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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:07:48 PM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I'm visiting your state tomorrow. Mostly full of super fat bitches in my experience.  Oh yeah. Where do you think the cheese comes from? |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:08:14 PM EDT
[#2]
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Don't be an asshole.  Quote HistoryQuoted:
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It's pretty exciting. You can ask me questions if you want, I guess. I might answer some of them. I probably won't ansewr them all. I really don't like most of you guys that much. Just drinking some Knob Creek on the rocks and playing some warship game. In my new house. Over a week off of work. Going up north to check the trail cameras and shoot some guns for part of the honeymoon. My life is awesome. Just quoted for posterity. Don't be an asshole. He's not, he's being realistic. |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:08:45 PM EDT
[#3]
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It seems like just yesterday you were banging whores and getting STDs, now you all grows up. So bittersweet. She wasn't a whore, she was a nice lady! 
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:09:44 PM EDT
[#4]
Is she pregnant ?
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:10:32 PM EDT
[#5]
Pics of your hapless victim?
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:10:41 PM EDT
[#6]
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No pics? No. Even if I wanted to the only one I have on the new harddrive are the ones of her modeling the new butt-plug fox tail thing. Probably a no-go around these parts. I mean technically you can't see the starfish but I'm still betting the penguin would frown upon such things. |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:11:10 PM EDT
[#7]
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Is she pregnant ? I hope not. |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:12:01 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted: No. Even if I wanted to the only one I have on the new harddrive are the ones of her modeling the new butt-plug fox tail thing. Probably a no-go around these parts. I mean technically you can't see the starfish but I'm still betting the penguin would frown upon such things. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: No pics? No. Even if I wanted to the only one I have on the new harddrive are the ones of her modeling the new butt-plug fox tail thing. Probably a no-go around these parts. I mean technically you can't see the starfish but I'm still betting the penguin would frown upon such things. Drink more Knob Creek and then risk it, worse case is 72 hour ban and you will be getting busy over the next 72 hours and not even miss us. |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:12:24 PM EDT
[#9]
your first name isnt Eric is it?
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:13:04 PM EDT
[#10]
Shouldn't you be drunk at the rehersal dinner?
Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:13:40 PM EDT
[#11]
No offense, but if your life is so awesome, WTF are you doing on Arfcom the day before you get married? Shouldn't you be with your family, your fiance, your groomsmen, you know, actual people?
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:14:26 PM EDT
[#12]
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your first name isnt Eric is it? No. Not last time I checked anyway. |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:15:34 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Marrage is great. But don't do it. Seriously, I love being married. Not even once. The best thing I've done. Wouldn't recommend it to someone I didn't like. You make me laugh |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:16:38 PM EDT
[#14]
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No. Even if I wanted to the only one I have... SNIP. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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No pics? No. Even if I wanted to the only one I have... SNIP. Dude. You should stop posting tonight. |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:16:41 PM EDT
[#15]
normally id say eject but you deserve this
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:17:47 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
No offense, but if your life is so awesome, WTF are you doing on Arfcom the day before you get married? Shouldn't you be with your family, your fiance, your groomsmen, you know, actual people? I was. Just got back. |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:18:15 PM EDT
[#17]
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Dude. You should stop posting tonight. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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No pics? No. Even if I wanted to the only one I have... SNIP. Dude. You should stop posting tonight. You don't know much about me do you? This is mild compared to some of the shit I've shared here. |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:19:02 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I was. Just got back. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: No offense, but if your life is so awesome, WTF are you doing on Arfcom the day before you get married? Shouldn't you be with your family, your fiance, your groomsmen, you know, actual people? I was. Just got back. Haters gonna hate, no worries mate. Hopefully you are marrying up. |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:19:14 PM EDT
[#19]
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You get one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart. Way to work it through. I get the butthole too. 
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:19:48 PM EDT
[#20]
Congratulations. Good luck to both of you.
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:21:14 PM EDT
[#21]
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You don't know much about me do you? This is mild compared to some of the shit I've shared here. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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No pics? No. Even if I wanted to the only one I have... SNIP. Dude. You should stop posting tonight. You don't know much about me do you? This is mild compared to some of the shit I've shared here. Oh, I'm aware of your posts. But now you're talking about your wife, who doesn't live in a barracks and is entitled to a little bit of privacy. I can count the number of happily married guys I know who would talk about shit like that to perfect strangers on zero fingers. Good luck. |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:21:20 PM EDT
[#22]
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I get the butthole too. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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You get one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart. Way to work it through. I get the butthole too. Don't forget her mouth and her ears if you play it right. |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:22:07 PM EDT
[#23]
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Don't forget her mouth and her ears if you play it right. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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You get one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart. Way to work it through. I get the butthole too. Don't forget her mouth and her ears if you play it right. Her mouth? But I kiss that you sick fuck.
