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Posted: 5/26/2017 1:13:49 PM EDT
Long long time lurker finally pulled the trigger so I can join in the derp fest that is GD
No beans in my chilli 9mm or 45? The answer is 10mm |
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Hey you, new guy.
Somebody put a sign on your back that says, "Please, go in dry!" |
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Poll added the lack of trust here ... well it's really not surprising
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Quoted:
http://i.imgur.com/ufyxw9e.jpg View Quote |
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I'm not a retread acct god dammmmmit respect my autharrritayyyyy
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The Electric Company opening credits season 6 |
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OP please entertain us, it's a snooze fest thus far in this post.
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Ok story timeessssss how do I share pics here btw I can substantiate 95% of the shit I say with pics yanno pics or it didn't happen, at the time I was working below the mason dixon and rarely ever got time off, I loved to drink holyyyy fuck did I get my drinks on, I got a whole weekend off so I decided it would be an awesome idea to take the new guy to a strip club...
so I'm getting plastered black out, wake up in a hospital bed, apparently I almost made it but blacked out in the cab fuckkk so via the iv I'm feeling awesome so I walk my dumb ass 8 miles back to my appt my truck is nott there yet that's fine, my keys to my appt are in it, so I decided to walk a block over to Rocco's Tacos fuck yeah, it was tequila thirty boi, I'm slamming shots and hitting on these two Canadian girls (you either know of the Canadian girl freakness or ya don't) and I snag the uglier of the two who was determined to snag the d lol like I gave a fuck, don't have the keys to my appt they are on my key ring for my truck, unfuckingphased I take her into some bushes it's FO TIME and proceed to lay the pipe removing every piece of clothing save my socks, in case you were wondering sex was off the hoooook and I left her with all my organs intact. |
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Then I proceed back to Rocco's to hammer more shots get kicked out of the bar for falling asleep, proceeded back to my appt then decided to try and kick the door in well the door just happened to face a set of steps and my Kung foo was rusty so one round house and my goofy ass woke up to firemen and first responders at the bottom of the steps, my first response was can you knock down the door to my appt I'm tired I was man holy shit, so I caught a cab after they told me to promptly fuck off to a days inn, got a room caught the eye of some druggy chick but passed it up I know fuck me right?
Caught a cab to work in the morning and THERES MY FUCKING TRUCK PARKED AT THE SHOP!!! my super sends me home to change quick since I was still in the cloths from friday nights festivities, then on the barge later that day I'm changing out and my boy looks at my after I take my shoes off and asks "why the fuck do you have mulch on your socks?" |
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View Quote 1. Squat 2.reach back 3.remove stick from ass |
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