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Posted: 6/26/2017 9:31:38 PM EDT
The police at weddings thread reminded me of a weeding i went to back in Boston.

The wedding was my uncle and his new wife, a lady I knew for years. The wife had kids from her previous marriage who grew up in a poorer part of Boston, and liked to fight (common in Boston ).
Also at the wedding was some Russia guy, whom i had not seen before.
Im not sure of the cause, but all of a sudden there is a argument/fight about to break out between this guy and the younger son (early 20's).
I was thinking about choking the guy out from behind, when out of the corner of my eye I see the older son (late 20's ~6'4/ 215) come running in from the side.
I was expecting a punch, instead he jumped and kicked the guy with a flying double side kick, right in the chest.
The guy not expecting it (who was? )
went right down, his head impacting the pavement with a sound similar to a pumpkin smashing.
I thought for sure we has dead, blood starts coming out his ears/seizing/etc. And the son takes off.
Apparently there was a cop there that called 911 and the ambulance came.
Im not sure of the outcome in either case but I remember people telling the cops he "fell" and i know the guy didn't die.
Either way note to self, flying double sidekicks are no joke...
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 9:32:53 PM EDT
[#1]
I am remarkably skilled at avoiding weddings in a gentlemanly way.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 9:33:20 PM EDT
[#2]
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 9:33:49 PM EDT
[#3]
My BIL raffled off a 1911 and an AR15 at his own wedding.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 9:34:25 PM EDT
[#4]
My drunken sister came with her recently separated husband and processed to windmill the shit out of him at my reception in front of all of our friends and family and coworkers
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 9:34:27 PM EDT
[#5]
Me.  Saying something along the lines of "I do".
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 9:35:45 PM EDT
[#6]
I commented with a little story in that thread. That was a crazy night!
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 9:36:40 PM EDT
[#7]
Friend's much pregnant mistress showed up at his wedding.....
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 9:41:54 PM EDT
[#8]
About 15 years ago, my wife's best friend's older sister got married to this dirt bag. I was a little surprised we were invited, because said dirt bag hit on my wife-before we were together-and when she told his fiance she said she was a liar.

Anyways, the ceremony was awful. Michigan August, so humid and hot as fuck, and the church had no air conditioning. When it was time for the groom and his bride to leave the ceremony and head off to the Polish hall where the reception was to be held, they did so in a massive bro-ed up Dodge pick up with beer cans hanging off of the back. They tossed their own drinks from the windows, then did a burnout in a gravel parking lot, spraying the bride's family-including great grandparents-with rocks.

Later, at the awful, awful ceremony, the new couple did dollar dances, in the middle of which the groom decided liberties were being taken with his lady, and so he punched a man square in the face as he danced with his wife. Blood sprayed, ruining the dress, the two got in a knock down brawl that ranks up there in the top three best fights I've ever seen, and then the man fled off down the road with the groom and bride chasing after him. I watched the whole thing from the bar and wound up using the pitcher of Miller that I'd purchased as a personal mug as I watched the debacle.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 9:47:14 PM EDT
[#9]
Lots of alcohol and the groom passed out.

 Bride went home with another guy.  Marriage didn't last long.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 9:48:02 PM EDT
[#10]
One wedding:  Groom punched his mom in the throat, bridesmaid flashed the entire dance floor.

Another wedding:  Bride's aunt was wearing a very low-cut top that made her look pregnant.  When she went to get (yet) another drink from the bar, one of the sheriff's deputies asked her if she should be drinking while she was pregnant.  HOLY SHIT.  She went from 0 to WHITE TRASH in nothing flat.  Cussing, yelling, trying to fight the deputy.  Her family dragged her off while another deputy and I laughed our asses off.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 9:50:42 PM EDT
[#11]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
About 15 years ago, my wife's best friend's older sister got married to this dirt bag. I was a little surprised we were invited, because said dirt bag hit on my wife-before we were together-and when she told his fiance she said she was a liar.

Anyways, the ceremony was awful. Michigan August, so humid and hot as fuck, and the church had no air conditioning. When it was time for the groom and his bride to leave the ceremony and head off to the Polish hall where the reception was to be held, they did so in a massive bro-ed up Dodge pick up with beer cans hanging off of the back. They tossed their own drinks from the windows, then did a burnout in a gravel parking lot, spraying the bride's family-including great grandparents-with rocks.

Later, at the awful, awful ceremony, the new couple did dollar dances, in the middle of which the groom decided liberties were being taken with his lady, and so he punched a man square in the face as he danced with his wife. Blood sprayed, ruining the dress, the two got in a knock down brawl that ranks up there in the top three best fights I've ever seen, and then the man fled off down the road with the groom and bride chasing after him. I watched the whole thing from the bar and wound up using the pitcher of Miller that I'd purchased as a personal mug as I watched the debacle.
View Quote
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 9:51:40 PM EDT
[#12]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
One wedding:  Groom punched his mom in the throat, bridesmaid flashed the entire dance floor.

