What's the stupidest way a co-worker ever got themselves unemployed? - Page 2

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - What's the stupidest way a co-worker ever got themselves unemployed? (Page 2 of 19)

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:10:16 PM EDT

[#1]

A cop I knew got fired and prosecuted for claiming personal vehicle expenses, etc., when he attended a conference three miles away in the next town. What's truly stupid is the amount of crap this guy got away with before he was fired. He requested third shift. He picked up the car at the start of the shift and parked it in his girlfriend's garage so he could screw and sleep the whole shift. He forcefully told the dispatchers not to call for his car when he did this. Forcefully means that he pulled his gun on a dispatcher who called him there.

Another genius got fired at a gun store after he announced his plan to put a loaded pistol in the showcase so he could 'find' it and be a hero.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:10:44 PM EDT

[#2]

Had a firefighter pass out in the station, he then took the surveillance video and posted it on facebook to get sympathy attention. Admin saw it, made a doctor's appointment (with our dept doc) for him to get checked out before he could return to duty.

He didn't feel like going, so he forged the doctor's release. Guy had 25 years on, lost his pension over it. Because he didn't want to go to a free doctor's appointment.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:10:58 PM EDT

[#3]

We had a guy get busted for porn -- after a first warning. He switched to Remote Desktop and continued to surf. That cost him an $80k/yr job in 2001. b'bye!

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:11:23 PM EDT

[#4]

Two guys got fired where I work for stealing all the batteries out of the vending machine. To get gloves safety glasses batteries etc. You have to swipe your employee badge to get the items. So it wasn't to hard to track down the battery bandits

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:11:41 PM EDT

[#5]

Not a coworker, but a friend of a friend got fired for using FedEx for personal use.

More specifically, for sending a sizeable amount of Marijuana.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:14:08 PM EDT

[#6]

Guy who I worked with started his own machine shop.

After a while, one of his customers had him basically flooded. They offered to buy his machines and let him come work for them. He agreed because he was so burnt out on all the hours.

He worked for them a few months when he was selected for a random whiz quiz which he failed cause he was and idiot and smoked pot.

So, he folded his business and then got fired basically in one shot.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:14:38 PM EDT

[#7]

Quote History

Quoted:
Murder.

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Giving or receiving?

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:16:47 PM EDT

[#8]

Quote History

Quoted:

SJW got into a political argument with a buddy of mine during a lunch meeting in the conference room and threw a sandwich at him.

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Nice! At least she knew her place as a sammich provider.

Had a coworker just get fired for wrecking his fourth company owned car. No drugs or alcohol, he just sucks at driving.

Had several CO's I worked with fucking inmates or trafficking shit, which is about as dumb as it gets in that profession.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:16:51 PM EDT

[#9]

One guy was fired after they found out about the 1000 plant pot bust on the guy. Should of been a flag when a guy making $10 an hour had 5 brand new cars.

Most interesting was a psychotic episode, guy started hitting his head with his fists and arguing with people that where not there.

A guy that the only 40 hour week he ever put in was the week he got laid off.

2 guys got canned for drag racing electric scooters in the building. During an OSHA audit, caught by OSHA.

Guy that made over a million dollars worth of receiving errors in 2 months.

Fired both guys that got into a box knife fight in the parking lot.

Learned to format the hard drive an reload the OS instead of seeing what kind of sick twisted crap was on most of the computers.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:17:33 PM EDT

[#10]

One banged a one legged hooker while providing security for an outdoor tent sale in front of a lowes. Another shot a man going the wrong way down his street.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:17:42 PM EDT

[#11]

Back in the day, the department I worked in as a contract employee decided to convert about half of their contract positions to actual FTE positions. Those who wanted a FTE spot applied and interviewed (same position, etc.). Management decided on the folks they wanted and, of course, all the positions were filled by "golden people." I was among those who did not get a FTE spot. I took the disappointing news and kept my piehole shut. One of my contractor co-workers who didn't get a spot decided that it would be a smart move to cuss out and yell at the hiring manager whilst telling him why he should have been hired, "you made a huge mistake," blah blah blah. He was shown the door immediately, and I eventually got a FTE spot.
The same guy was a notorious liar, and a bad one at that. For example, we had 0700 morning meetings and he blew in late one morning. "Oh, sorry I'm late. Yeah, I was working on something in the ER then I had to show some residents how to use the crash cart." 1. work started at 0700, there's no way he was there earlier, and 2. he wasn't a doctor, EMT, nurse, or any other stripe of medically trained person. Everyone kinda went

but nothing was done or said. That was months before he fired himself. He also used to boost his closed work order stats by going to see the people who initiated the work orders, sitting down at the PC, and (this was in the days of Windows 3.x) going into a DOS prompt and typing furiously. He'd type in commands that would scroll pages of text by so it looked to the non-technical folks like he was doing amazing and highly technical work. He'd type dir *.* /s, ctrl-C after enough text had flown by, then change directories a few times, just useless stuff all meant to act as a smokescreen. Then he'd tell them that they "should be all set" and would call in and close their ticket. Not at all surprisingly, everyone else had to pick up the call-backs and actually fix them. Class A dbag.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:19:03 PM EDT