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:22:51 PM EDT
[#24]
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Don't forget her mouth and her ears if you play it right. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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You get one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart. Way to work it through. I get the butthole too. Don't forget her mouth and her ears if you play it right. Bad pick and 5 years later he could have infinite rolls as well. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:23:13 PM EDT
[#25]
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Oh, I'm aware of your posts. But now you're talking about your wife, who doesn't live in a barracks and is entitled to a little bit of privacy. I can count the number of happily married guys I know who would talk about shit like that to perfect strangers on zero fingers. Good luck. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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No pics? No. Even if I wanted to the only one I have... SNIP. Dude. You should stop posting tonight. You don't know much about me do you? This is mild compared to some of the shit I've shared here. Oh, I'm aware of your posts. But now you're talking about your wife, who doesn't live in a barracks and is entitled to a little bit of privacy. I can count the number of happily married guys I know who would talk about shit like that to perfect strangers on zero fingers. Good luck. Perfect strangers in person? Different story. Random internet weenies? ZFG's. |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:23:26 PM EDT
[#26]
Quoted:
It's pretty exciting. You can ask me questions if you want, I guess. I might answer some of them. I probably won't ansewr them all. I really don't like most of you guys that much. Just drinking some Knob Creek on the rocks and playing some warship game. In my new house. Over a week off of work. Going up north to check the trail cameras and shoot some guns for part of the honeymoon. My life is awesome. No real friends to talk to about this? You have a sister pulling best man duty or something? |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:24:31 PM EDT
[#27]
Congratulations! May I recommend The Five Love Languages book for you and your new wife? It gives you the mechanics of love and should be required reading for couples interested in marriage and newlyweds.
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:24:41 PM EDT
[#28]
"Baby, this shit we got together, it's so good we gotta get the government in on this shit. We can't just share this commitment 'tweenst us. We need judges and lawyers involved in this shit, baby. It's hot!"
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:25:35 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Congratulations! May I recommend The Five Love Languages book for you and your new wife? It gives you the mechanics of love and should be required reading for couples interested in marriage and newlyweds. That book doesn't cover "where do you go when butt stuff doesn't cut it anymore" |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:26:37 PM EDT
[#30]
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No real friends to talk to about this? You have a sister pulling best man duty or something? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
It's pretty exciting. You can ask me questions if you want, I guess. I might answer some of them. I probably won't ansewr them all. I really don't like most of you guys that much. Just drinking some Knob Creek on the rocks and playing some warship game. In my new house. Over a week off of work. Going up north to check the trail cameras and shoot some guns for part of the honeymoon. My life is awesome. No real friends to talk to about this? You have a sister pulling best man duty or something? Already told them. I made this thread just for you. I figured you'd be dying to know. |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:26:42 PM EDT
[#31]
Run!! Far away!!!!
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:28:06 PM EDT
[#32]
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Run!! Far away!!!! At this hour? But I'm not properly hydrated! |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:30:32 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Already told them. I made this thread just for you. I figured you'd be dying to know. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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It's pretty exciting. You can ask me questions if you want, I guess. I might answer some of them. I probably won't ansewr them all. I really don't like most of you guys that much. Just drinking some Knob Creek on the rocks and playing some warship game. In my new house. Over a week off of work. Going up north to check the trail cameras and shoot some guns for part of the honeymoon. My life is awesome. No real friends to talk to about this? You have a sister pulling best man duty or something? Already told them. I made this thread just for you. I figured you'd be dying to know. Have you done any polling on the success rate of marriages where pummeling the turd cutter was on the table right out of the gate? |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:32:47 PM EDT
[#34]
An older feller I worked with, was married over 40 years.
I say, Al how do you make it work ? He said, marriage is like taking a bath... Once you get used to it... It's not so hot. |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:33:07 PM EDT
[#35]
Did the OP bang any strippers at his bachelor party?
