I got this in an email and thought I'd share it with y'all (because my one remaining friend isn't speaking to me now either).


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Are you tired of all those mushy "friendship" poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a
"friendship" poem that really speaks to true friendship, and truth itself!

Friend, When you are sad, ...I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge
against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
When you are blue, ...I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
When you smile, ...I'll know you finally got laid.
When you are scared, ...I will rag you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried, ...I will tell you horrible stories about how much
worse it could be and to quit whining.
When you are confused, ...I will use little words to explain it to your dumb
ass.
When you are sick, ...stay away from me until you're well again. I don't want
whatever you have.
When you fall, ...I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath, ...I pledge 'til the end. Why you may ask? Because you're my
friend!

Send this poem to ten of your closest friends and get depressed because you
realize you only have 2 friends, and one of them is not speaking to you right
now anyway.

P.S. A friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body.

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I don't get it.

No friends eh Imbrog|io?  

well you have 1 friend, villaragossa

Antonio won't even talk to me since he got in the L.A. Mayor campaign.

I stand corrected, Mike Feuer likes you too!

Feuer says I am an anti-semite because I made a remark that the motzah soup his mom made didn't have enough salt.