[#12]

Huffing whipped cream stolen from a company refrigerator in the bathroom.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:20:49 PM EDT

[#13]

At a high school staff meeting the principal fired the IT guy for using his cell phone. She caught him looking at the phone while she was speaking. This was like a $70,000 job. She was a feisty, tiny, 60ish lady that scared most of the staff. After the meeting she told me to be in her office first thing in the morning. I knew I was next but when I showed up she just wanted to tell me I was doing a good job.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:20:54 PM EDT

[#14]

Quote History

Quoted:

Finding a passed out drunk coed, on his front porch, and bringing her inside to keep her "safe".

And yes, this was a LEO.

View Quote

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:24:50 PM EDT

[#15]

I was working for a roofing company and a co-worker got arrested one night for possession and a some other hinky shit. He got probation but one of the conditions was that he couldn't travel to jobsites, he had to stay at the construction office address all day (I guess so they could check on him?). In any case, his job required him to go to jobsites to install roofs, and his probation directly forbade travel. So my boss, (owner of company) said no problem, kid could just show up at the office, sweep floors, answer phones, unload deliveries (cake job) and he would still pay him his installer's wages, about $1,000 a week after taxes.

Kid worked one week. We got paid on Thursday mornings when we arrived at work. We all arrive, kid gets his check, says he needs to go deposit it, he'll be right back. Kid leaves and doesn't return. We all go to load up for the day's jobs and every power tool on every work truck, as well as every power tool stored in the warehouse, is gone. Something like twenty five cordless drills, twenty sawzalls, dozen circular saws, plus a couple propane rigs and a half-dozen odd tools like hammer drills, air chisels, and some small generators. Everything gone. Kid had cut a hole in the roof back in a dark corner of the warehouse, covered it with some corrugated panels sometime wednesday and taken everything out that night.

Boss calls the cops, send us out to check pawn shops. We found most of it at a shop down the street. Kid had to show ID and give a thumb print to pawn it, which he gladly did. Dumbass. Took the cops about an hour to find him, he was at home. Only took an hour because the cops didn't think he'd be stupid enough to go home.

My boss flipped the fuck out over it, he'd really bent over backwards to help the kid.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:26:38 PM EDT

[#16]

Quote History

Quoted:
Most illegal, was reimbursing their own insurance claims that weren't even real. Also they were submitting fake expenses to get re funded with pre-tax dollars and refunding them selves.

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Local SO had a clerk doing that. 21 totaled cruisers over like 6 years, cruisers that never got wrecked. She just deposited the checks in her own account.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:27:47 PM EDT

[#17]

Fired a guy for smoking pot on the hood of a cop car. It was an awkward conversation to have with the cop who caught him.

I fired another guy for stealing 5 bucks from a wallet he found. Fucking stupid to get fired over 5 bucks. If he needed 5 bucks I would have just given him it from own wallet.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:27:55 PM EDT

[#18]

not first hand experience, but my manager told me once that at a previous job he was a manager at, they had to fire an entire sales department because they were all watching porn on their office computers.

company my wife used to work for, one of the field guys was driving another field guy who was drunk, back from the bar in his personal vehicle. dude stops to get gas or go to the ATM or something, drunk guy gets in the console of the truck and finds his pistol and manages to shoot himself with it.
not sure if drunk guy got fired, but nice guy driving him home sure did get shitcanned.

one of the admins i worked with didn't make her 90 days probation because she was creeping on all of the managers, her browser history showed she had looked everyone up on the county tax records.

on the other end of the spectrum, a really nice HR guy at my wife's old company got fired because he "showed up late and left early (everyone was also doing the same)" the week of christmas, after he had showed up early one day to find the (divorcing) HR girl making out with one of the (married) sales guys in the parking garage.

