Sucking chest wound - need medical advice...

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Sucking chest wound - need medical advice...

Posted: 6/25/2001 11:00:49 AM EDT

It appears that I've made a little mistake and shot myself in the chest with a .30-06.

For a while there I was getting some bubbles from the entrance and exit wounds, along with a squishy sucking sound. It now seems to have stopped and I think maybe my lung has collapsed.

I really hate to waste time at the doctor's office, so I figured I'd do the next best thing and post it here.

Can I get by with just one lung? Or is there some way to reinflate a lung, with maybe the tire pump down at the Amoco?

Any info would be greatly apprec huuuuungghghggrrgrgrhhhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Posted: 6/25/2001 11:03:59 AM EDT

[#1]

Put the barrel in your mouth and pull trigger.

Ice

Posted: 6/25/2001 11:05:34 AM EDT

[#2]

I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV.

Duct tape a 1' x 1' piece of Saranwrap over the hole(s). Then reinflate the lung with a basketball needle affixed to a bicycle pump.

[kill]

Posted: 6/25/2001 11:06:39 AM EDT

[#3]

Wimp!!!

Just lump it like a man.

What da ya think you have 2 of them for?

Posted: 6/25/2001 11:08:56 AM EDT

[#4]

Are you breathing?
Restore your breathing.

Now, while maintaining pressure on the wound, find a piece of plastic (like an ID card), place it over the wound to seal the air.
Next apply a bandage/field-dressing, to stop the bleeding and to keep the would clean.
Be sure to check for an exit wound.
If you're in shock, lie down, elevate your feet and put on a sweater, to stay warm.
Then take plenty of Motrin.
You should be just fine.

Posted: 6/25/2001 11:11:50 AM EDT

[#5]

I know that the poster was just kidding, but I just couldn't pass this up.

A sucking chest wound (pneumothorax) is caused by the LOSS of the natural vaccum in the chest wall that surrounds the lungs. When positive air pressure is in the chest wall, the lungs cannot expand when you inhale.

In order to restore lung function, you have to restore the vaccum. In your case, if there is an exit wound, plug it up as tightly as you can. At the entrance wound, place a hollow tube (a pen tube for small caliber holes would work well) in the hole so it goes into the chest cavity but is not obstructed by soft tissue (or the lungs themselves). Have a buddy suck out the air in the chest cavity and plug the tube to maintain the vaccum. If you're by yourself, take a large capacity syringe (without needle) and place it in the hole and draw out the air with the plunger.

MacGuyver in Maryland [;)]

Posted: 6/25/2001 11:20:58 AM EDT

[#6]

Quoted:
Have a buddy suck out the air in the chest cavity and plug the tube to maintain the vacuum.

View Quote

If this were real I think he would be better off having a little suction somewhere else "one last time" before he expires--and not by a buddy. LOL [}:D]

Posted: 6/25/2001 11:40:15 AM EDT

[#7]

I think you should try some acupuncture. If that doesn't solve the problem go to a chiropractor.

Posted: 6/25/2001 11:41:00 AM EDT

[#8]

Naaaaaaaaa I'd better not [:I]

Posted: 6/25/2001 11:43:46 AM EDT

[#9]

Be a man....suck it up!

Posted: 6/25/2001 11:45:05 AM EDT

[#10]

Sucking chest wound, huh? Well, a little duct tape ought to fix that right up...
[:E]

Posted: 6/25/2001 1:12:11 PM EDT

[#11]

Relax, a sucking chest wound is only mother natures way of telling you to slow down and chillout[xx(]

Posted: 6/25/2001 1:21:08 PM EDT

[#12]

[?] did ya get it on tape........

Posted: 6/25/2001 1:25:38 PM EDT

[#13]

Back when I blew my left nut off with my Lorcin, I used carton tape to hold the remnants of the sack together. I would suggest using play-dough, its very pliable and will harden into a lasting plug. Hope this helps.

Posted: 6/25/2001 1:26:04 PM EDT

[#14]

This would not have happened if you had been wearing proper body armour.

Posted: 6/25/2001 1:26:59 PM EDT

[#15]

...find a 3-foot long piece of hose of the appropriate diameter; attach one end into the entrance wound until the pain is excruciatingly unbearable, then lay on your exit wound to seal it off; next, place the other end of the hose gently into your sphincter and the vacuum will be restored---however, you will have bad breath until you get more help...!

