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Posted: 5/16/2001 5:39:22 PM EST
Link Posted: 5/16/2001 5:41:50 PM EST
Go trig boy, it`s your birthday.
Link Posted: 5/16/2001 5:41:54 PM EST
File it.
Link Posted: 5/16/2001 5:43:04 PM EST
WOW! and I thought I had problems.
Link Posted: 5/16/2001 5:45:20 PM EST
Mall....Ninja.....alllllriiiggghhhtttyyyy then!
Link Posted: 5/16/2001 5:48:32 PM EST
Link Posted: 5/16/2001 5:53:43 PM EST
Mall Ninjas are real. We have one down here. He is about 5'5", 120lbs, and looks like a typical average 17 year old black kid. His clothes don't fit and he wears a big black state trooper hat that is too big for his head and that he wears at about a 60 degree angle instead of level. He thinks he is a bad ass because he has a generic rent-a-cop "security" patch on his shoulder and carries a minimag flashlight and a radio shack walkie talkie. Some badass.
Link Posted: 5/16/2001 5:57:32 PM EST
Link Posted: 5/16/2001 6:22:06 PM EST
Link Posted: 5/16/2001 7:25:10 PM EST
Hey pal- I think you should just consider yourself lucky you made it out of that situation without getting an ass full of .300 Win mag and leave it at that.[:D]
Link Posted: 5/16/2001 7:47:53 PM EST
While walking through the mall once I accidently discovered that my tennis shoes made a squeaky sound on the floor. Hey......I liked the sound so I did it a few times. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAA!. The mall ninjas stormed in on me and told me that I'd have to stop doing that. I said What?............This?.........S Q U E A KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. They saud yeah that. Stop or your gonna have to leave. I looked all around me at the loud, obnoxious, out of control non-racially diverse group of hoods and said "You mean to tell me that you have nothing better to do tonight than harrass me for squeaking my shoes while all this crap is going on around you? Fewer of me than you huh? I walked off and they just stood there. Idiots.
Link Posted: 5/16/2001 7:52:25 PM EST
Rent-a-cops! I HATE rent-a-cops!
Link Posted: 5/16/2001 8:08:30 PM EST
New Rock Mall in New Rochelle, NY? If that's the one you're talking about, Jesus Christ in a DUMP TRUCK! Surely they have more problems keeping the native population in line at that place than they do about a "dress code" etticut! Even though you are a grown man and I would giggle at you like a schoolgirl if I saw you wearing a baseball cap backwards (unless shooting, or lookin up a periscope or something...) no friggin mall ninja has the right to tell you anything, least of all a dress code! "hat rule"! Ha! Let's open our own mall with a "no moron" rule, yeah, we'd probably be bankrupt in a week. FILE THAT COMPLAINT!!!!!!!!!!!! SAMHAIN44
Link Posted: 5/16/2001 8:15:45 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/16/2001 8:15:22 PM EST by prk]
[b]Gecko45, Gecko45,[/b][i] mallninja wannabe, come on...
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 5:56:26 AM EST
Mall ninjas aren't just in malls. Once when I was a kid, Iwas walking home from wherever, and I decided to take my usual shortcut through the apartment complex. Hell, it knocked about a half-hour off the walk. Well, as I was walking, I noticed a pair of headlights slowly coming up from behind. I knew it was a security guard by his skillful stalking tactics (yeah, right!) When I turned the corner, I ran my a$$ off towards the woods, where my cut-through was. When that car turned the same corner, he lit 'em up! I mean full bore, tires squeelin' and everything! Well, I was starting down the hill into the woods, when I hear him come to a screeching halt. I hear the door fly open and a voice yell "Stop, I'll shoot!" Holy crap!!! I ran right THROUGH a large shrub, and flew all the way home! I didn't want to get shot for doing nothing at all! Notice that his big fat a$$ didn't follow me into the bush! What retards! I guess I was technically trespassing, but EVERYBODY I knew used that shortcut. Big deal! Nothin' better to do, I guess. I think if I didn't run, he probably would've run me over in his overzealous security tactics.
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 6:09:06 AM EST
Here in Phoenix, a Mall Ninja wannabe was recently arrested for lighting off something like 24 arsons in the downtown area. He was always walking around with scanners, two-way radios, mag-lites, etc., and claiming that he was "undercover" Phoenix PD. Pretty funny since he is only 18. Now he's trying to prove that he's incompetent to stand trial.... -Andy "Can you describe the suspect?" "Um, it was some guy in a hat...."
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 6:09:26 AM EST
They're right, though. You really should wear your hat properly.
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 6:10:54 AM EST
Originally Posted By Major Murphy: They're right, though. You really should wear your hat properly.
