.Mil guys, first deployment as a husband and father - Page 1

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - .Mil guys, first deployment as a husband and father

Posted: 2/26/2017 3:17:00 AM EDT

heading out the door soon to the desert.

Deployed four times before but never as a husband and now father to an eight month old little girl.

This time feels so damn different

Posted: 2/26/2017 3:27:39 AM EDT

[#1]

Skype if and when you can. Mail was also my lifeline.

Posted: 2/26/2017 7:11:15 AM EDT

[#2]

WeChat app is great, too. You can record short audio messages, voice call, videochat, text, all over Wifi or if you have it, 4G / 3G, and it isn't an international call.

Posted: 2/26/2017 7:44:18 AM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:
heading out the door soon to the desert.

Deployed four times before but never as a husband and now father to an eight month old little girl.

This time feels so damn different

View Quote

8 month old? She won't even remember it.

Around 2-3 years old they start noticing you're never around.

Posted: 2/26/2017 7:44:58 AM EDT

[#4]

Not mil but I've been a DOD contractor for almost a decade.

The last time I went to Afghanistan my first born was 9 days old. Skype as much as you can, send little things home and take a baby item with you that's easily packable. My choice was a baby blanket.

The first and last two weeks are the worst but you'll get through it.

Posted: 2/26/2017 8:33:40 AM EDT

[#5]

I was in a very similar position and it is a much different feeling. You must come to grips with it or it will consum you in a time when you must remain focused. Stay safe brother.

Posted: 2/26/2017 8:33:49 AM EDT

[#6]

Stay in contact. The time away will really help you appreciate what you have at home and gives you a reason to return home. It's OK to cry. Just do it in private

Posted: 2/26/2017 8:51:55 AM EDT

[#7]

Al Udeid is pretty much like being at home anyway so I wouldn't even worry about it.

Posted: 2/26/2017 9:02:55 AM EDT

[#8]

It sucks at that age as they are at the "fun stage" if you will where for the most part they are just happy and learning so much. I missed the first year of my older sons life, and now seeing my second son go through the first year it is really enjoyable. But on the other hand if I had to leave now when my older son would actually notice would be hard.

But once you're there you just do your job and drive on and honestly as bad as it sounds kind of forget about it.

Posted: 2/26/2017 9:09:57 AM EDT

[#9]

Not a dad, but most of my deployments were as a husband. You'll be fine. Take a photo and momento with you.

Posted: 2/26/2017 9:14:56 AM EDT

[#10]

Focus on your job and work long days. Basically do the opposite of what you should be doing when you're home with your family.

Don't go to salsa night or spend four hours a day at the gym or play video games in the MWR all night. All those "little piece of home" things make it worse because people do them too much and they make people forget why they're there in the first place. Then you just get depressed and pissed off.

Eh, you've deployed before so you know this already.

Posted: 2/26/2017 9:19:59 AM EDT

[#11]

The first one sucks, the next one sucks more and so on.

Truly a heart rending sacrifice that can never really be explained to normal people.

Posted: 2/26/2017 8:03:40 PM EDT

[#12]

Its different for everyone.

No kids, not a big deal

When my oldest was two, not a big deal.

When she was seven, it got hard.

This one will be hard on Mom. Kid wont remember it.

Try to be a good teammate and be social with your buds downrange. Dont isolate yourself. Embrace the down range family and brotherhood.

Youll get through it.

Posted: 2/26/2017 8:12:18 PM EDT

[#13]

I'm currently gone right now too, I feel you. We try to FaceTime as much as possible my oldest 7 seems to be taken it the hardest the younger two are 2 and under and don't understand. My wife's keeps them busy he's in cub scouts and such to keep their mind off of it. Was a lot easier when I didn't have kids that's for sure. They built a calendar type thing to count down the days.

Best of luck and hope time goes by fast for you.

Posted: 2/26/2017 8:18:31 PM EDT

[#14]

Kuwait isn't a deployment

Posted: 2/26/2017 8:42:55 PM EDT

[#15]

Good luck.

Keep your head down.

Shoot straight.

Thank you and your family for the sacrifice. May God bless you and your family.

Posted: 2/26/2017 9:18:27 PM EDT

[#16]

Quote History

Quoted:
Kuwait isn't a deployment

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Who said I was going to Kuwait?

Posted: 2/26/2017 10:18:47 PM EDT

[#17]

Quote History

Quoted:
Good luck.

