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Posted: 5/21/2001 2:55:48 PM EDT
I been married 18 years and still have not figured women out.  I know men are not supposed to understand them so I gave up.  The part that really bugs me is how they can spit out a few kids and give up on trying to keep fit.  They bitch about gaining weight and the fact that we don't give them more attention.  The fact of the matter is that men are more in to physical attraction than women and the just don't understand that it bothers (most) of us that they don't try to keep somewhat fit for us.  I don't expect her to look like she did when I married her, but I sure would like her to at least try.  Am I alone here?

Sorry ladies, learn from this tread.
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 2:57:25 PM EDT
[#1]
Sound like you need an extra-marital affair to spice up your life.
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 3:03:30 PM EDT
[#2]
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 3:05:21 PM EDT
[#3]
Quoted:
Sound like you need an extra-marital affair to spice up your life.
View Quote
                     You could come to Nevada and rent a relationship.
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 3:51:29 PM EDT
[#4]

Quoted:

I don't expect her to look like she did when I married her, but I sure would like her to at least try. Am I alone here?  
View Quote


Heck no, brother!  You sure are not alone!  Every single married friend I have has a wife who has put on a significant amount of weight after getting married while the guy gained just a little weight. Three of my buddies are stuck with wives who are considered extremely obese and have a difficult time getting around.  I remember them in person or seen pictures of these women when they were slim and trim.  

Although, it isn't true for every married couple because my sister looks great for somebody with a few kids.  But she does smoke a lot and maybe that is the reason she doesn't consume too much food.

Makes me want to only date women and [u]never[/u] get married so I can always have a woman who is average or near average in weight.  Or maybe find a woman who is heavy into extreme sports or fitness centers.  [0j]  He he Just a thought.    [:)]

BTW, congrats on being married for 18 years!  [:)]

[b]-RoadDog[/b]
[img]http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/Gif/scooby1.gif[/img]
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 3:52:33 PM EDT
[#5]
Marriage? Hell, I'm all for it....I've done it five times.
Mine have all been little tiny things.....three blonds and two brunettes. The secret is you have to work the weight off 'em. A good rooster keeps the fat ran off of all the hens in the barn lot.;)
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 4:15:32 PM EDT
[#6]
Dear Abby,

Mine is completely the opposite. When the wife and I go out, I am the one that is very self-conscious since after 13 years of marraige she has not gain a single lb. nor have her looks aged.

While I on the other hand, gained 30 lbs and and 5 lbs of it seems to be on my face and neck. I do admit that I gained most of the weight when I stopped smoking almost 2 years ago. I try to be the same person I was when we got married but with all the things that life put me through, I can clearly see the lines showing and the hair disappearing.[:D][:D]

I do hope that it is a man's character that attracts their spouses. [;)]
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 4:39:04 PM EDT
[#7]
Whats the difference between a wife and a girl friend?





about 40 pounds

Well, I dont know, I've been married 20 years in august. my wife is only about 20 pounds overweight, matches the 20 pounds I've gained, but, I tell you what, that pussy is gonna shrivel up from non use. Drives me nuts! If I had one of those things I could'nt use it often enough. never when i want it but if she does and I dont(never) man I'll never get it again. I think I'll move to Nevada. She tells me I can have a girl friend. but, hey, they are all the same stand them on their head they all look like sisters
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 4:45:34 PM EDT
[#8]
Why not gain weight?
They get you to put a ring on them
and your hooked just like a fish
and if you want cut loose its usually painful.
Just like fishing from a fish's point of view.
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 4:47:53 PM EDT
[#9]
The opposite here. I gained 60 lbs, she lost, she used to be afraid of sex and now she chases me around the house. Isn't it funny, now that she wants to do it three/four times a night, I can only do it twice.
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 4:52:53 PM EDT
[#10]
I've thought about the girlfriend thing. Honestly, I am not sure I am up to the chase.  One woman is too much head games to handle.  I'd give both my nuts to get her to lose 50lbs.  I wish I could say or do something to motivate her.  Even worse, her disposition is worse because she doesn't like the way she looks.  She won't eat right or exercise.  She's looking for the majic pill that don't exist.  I have gained 15lbs since marrage but I watch what I eat and exercise.
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 5:00:38 PM EDT
[#11]
Ah yes...