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Who says? Why should he listen to their opinion or yours?
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 6:19:09 AM EST
gotcha.
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 6:24:22 AM EST
Mall ninjas aren't just in malls
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that is for sure. one time, at my friends apartment complex.... late one evening we were throwing a football back and forth when some apartment security ninja approached to make us stop cuz we were too noisy. meanwhile, 10 steps away the neighbor was having a party on their balcony. (10 times louder) ...brain dead.
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 8:49:58 AM EST
ALL YOUR MALL NINJAS ARE BELONG TO ahh who cares
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 4:15:55 PM EST
I am a security professional in a major retail shopping mall and I have encountered many patrons doing these same type of things. People have to understand that proper dress code and squeaking tennies are nothing to take lightly. Although starting as only a small lack of civility, these incidents tend to lead to bigger acts of disobedience. A rule is a rule. Break them in my mall and you will get hammered, I can promise you that.
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 4:24:54 PM EST
Originally Posted By Major Murphy: gotcha.
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You're a baaaad boy... [;)]
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 5:01:56 PM EST
Originally Posted By SpecialForces: A rule is a rule. Break them in my mall and you will get hammered, I can promise you that.
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BWWWAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 5:08:19 PM EST
You are obviously one of those who have a problem with authority. Perfect example...
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 5:10:14 PM EST
Originally Posted By critter_FR:
Originally Posted By SpecialForces: A rule is a rule. Break them in my mall and you will get hammered, I can promise you that.
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BWWWAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
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What are you laughing at? This attitude represents the tenet of zero tolerance to a "T", and if you try any of this swearing when I'm trying to make you obey the rules, I won't turn your hat around, I'll just twist your head around until your hat is straight again. People won't be able to talk about you behind your back anymore, and you won't be pulling any of this "get lost, i'll wear my hat any way i wanna," stuff, or you'll be having a conversation with my boot, the floor and the cuffs. Have some respect for our brother in arms, Special Forces, or else. Gecko45
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 5:13:25 PM EST
Write a generic letter describing the event and send copies to the major store managers, stating that you will no longer shop in their stores. Believeme, mgmt.s phone will be ringing off the desk by 10 AM.........
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 5:18:56 PM EST
Originally Posted By paspecops: Write a generic letter describing the event and send copies to the major store managers, stating that you will no longer shop in their stores. Believeme, mgmt.s phone will be ringing off the desk by 10 AM.........
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Right...My staff has the full cooperation of the store managers. The managers are glad we are here to sort out the riff-raff. It is usually the punks with their hats on backwards that are causing trouble and/or shoplifting. It is one thing I was taught to look for during my extensive loss prevention training.
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 5:20:46 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/17/2001 5:19:50 PM EST by SpecialForces]
Originally Posted By Gecko45: What are you laughing at? This attitude represents the tenet of zero tolerance to a "T", and if you try any of this swearing when I'm trying to make you obey the rules, I won't turn your hat around, I'll just twist your head around until your hat is straight again. People won't be able to talk about you behind your back anymore, and you won't be pulling any of this "get lost, i'll wear my hat any way i wanna," stuff, or you'll be having a conversation with my boot, the floor and the cuffs. Have some respect for our brother in arms, Special Forces, or else. Gecko45
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Gecko, thank you brother. I could not have said it any better.
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 5:24:43 PM EST
HA! backwards baseball caps is so 1990'ish.[BD]
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 5:25:31 PM EST
Originally Posted By Gecko45: What are you laughing at? This attitude represents the tenet of zero tolerance to a "T", and if you try any of this swearing when I'm trying to make you obey the rules, I won't turn your hat around, I'll just twist your head around until your hat is straight again. People won't be able to talk about you behind your back anymore, and you won't be pulling any of this "get lost, i'll wear my hat any way i wanna," stuff, or you'll be having a conversation with my boot, the floor and the cuffs. Have some respect for our brother in arms, Special Forces, or else. Gecko45
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[size=6]Oh Yeah?![/size=6]
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 5:27:50 PM EST
I got your ninja shoes hanging. Brother. I regularly break into malls at night and sneak around, just to piss you guys off. I am the one who makes noises when you are making your rounds. I am the shadow that flits by the corner of yer eye. Behold the mall ninja tamer.
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 5:36:14 PM EST
Originally Posted By Rich314: I got your ninja shoes hanging. Brother. I regularly break into malls at night and sneak around, just to piss you guys off. I am the one who makes noises when you are making your rounds. I am the shadow that flits by the corner of yer eye. Behold the mall ninja tamer.
