Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login

Log In

A valid email is required.
Password is required.
Site Notices
6/25/2017 7:35:25 PM
6/21/2017 8:25:40 PM
Posted: 6/28/2001 12:02:06 PM EDT
It's a dirty job, but they want to do it. WHO ARE YOU going to call? When a homicidal maniac's shotgun blasts a victim's flesh on walls and windows? When a sickly suicidal fillets his arteries in bed, drowning mattress and carpet in hemoglobin laced with hepatitis? When a weird recluse expires and decomposes for two weeks in a disheveled dwelling that's waist-deep in fetid debris and the feces of nine generations of cats? Crime Scene Cleaners! trauma-scene disposal is gobbling up its competition like hungry maggots on a fresh cadaver. with sturdy solvents, helmeted in full-face filter respirators, costumed in white nonporous disposable suits – "Gore sells," says the owner who has franchised his bloody business to nine other cities in the United States, with an additional six in negotiations. "We play on fear." Smithers brazenly promotes his scrub-the-blood service with large crimson letters.What's the job like? Gross, nauseating, depressing? Smithers seems stupefied by the public's wimpy reaction to his necrotic vocation. "Emotionally, I don't have a problem with this work at all. Human tragedy? I swim in this crap; it doesn't bother me, Eee-yuck! Brains splattered everywhere – how do you clean that? "Brain dries like cement," the Crime Scene Cleaners tycoon sighs. "Solidifies like superglue. We use putty knives to knock down the high parts, then firm-bristled brushes to scrub it. If that doesn't work, we bring in a giant truck-mounted steam-injection machine that melts the dried brains and blood and sucks it up into a chemical treatment tank. And if a carpet is too gore-soaked to save, we cut out the stained chunks with razor blades." Smithers explains. "Last month we cleaned up a murder-suicide in Union City, after a guy used a shotgun on his wife and himself. He totaled two different bedrooms, and he ruined all the furniture. Cleaning it required moving three truckloads of waste and seven hours of scrubbing – it was one of the most exhausting jobs I've ever done." "After Travolta and Jackson wasted the dude in the car, they brought in 'the Wolf,' played by Harvey Keitel, who cleaned up the mess, and I realized, that's it! That's what I'll do! I started soon after that, working out of my El Sobrante home with just Simple Green and a scrub brush. I did the first 700 jobs by myself." Smithers believed that he could compete because "frankly, the competition didn't know how to do marketing. I hit the pavement hard, talking death. I bought lots of addresses, and I mailed out trifolds to any business that might have a bloody problem someday." Smithers explains that his price tag for cleaning up a mortal mess "depends on severity. It's more gruesomely tedious to repaint a room that has blood showered on the ceiling from a gun blast than it is to simply wash out a bathtub." Generally his bill runs from $100 to $575. A peculiarly ghastly budget item is the expense of burning gore in Oakland's medical waste incinerator: although it costs only $3 to $7 a pound to inflame bloody gunk, the oven operators demand an accumulated minimum of 100 pounds. Sixty percent of Crime Scene Cleaners' business is suicide, highest demographic being men in their late 30s and early 40s who snuff themselves with a gunshot or a wrist slashing. But, he adds, "There's always also old people, sick people, and alone people." An additional 33 to 37 percent are accidents, with homicide accounting for the final 3 to 7 percent.
Link Posted: 6/28/2001 12:11:16 PM EDT
Somethings are not worth the money. To go into a home where the victim has been dead for a week, with maggots and congealed blood and guts. I think I would be hacking for days afterward. I also think it would ruin your perception of humanity seeing so much death and misery. My brother-in-law is an assistant coroner, and it has turned him into an alcoholinc. The ones where parents kill their kids really get him.
Link Posted: 6/28/2001 12:25:38 PM EDT
But he is doing SIX FIGURES!!
Link Posted: 6/28/2001 12:28:48 PM EDT
I saw a documentary on these companies. The professional ones wear hazmat suits and use LOTS of bleach and disinfectants when cleaning up the messes because after all they are handling biohazardous waste. If this guy isn't doing the same, he is just asking to get some nasty disease.
Link Posted: 6/28/2001 2:55:26 PM EDT
I got news for you... Most mid-size and larger cities already have several such companies. They been around atleast since 1982. I wrote a business proposal for a class in University at that time for just such business only to find out that it was nothing new.
Link Posted: 6/28/2001 3:25:37 PM EDT
Go to your local commerical bank and ask for a start up loan---take pictures. think repackage.
Link Posted: 6/28/2001 3:37:42 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/28/2001 5:09:29 PM EDT by Striker]
Now tell me how you're going to clean this up satcong...think pooling. Cut and paste this link and then click on click here. Enjoy movie. [blue]edited because mpegs of someone blowing a hole in the top of his head doesn't belong on this site.[/blue] Now picture satcong and myself running in there in biohazard suits like ghostbusters yelling, "quick get it mopped up before it dries on your new carpet!!!"
Link Posted: 6/28/2001 4:10:24 PM EDT
Sounds like a job for the main character of "Fight Club." Ha ha
Link Posted: 6/28/2001 4:30:16 PM EDT
There is a biz that has just started up around here in the last 6 mo. It's called "Dog Duty". Can you guess what it is? A couple of FINE looking ladies run it, and I do mean FINE [:P] [sex]
Link Posted: 6/28/2001 4:36:43 PM EDT
How are they making 6 figures if they're only charging $100 to $575? They must have quite a few people that do this for them.
Top Top