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Posted: 3/23/2017 11:21:09 PM EDT
[#1]
Nothing.
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Posted: 3/23/2017 11:21:53 PM EDT
[#2]
wouldn't talk to his wife behind his back about him for one thing....
if you guys fish do that I'd drop by with a beer maybe see if he'll talk to you. Doesnt sound right though... |
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Posted: 3/23/2017 11:22:48 PM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Nothing. |
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Posted: 3/23/2017 11:24:23 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
wouldn't talk to his wife behind his back about him for one thing.... if you guys fish do that I'd drop by with a beer maybe see if he'll talk to you. Doesnt sound right though... |
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Posted: 3/23/2017 11:24:52 PM EDT
[#5]
Was his last text "catch you on the flip side" ?
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Posted: 3/23/2017 11:25:20 PM EDT
[#6]
I lost a friend to suicide. I'm not saying he's depressed. But real good friends are hard to come by and because you made this post you clearly know something is wrong. Make him talk, make him hang out. It's worth taking time out of your schedule IMO.
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Posted: 3/23/2017 11:25:21 PM EDT
[#7]
Sounds like he's depressed and pushing people away. Try to talk to him.
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Posted: 3/23/2017 11:25:36 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Was his last text "catch you on the flip side" ? |
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Posted: 3/23/2017 11:27:05 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sounds like he's depressed and pushing people away. Try to talk to him. |
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Posted: 3/23/2017 11:29:00 PM EDT
[#10]
Quoted:
What in the hell do I do? Nothing. Been there, done that, took me longer to figure out they just aren't going to call me or email me back than it should have. People will come and go in your life. Sometimes the people you think you're closest to will just drop off the face of the Earth. You have to just accept it and move on. The pain comes in trying to keep them longer than they want to be in your life. |
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Posted: 3/23/2017 11:31:09 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Nothing. Been there, done that, took me longer to figure out they just aren't going to call me or email me back than it should have. People will come and go in your life. Sometimes the people you think you're closest to will just drop off the face of the Earth. You have to just accept it and move on. The pain comes in trying to keep them longer than they want to be in your life. |
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Posted: 3/23/2017 11:33:33 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Nothing. Been there, done that, took me longer to figure out they just aren't going to call me or email me back than it should have. People will come and go in your life. Sometimes the people you think you're closest to will just drop off the face of the Earth. You have to just accept it and move on. The pain comes in trying to keep them longer than they want to be in your life. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
What in the hell do I do? Nothing. Been there, done that, took me longer to figure out they just aren't going to call me or email me back than it should have. People will come and go in your life. Sometimes the people you think you're closest to will just drop off the face of the Earth. You have to just accept it and move on. The pain comes in trying to keep them longer than they want to be in your life. |
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Posted: 3/23/2017 11:37:14 PM EDT
[#13]
I've had that happen a few times. People get depressed or angry and they look for easy targets.
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Posted: 3/23/2017 11:40:43 PM EDT
[#14]
Yep. He was my best friend throughout school and lived across the street. He was huge on facebook, had a few bad marriages, drank a lot and may have gotten into drugs at one point. Facebook account disappeared, phone number was disconnected and even his Dad never returned my calls. Soon after my Mom sent me an article that featured a sort of halfway house and he was in the picture. That was years ago and he has still never resurfaced.
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Posted: 3/23/2017 11:42:42 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yep. He was my best friend throughout school and lived across the street. He was huge on facebook, had a few bad marriages, drank a lot and may have gotten into drugs at one point. Facebook account disappeared, phone number was disconnected and even his Dad never returned my calls. Soon after my Mom sent me an article that featured a sort of halfway house and he was in the picture. That was years ago and he has still never resurfaced. |
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Posted: 3/23/2017 11:43:24 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
This doesn't sound like the same thing. If his friend is shutting out his own father and brother it's more than just a friendship fading away. Don't miss them or mourn the loss of the friendship, just rejoice you had it for as long as you did and move on. Attachment is what leads to pain, so let go of those things you fear to lose. |
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Posted: 3/23/2017 11:43:45 PM EDT
[#17]
Best friend did that years ago. Chatted all the time via phone and computer and then noticed he wasnt logging on at all to chat with. No answer when i called. He reappeared a few months later. Sent me a message "back from the store".
He went to goto the store, just kept driving. Went to his dads lake cabin 3 hours south, got a pt job in the small town, and hung out at the lake all summer. Waiting for him to do it again. |
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Posted: 3/23/2017 11:46:26 PM EDT
[#18]
Yeah, buddy of mine since middle school disappeared a few years ago. He wanted to GTFO, he ended up in PA and MT for a little while, then Ketchican, AK and then showed up in town for a few days like 4 years ago then disappeared again, no FB activity or anything. Couple years ago I ran into a mutual friend that he used to work with he hadn't heard from him either. Another friend just got a FB message from him just a couple days ago, guess he's in Prudhoe Bay, AK now.