Keep your head down.

Shoot straight.

Thank you and your family for the sacrifice. May God bless you and your family.

View Quote

I've never had to do this. I have a 20 month old and it would be torture to leave her. All I can say is thank you for your sacrifice. I apriceate you keeping me and my family safe. I don't know you but you sound like a good man.

Posted: 2/26/2017 10:25:25 PM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
8 month old? She won't even remember it.

View Quote

Hate to sound cold, but this is spot on. If you're concerned, get her a Daddy Doll.

As for the wife, Skype or Facetime as much as you can.

Posted: 2/26/2017 10:29:43 PM EDT

[#19]

I'm finding that it's getting harder as the kids get older. As little one's, they just knew I was gone and went on with their blissful little lives. Now they are old enough to understand what they hear and see on the news and they kind of freak out. My 14 year old daughter is having a rough go with this next one coming up.

Posted: 2/26/2017 10:43:23 PM EDT

[#20]

Keep in touch as much as you can. I have been married over 25yrs, 20 of those years while in the Military. Two sons. It's hard, and was harder back then when cell phones and such weren't as common.

For about 8 years I was gone about half the time. Sometimes I would leave and not be able to tell the wife were I was going or when I would be back. Come back home for a couple weeks or a couple months and be gone again. In AFSOC I went to the same place for a couple months at a time, come home for a couple then rotate back out. In the TALCE we sometimes never knew when we had a few (4hrs usually) hours notice to be wheels up. It was sometimes exciting, but very hard on the family. Your spouse needs to be strong and able to care for themselves and the kids. Luckily I was the comm guy and had access to lines of communication back home, so I could keep in contact pretty often.

I'm sure nowadays they have moral phones and computers, so it shouldn't be that hard, unless you are deploying somewhere you don't have access to that kind of thing.

Posted: 2/26/2017 10:47:19 PM EDT

[#21]

I left for Afghanistan when my first son was 15 days old. I didn't see him again in person until he was 9 months old.

I'll admit, I cried at the airport. Thankfully I had good internet and got to see him on skype quite a bit. He took to me pretty well when I got back.

I'm glad I haven't had to deploy long term again.

Posted: 2/27/2017 12:25:34 AM EDT

[#22]

Will be rough, good luck to you.

I'm glad I never deployed as a dad. Would have made it harder to stay focused, IMO.

Posted: 3/10/2017 4:36:43 PM EDT

[#23]

Just got out here a few hours ago

Talked to the wife on Facebook and saw the little girl on the Facebook version of Skype

It's wierd being out here, because the last time I was at this particular base was ten years ago.

Things have changed but a lot of thin are exactly where they were then.... However they did tear the dorms down that I lived in last time and they built a new chow hall since then

Posted: 3/10/2017 4:39:38 PM EDT

[#24]

Quote History

Quoted:
Just got out here a few hours ago

Talked to the wife on Facebook and saw the little girl on the Facebook version of Skype

It's wierd being out here, because the last time I was at this particular base was ten years ago.

Things have changed but a lot of thin are exactly where they were then.... However they did tear the dorms down that I lived in last time and they built a new chow hall since then

View Quote

Good choice on using FB messenger calling. Skype sucks dicks.

I spent some time at that base a few years ago. In 40 man RLBs. Bleh. Nice gyms though. And you get booze!

Good luck man. Call whenever you can, it'll fly by.

Posted: 3/10/2017 5:22:47 PM EDT

[#25]

stay safe, have fun.

Posted: 3/10/2017 10:33:12 PM EDT

[#26]

Eat lots of salad...

Posted: 3/10/2017 11:43:02 PM EDT

[#27]

Quote History

Quoted:
Just got out here a few hours ago

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Have you been to the Casbah to have your three beers yet?

Posted: 3/10/2017 11:58:50 PM EDT

[#28]

Good luck, and stay in touch with your family.

The time will pass quickly

Posted: 3/11/2017 12:00:32 AM EDT

[#29]

Thanks for your sacrifice

Posted: 3/11/2017 2:26:57 AM EDT

[#30]

Quote History

Quoted:

Have you been to the Casbah to have your three beers yet?

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
Just got out here a few hours ago

Have you been to the Casbah to have your three beers yet?

Not yet, walked around the CC and BPC to see what has changed and what stayed the same since the last time I was here

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - .Mil guys, first deployment as a husband and father

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