She gained weight, thinking of cheating on her, trying everything to get her to make her self look better.

Now that's what I call love.

What the fuck did you marry, her snatch or her heart?

Be a fuckin man and tell her exactly what you did marry and then do both yourselves and your kids if any a favor and divorce.

Marriage is not superficial, and if you're "seriously" thinking about cheating on your fucking wife because she doesn't look the way you want her too, then you shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.

The outside is what you look at, the inside is what you love.
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 5:05:24 PM EDT
[#12]
Ladies and Gentlemen, Be warned! The post above mine is not that of the true Frank the Spank!

[:D][:D][:D][:D]


Honestly, I thought that someone did get the password to your account here!
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 5:10:30 PM EDT
[#13]
Sounds like She needs some incentive, I know when we go on vacation, we usually go to Florida, the Bahamas, Hawaii this year. she always seems to want to slim down after sitting on the beach, after a week on the beach she wants to move there. Something about the sun that makes a person want to be healthy. either that or if one of her heavy friends has a heart attack that will usually make a person stop and think
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 5:12:03 PM EDT
[#14]
My cat's bun rises when I pet her.

Could I now take FrankTheSpanks role now? [:D]

[b]-RoadDog[/b]
 [img]http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/Gif/scooby2.gif[/img]
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 5:18:50 PM EDT
[#15]
I knew someone would flame me.  Frank, are you a man or a woman in a man's body.  That sounds like sh*t you hear on a soap opera.  Wake up dude, you are a minority.
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 5:42:13 PM EDT
[#16]
DeerSlayer,

If Frank is the minority here then, there are two of us.

By the words you use, it seems that you are comtemplating cheating on your wife and trying to justify it with these issues.

I do not know whether these words that Frank used came from soap operas because I do not watch such shows but at least he has the balls to tell it like he sees it!

All Hail Frank the Spank!
All Hail Frank the Spank!
All Hail Frank the Spank!
All Hail Frank the Spank!
All Hail Frank the Spank!

Link Posted: 5/21/2001 5:45:29 PM EDT
[#17]
Mine weighs 15-20lbs less than when I first met her.
Even after three kids
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 5:46:38 PM EDT
[#18]
I am a man. A man that wouldn't make a life commitment to a woman and then "seriously think" about breaking it on the account of that woman gaining some weight.

Pussy is great, I love it and it should be canned and come in a convenient easy squeeze bottle. But lying to someone saying you love them and want to be with them for the rest of their life and then ditching them later because your personal blow up doll lost some of it's air is just cowardly.

Seriously, did you marry her for her looks or her heart?

Looks I bet. Ya see it's fucking people like you that makes marriage cheap, why some 80% of couples divorce in America.

Because you have NO FUCKING CLUE what marriage is.

Oh just fuck fuck fuck fuck like bunnies and say "baby... I fuck you so much.. I want to always fuck you... so lets get married!! I love how you fuck!!"

Just get on with it and stop pretending. Stay single, fuck bar trash, get AIDS and die.

After all its' what you want. Marriage is not what you want and you should probably tell your wife.
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 5:49:40 PM EDT
[#19]
Mine has gained and health with a bad thyroid hurts.  I have gained also, but try to exercise.  I can hold it down, but she seems not concerned.  Frustrating.  I love her and it's been 20 years.