Another wedding:  Bride's aunt was wearing a very low-cut top that made her look pregnant.  When she went to get (yet) another drink from the bar, one of the sheriff's deputies asked her if she should be drinking while she was pregnant.  HOLY SHIT.  She went from 0 to WHITE TRASH in nothing flat.  Cussing, yelling, trying to fight the deputy.  Her family dragged her off while another deputy and I laughed our asses off.
View Quote
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 9:53:06 PM EDT
[#13]
A few years a member sent a video around of some black dude fucking a white chick in the bathroom at a wedding.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 9:53:58 PM EDT
[#14]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
A few years a member sent a video around of some black dude fucking a white chick in the bathroom at a wedding.
View Quote
Any chance that made it to xhamster?
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 9:56:51 PM EDT
[#15]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
About 15 years ago, my wife's best friend's older sister got married to this dirt bag. I was a little surprised we were invited, because said dirt bag hit on my wife-before we were together-and when she told his fiance she said she was a liar.

Anyways, the ceremony was awful. Michigan August, so humid and hot as fuck, and the church had no air conditioning. When it was time for the groom and his bride to leave the ceremony and head off to the Polish hall where the reception was to be held, they did so in a massive bro-ed up Dodge pick up with beer cans hanging off of the back. They tossed their own drinks from the windows, then did a burnout in a gravel parking lot, spraying the bride's family-including great grandparents-with rocks.

Later, at the awful, awful ceremony, the new couple did dollar dances, in the middle of which the groom decided liberties were being taken with his lady, and so he punched a man square in the face as he danced with his wife. Blood sprayed, ruining the dress, the two got in a knock down brawl that ranks up there in the top three best fights I've ever seen, and then the man fled off down the road with the groom and bride chasing after him. I watched the whole thing from the bar and wound up using the pitcher of Miller that I'd purchased as a personal mug as I watched the debacle.
View Quote
Okay, you win.  Mine was the totally drunk groom and groomsmen that held each other up through the ceremony followed with the bride holding the groom up as he stumbled down the aisle only to collapse outside in the garden passing out after puking. 
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 9:58:01 PM EDT
[#16]
A dozen kegs, a table full of patron bottles, shitloads of guns, some kinds of drugs, and the cops.

I was moving out when the brawl went down, and as I was leaving the driveway, half a dozen squad cars rolled in with more on the way.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 9:58:25 PM EDT
[#17]
I want to go to some of the weddings y'all attend. I know to many normal folks it appears...... anyways carry on.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 9:59:16 PM EDT
[#18]
Not horribly crazy (seen a lot of drunken stupidity) but at one wedding I went to the reception was at a local fire hall (pretty normal here).  

Bride and groom were getting ready for their first toast and the folks running the joint carded them.  Neither had their ID on them and the staff refused to serve them alcohol until I believe the entire wedding party plus the guests were ready to take them out.  Apparently they had been burned in the past but still, these were clearly two adults over the age of 21 and they just got freaking married.  Soon the alcohol flowed and all was well.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 9:59:28 PM EDT
[#19]
Fist fights at the reception.  Bridesmaids fighting.  General drunkenness and shenanigans.

My sisters best friend gave me a blow job in a vacant room at her reception.

That's all I have.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 10:00:27 PM EDT
[#20]
Saw one of my wifes bridemaids completely naked by mistake. My niece was 6 and ripped a small hole in her flowergirl dress and the parents and left to put up the direction signs, so one of the girls called me and asked to reassure my niece it's okay. The bridesmaid didn't know I was in the room and came out of the shower naked.

Funnily, it wasn't the first time, or even the 2nd, that I've seen this particular girl naked. First was in college days, she got hammered at our house and spilled a bunch of vodka on herself, my wife asked me to help take her clothes off so she can wash them. 2nd was spider in the shower at our house, and she figured I had already seen it so it was it it was.

I sort of have an odd relationship with that group of friends.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 10:12:17 PM EDT
[#21]
In another life I was a manager of a city building that had a reception hall for rent. Renting the hall and serving alcohol required renting a police office, thank god.

It was my duty to remind everyone of last call.

One groom didn't like that I started reminding people of last call, and he and the groomsmen tried to stand around a keg on a dolly and chug it. I wasn't going to deal with this so I gathered his family and told them I wasn't going ask, next time the police officer was coming in because the time limit on their temporary liquor license had expired.

