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Posted: 5/2/2016 11:26:09 AM EDT


Hey, baby, fill me out


Hey, baby fill me in
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 11:27:59 AM EDT
[#1]
Fuck you.

Fuck me.
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 11:29:24 AM EDT
[#2]
I helped my uncle Jack off a horse

I helped my uncle jack off a horse
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 11:29:39 AM EDT
[#3]
Do you want to eat, uncle Bob?

Do you want to eat uncle Bob?
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 11:30:02 AM EDT
[#4]
Let's eat grandma!

Let's eat, grandma!
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 11:31:49 AM EDT
[#5]
We invited the strippers, JFK, and Stalin.

We invited the strippers, JFK and Stalin.
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 11:33:05 AM EDT
[#6]
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 11:33:12 AM EDT
[#7]
I saw my son wearing my rubber boots the other day and told him that those are the boots I use to go outside and pee at night, only I said that those are the boots I pee in at night...  

Link Posted: 5/2/2016 11:33:13 AM EDT
[#8]


 
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 11:37:36 AM EDT
[#9]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
We should have had pizza instead of burgers last night. - A fairly normal thing to say.

We should of had pizza instead of burgers last night. - Lets everyone know you're a fucking moron.
View Quote


See also: "I could care less."
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 11:44:41 AM EDT
[#10]
ETA: Beat



Help your Uncle Jack off the horse.





help your uncle jack off the horse.





Capitalization matters.



 
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 11:57:20 AM EDT
[#11]
Dog bites man.
Man bites dog.
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 11:58:21 AM EDT
[#12]
A panda eats shoots and leaves.



A panda eats, shoots, and leaves.
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 12:05:22 PM EDT
[#13]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
We invited the strippers, JFK, and Stalin.

We invited the strippers, JFK and Stalin.
View Quote


2 posts.  You have a former name?  

But seriously, Oxford commas matter.
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 12:37:29 PM EDT
[#14]
The pen is mightier than the sword.
The penis, mightier than the sword.
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 12:44:00 PM EDT
[#15]
A women, without her, man is nothing.



A women without her man, is nothing.
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 12:46:59 PM EDT
[#16]
Saying you "busted ass" instead of "busted your ass." The former means you passed gas, the latter means you worked hard.
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 12:48:34 PM EDT
[#17]
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 12:48:45 PM EDT
[#18]
Quoted:


Hey, baby, fill me out


Hey, baby fill me in
View Quote


Hey baby, fill me up
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 12:53:30 PM EDT
[#19]

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


We should have had pizza instead of burgers last night. - A fairly normal thing to say.



We should of had pizza instead of burgers last night. - Lets everyone know you're a fucking moron.
View Quote
You do know what a contraction is and how to pronounce "should've", I presume?
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 12:57:03 PM EDT
[#20]
The panda eats shoots and leaves.

The panda eats, shoots, and leaves.
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 12:58:08 PM EDT
[#21]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


See also: "I could care less."
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
We should have had pizza instead of burgers last night. - A fairly normal thing to say.

We should of had pizza instead of burgers last night. - Lets everyone know you're a fucking moron.


See also: "I could care less."



I could care less, I'm just not not sure how....
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 12:58:14 PM EDT
[#22]
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 1:01:29 PM EDT
[#23]
Get out of here!


Get in here!


Link Posted: 5/2/2016 1:07:01 PM EDT
[#24]
I miss the earth so much I miss my wife.

I miss the earth so much, I miss my wife.

Link Posted: 5/2/2016 1:09:41 PM EDT
[#25]
You can love your self.

You can fuck yourself.
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 1:26:40 PM EDT
[#26]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
We should have had pizza instead of burgers last night. - A fairly normal thing to say.

We should of had pizza instead of burgers last night. - Lets everyone know you're a fucking moron.
View Quote


truth
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 2:20:46 PM EDT
[#27]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
You do know what a contraction is and how to pronounce "should've", I presume?
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
We should have had pizza instead of burgers last night. - A fairly normal thing to say.

We should of had pizza instead of burgers last night. - Lets everyone know you're a fucking moron.
You do know what a contraction is and how to pronounce "should've", I presume?



Beat me to it.
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 8:20:56 PM EDT
[#28]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
We invited the strippers, JFK, and Stalin.

We invited the strippers, JFK and Stalin.
View Quote




Link Posted: 5/2/2016 8:28:23 PM EDT
[#29]
Dr. Smith, therapist

Dr. Smith, the rapist


Pen island

Penisland


Reckless driver vs. wreckless driver
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 8:30:48 PM EDT
[#30]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:



I could care less, I'm just not not sure how....
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
We should have had pizza instead of burgers last night. - A fairly normal thing to say.

We should of had pizza instead of burgers last night. - Lets everyone know you're a fucking moron.


See also: "I could care less."



I could care less, I'm just not not sure how....

It requires hiring a hypnotist, and I don't care about it enough to care less.
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 8:37:42 PM EDT
[#31]
baby, making faces.

baby making faces.

she has a crack baby.

she has, a crack baby.

J-
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 8:40:33 PM EDT
[#32]
Bless your heart

Go fuck yourself
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 8:44:33 PM EDT
[#33]
Don't, stop.

Don't stop.
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 8:48:44 PM EDT
[#34]
Vote Hilary!



Vote Trump!
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 9:08:38 PM EDT
[#35]
Hands up...I'll shoot

Or was it....
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 9:21:15 PM EDT
[#36]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Vote Hilary!

Vote Trump!
View Quote


It is a hard choice to decide which New York liberal Democrat to vote for.
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 9:25:41 PM EDT
[#37]
Better Nate than lever!
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 9:27:48 PM EDT
[#38]
you can't be too careful.

you can't be too careful.
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 9:29:49 PM EDT
[#39]
I have enjoyed two of these, the first about jack and the horse was already posted. The second:

Grammar: the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
Link Posted: 5/2/2016 9:38:53 PM EDT
[#40]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


See also: "I could care less."*
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
We should have had pizza instead of burgers last night. - A fairly normal thing to say.

We should of had pizza instead of burgers last night. - Lets everyone know you're a fucking moron.


See also: "I could care less."*


See also: SARCASM
Link Posted: 5/4/2016 7:44:53 PM EDT
[#41]
Best post of all:


Grammar: the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.

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