No on the girl friend BS.  You guys lost what a vow means.  
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 6:29:58 PM EDT
[#20]
My girlfriend wants me to be honest if I think I she gains to much weight.  I should just tell her.  I don't about that, I lover her alot, I mentioned something once.  She lost a lot of weight, I wasn't mean - just stupid.  I still hear about it every once and again.  I do love her alot, and I'm not going to leave her.  After I get out of school we'll get married.  Back to the topic - I don't know if their is a safe way to say that.  I mean for health reasons alone, I don't know - I'm just a dumb invidual that told his opinion when asked.  I don't have nearly that many opinions any more.

Anthony
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 6:31:57 PM EDT
[#21]
Frank, I'm not trying to speak for Dearslayer here but I dont recall him saying he WAS going to have an affair. he's been married for 18 years so I guess he has made the "commitment". I think he is just frustrated about the weight gain and her not being concerned with it. I love to look at women and there are so many more heavy people than slim or fit these days. Sad but true, I blame this on the fast food resturaunts. I love women and my wife knows it, but, she still does not seem to care as much as she should.
Dearslayer, I know I misspelled it. please dont think about this . and if you must, kill her with a Rosie O'Donnel. dont use a gun (just kidding)
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 6:53:27 PM EDT
[#22]
ut I dont recall him saying he WAS going to have an affair
View Quote


No, he did say he was "seriously thinking about it."

How the hell can someone be so fickle about love? In my opinion if you are so wishy washy about loving someone... then you really don't love them and you never did. You just have no idea what true love is.

The love most people think is "I'll marry him if he gets a good job"

"I'm gonna ask her for a threesome"

"He knocked me up so we're gonna get married"

"She's got big tits, I love her."

This people... is not love. This is what you THINK is love. And marriage shouldn't even be considered.

he's been married for 18 years so I guess he has made the "commitment"
View Quote


Yes, but not a LIFE commitment such as marriage. If 18 years is all you want to commit to then don't get married.

Ya know that whole "till death do us part"

...and the "forever" thing.
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 7:07:43 PM EDT
[#23]
Deerslayer, Did you ever think she gained the weight because, she is unhappy? I have lost my kidneys, and gained weight from dialysis, my husband loves me for me. He would rather have as I am, then the later dead. Do you love her? Tell her.

Mrs. DieselDoctor
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 7:14:33 PM EDT
[#24]
Gee Wiz, Is your wife standing over your shoulder, I agree with the whole lifetime thing too, but, 'cmon it sure helps if she looks good.
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 7:31:36 PM EDT
[#25]
Have you guys with large wives tried exercising together? It seems that it would be a good way to make a date with your spouse.
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 7:44:03 PM EDT
[#26]
Well, it's a terrible thing, but men are attracted to looks. You may still love your wife even if she gained 100 pounds, but you probably wouldn't be attracted to her anymore.

Something like you love her but you aren't in love with her anymore.

So what's worse, your wife gaining 100 pounds and still wants sex, or she still has a hot little bod and could care less about sex anymore?
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 7:47:49 PM EDT
[#27]
Men gain wieght when they're happy, women gain weight when they're depressed.  Seriously, it may be the problem.  If you are seriously thinking about an affair, sounds like nobody's happy and this thing is on the way to the junkyard.  How old are the kids?  I grew up in a single parent house and it SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!  Don't divorce, but the two of you need help.
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 8:03:50 PM EDT
[#28]
Quoted:

What the fuck did you marry, her snatch or her heart?  
View Quote


I assume it is a safe assumption that your S.O. is rather large?
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 8:14:09 PM EDT
[#29]
Well, Deerslayer, I empathize (sorry for the pc terminology) with ya. Here's the secret. Let your first wife squirt out the kids, put on the tons, and when she gets in super pms mode, tell her to take a hike. Take the kids. Marry a woman who cares and takes care of her body. Introduce the kids to her (before you marry her). Best case sceanario is she doesn't have any of her own. If they take to each other, you won't have to have any more. No child support payments, which the bitch spends on Ring Dings and Puerto Rican Pool Boys instead of the kids. Does that sound like a plan or what?
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 8:23:15 PM EDT
[#30]
Who are you and what have you done with Frank?
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 8:59:43 PM EDT
[#31]
I kinda like a few extra pounds on my women.  Ever gotten beaten to death with pelvic bones during some good old fashioned marathon sex?  I have, and it did not make the EXPERIENCE pleasurable for me.  I love my women for what is inside them and not their looks.  But, I have to agree with a few guys here that when women gain lots of weight that is a sure sign of depression.  She is unhappy and if you don't know why you need to find out and help her through whatever it is that is making her miserable.  Looks fade but what is in a persons heart and soul doesn't.  

