Today it was at the grocery store.  Only needed a few items maybe 10 or so.  A young (attractive) woman in front of me had about the same.  This looked easy because we didn't have big cart loads and there was only 1 customer in front of her.  The 2 other cashiers were loaded up with the big cart family types and looked like it might be a while for them.  I saw that the woman went into what looked like the shortest line without a lot of merchandise so easy peasy right? I will admit that I might have also chpsen that line because she was quite attractive and looked great in yoga pants.  Still, it was the shortest line by far.  What neither of us was prepared for however, was an apparently inept shopping family and an incompetent cashier.  The cashier kept ringing things up wrong and had to fix those and then the mom and dad (customers) would take that opportunity to send their young son back into the store to buy other things they'd forgot...one of which was batteries (9v).  The son came back and the cashier rang that up and then said to the dad "are you sure you want these, they are expensive and we have better and cheaper ones".  The dad of course says no he wanted Everready and handed them back to his kid and sent him back into the store to get those instead.  

Meanwhile mom is monitoring everything being cashed through and I noticed she whipped out a big old handful of coupons from her purse towards what I thought would be the end. It was nowhere near the end of that transaction. Some of those coupons were expired and it was just a constant back and forth.  Attractive lady right behind them seemed kind of non chalant (though I could tell she was a little annoyed) but she stayed occupied at the time by texting on her phone. Meanwhile I'm watching the other two large lanes I should have gone to drain to nothing but I was already committed and couldn't switch. All my stuff was already on the conveyor. But I did seriously consider regrouping and moving.

It wasn't all bad in this case because it was a Saturday and I really wasn't in a rush and plus I got to look at a very attractive and well built young female in yoga pants the whole time but still.  If you go to the line I expect people to at least be cognizent of the fact that there are people behind you that you may be holding up and to at least acknowledge that if you are.  This family did not in anyway and in fact seemed content to just dicker around with the cashier the whole time oblivious to the fact that anybody else was behind them waiting.

Am I the only one that seems to find themselves in this situation more often than not?

Speaking of long things to get through...

Science

It's actually pretty efficient when everyone waits in the same line and goes to the next available register. That way if they have a hang up it's only affecting that one person and not those behind her.

Nope, I got held up in line texting this pretty young thing i met on Facebook (she lives in Ohio) about her being stuck between a slow rude family and a creeper in her line..... 

FPNI like a mofo. Didn't even try to read all that.

I have the same problem.

Happens to me pretty often. I also love when the store has 87 registers, but only 4 are open.

All that time in line and no chance to snap a pic of the yoga pants? Big fucking fail. Off with your head.

LOL. Point taken. FPNI again

I'll always get stuck behind a person who spends five minutes writing calligraphy on their personal check, or some dumb fuck millennial who doesn't remember the pin number for her mom's debit card, probably because her mother just cut her off.

I don't look at just the length of the line when I pick one.  I also factor in how much shit is in the carts before I make a wag and get in line.

I have that curse too.  If I have a choice between 2 lines, I always pick the one that takes forever/the customer has some problem the clerk doesn't know how to fix.

Got to look at the cashier too. You can see which ones hqve the slow shoes on.

when you figure it out let me know, also cursed

The Amazon model of "shop and walk right the fuck out" can't come soon enough. With modern RFID technology, cashiers should already be a thing of the past.

Other than not getting in a line with old women in it, I make an assessment of other demographics, both with the cashier and customers. And...that's as far as I'm gonna go with that.

Now that would be be the arfcom thing to do right?  But I knew she was well aware that I was looking and if I'd have pulled out my phone and snapped a pic that would have been mom's basement level creepy I'm sure.

She probably would have thought that was normal. You left her with the impression that you're probably gay. Try to do better for us next time!

We once had a lady write down the prices for everything as she picked them up and when she was getting checked out by the cashier she kept telling them the price of there was a difference. she had a full cartload too. This was years ago.

FPNI

I always take the longest line in the grocery store- if it goes quick, I am pleasantly surprised; if it does not, it meets my expectations.

Pick lines with baggers that aren't managers. (They won't walk away then like a manager will.)

Look at the number of items in the carts, not the number of carts, and what it is. Veggies take longer, cans and boxes shorter.

If you aren't sure, pick the line with the MILF in it with the hot cashier and enjoy the wait more.

Everyone else already figured out that line is slow and they moved to another line.  Hence, the shortest line indicates slow service.

I was in line at the grocery store the other day behind a woman.  Out came the coupons and I knew I was dead.  She was going back & forth with the cashier explaining each coupon.  Then realized she was over budget and starting pulling things back so the cashier had to go back and deduct from the total. They were taking back one item at a time until she could afford it but she had to pick items based on worth & importance and could not make up her mind on what to sacrifice.

Then came the usual argument on the price of an item, on sale or not. Then her credit card was denied. This shit went on to the point where I damn near gave the bitch a 20 dollar bill just to get rid of her.

Fucking ditto

access the teller not just the line look for "problem" people in the line

I have this problem at the post office.

Hey lets fill out the mailing label,pack the shit into the box and tape it p while people are waiting in line behind you


Do that shit at home or out of line and come prepared

".....plus I got to look at a very attractive and well built young female in yoga pants the whole time but still....."

What exactly was the complaint again?

Sometimes girth is more important then the length. Get your minds out of the foxholes....

statistically pick the line with the fewest distinct customers. an item takes a few seconds where the ringing up and payment can take a minute or so. So a line with 2 people are full carts will be faster than a line with 4 people with fewer things.

What bothers me more is the gas station line when you get stuck behind a person getting lottery or tobacco.

Prioritize line speediness using this formula:

1) Does the cashier look like an Obama voter?
2) How many people in line look like Obama voters?
3) How much stuff is in the carts of the people in line?
4) How long are the lines in the different lanes?

Bonus points for looking for lines about to open. Make direct eye contact with these folks and be aggressive.

I have knack for picking the slowest cashier EVERYTIME

Your not as smart as you think

Same.  Its like when you go out to get in your vehicle and be on your way.  You don't see much traffic with either cars or people.  You get ready to pull out and it seems like everyone is ready to park and shop there that instant.

Murphy's Law: The other line moves faster.  When you change lines, the one you were in moves faster.

An old law of the universe.

LOL! ayup...that is me everytime !

Uhh whenever they pull out a wad of coupons you switch lanes.  Those rabid couponer cat lady's can take 30 minutes for all that horse shit.  That's why everyone hates them. Look for the binder of paperwork and lots of multiples of stuff. 

I would have hit on the pretty lady