This all happened after he got fired from his construction job and then kicked out of his parent's house, he had a bit of a problem with painkillers and had become a pot smoker, too. Sucks seeing your longtime friends become fuckups. |
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Posted: 3/23/2017 11:48:44 PM EDT
[#19]
Tagging this for later. I have a relavant story too. But too much work to type it out on my phone.
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Posted: 3/23/2017 11:49:01 PM EDT
[#20]
Army buddy we call boomer. He submerges and goes silent for a few months, then he surfaces, makes contact, then submerges again.
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Posted: 3/23/2017 11:51:30 PM EDT
[#21]
Yep. Best man from my wedding, good friend from high school, good friend from college, childhood friends. People move on. Sometimes you move on.
Some of those guys I could sit down to a beer or a meal with and it'd be just like old times. Some of them I still see on a regular basis and barely say two words to. It's just life. |
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Posted: 3/24/2017 12:14:25 AM EDT
[#22]
When the world gets me down:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdKI1wj-JpI |
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Posted: 3/24/2017 12:15:05 AM EDT
[#23]
One was murdered and the other killed herself. Life is shit, and you can't rely on people. Fuck 'em.
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Posted: 3/24/2017 12:16:09 AM EDT
[#24]
What did he know about Hillary Clinton?
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Posted: 3/24/2017 12:16:40 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It could be depression, it could be he's just no longer a priority, it could just be a matter of "I'll call him back next week" and before you know it next week is next year. It happens. Don't miss them or mourn the loss of the friendship, just rejoice you had it for as long as you did and move on. Attachment is what leads to pain, so let go of those things you fear to lose. |
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Posted: 3/24/2017 12:18:13 AM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Nothing. Been there, done that, took me longer to figure out they just aren't going to call me or email me back than it should have. People will come and go in your life. Sometimes the people you think you're closest to will just drop off the face of the Earth. You have to just accept it and move on. The pain comes in trying to keep them longer than they want to be in your life. |
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Posted: 3/24/2017 12:33:34 AM EDT
[#27]
Something like this happened with a friend of mine a couple years ago. I got tired of it and confronted him.
Turns out that he and his wife were going through a series of illnesses. Imagine a monthlong flu, his wife still has some lingering autoimmune symptoms. There are reasons for these things sometimes. |
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Posted: 3/24/2017 12:36:06 AM EDT
[#28]
Alcoholic or addict kicking the enablers to the curb?
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Posted: 3/24/2017 12:38:45 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Nothing. But, This sounds like paranoid / depressed behavior. He's probably having a mental health crisis. Only his wife or family have any hope of helping him. |
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Posted: 3/24/2017 12:43:56 AM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
We don't fish, do enjoy beer, and live about seven hours apart from one another. If it was as easy as dropping by, I'd already be there. |
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Posted: 3/24/2017 12:44:45 AM EDT
[#31]
I once dropped off everyone's radar. I just had a ton going on in my life and didn't have the energy for it. I wasn't depressed I just had so much on my plate I didn't have time for friends.
i figured they were my friends and would understand. |
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Posted: 3/24/2017 12:45:13 AM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Alcoholic or addict kicking the enablers to the curb? |
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Posted: 3/24/2017 1:33:05 AM EDT
[#33]
Maybe Dad doesn't know?..but I'm betting the wife knows exactly the reason he isn't talking to you..
just because she says she doesn't know?..tells me she does.. I don't believe shit a woman says anymore.. |
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Posted: 3/24/2017 2:12:00 AM EDT
[#34]
I do that from time to time myself. Every once in a while, I just want to be left alone and reflect on things. Doesn't mean anything, my wife knows this respects it. Your buddy might be just fine. Ask him, he'll let you know.
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Posted: 3/24/2017 2:17:21 AM EDT
[#35]
Visit your friend. Feel him out (no homo). Talk about old times you and he are fond of, and make plans to do some guy stuff together asap.
If he's depressed and thinking about suicide, he may also be thinking about taking his wife and kids with him. |
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Posted: 3/24/2017 2:18:31 AM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I do that from time to time myself. Every once in a while, I just want to be left alone and reflect on things. Doesn't mean anything, my wife knows this respects it. Your buddy might be just fine. Ask him, he'll let you know. I get depressed, but if someone reaches out to me, I'll respond (if I don't hate you, which is rare  ).
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Posted: 3/24/2017 2:32:01 AM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
One was murdered and the other killed herself. Life is shit, and you can't rely on people. Fuck 'em. |
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Posted: 3/24/2017 2:33:33 AM EDT
[#38]
Yes. Took me a while to figure out he just didn't want to talk to be friends anymore.
I've seen him in town a time or two in the last few years, and we briefly talked once, but it is obvious what happened. We went in very different paths in life, and he saw it before I did. |
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Posted: 3/24/2017 2:45:40 AM EDT
[#39]
Idk how old you are OP but I've noticed this a lot in my dad and older guys. They'll go months or years with out talking to or hanging out with their old buddies. I think it's fairly typical of guys as they establish families and careers.