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Sneaking into my mall at night wouldn't piss me off at all. I would be glad to find you loitering after hours in the mall. I would simply steer you to the door by your pigtails and bid you farewell. No problem. I have had to do this on several occasions.
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 5:40:49 PM EST
Originally Posted By SpecialForces:
Originally Posted By Rich314: I got your ninja shoes hanging. Brother. I regularly break into malls at night and sneak around, just to piss you guys off. I am the one who makes noises when you are making your rounds. I am the shadow that flits by the corner of yer eye. Behold the mall ninja tamer.
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Sneaking into my mall at night wouldn't piss me off at all. I would be glad to find you loitering after hours in the mall. I would simply steer you to the door by your pigtails and bid you farewell. No problem. I have had to do this on several occasions.
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I'd feel I had to take a pot shot at you first, Mr-subliminal-use of-the-word flit. Don't think I don't know what you were trying to say, you're getting your jollies snaekin around proffesionals, and wishing you were one of us. You guys provide excerize, that's for sure, but not much in the way of challenge, mall stalkers never do. Chemical imbalance in the brain makes you act this way, so it's not really fair to shoot you, but hey, our mall... Gecko45
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 6:12:37 PM EST
When I`m in the mall , I go into the doors that say "employees only" I lurk in the access hallways and fart in the elevator. I put sugar in the salt shakers at Bobs Big Boy. I remove the mattress tags at Bed City. I mix up the alphabetical order of CD`s in the music stores. I leave the seat up in the bathroom stalls I put vaseline on the door knobs I put gum in the escalator And I make really nasty faces at you while you check your gut in the reflection of the store windows. When you think no one is watching and you examine a particulary crusty bugger, I am saying 'eeeewwww'. I post handbills on the sign that says post no bills. I am the one that unplugs the electric assault golf cart right after you plug it in for a recharge. I spit gum on the mall floor I mix up the shoe sizes at Shoe City and missmatch them I take pics of thirty eight yr old managers doing the nasty with 17 yr old girls at the Lemonade/hotdog on a stick place. I drill a hole in the roof right over the escalator, for rain
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 6:22:03 PM EST
Originally Posted By Rich314: When I`m in the mall , I go into the doors that say "employees only" I lurk in the access hallways and fart in the elevator. I put sugar in the salt shakers at Bobs Big Boy. I remove the mattress tags at Bed City. I mix up the alphabetical order of CD`s in the music stores. I leave the seat up in the bathroom stalls I put vaseline on the door knobs I put gum in the escalator And I make really nasty faces at you while you check your gut in the reflection of the store windows. When you think no one is watching and you examine a particulary crusty bugger, I am saying 'eeeewwww'. I post handbills on the sign that says post no bills. I am the one that unplugs the electric assault golf cart right after you plug it in for a recharge. I spit gum on the mall floor I mix up the shoe sizes at Shoe City and missmatch them I take pics of thirty eight yr old managers doing the nasty with 17 yr old girls at the Lemonade/hotdog on a stick place. I drill a hole in the roof right over the escalator, for rain
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So yuo're an immature snoopp? That really scares me. Gecko45
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 6:29:46 PM EST
Originally Posted By SpecialForces: Sneaking into my mall at night wouldn't piss me off at all. I would be glad to find you loitering after hours in the mall. I would simply steer you to the door by your pigtails and bid you farewell. No problem. I have had to do this on several occasions.
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SpecialForces... Just what mall, er... fine retail establishment do you "protect" in TN?
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 7:20:48 PM EST
Originally Posted By RikWriter: Who says? Why should he listen to their opinion or yours?
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The same could be asked of you.
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 8:00:23 PM EST
"Don't let that plastic badge earn you an early grave"[BD]
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 8:01:06 PM EST
"Don't let that plastic badge earn you an early grave"[BD]
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 8:08:33 PM EST
Originally Posted By TheMongoose: "Don't let that plastic badge earn you an early grave"[BD]
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Early grave? Who are YOU? I am a professionally trained security agent who doesn't take threats lightly. If you talked that smack in my mall, I would take you down fast and shine my shoes with you.
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 8:11:15 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/17/2001 8:12:40 PM EST by Gloftoe]
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 8:20:08 PM EST
Originally Posted By Gloftoe: ...You can be my ammo-b!tch.
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I love this board... You guys are a f*&$in' riot!!!
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 8:30:36 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/17/2001 8:31:59 PM EST by SpecialForces]
I am by no means a "rent a cop." I see far more action than your average cop. I do all the work taking these punks down and then the cops come haul them off and they get all the credit. Then you get some ungrateful turd complaining about "mall cops" and threatening to call his lawyer. What sissy $@#%. We are here kicking #@$ for YOU. And, I have you know, I make a damn good living doing what I do. My buddy (who is a cop) makes way less than I do. He had to jack the dog off to feed the cat last night.