Posted: 6/25/2001 1:51:37 PM EDT

[#16]

[b]I'm really laughing my ass off![/b] [:D] I had a rotten day at work and was in a very bad mood when I got home. This thread is hilarious. Thanks guys for making me laugh like a fool. I needed that.

Posted: 6/25/2001 1:59:13 PM EDT

[#17]

Are you a democrat? You might want to run down to the local tattoo shop and have Monica's face tattooed around it. Even better if you smoke cigars. What a great attention-getter that would be at the next convention![smoke]

Posted: 6/25/2001 2:19:51 PM EDT

[#18]

Where's Kuiper when we need him?

Posted: 6/25/2001 3:08:30 PM EDT

[#19]

[b]HANG IN THERE,....IM ENROUTE CODE THREE[/b]
oh,...by the way....how much money have you got on you?

Posted: 6/25/2001 3:11:06 PM EDT

[#20]

Put your head between your legs and kiss your a** goodbye.

Posted: 6/25/2001 3:12:28 PM EDT

[#21]

This whole thread really needs to be posted in the "Troubleshooting" forum.

Posted: 6/25/2001 3:23:30 PM EDT

[#22]

HMMMM.
1st, all chest wounds suck.
2nd, since you shot yourself, with a 30.06, at point blank range, you just turned your innards into mush. Mucho foot pounds of pressure....sorry dude.
Of course, it could be a thru & thru....
Then you need to seal up the exit wound, restore the vacum, and re-inflate the lung.
You will need to put a "flap-valve" dressing on the entrance wound. This is so when you breath out it will allow the blood and innards to flow out, and seal up when you (attempt) to breath in.

Sucks to be you dude.

Edited 'cause I was laughing too hard to type.

Posted: 6/25/2001 3:47:21 PM EDT

[#23]

Stop, drop and roll.

Posted: 6/25/2001 3:55:37 PM EDT

[#24]

GovtThug, no problem my friend. I had the exact same problem once except my rifle was a 375 H&H. I was shot clean through just as you where and I will tell you what I did so you can do the same. Almost right away I noticed that I had an internal bleeding problem and more than likely you do to since the chest cavity is full of veins and arteries. So the first thing I did is start a big fire in the fireplace. The poker to andiron set was loose and had fallen of more than a few times and it was easy to remove it again, you may use any long piece of mettle if you choose and if you don’t have a fireplace you can just start a fire on your living room floor. Next place the andiron or piece of mettle in the fire until it gets white-hot. At this point take it out of the fire and thread it into the entrance hole and fish it through your chest and out the exit hole (this may hurt a little but that’s OK) replete the procedure four more times (more if needed). Next stick a cork in the exit wound and fasten in place with diaper pins, now I know your thinking, “I like the duct tape idea better” but forget it. after a few days it will fall off and you will have to tape it over again, this saves you the time involved.
Once this is done you should drive down to your nearest gas station that provides air and stick the air hose in the entrance wound and turn the air on its highest level. This will hurt a little and likely induce coughing but that’s OK, it helps clean out your lungs. Now comes the tricky part, while your lung is full you must cork it as quickly as you can and secure it in place with railroad spikes, they work even better than the diaper pins and have a way cool look too.

Some people would just go to a doctor but I say who needs um, when you can fix the problem yourself.

THISISME

Posted: 6/25/2001 9:25:23 PM EDT

[#25]

just be glad it wasn't the stomach or the balls.
if it were the stomach than you would have to deal with infection of the blood aka sepsis which from what I hear is mighty painful. if you were shot in the balls that would be a bitch to explain on first dates, or if your married well no kids for you.

it could be worse

ps never say that it always gets worse..... always.

Posted: 6/26/2001 6:05:19 AM EDT

[#26]

GovtThug,
Easy now, before you pass out (and/or on) whisper to me your gun safe combination....

Posted: 6/26/2001 6:07:34 AM EDT

[#27]

Hehehe

I work in a small emergency room in SE KY. A few weeks ago, I kid shot himself in the upper right side of his chest with a .30-06. On purpose. He said he was mad at his folks, and wanted to hurt himself for attention. Spoiled rich kid. Well, the idea worked.

Shredded his upper and middle lobes of the right lung, missed his subclavian artery by scant centimeters, and DESTROYED his scapula (shoulder blade, for you non-medical folks). The exit wound was a thing of beauty and awe. I could have thrown a frickin cat through the hole. It was HUGE!!