I went to grab the officer and the groom's mother and bride went to talk to him and his boys. When they approached it got loud. He pushed his mom to the floor and punched his bride. Chaos broke out right as the officer walked in. The officer asked me who to arrest first and I said the groom, and pointed at him as he ran out the door.

The building was right behind the city's police station so the officer got on his radio. The groom was stopped in the parking lot, he was in a car already driving. He got hauled away for a TON of charges including a DUI. On his wedding night. All of the paperwork and clean-up from that led to overtime for the week so I didn't complain.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 10:13:39 PM EDT
[#22]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Fist fights at the reception.  Bridesmaids fighting.  General drunkenness and shenanigans.

My sisters best friend gave me a blow job in a vacant room at her reception.

That's all I have.
View Quote
So whose reception was this exactly?
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 10:18:29 PM EDT
[#23]
I've told this one before, but it's the only one I have.  

When the minister asked the traditional "If anyone here knows a reason why ..." question, a voice came from rear of the sanctuary: "I do."   We turned to see a very young, very pregnant woman who said, "You'll be hearing from my lawyer, Bobby", then turned and walked out.   After a long pause, the bride said, "You may continue" to the minister, and the ceremony went on.

The reception was a pretty subdued affair.  The bride's baby brother had played some college ball and a couple of weeks later, the groom "tripped and fell down a flight of stairs".

And life went on.

ETA:  I forgot: not at the wedding proper, but I went to a reception in a picnic shelter next to a slow-moving, muddy little river in Alabama.  They had a pig, slaw, potato chips and a couple or three kegs of beer.

The bride got drunk and jumped in the river in a thousand dollar wedding dress back when a thousand dollar wedding dress was kind of a thing, at least in Montgomery.   Not to be outdone, all the bridesmaids did likewise.  Why none of them got snakebit is a mystery, that river had to be full of cottonmouths.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 10:22:12 PM EDT
[#24]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Lots of alcohol and the groom passed out.

 Bride went home with another guy.  Marriage didn't last long.
View Quote
I don't believe you. No one is that stupid or classless. At least wait until a week into the marriage.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 10:24:07 PM EDT
[#25]
Saw a ring bearer puke, splashed all over the bride, and then he dropped the pillow and ring in the pool of puke.

Also saw a groomsman lock up his knees, pass out, and over like felled tree.


Good times.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 10:34:56 PM EDT
[#26]
Tag for later when I have a good keyboard to tell the story.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 10:37:49 PM EDT
[#27]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I am remarkably skilled at avoiding weddings in a gentlemanly way.
View Quote
Why does every mother fuckin bride and groom expect groomsmen/bridesmaid to spend $500+ just to go to their wedding? When the fuck did that shit become standard?
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 10:41:20 PM EDT
[#28]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Friend's much pregnant mistress showed up at his wedding.....
View Quote
Wow.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 10:42:38 PM EDT
[#29]
Conga Line. On the tables, out the door...
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 10:43:23 PM EDT
[#30]
Went to my cousins outdoor/lakeside wedding in Texas two summers ago.  The brides dad just had major surgery but decided he wanted to start drinking at the butt crack of dawn the day of the wedding. As he was waiting on the bride he starts looking a bit grey and tired. I noticed that he was bleeding out from his surgical incisions. He managed to get her down the isle but was wished away to the ER right after. Pretty sure he didn't get the deposit back for the tux rental.

Last summer I sat next near Barney Frank as his niece got married. She did NOT get her looks from the Frank side of the family thank god.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 10:50:52 PM EDT
[#31]
A friend's new bride trying to make out with me when we danced at the reception... in front of my friend's parents no less.

I bailed immediately. Needless to say the marriage was short lived.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 10:52:19 PM EDT
[#32]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


Any chance that made it to xhamster?
View Quote
Wasn't that great of a porn but it was funny.  IIRC, the OP was in the stall next to them and just recorded his feet and the moans
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 10:58:43 PM EDT
[#33]
A lesbian national guard wedding, where a SGM officiated, the BN command team had their own table at the reception.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 11:02:25 PM EDT
[#34]
My wife threw the bartender out of the open bar and served up shots of tequila herself to her parents, my parents everyone, and called for toasts. I don't think my mom touched tequila before or since.  Wife was lit.  She doesn't remember much from our wedding reception.

Oh, and her shoes hurt her feet, so at the reception she had me fetch her nice broken-in ruckmarching pair of boots from the car (I have no idea why they were in the car, she is just kinky like that).  And she wore them for the reception, danced the night away in her Army boots.

