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Posted: 5/28/2016 11:35:56 AM EDT
[#1]
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I get really frustrated with my little guy when he wakes up in the middle of the night....but understand that he's an infant. They have different needs than adults and even older children. Most of the time he's crying because his eczema is bothering him, or as simple as he kicked off the blanket and can't figure out how to get it back on. I understand WHY you want to ignore the kid, trust me I do. If thats what works for you, then thats great. I dont subscribe to ignoring them because crying is their only way to comminicate. He's needs something. Is it annoying? Yea. Will I go running when he cries? Not right away. But I will go check on him and make sure he's ok. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile Read the thread. It isn't ignoring. Last night was the most I have EVER attended to him at night. The difference is, you just don't pick him up and take him into bed with you. You pat his back, rub his cheeks, soothe him, tell him it's okay, all while he is in his crib. Then you leave the room for 10 minutes. It was the most work I have put in during the night with him EVER. Yet people jeep saying I am ignoring him or abandoning him. This isnt the "easy" way for parents. Quite the opposite. |
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Posted: 5/28/2016 11:45:17 AM EDT
[#2]
Maybe....
We did the "cry it out" method with two kids. I think it worked. Sometimes, took a couple of hours. |
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Posted: 5/28/2016 11:58:23 AM EDT
[#3]
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Read the thread. It isn't ignoring. Last night was the most I have EVER attended to him at night. The difference is, you just don't pick him up and take him into bed with you. You pat his back, rub his cheeks, soothe him, tell him it's okay, all while he is in his crib. Then you leave the room for 10 minutes. It was the most work I have put in during the night with him EVER. Yet people jeep saying I am ignoring him or abandoning him. This isnt the "easy" way for parents. Quite the opposite. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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I get really frustrated with my little guy when he wakes up in the middle of the night....but understand that he's an infant. They have different needs than adults and even older children. Most of the time he's crying because his eczema is bothering him, or as simple as he kicked off the blanket and can't figure out how to get it back on. I understand WHY you want to ignore the kid, trust me I do. If thats what works for you, then thats great. I dont subscribe to ignoring them because crying is their only way to comminicate. He's needs something. Is it annoying? Yea. Will I go running when he cries? Not right away. But I will go check on him and make sure he's ok. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile Read the thread. It isn't ignoring. Last night was the most I have EVER attended to him at night. The difference is, you just don't pick him up and take him into bed with you. You pat his back, rub his cheeks, soothe him, tell him it's okay, all while he is in his crib. Then you leave the room for 10 minutes. It was the most work I have put in during the night with him EVER. Yet people jeep saying I am ignoring him or abandoning him. This isnt the "easy" way for parents. Quite the opposite. A lot of our sleeping issues stemmed from my daughter refusing to eat anything other than breastmilk straight from the tap. While my wife was working it was difficult to get her to sleep on her own. The one time I thought cry it out worked I came up to find my daughter covered in her own vomit. We ended up cos leering with her so my wife could actually sleep and my daughter eat. At about 1 year old my wife quit her job and within about 3 weeks something clicked and she started sleeping alone in her crib through the night. I think some kids just take a while to develop the capacity to know mom will be there when they wake. Your boy should be close to that at 11 months old really. But what kid at that age is at all rational. 
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Posted: 5/28/2016 12:05:02 PM EDT
[#4]
It takes sometime, but it is for the best. As for length of time it depends for each child, one thing you need to do is stop going in and checking as often.
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Posted: 5/28/2016 12:09:33 PM EDT
[#5]
I love how this place is "MYOB" until it comes to telling someone how to raise their own child.
Then it's My Way, or the Highway. |
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Posted: 5/28/2016 1:04:19 PM EDT
[#6]
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That's what I'm thinking after last night. Seemed to restart the cycle a bit coming in every 10, not really letting him calm down. But I understand that it is to make it so he doesn't feel abandoned. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Tonight we are supposed to lengthen the coming into his room from every 10 minutes to 12-15. Then lengthen again on 3rd night, till eventually it stops. Dude switch it up to at least an hour 12 minutes is gonna get y'all no where That's what I'm thinking after last night. Seemed to restart the cycle a bit coming in every 10, not really letting him calm down. But I understand that it is to make it so he doesn't feel abandoned. To me it seems like it would reward crying as a way to get what the kid wants You guys seem like super attentive parents the kid won't feel abandoned if during waking hours y'all are servicing its needs imo nighttime is for sleeping |
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Posted: 5/28/2016 7:44:04 PM EDT
[#7]
Didn't do it with my first two kids... First one was hell for sleeping. Second was okay.