I slapped occlusive dressings on the entry (small and burned by muzzle flash), but I had to pack the huge exit wound with several strips of vaseline gauze. We put a chest tube in him, and flew him to the big-time University hospital. Throughout his treatment, he kept telling us he was in pain. I said, "You do realize, of course, that YOU shot YOURSELF in the chest with a .30-06, right?"

I like GSWs, and I like trauma. It's a sick world, and I am a happy guy . . .

[shotgun]

Posted: 6/26/2001 6:24:28 AM EDT

[#28]

Duck Tape.

Posted: 6/26/2001 6:46:39 AM EDT

[#29]

Dr. Ruth would suggest:

"Mulch your penis in a lawn-mower and forget about the little mishap."

Posted: 6/26/2001 6:55:55 AM EDT

[#30]

posted @ 15:00 on monday and its 11:00 on tuesday.....no need to reply about medical advice. I do know a good mortician and hurst driver if your interested.

Posted: 6/27/2001 6:56:09 AM EDT

[#31]

Your only hope at this point is armoatherapy.

Posted: 6/27/2001 7:15:11 AM EDT

[#32]

I'm feeling better now. It only hurts when I laugh.

HahahaOWWWWWW.

HahahaOWWWWWW.

Posted: 6/27/2001 7:23:37 AM EDT

[#33]

While patrol in Nam, we had a guy get a sucking chest wound . I didn't have any duck tape so I used the cellophane wrapper off a cigarette pack to seal the hole.

red man

Posted: 6/27/2001 7:36:51 AM EDT

[#34]

Tourniquet around the neck.

Posted: 6/27/2001 1:48:07 PM EDT

[#35]

I bet it cut your smoking in half.

Posted: 6/27/2001 6:29:23 PM EDT

[#36]

You need to pick up the blue health orb in the secret room, and while you're there pick up the rocket launcher as well. Then you are ready for the battle with the Spider Mastermind.

Posted: 6/27/2001 6:49:33 PM EDT

[#37]

[img]http://www.finalfront.com/hosting/users/geepgeep/RTmob10550percent.JPG[/img]

..sorry, turbine is down,my mechanic is still eating lunch, my RN and Paramedic team for this shift are ...yeah..chasing down some o2..or where they still screwing??...OK, I'm screwing her and he is waiting his turn....they'll have to drive you in....or you could just walk it off[sex]

rigid out!

Posted: 6/27/2001 7:10:15 PM EDT

[#38]

Quoted:
Hehehe

I work in a small emergency room in SE KY. A few weeks ago, I kid shot himself in the upper right side of his chest with a .30-06. On purpose. He said he was mad at his folks, and wanted to hurt himself for attention. Spoiled rich kid. Well, the idea worked.

Shredded his upper and middle lobes of the right lung, missed his subclavian artery by scant centimeters, and DESTROYED his scapula (shoulder blade, for you non-medical folks). The exit wound was a thing of beauty and awe. I could have thrown a frickin cat through the hole. It was HUGE!!

I slapped occlusive dressings on the entry (small and burned by muzzle flash), but I had to pack the huge exit wound with several strips of vaseline gauze. We put a chest tube in him, and flew him to the big-time University hospital. Throughout his treatment, he kept telling us he was in pain. I said, "You do realize, of course, that YOU shot YOURSELF in the chest with a .30-06, right?"

I like GSWs, and I like trauma. It's a sick world, and I am a happy guy . . .

[shotgun]

View Quote

You lucky Bastard!

The best trauma we get in East L.A. (Lansing-area...[Mich.St.Univ]) is girls swallowing the shot glasses when showing off for friends. They drink shots with no hands...Keep a stiff upper lip!

Posted: 6/27/2001 7:52:52 PM EDT

[#39]

Really?
Shot yourself in the chest with a 30.06?
Pray tell, how did you do that? Why are you still here then?
Was it intentional? Are you unhappy?
Even if not, I would expect you to be
either dead outright, or in shock, getting
there....
If you were really a Government Mother-Fucking Thug, then you would have Served your Time in one or another of the Armed Forces, and wouldn't be Trolling with stupid posts, like needing medical advice for Sucking Fucking Chest Wounds.....

Posted: 6/27/2001 11:27:44 PM EDT

[#40]

Just Walk it off!!!

Six

Posted: 6/28/2001 1:01:25 AM EDT

[#41]

O' hell, its just a flesh wound.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Sucking chest wound - need medical advice...

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