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 8:35:47 PM EST
Originally Posted By SpecialForces: He had to jack the dog off to feed the cat last night.
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Oh come on that's the oldest cop trick in the book
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 8:37:04 PM EST
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 8:39:02 PM EST
LOL! I think some people are taking this seriously!
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 8:48:31 PM EST
Now, now... Let's be politaclly correct here. They are no longer malls, they are "Multi Purpose Retail Venues" and they are not rent-a-cops they are "Assets Protection Agents". Of course I weork for a major retailer and our private "Assets Protection Staff" is really cool. Of course they are well aware that they are only there for the impact of their presence and that they have "NO REAL AUTHORITY" In fact we have discussed the fact that even if they see you take something off the shelf and out the door, they "CAN NOT STOP YOU" Only our UC staff, who have been licensed by the local police can even detain you and they have to call the police as soon as they enter the security office. I have know many "Rent-A-Cops" who fit the discription, and I have know a few good security professionals and the 2 mall ninjas in this thread fit the prior. I was at one of the bigger malls in the area a few months ago and found it very funny and also disturbing to have noticed the bank of TVs that show what the security cameras are watching and to my amazement the controllable acmera was moving from woman to woman checking out close ups down the blouse and on the ass. This is the essence of a "Rent-A-Cop".
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 8:49:24 PM EST
Originally Posted By Gloftoe: I have no need to bother with someone who thinks that he's "taking these punks down" and doing some kind of service to the world. Get a real job. Rent-A-Cop. -Gloftoe
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You just better be glad I'm there when the SHTF at the mall, my friend. Despite being ridiculed by you, I will still protect you because that is my job and I take my job very seriously. The fact is, I am trained and you are not. Just stay out of the way and do what you are told when you come to my mall and everything will work smoothly. If you don't like our policy, then simply go to a different mall. I don't make the rules here, I only enforce them.
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 9:02:30 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/17/2001 9:06:28 PM EST by prk]
There is a cascade of this counterculture deviancy, and it starts at a young age, forming a predictable pattern. While they're out shopping, junior gets a little ripe in his training pants because momma or da-da is a little too tired or busy talking on the cell phone. So they stay on when they should be changed. Once the young victim is habituated to shuffling through the mall in wet or soiled underwear, it's easy to become indifferent to that loose shoelace, or even the idea that they should be tied appropriately at all. Soon he or she discovers that this is a good way to attract attention from society, reveling in any frown or shaking of the head that they can provoke. Shirtails hanging out are another typical manifestation of this delinquent attitude. From there, the hat reversal is a natural progression of "attitude". Leaving the price tag on is another way to attract attention. Next it's the jacket hanging off the shoulders, depending only on the forearm for support. By this time serious problems have arisen in the young perp's attitude to Other People's Property. In their disfunctional reasoning, if they can get away with it, they think it's OK. Am I right, Gecko & SpecialForces? Folks, we've got to hold the line on this. Because next, if they're not broken, they go on to those baggy pants that are many sizes too big and have to be constantly held with one hand or suspenders or some secret homey trick that keeps them halfway down their a**. Who knows how many millions in unpaid merchandise has gone out the doors this way. Then they progress to things like multiple piercing of body parts that shouldn't be exposed in the first place, tatoos both visible and in unspeakable places. By that time they are lost and can serve no functional purpose in respectable society, except perhaps to say "you want fries with that?" Hence the need for the security elite who are more on top of things than the police. We require their 24/7 "condition red" alertness and response capability, to keep these felons of the future in line while they're still in their formative years. It may take a village to raise a child (into a mind-numbed liberal drone), but it takes a Mall Ninja to (cattle) prod that child into a compliant and productive subject. [red][size=4]PRK
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 9:15:09 PM EST
"....The fact is, I am trained and you are not. Just stay out of the way and do what you are told when you come to my mall and everything will work smoothly. If you don't like our policy, then simply go to a different mall. I don't make the rules here, I only enforce them." -SpecialForces --------oOo--------- jeesus h. keeryst, do you have a whopper of an imagination mr. specialforces!! exactly what kind of training did you go through? im just simply amazed, humbled, and entertained by your b.s. admit it pal, youre mall security. you got a small weiner and a big imagination (not to mention a bigger mouth). you come to Vermont and try that crap youre talking about. we all carry guns here. try to touch someone, or in your own words, "hammer" someone for breaking SHOPPING mall rules and i'd hate to see the results. you pathetic little putz........get a life you jerkoff.
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