Third was horrible again, and we tried this method. Worked GREAT! Forth started out difficult again, and we remembered this method. Took like two days, and never had another issue. I think it works. |
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Posted: 5/28/2016 10:39:28 PM EDT
[#8]
Night 2 is about to start. I am so tired from last night.
But I bought some red bull. |
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Posted: 5/28/2016 10:44:43 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Night 2 is about to start. I am so tired from last night. But I bought some red bull. Give it at least 30 minutes between visits tonight and update us in the morning. Do you and your wife take shifts, so that you can at least get 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep? Reason I ask is that sleep deprivation is a bitch... enough nights of that and you will want to toss the kid out the window. |
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Posted: 5/28/2016 11:13:03 PM EDT
[#10]
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Yeah. Give that kid some titty. The "cry it out" method is reinforcing the idea that, during a time of need, you aren't there for them. Great fucking concept. Take care of your God damned child. We did the opposite. Our infants slept in the bed with us, and my wife made the boob available. We never slept better than when our babies were nursing infants, True story. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Feed him. Yeah. Give that kid some titty. The "cry it out" method is reinforcing the idea that, during a time of need, you aren't there for them. Great fucking concept. Take care of your God damned child. We did the opposite. Our infants slept in the bed with us, and my wife made the boob available. We never slept better than when our babies were nursing infants, True story. This. Our kids slept with us in bed. The sleep is worth it. The kids are fine. |
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Posted: 5/28/2016 11:15:42 PM EDT
[#11]
Kid's not going to be scarred for life over being left to cry
We did it with our son after three nights or so he'd only cry when he had reason IE explosive poop, teething etc.. |
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Posted: 5/28/2016 11:26:13 PM EDT
[#12]
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This. Our kids slept with us in bed. The sleep is worth it. The kids are fine. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Feed him. Yeah. Give that kid some titty. The "cry it out" method is reinforcing the idea that, during a time of need, you aren't there for them. Great fucking concept. Take care of your God damned child. We did the opposite. Our infants slept in the bed with us, and my wife made the boob available. We never slept better than when our babies were nursing infants, True story. This. Our kids slept with us in bed. The sleep is worth it. The kids are fine. Nursing infants are smothered to death every day from sleeping in the bed with their parents.
But to let them cry until they become comfortable enough to be by themselves long enough to fall asleep is bad? Different strokes for different folks but leaving a small baby in the bed with you is lazy and dangerous. |
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Posted: 5/28/2016 11:31:04 PM EDT
[#13]
Depends on the kid. Trust your instincts.
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Posted: 5/28/2016 11:34:20 PM EDT
[#14]
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We did. Worked great. Only time my little guy wakes up now is when he's hungry because he's growing like crazy. Same for all three of our kids. We did it from the beginning, so its hard to say how long it took to get into the rhythm. |
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Posted: 5/28/2016 11:38:26 PM EDT
[#15]
Yep, it was ultimately the only thing that worked for us. We tried Ferber, sleeping in his room (a chair) until our son was asleep and bribing. Set your limit, it's different for all parents but generally two hours max. Don't give in once you start, no matter how much your wife wants to and yes you will have to block her from going.
Good luck, it sucks...I was a god damn zombie for a year. |
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Posted: 5/28/2016 11:40:16 PM EDT
[#16]
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Night 2 is about to start. I am so tired from last night. But I bought some red bull. Giving the kid red bull strikes me as counter-productive. |
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Posted: 5/28/2016 11:44:13 PM EDT
[#17]
It won't hurt them to lay in there and cry a bit. At 11 months he is figuring out where he fits in to the family and whether or not you all will jump at every whimper he makes. If the crying bothers you turn up the tv or buy some headphones.
The youngest of our 3 went through a stage where he just wanted to wake up and see us in the middle of the night. At first it was harmless, he just wanted a little 2 am titty like anyone would. It turned into a full on revolt, screaming and carrying on from midnight though 6 am. Finally I put a stop to it by going in and giving him a good swat during one of his 3:30 temper tantrums. After that he figured out that waking us up to socialize in the middle of the night wasn't going to provide the desired result. In all fairness we unwittingly trained him to expect us to wake up and cuddle him. That's part of what makes breaking them of it so hard. Something else to remember around bedtime is routine. Make bedtime an enjoyable time. Bedtime story, brushing teeth, hugs and kisses, say prayers, whatever you need to do to make it nice for them. But make sure that once lights are out it's clear that it's time to sleep. |
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Posted: 5/28/2016 11:51:44 PM EDT
[#18]
No, we never did the "cry it out method".