"Men fall in love through their eyes,
Women fall in love through their ears,
Men give love to get sex,
Women give sex to get love"    
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 9:11:37 PM EDT
[#32]
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 9:13:04 PM EDT
[#33]
Quoted:
Marriage? Hell, I'm all for it....I've done it five times.
Mine have all been little tiny things.....three blonds and two brunettes. The secret is you have to work the weight off 'em. A good rooster keeps the fat ran off of all the hens in the barn lot.;)
View Quote


Well spoken Gunslinger [:D]
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 9:13:33 PM EDT
[#34]
want to make her feel guilty about her size, go exercise, keep fit, eat healthy, she will feel bad for not doing the same, and my join you..... viola! instant workout partner [:)]
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 9:16:33 PM EDT
[#35]
Deerslayer
By chance did you look at her mom before you got married? The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, how about her feet, pretty big?? Thats what I was told at a young age.

idaho-ar15
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 9:19:19 PM EDT
[#36]
No, but to be honest I quit trying too.[:)]
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 9:28:31 PM EDT
[#37]
Ya know the funny part...

most of you are religious.

Me on the other hand am not and have strong morals.

The religious folk think it's fine to cheat on your wife. Why? because Lord Jesus Christ will forgive me on Sunday!!! So I can be a total slime ball because I go to church every Sunday and push my fake religion on everyone around me and beat the love of the lord Jesus Christ into my children!!! Oh I don't believe in abortions because I am a man of god!!! Well except when I knock up the whore at work while cheating on my wife, so to be a "man" and hide everything I have her abort my bastard child so my wife and kids won't find out. Oh but the Lord Jesus Christ forgives me on Sunday!!!! Pro Life!! Pro Christian!!!

And people wonder why I think religion is a crock of shit.
Link Posted: 5/21/2001 10:37:31 PM EDT
[#38]
When we first met I was 185 pounds ( 6'1" )and in top shape, with a full head of hair.

She was 145 ( 5'9" ) and as good looking as today.

We started working out together and I went up to 245 - 250 pounds and a 6 % bodyfat.

She went down to 120 pounds.

After a couple of years with familly problems and trying to start our own business, buy our house, I remained at 250 pounds with a 30% bodyfat. She went up to 185.

Then once we had it figure out and decided that after 6 years of GF/BF we should marry we both lost weigth for the wedding. Once again I was down to 189 and she went down to 140.

After the honemoon we went on an eating spree. We both gained about 20 pounds. We joined a GYM and started to loose the weigth again. I decided to bulk up/ loose fat and a year after I am at a healthy 230 lbs with a 10% bodyfat. She is trying hard to loose but she hovers around 150 lbs.

The doctor says she has a bit too much testosterone but that everything else is normal.

My wife is sexy, she loves me I love her and know she wont become a huge NFL lineman. She always applies damage control by going to the Gym and eating healthy ( during weekdays )

If your wife is FAT get her to a GYM. If it is medical well, restrict her bad foods.

But the main mpoint is to LOVE HER and help her loose the weight for her own good.
Link Posted: 5/22/2001 12:45:12 AM EDT
[#39]
The best diet plan is for you to divorce her. She will then put that same effort into here next male aqquisition that she put into trapping you.

