the way, massive weight you know....

View Quote

You're NUTS!

Posted: 7/11/2001 10:42:27 AM EDT

[#43]

Welcome to the SUNKIST CLUB!!!!

All juice...........No SEED!!

Posted: 7/11/2001 5:16:59 PM EDT

[#44]

Had it done when I was 42, had to have the foreskin cut off at age 35. Talk about painful!!

Posted: 7/12/2001 12:34:49 AM EDT

[#45]

Also. I forgot to mention that my wife referred to it as "brain surgery".

Posted: 7/12/2001 12:49:38 AM EDT

[#46]

Quoted:
Also. I forgot to mention that my wife referred to it as "brain surgery".

View Quote

LMAO! Too funny.

Posted: 7/12/2001 2:37:26 AM EDT

[#47]

Quoted:
Had it done when I was 42, had to have the foreskin cut off at age 35. Talk about painful!!

View Quote

Whoa!!! You are a bigger man than me...then again...maybe not! [sex]

Posted: 7/12/2001 9:44:30 AM EDT

[#48]

You know, of course, that now all of your kids will be born nekkid!

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Gettin' a vasectomy!

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