We didn't like the idea of our kids laying there in a dirty diaper, hungry, in vomit, or whatever else. It's a baby, it can't take care of itself, crying is its only way to communicate a need or want. Your kid, your rules. |
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Posted: 5/28/2016 11:54:58 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It won't hurt them to lay in there and cry a bit. At 11 months he is figuring out where he fits in to the family and whether or not you all will jump at every whimper he makes. If the crying bothers you turn up the tv or buy some headphones. The youngest of our 3 went through a stage where he just wanted to wake up and see us in the middle of the night. At first it was harmless, he just wanted a little 2 am titty like anyone would. It turned into a full on revolt, screaming and carrying on from midnight though 6 am. Finally I put a stop to it by going in and giving him a good swat during one of his 3:30 temper tantrums. After that he figured out that waking us up to socialize in the middle of the night wasn't going to provide the desired result. In all fairness we unwittingly trained him to expect us to wake up and cuddle him. That's part of what makes breaking them of it so hard. Something else to remember around bedtime is routine. Make bedtime an enjoyable time. Bedtime story, brushing teeth, hugs and kisses, say prayers, whatever you need to do to make it nice for them. But make sure that once lights are out it's clear that it's time to sleep. Exactly this. You train them or they train you. If they figure out they control you by 1 or 2 years old you don't stand a chance in the future. |
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Posted: 5/29/2016 12:17:27 AM EDT
[#20]
Dbl post
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Posted: 5/29/2016 12:18:02 AM EDT
[#21]
Update:
Oh shit. I drank the red Bull but he has been asleep for 2 hours steady from the first time he went down tonight. I see he is playing chess, not checkers. |
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Posted: 5/29/2016 12:23:22 AM EDT
[#22]
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When he cries, peek in the room and squirt him with a water pistol. 
GD has the best advice. |
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Posted: 5/29/2016 12:24:53 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Update: Oh shit. I drank the red Bull but he has been asleep for 2 hours steady from the first time he went down tonight. I see he is playing chess, not checkers. He's waiting for your eyes to slowly close as your sugar high is receding, then the crying game begins! LOL |
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Posted: 5/29/2016 12:40:28 AM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
GD has the best advice. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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When he cries, peek in the room and squirt him with a water pistol.
GD has the best advice. This made me laugh out loud. |
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Posted: 5/29/2016 1:52:15 AM EDT
[#25]
Night 2 update:
He woke up crying at 3 hrs. Not wet, shouldn't be hungry. Went into room to pat on back and sooth. He cried hard for another 20 minutes. Now is asleep again. Already went from hours yesterday to minutes today. |
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Posted: 5/29/2016 2:00:16 AM EDT
[#26]
Crying sees to work on some and not others. We were lucky in that they never cried unless they were hungry.
Some of our foster babies would scream for hours and hours if you let them. The only way was to snuggle them until they started sleeping again. |
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Posted: 5/29/2016 2:18:07 AM EDT
[#27]
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Night 2 update: He woke up crying at 3 hrs. Not wet, shouldn't be hungry. Went into room to pat on back and sooth. He cried hard for another 20 minutes. Now is asleep again. Already went from hours yesterday to minutes today. Hope it works (I imagine it will)... My Mom is a big believer in when a kid was crying (unless they were hurt or in danger) waiting at least 10min before going to them. None of us are scarred from it. Like you said, before long... when they cry... something is wrong. Only one of us she's ever discussed as "needy" is my oldest sister... I remember a stretch where she was up all night for a couple days, and my Mom did the whole "cry it out" thing. I was young, but I know it didn't last long. |
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Posted: 5/29/2016 2:33:51 AM EDT
[#28]
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Then WHY are you asking for advice? Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Babies cry for a reason, and they aren't supposed to be "toughened up" Nurture the baby, you wont spoil it. Trust me, there is thousands of years of evolution vs. the stupid furber method. I have 4 kids and they are all very secure and confident and not clingy. And we did not ever let them "Cry it out" Now that they are older, I miss them being little and wanting all that attention. When you ignore the baby for hours, they eventually give up. Think about that for a minute. You are TEACHING your baby that you ARENT there for them, so crying is futile. Does that make ANY sense to your parental instincts? Not ignoring him for hours. I have my phone stopwatch set. First time, 3 minutes, second 3minutes, then 5, then 5, then every ten minutes going in and rubbing his back and cheeks and head. And comforting him. Waking up every hour and learning to get us to console him and eventually take him into our bed was not working. He was learning to repeat that pattern.does that make any sense? Why reinforce that? I have read that most kids this age will be fine after 3 nights of this. They are resilient. Then WHY are you asking for advice? Yeah, this. I have 4 kids, each one is different. Bottle feeding gets them to sleep longer, IMHO (my wife breastfed each one). Maybe to some extent letting them have a chance to self-sooth makes sense, don't go overboard with that. I'd say give them a few minutes to go back to sleep. If that doesn't work, try picking them up and holding them a bit, If that doesn't work, feed them. Basically process of elimination. Don't feel guilty, everyone goes through it. |
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Posted: 5/29/2016 11:59:05 PM EDT
[#29]
Night 3 starting.