That is pretty tame.  I live a boring life.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 11:16:52 PM EDT
[#35]
I once attended a wedding, and while going through the lines shaking hands with the bride and groom, the brother of the bride sent a right cross to the groom's chin and nearly knocked him out. His best man bowed up and the brother's wife sent him to the floor. Good times...they're still married 10 years later, despite him bankrupting them twice and having multiple affairs...but thats none of my business.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 11:18:40 PM EDT
[#36]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


Why does every mother fuckin bride and groom expect groomsmen/bridesmaid to spend $500+ just to go to their wedding? When the fuck did that shit become standard?
View Quote
Attachment Attached File
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 11:19:23 PM EDT
[#37]
Halfway through the ceremony the bride farted very loudly and then passed out.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 11:22:38 PM EDT
[#38]
My wife officiated her youngest sisters wedding she will officiate her next youngest sisters next month.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 11:25:32 PM EDT
[#39]
I was at a wedding where an off duty police officer was a groomsman, got drunk, beefed with his ex's boyfriend, pulled out his glock and stuffed it in said dudes face, got tackled by the wedding party, (disarmed by a drunk mechanic) without a discharge (his finger was on the trigger) then was arrested when someone called and the entire country club was mobbed by local PD
Top that.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 11:28:42 PM EDT
[#40]
Heart attack.

No idea who the guy was.  I barely knew the couple that just got married.  A rather large man dropped dead walking to the shitter after dancing.  Apparently the family of the couple didn't know him well either because after the ambulance took him away a few people left crying to go to the hospital but a majority stayed and the party carried on.

I didn't see him drop but my wife(then gf) did.  She came running over and grabbed me, dragging me to the body yelling "Watch out!  Towely's an EMT!"

I was pretty drunk already.  I just remember someone saying "I think he's drunk!" while I was checking for a pulse.  I looked up very and very casually replied "No....no he's dead..." and started chest compressions.  To this day I don't know if she meant the guy on the floor was drunk or that I was drunk and probably shouldn't be running the show at that point in time.

They couldn't find an AED till after the ambulance had already shown up(no clue where they found it or why the hall even had one...well I suppose for instances like this).  He didn't make it.  I drank free all night.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 11:30:12 PM EDT
[#41]
Either way note to self, flying double sidekicks are no joke...
View Quote
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 11:32:35 PM EDT
[#42]
Was at a wedding in Baghdad, at a park on the Tigris behind the palestine hotel, a lot of 'happy fire' and a lengthy line dance with their women letting their hair down
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 11:36:41 PM EDT
[#43]
my super nerdy and very religious brother in law pretty much dry humping his wife when he was told "you may kiss the bride"


he went for it BIG TIME,  it was unexpected, then funny, then uncomfortable, then weird, then I thought I was gonna have to get a bucket of cold water.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 11:40:44 PM EDT
[#44]
Bride showed up with a big hickey on her tit from not the groom.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 11:46:58 PM EDT
[#45]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Fist fights at the reception.  Bridesmaids fighting.  General drunkenness and shenanigans.

My sisters best friend gave me a blow job in a vacant room at her reception.

That's all I have.
View Quote
Your sister's friend blew you at her wedding? That's awesome. First time?
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 11:49:30 PM EDT
[#46]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
One wedding:  Groom punched his mom in the throat, bridesmaid flashed the entire dance floor.

Another wedding:  Bride's aunt was wearing a very low-cut top that made her look pregnant.  When she went to get (yet) another drink from the bar, one of the sheriff's deputies asked her if she should be drinking while she was pregnant.  HOLY SHIT.  She went from 0 to WHITE TRASH in nothing flat.  Cussing, yelling, trying to fight the deputy.  Her family dragged her off while another deputy and I laughed our asses off.
View Quote
Man you never.. ever.. ever.. assume a woman is pregnant unless her water breaks right in front of you... and even with that I wouldn't risk it.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 11:49:51 PM EDT
[#47]
Not at the wedding but a guy that was in my fraternity in college married this absolutely beautiful Mississippi Delta girl. Sweet, beautiful, funny, etc. They go on their honeymoon and apparebtly he catches the gay and he ends up leaving her on the honeymoon and flying home.

ETA: I'm not sure whatever happened to that guy...
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 11:52:34 PM EDT
[#48]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
My wife officiated her youngest sisters wedding she will officiate her next youngest sisters next month.
View Quote
Officiated? How do they decide who is home and away?
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 11:54:05 PM EDT
[#49]
II saved my friend Jimmy from drowning at the yacht club for another friends second wedding.  He went out on a pier to take a leak and was so drunk, he fell in.  I just happened to notice he had wandered off so I followed him and found him splashing around under the big boats.  It was freezing in January and the last time I saw him, he was naked in his car with his clothes on the hood driving away.
Link Posted: 6/26/2017 11:54:34 PM EDT
[#50]
...
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