Does the OP plan on banging any of the brides maids tomorrow? As far as the GD goes which guys do you like? Which guys don't you like? Oh and why no pics of the future Mrs. Towely? |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:35:08 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Just quoted for posterity. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: It's pretty exciting. You can ask me questions if you want, I guess. I might answer some of them. I probably won't ansewr them all. I really don't like most of you guys that much. Just drinking some Knob Creek on the rocks and playing some warship game. In my new house. Over a week off of work. Going up north to check the trail cameras and shoot some guns for part of the honeymoon. My life is awesome. Just quoted for posterity.  |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:37:02 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Have you done any polling on the success rate of marriages where pummeling the turd cutter was on the table right out of the gate? Quote HistoryQuoted:
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It's pretty exciting. You can ask me questions if you want, I guess. I might answer some of them. I probably won't ansewr them all. I really don't like most of you guys that much. Just drinking some Knob Creek on the rocks and playing some warship game. In my new house. Over a week off of work. Going up north to check the trail cameras and shoot some guns for part of the honeymoon. My life is awesome. No real friends to talk to about this? You have a sister pulling best man duty or something? Already told them. I made this thread just for you. I figured you'd be dying to know. Have you done any polling on the success rate of marriages where pummeling the turd cutter was on the table right out of the gate? Extensive, extensive research on the subject. Out of the gate is a pretty ridiculous assumption though. It took me the better part of four years to enter the holiest of holies. |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:39:51 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Did the OP bang any strippers at his bachelor party? No, I caught a lot of fish though. Does the OP plan on banging any of the brides maids tomorrow? The one is quite a looker but no way. As far as the GD goes which guys do you like? Deej is pretty good shit. That butthole licking guy is alright too, helped me out a lot when buying e-cigarettes. Extorris is always good fun in a cop thread. Which guys don't you like? The guys listed above are really the only dudes I can recall by name. I don't remember most of the posters here aside from remembering their names. I hate most of you though so I just assume I hate everyone all over again in every new thread until proven otherwise. So far it's worked out well for me. Oh and why no pics of the future Mrs. Towely? Because I hate all of you. |
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:42:26 PM EDT
[#39]
His name was Towely.
His life was awesome.
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:43:57 PM EDT
[#40]
Ya gonna name your kid Washcloth?
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Posted: 8/26/2016 11:44:01 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Either I've had more to drink than I realize or your post is very confusing. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Marrage is great. But don't do it. Seriously, I love being married. Not even once. The best thing I've done. Wouldn't recommend it to someone I didn't like. Either I've had more to drink than I realize or your post is very confusing. Actually that post makes perfect sense. You'll see soon enough. 
ETA: Congrats OP and sorry.
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Posted: 8/27/2016 12:26:38 AM EDT
[#42]
No future wife pics? ... Are you marrying a dude? Is that why we don't have pics?
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Posted: 8/27/2016 12:38:54 AM EDT
[#43]
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No future wife pics? ... Are you marrying a dude? Is that why we don't have pics? I'm pretty sure it's a woman. I'll find out tomorrow night.
Just kidding, I've already eaten at that restaurant. Sausage was not on the menu. |
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Posted: 8/27/2016 12:50:03 AM EDT
[#44]
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I'm pretty sure it's a woman. I'll find out tomorrow night.
Just kidding, I've already eaten at that restaurant. Sausage was not on the menu. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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No future wife pics? ... Are you marrying a dude? Is that why we don't have pics? I'm pretty sure it's a woman. I'll find out tomorrow night.
Just kidding, I've already eaten at that restaurant. Sausage was not on the menu. How about HAM? |
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Posted: 8/27/2016 12:53:18 AM EDT
[#45]
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How about HAM? Quote HistoryQuoted:
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No future wife pics? ... Are you marrying a dude? Is that why we don't have pics? I'm pretty sure it's a woman. I'll find out tomorrow night.
Just kidding, I've already eaten at that restaurant. Sausage was not on the menu. How about HAM? so what does HAM mean? Saw it on the Killery Hildabeast needs to go to jail thread. |
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Posted: 8/27/2016 12:55:57 AM EDT
[#46]
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?? It was a blast. Two weeks ago. Fished our dicks off. The smoked trout was fantastic. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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How's the bachelor party coming along ? Oh, wait..... Sorry. ?? It was a blast. Two weeks ago. Fished our dicks off. The smoked trout was fantastic. If that was really your bachelor party, you'll enjoy marriage. |
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Posted: 8/27/2016 12:56:39 AM EDT
[#47]
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How about HAM? Quote HistoryQuoted:
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No future wife pics? ... Are you marrying a dude? Is that why we don't have pics? I'm pretty sure it's a woman. I'll find out tomorrow night.
Just kidding, I've already eaten at that restaurant. Sausage was not on the menu. How about HAM? Full HAM? |
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Posted: 8/27/2016 12:58:30 AM EDT
[#48]
Good luck.
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Posted: 8/27/2016 1:01:21 AM EDT
[#49]
Quoted:
It's pretty exciting. You can ask me questions if you want, I guess. I might answer some of them. I probably won't ansewr them all. I really don't like most of you guys that much. Just drinking some Knob Creek on the rocks and playing some warship game. In my new house. Over a week off of work. Going up north to check the trail cameras and shoot some guns for part of the honeymoon. My life is awesome. What the fuck were you thinking? Give it time brother, that'll change soon enough... |
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Posted: 8/27/2016 1:03:30 AM EDT
[#50]
Marriage is great, don't let the riff-raff tell you otherwise. BTW, it's not to late you can walk now; it might be wise or not.
Good luck meng.... |
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