Went on a nice hike today. Boy fell asleep in mommas front load pack on way back with cool misty air and sounds of birds. Slept for a couple hours in the day. Then we played and 0racticed walking (with him holding onto my hands for stability). Put down about an hour ago for night.been sleeping since. |
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Posted: 5/30/2016 12:02:32 AM EDT
[#30]
We tried it. It didn't work. I think it might work for some kids, but it's silly to think all parenting methods will work with all kids.
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Posted: 5/30/2016 12:11:31 AM EDT
[#31]
"Pull it out" method works better than any of this shit.
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Posted: 5/30/2016 12:13:53 AM EDT
[#32]
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"Pull it out" method works better than any of this shit. Wouldn't have helped with us. Ivf |
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Posted: 5/30/2016 12:16:25 AM EDT
[#33]
We used sleep sacks/swaddles since he was a baby. Slept in a bassinet in our room for a couple months then moved him to his room. Used a sound machine and that kid slept through the night starting at 3 months old and hasn't missed a beat. We were blessed in how well he sleeps.
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Posted: 5/30/2016 12:18:47 AM EDT
[#34]
My sister was in a bad habit of waking up in the middle night due getting accustomed to be fed. Eventually they just let her cry it out till she saw it wasn't working then went back to sleep.
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Posted: 5/30/2016 12:28:55 AM EDT
[#35]
Update night 3. Woke up and cried for 8 minutes. Then went back to sleep.
So far,that's a huge improvement and quick |
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Posted: 5/30/2016 12:30:05 AM EDT
[#36]
I'm so glad I don't have kids.
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Posted: 5/30/2016 12:31:45 AM EDT
[#37]
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11 Mos is way past swaddling age isn't it? Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Swaddle him. Yall messed up by not keeping his feet covered. (Its my Mothers old wives tale) it did work. Try running a hair blow dryer next to his bed.( We burnt up two of them) Run it on cool, its kinda like white noise. It worked. Right on, my MOTHER was smart. Swaddle them and keep their feet covered. 11 Mos is way past swaddling age isn't it? The kid already has an MOS? I thought they couldn't even take the ASVAB until high school..... |
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Posted: 5/30/2016 12:32:25 AM EDT
[#38]
Teething, bad dreams, or separation anxiety. I would guess it's the latter. It's a phase, sometimes difficult. Babies do wake up throughout the night, but you are at the age of separation anxiety, so they are going to not like waking up alone, hence the crying.
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Posted: 5/30/2016 12:34:08 AM EDT
[#39]
Sadly, many parents don't realize that their kids actually have acid reflux. that is some bad stuff. They don't cry for no reason. There is a reason and it isn't just because they want you around. Every kid is different so you just have to figure out what they need.