She will thin right down and hide the bitchy attitude untill she gets another rooster lured into the hen-house.
Link Posted: 5/22/2001 2:31:03 AM EDT
[#40]
Been Married 11 years, wife about 50 lbs heavier after my Son was born.  Every year that goes by the bitching increases, but I guess it's better than what Imbroglio goes through every day.  No insult intended Imbrog.
Link Posted: 5/22/2001 3:00:33 AM EDT
[#41]
My wife has gained 17 pounds in the 7 weeks we've been married. But I'm a load myself so I guess I have nothing to complain about.
Link Posted: 5/22/2001 3:16:57 AM EDT
[#42]
No man or woman really wants to wake up next to a whale. Unless she was fat when you married her/him. If looks are'nt important how come beautiful chicks like Cindy Crawford don't fall all over themselves trying to get to me? Answer,  because sexual attraction is important to long term relationship.

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect someone to at least make an effort.

Maybe by the time your in your's 60's, then ok what the hell, you both might as well let it all go. By then nobody's gonna want either one of you.
Link Posted: 5/22/2001 3:33:48 AM EDT
[#43]
Ah yes...

She gained weight, thinking of cheating on her, trying everything to get her to make her self look better.

Now that's what I call love.

What the fuck did you marry, her snatch or her heart?

Be a fuckin man and tell her exactly what you did marry and then do both yourselves and your kids if any a favor and divorce.

Marriage is not superficial, and if you're "seriously" thinking about cheating on your fucking wife because she doesn't look the way you want her too, then you shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.

The outside is what you look at, the inside is what you love.
View Quote


Gee! Frank.  I didn't know you got it in you.
Link Posted: 5/22/2001 4:08:38 AM EDT
[#44]
Frank is taking the moral high ground and, although he raises valid points and I agree with some of them, it's not that simple.  It's easy to sit here and proclaim marriage as a union of souls regardless of the physical side.  However, we fall in love with both halves of a woman, her physical and spiritual.  In the long run, the latter should pull you through problems with the former, but it's not as easy as Frank makes it out to be.

A significant change in weight in your spouse can cause significant stress (based on observation, not persaonal experience) and that can bleed into other problems (like stressors that where heretofore dealt with appropriately and/or suppressed).  The answer is not an affair or divorce, it starts with communication and the honest attempt at dealing with the problem.  

Yes it's shallow to focus solely on the physical attractiveness of your spouse, however, it's unrealistice to think that this aspect of your marriage is insignificant in relation to the spiritual side.  They are both significant and a kink in the armor of either can errode a marriage if not dealt with early.
Link Posted: 5/22/2001 4:21:07 AM EDT
[#45]
Simply use the golden rule that I use:

Never be with a woman who weighs more than you. Once this happens its time to say good bye!

Link Posted: 5/22/2001 6:27:23 AM EDT
[#46]
My ex gained the same, went from 125 to over 250 (the max on the scale).  The cause was depression and low self-esteem.  Unfortunately, I figured it out too late.  Even the marital counsellor (an MD) couldn't get her turned around.  She just got more and more angry and decided that I was the problem.  To this day she can't figure out why I moved out.  She thought waving knives was no big deal.

If you still want your marriage to work, you have to work together.  One person alone can't make it work.
Link Posted: 5/22/2001 6:55:33 AM EDT
[#47]
David Hineline!  I,ve seen it time and time again.
Link Posted: 5/22/2001 11:01:55 AM EDT
[#48]
What is wrong with you people? At least you have someone that loves you enough that they would be willing to put in an effort to make you happy. You know what is wrong with the country today? Unappreciative civilians. You know what is even worse? Unappreciative civilian goatee heads.
Link Posted: 5/22/2001 11:27:56 AM EDT
[#49]
[:)>]   [:)>]   [:)>]   [:)>]

[b]-RoadDog[/b]
Link Posted: 5/22/2001 12:41:29 PM EDT
[#50]
My wife gained a little weight after having two kids. I mentioned that she had gained a little weight. She said "you're no Arnold Schwartzenager Michael. You try having two kids and see what that does to you".
Well, we're both in our 40s and a little heavy.
No big deal anymore.
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