EDIT: what might be really interesting is shit that people pulled and DIDN'T get fired for
one lady booked a hotel contract for one night when it should have been for 5 nights. In a busy tourist town in their busiest part of the year. nobody knew until the group showed up and our guy is standing there holding his dick in front of 20 pissed off tired people at the end of day one. rumor was she offered her resignation but it wasn't accepted, she just got less work, and eventually a promotion and pay raise, last i saw her she was only working about half the day, the other half she just BS'd with coworkers and shopped online.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:30:32 PM EDT

[#19]

Another one... I knew a gal who worked in Accounting. She took advantage of the fact that the company CEO would request money all the time, and no one ever questioned him about the expenditures. (His stuff was all legit as far as I know, and none of it off the books.) She started cutting checks in his name, then forging his signature on them and pocketing the cash. She went out on maternity leave, audit of her work was done. Poof, no more job. Never heard if they pursued legal action against her.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:32:01 PM EDT

[#20]

Donning a respirator and pouring a fairly intense acid over his head. Yes, he failed the drug test.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:33:11 PM EDT

[#21]

Quote History

Quoted:
Fucking an inmate
Stealing from the coffee money jar

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1.) +1
2.) +1
3.) something something pound of weed

there have been times i have seen monthly perp walks out of work, and those were only the serious ones as we could not afford to arrest all of the employees at the same time.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:33:51 PM EDT

[#22]

Quote History

Quoted:

This. After almost 11 years, I've seen multiple officers fired for screwing inmates. Mostly female officers screwing male inmates. I've also seen officers smuggle in contraband, like tobacco, pills, etc..

View Quote View All Quotes

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Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
Fucking an inmate

This. After almost 11 years, I've seen multiple officers fired for screwing inmates. Mostly female officers screwing male inmates. I've also seen officers smuggle in contraband, like tobacco, pills, etc..

Not even surprised when it happens anymore. We just fire them and prosecute

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:34:51 PM EDT

[#23]

Dude got hammered at a work dinner with a vendor and whipped out his dick to the female vendor. She was hot and all but not worth your job.. Fired the next day.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:35:05 PM EDT

[#24]

Guy was taking aluminum molds (waiting for cleaning) and loading them in his truck and taking them to the local scrapyard.
Just filled up the back of his truck every night, after the rest of us went home.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:35:56 PM EDT

[#25]

Worked at a classified DOE facility with a guy.

He comes in on a Monday morning and starts describing his weekend to his boss and how he had tried cocaine at a party.

He was sent to the infirmary for a pee test and sure enough he tested positive. He was fired.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:37:04 PM EDT

[#26]

Quote History

Quoted:
Doc and Nurse were caught fucking in the on call room.

Too stupid to lock the fucking door.

She was a nasty skank by the way too.

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About 90% of the surgical residents would have been fired if this had been enforced 20 years ago.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:37:15 PM EDT

[#27]

Quote History

Quoted:
Pissing out side the employee entrance in FULL VIEW of cars and other employees.

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Wait. Is that wrong? I thought it was just frowned upon?

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:37:27 PM EDT

[#28]

Sysadmin deleted a 3TB production database by mistake, taking down the ecommerce site for about 2 days. This was in the middle of the day in response to some minor issue that he was looking into.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:38:58 PM EDT

[#29]

Fired and put one in jail that was forging orders from her reserve unit.
She would present orders saying she had training for such and such weeks. My agency pays when off on military orders. She had been doing this for a while.
She was on a different shift than mine (was the sgt). The other sgt. told me she was going on another training rotation to NTC for 3 days I quizzed him about the other times and saw right through the bullshit.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:39:01 PM EDT

[#30]

Quote History

Quoted:
Murder.

View Quote

You win!

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:42:51 PM EDT

[#31]

At a law firm I used to work at the library director and a guy from IT were caught having sex in a bathroom. They didn't get fired until they were again caught having sex but this time in an attorney's office. They were married, but not to each other.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:42:52 PM EDT

[#32]

Stealing aviation fuel for use in personal vehicles got about 8 people fired at once.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:43:21 PM EDT

[#33]

Quote History

Quoted:
Not a coworker, but a friend of a friend got fired for using FedEx for personal use.

More specifically, for sending a sizeable amount of Marijuana.

View Quote

I know someone who did the same thing, except he used UPS. He probably would have gotten away with it, but he had the UPS store boxed up the books and coffee it was hidden in because he didn't want to box them up himself.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:43:59 PM EDT

[#34]

Asking for a kickback check for approving a special recognition award.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:44:31 PM EDT

[#35]

Had a manager get fired for using the Corporate contact database to sell Amway. To senior management and executives..

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:45:54 PM EDT

[#36]

2 guys got canned for drag racing electric scooters in the building. During an OSHA audit, caught by OSHA.

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That is awesome. Can you imagine explaining that during an interview with a potential employer?