Edit- there are some good over the counter meds for acid reflux. I would ween the kid off of you being around. Not just drop him and not come back in the room till the morning. Looks like you are doing ok. |
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Posted: 5/30/2016 12:40:41 AM EDT
[#40]
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Sadly, many parents don't realize that their kids actually have acid reflux. that is some bad stuff. They don't cry for no reason. There is a reason and it isn't just because they want you around. Every kid is different so you just have to figure out what they need. Well the impetus for trying this wasn't really about crying. He never really cried much (cause we never let him). He'd wake up, cry for 30 seconds and we'd rush into his room, pick him up and comfort him and he'd go back to sleep quickly. The problem was that he was beginning to do this every hour, until we finally would just take him into our bed and sleep (out of our own exhaustion). It was not working like that. So we did this method to train him to sleep in his own room, for longer periods at a time. |
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Posted: 5/30/2016 12:44:33 AM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Well the impetus for trying this wasn't really about crying. He never really cried much (cause we never let him). He'd wake up, cry for 30 seconds and we'd rush into his room, pick him up and comfort him and he'd go back to sleep quickly. The problem was that he was beginning to do this every hour, until we finally would just take him into our bed and sleep (out of our own exhaustion). It was not working like that. So we did this method to train him to sleep in his own room, for longer periods at a time. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Sadly, many parents don't realize that their kids actually have acid reflux. that is some bad stuff. They don't cry for no reason. There is a reason and it isn't just because they want you around. Every kid is different so you just have to figure out what they need. Well the impetus for trying this wasn't really about crying. He never really cried much (cause we never let him). He'd wake up, cry for 30 seconds and we'd rush into his room, pick him up and comfort him and he'd go back to sleep quickly. The problem was that he was beginning to do this every hour, until we finally would just take him into our bed and sleep (out of our own exhaustion). It was not working like that. So we did this method to train him to sleep in his own room, for longer periods at a time. Yes, ween the kid slowly. So, it looks like you are doing it right. I have three and each was different. I was like you... I let the wife get a good nights rest and I just got addicted to energy drinks. Edit- I am not like a lot of dads I see on this forum. I didn't try to get them to bed so I could catch up with ESPN or something lame. I actually miss them as babies/toddlers. It was tough but worthwhile. They don't stay little for long. |
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Posted: 5/30/2016 10:25:56 AM EDT
[#42]
Night 3 update : slept the whole night after that one wake and short cry.
Woke up just talking this morning. Not crying. (First time for that, ever). |
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Posted: 5/30/2016 12:03:24 PM EDT
[#43]
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Night 3 update : slept the whole night after that one wake and short cry. Woke up just talking this morning. Not crying. (First time for that, ever). Good to hear OP! Our son's sleeping habits got progressively worse by 7 months. It was to the point where he was waking up every 15-20 minutes. My wife or I would fall asleep in the floor by his crib and rub his cheek as soon as he woke up. We decided to try the cry it out method. First night was hell. Absolute hell for all of us. Second night was way better and by the third night he almost slept through the night. He's been fine ever since. He's now almost 7 and our bedtime routine consists of reading him (or him reading us) a book, and then I say goodnight and he falls asleep within minutes. I think it taught him to self soothe and taught him how to fall asleep on his own. It worked on my daughter too when she was young, but she wasn't nearly as bad as he was. Just make sure they're not cold, wet, or have an ear infection, reflux etc and keep going in there at longer intervals. It was a godsend for us |
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Posted: 5/30/2016 12:46:01 PM EDT
[#44]
Glad it's working OP. Don't get discouraged if he relapses a little, just stick with the plan that's working for you.
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Posted: 5/30/2016 9:49:49 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Night 3 update : slept the whole night after that one wake and short cry. Woke up just talking this morning. Not crying. (First time for that, ever). Sounds like it's had the desired effect... glad it worked out. |
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Posted: 5/30/2016 10:09:03 PM EDT
[#46]
Get a mattress or soft pad, and put it next to his crib.
Someone sleeps on it, the kid can see you. When he wakes up, shoosh him, and/or reach up and pat him a bit. A days, weeks, months of doing that MIGHT help. 
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Posted: 5/31/2016 3:42:40 PM EDT
[#47]
Night 4 update :
Woke once at 9pm and cried for 7 minutes then went to sleep till 230am. Nused at 230 and woke up at 6. Seems like it worked. |
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Posted: 6/7/2016 7:32:50 PM EDT
[#48]
Update?
Going through this as well. |
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Posted: 6/7/2016 7:38:54 PM EDT
[#49]
Wow. Seems like it's working. Hoping the best for y'all. Keep with it. Even if you hit snags from schedule, sickness, or other stuff. Just start back at it and get the kido sleeping so you guys can too.
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Posted: 6/7/2016 7:40:31 PM EDT
[#50]
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Update? Going through this as well. Been a while, huh. It worked fine and fast. He began sleeping all night through and maybe waking once for a few minutes or to feed once. Waking up calmer too. Definitely worked and was worth it. |
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