Even at my age (29), guys who are married with kids, you just don't see or talk as often. |
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Posted: 3/24/2017 2:55:40 AM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
One was murdered and the other killed herself. Life is shit, and you can't rely on people. Fuck 'em. |
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Posted: 3/24/2017 2:57:35 AM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Idk how old you are OP but I've noticed this a lot in my dad and older guys. They'll go months or years with out talking to or hanging out with their old buddies. I think it's fairly typical of guys as they establish families and careers. Even at my age (29), guys who are married with kids, you just don't see or talk as often. The first batch were Highschool buddies, I had a soon to be wife and baby on the way. by my 30's I had relocated, re-prioritized my life and broken off most contact, by my late 30's I cleared my facebook accounts of everyone and went dark, put up one with my full name, only family, and my old pastor are on it. Any of my old friends can find me by my first (shortened version)name and last, from the original account. if they really wanted to. My childhood friends can find me by my full name on twitter ( which I rarely post on but do log into) or via my old pastor. Those are the ones I've "re-added" They have familys, so do I. we live in different states, but discussed getting together, perhaps to go shooting and camping at one guy's cabin/property. I'll probably do that, jus to re-establish bonds and catch up. Those are the sorts I want and value in my life. 35-40 year long relationships with similar values. If I want to talk about shit I'll call my old man, uncle, or brother. Or toss it up to strangers on Arfcom.
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Posted: 3/24/2017 3:52:14 AM EDT
[#42]
I've found that when I was younger friends meant more. Now I'm older, married, have a child and work a shit ton of hours, friends and socializing doesn't really matter so much anymore. I work 12 hour shifts all night, then I get home to see the wife and kid for about an hour or so. Then I sleep all day and repeat. Then on my days off I haul my kid to school events or sports practice. Then it's back home, fix dinner, pick up the house, get kid to bed, spend time with the wife and then repeat the cycle. I don't have time to hang out with friends. When I do, I have to hear about work and listen to war stories from my friends I served with. Truthfully it gets tiresome. I get more out of spending time with my family than "friends".
I've had some friends that seemingly went off the radar. I reached out to them and realized there was a host of problems and none I could fix. I tried to help where I could but you know if you need help you need to meet those who will help you at some point. I wasn't going to be the one to always help pick up the pieces when they were the ones who got themselves in the mess. I had one friend whose live went to shit in short order. His marriage dissolved, lost a string of jobs, went bankrupt etc. He couldn't deal with the fact that the rest of our circle of friends were going on with their lives and going places while he wallowed in his problems and lived in a back room at his grandmas. I offered him help and encouragement at every turn of the bend but he wouldn't do anything to help himself so I cut him loose. He was my friend for over 10 years but being a bitch ended that. All told, the older a man gets, he no longer has friends save for a few good ones, he only has associates. |
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Posted: 3/24/2017 3:55:44 AM EDT
[#43]
He found out that you voted for Hillary?
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Posted: 3/24/2017 4:02:38 AM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Good catch. If it's not depression or mental illness it's this. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Alcoholic or addict kicking the enablers to the curb? 
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Posted: 3/24/2017 4:03:45 AM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
That's horrible, but I understand. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Yep. He was my best friend throughout school and lived across the street. He was huge on facebook, had a few bad marriages, drank a lot and may have gotten into drugs at one point. Facebook account disappeared, phone number was disconnected and even his Dad never returned my calls. Soon after my Mom sent me an article that featured a sort of halfway house and he was in the picture. That was years ago and he has still never resurfaced. |
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Posted: 3/24/2017 4:09:57 AM EDT
[#46]
I've been there a lot throughout my life. Sometimes a guy just doesn't have the energy to talk to his best friend even.
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Posted: 3/24/2017 4:32:42 AM EDT
[#47]
I do this from time to time..I get busy with stuff at work and at home and need to make more time for myself so there will be times I won't reply to texts or calls except to family members and thats only to prevent them from calling the police and having them do a welfare check. It's really only for a few weeks , maybe a month or so at a time.
At this point in time, while I appreciate having the friends left that I do have, the fact is it's damn hard to find the time to do what I want to do for myself, much less do the things other people want me to do and getting older, and less healthier makes me feel as if time is running out to do the things I want and feel I need to do. |
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Posted: 3/24/2017 5:21:25 AM EDT
[#48]
Possible that all he wanted was a Pepsi but nobody gave him one.
Happens all the time, people wanting to be left alone that is. Prying will end badly. Edit to add linky for young 'uns. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoF_a0-7xVQ |
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Posted: 3/24/2017 6:56:15 AM EDT
[#49]
Good friend faded from contact after he fessed up that he liked to dress in women's clothes.
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Posted: 3/24/2017 7:05:10 AM EDT
[#50]
I tend to do that from time to time. Because of depression.
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