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:46:08 PM EDT

[#37]

Watching porn on a company-owned computer, on company premises, on duty.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:46:11 PM EDT

[#38]

Embezzling over $500K. Is now being sued by the ex-employer for restitution and I think the case is airtight. Was a 16 year employee, probably made 250 large a year. He thought he was untouchable. He'll be lucky if they don't slap the bracelets on him.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:47:04 PM EDT

[#39]

Shoplifting at Walmart while wearing the uniform from one EMS service that he worked for and a baseball cap from the other service that he worked for.

Dancing in front of the stage at a Luke Bryan concert while she was supposed to be on an event standby ambulance. Some kid had an asthma attack and nobody could find her.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:47:34 PM EDT

[#40]

Quote History

Quoted:
Stealing aviation fuel for use in personal vehicles got about 8 people fired at once.

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i know nothing about aviation fuel, but it strikes me that that might not be healthy for automobile engines. Amirite?

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:48:13 PM EDT

[#41]

New hire.
Was told to be in at 5:30 to start.
Replied, I can't be in until 7:00.
Showed up at 10:30.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:49:09 PM EDT

[#42]

Had a guy that would go out to his car during breaks and take shots of whiskey. He didn't think there should have been a problem with that....he was on brake

Needless to say, he didn't last very long.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:49:36 PM EDT

[#43]

Just a few months ago a guy at our field office was working outside approximately 50 feet from a major highway and dropped his pants because "he was hot and needed to air out the boys".

He was standing there in his boxers with his pants around his ankle's when a female HR employee walked out and saw him.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:50:58 PM EDT

[#44]

A guy with 40 years in the mill got cought by a female intern with his dick in his hand.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:51:28 PM EDT

[#45]

Years back I worked for a large telco that would take huge corporate (think Ford) bills and transfer them to microfiche. The printing and sorting of the fiche was a truly boring job, but one that this person was assigned to do. They decided that it would be better to let the printer run all night and take the fiche home to be sorted in front of the TV and bring the sorted fiche back on their next shift. That worked well until they got into a traffic accident and the responding police officer called and asked if we wanted the fiche (marked confidential) before the car was towed.

Another was caught on camera during their shift smoking weed on the back loading dock. The union got them back on the job with back pay until they screwed up again and fired the 'correct' way the second time.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:53:56 PM EDT

[#46]

guy was scheduled to work a weekend.

guy claimed he couldn't work, had air national guard duty, so was excused

Many co-workers watched Wrestlemania that weekend. Saw the guy, front row seat.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:55:10 PM EDT

[#47]

I worked a construction job building a dam, a guy shows up late as usual and wearing flip flops.

Boss asks where are his steel toe boots, he said he left them at home because they hurt his feet and didn't feel he needed them. And wasn't going to.

Boss scratched his head and told him to go home and heal those feet and dont come back.

Miner had 50lbs of powder left over after he loaded his drilled out round.

Instead of taking it back to the powder mag, he stuck a cap in it and set it off going off shift.

The next shift came on and went to work that area and found blowed back and fubar utilities. A huge mess.And a crater that pointed to the cause of the mess.

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:58:05 PM EDT

[#48]

customer shuttle driver through the dealer.

guy (was an asshole) made a shortcut through a parking lot going 50 mph, someone yelled at him to slow down, he told them to fuck off.

turns out that someone was a police officer in plain clothes.. he saw the dealer name on the side and drove to the dealer and waited in the managers office...

driver got back with some customers, was asked quietly to go into the managers office, where to his surprise the guy he yelled at was standing in the office with a badge in his hand. he was removed from the property and it was great

he was a douche we all laughed at him as he drove off...

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:58:30 PM EDT

[#49]

Blow jobs behind dumpster

Stealing food from the break room

Falling asleep on second shift in the shitter with door locked as people banged on it and would not wake up

Punching in then leaving

Pulling up to liquor store every morning in company truck that was marked up like a billboard and then sitting in truck and drinking.

Sexual harassment of a customer

Slapping a co workers ass

Fucking the sales team one by one and then bragging about it

Telling me to go fuck myself

Posted: 8/17/2016 1:59:02 PM EDT

[#50]

Boos took us all out for lunch, local mag. called "Busted" that shows people 's mug shots and arrest for the month in that area. co-worker was on front page, wear Co. t shirt....Boss wasn't happy he was "representing" the Co. in that way

Plus the drug charges and endangering a minor. He was arrested with meth, with his daughter in the car.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - What's the stupidest way a co-worker ever got themselves unemployed? (Page 2 of 19)

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