36, single, no kids. I don't regret being single. I do as I please. I'm not saying I will never get married and have kids, I just don't pursue it like some guys do. I have no problem being single but i never feel "alone". I have plenty of friends that are always down to hang out. I am welcome at most of my married friends homes to hang out pretty much any time. I'm just going to let marriage happen when it happens.

For the kids. Duh.

Marriage tip from what I have seen.

Marry a successful chick and you can be happy.  Marry a chick who sits on her ass at home all day and your married life will suck because she will make it so.  

This obviously doesn't apply to everyone.

I'm 39, retired from one career and doing very well in my second.  My wife is very successful in her career and life is great for us and our twin, 10 year old, sons.

My experience confirms that is a real possibility.

71, never married, no kids that I know of. I thought the responsible thing to do was wait until I had everything in order.

Trouble was, by the time I got to that point, all of the desirable potential mates were already married...

Not true.

Damn sinners, not procreating! Mental illness, blah, blah, blah.....

[/sarcasm]

Or just don't marry a shitbag and be happy as hell.

I never planned to get married. Then I met the right gal and that changed it all. Being a husband to a good women and a father kicks ass.

Marry the right one and it'll be the best thing you've ever done.

The grass is always greener on the other side.......enjoy being single, trust me

Single and don't plan on getting married anytime soon.

May I direct you to the Safari threads in the outdoor forum???

Single all my life & no kids.  Half of me loves it this way...and half of me wishes every day that I would have found someone out of HS to start a family with.

Hell, I'm to the point where I would love to adopt a kid in the near future....but they don't let single men adopt...

Don't get married unless you plan on having kids.

Find a better lawyer.  I have been through divorce and a custody dispute very close to you and it turned out fine.

Also, there is no alimony in PA.  She may get spousal support for a few years depending on how long you were married.  

I used to think that way, now I'm married with five children.  I would not change a thing, I'm going to miss the kids when they finally leave.

Having kids was the best thing I ever did, and it is the thing I am most proud of. I started way late though. I have my second kid due in a few months and I am 42.

I wish I had started a family earlier in life, but looking back I was too reckless, impatient and immature to be a good parent when I was in my 20's and early 30's. It happened at the right time. Just wish I'd be around longer for my eventual grandkids.

I have been married for 27 years and I have 4 kids .......the youngest is a Sr. In HS.....so I guess I cannot relate at all. I Have not had a single moment by myself in 25 years. I am not complaining.....I have a great wife and kids......but it is completely bizarre for me to consider being alone.

Depends what you make of it...I know people married with kids that are fucking miserable.

I got two (litter mates about 5 years old).  One turned out to have cancer and I'm always wiping his nose (esophageal fistula/hole in trachea that won't heal because of cancer)

I think this is very interesting and rings true for most people.









You can't dwell on the decisions you made in the past though. That is a terrible way to live your life. I've also learned to accept you have no control of your future for the most part. You can plan things the best you can but often things way beyond your power will crush your plans. So live in the present, make the best of the cards you're dealt, no ragrets.



 




 

I'm 29, single and I stay out of long term relationships. I love it. I've got my place, my dogs, my friends, my hobbies and my dating life. I do what I want all the time. I just booked a beach vacation for this summer, going with 3 other people. Life is great.

yeah, I'm late 30s and single. I was single  by choice most of my 20s and early 30s. Realizing now that doing that was a bad idea, but it's probably too late.

Yeah.

I know how this feels.   Hell my current relationship is the longest I have ever had.   She has her own house and I have mine.    Havent discussed the whole "forever" thing in 9 months of being together.   Longest we are together is usually friday-sunday.   It is nice being together when we are together but when it comes to the work week I think we are both happy to have our space.

Two weeks together on vacation could be interesting.   We spent 4 days together during new years and it was actually a true vacation and relaxing, first time in years I can say that.   Have done the parents/families together at Thanks Giving and Christmas.    But concepts like marriage still scare the hell out of me.

I spent my entire life getting up to a point where I have pretty much everything I could want.   I need to continue to enjoy it a bit longer before throwing a bunch of change into the mix.

People talk about kids and I simply have zero point of reference.    I am the last of my line, i am okay with the family tree blinking out, dont think my parents like the thought but the future is too damn unknkown to risk it.    Safe bet, especially at my/her age, is to not have kids and just set ourselves up for a comfortable life.

 
I see your problem.


Don't go home and be alone every day after work.   Go out with friends, go out on a date, do something other than sitting home alone every day.


Maybe you'll meet the right girl and wind up with something to come home to, and if not you're still living an active life.

 
Seeing how other people live is always interesting. I've regularly gone weeks at a time without talking to another human.


 

Nope.  Zero interest in getting married and having kids at this point in my life.

I enjoyed being single, and the chase is always a thrill, but when you stick your dick in crazy, you want someone sane.....  Being alone is fun at times, but as your friends get married, you have less people to hang out with that have the same intentions. So it all leads to a monogamous relationship with said sane girl. Which is nice, but like all relationships, not without headaches. But after a while, when you have all your finances in place, have done a good bit of the things you always wanted to do (travel, enjoy life, enjoy the finer things) it starts to get shallow, you can only spend so much money on yourself. After a while there's only so much clothes, cars, material things you can buy yourself. You spend just b/c you can. I didn't enjoy that any more.  We decided to have a child. And I kid you not, there's not a single day I look at my daughter and regret my decision. Gives us more meaning to life. You don't shower yourself with things anymore. Instead you give your child the best life you possibly can.

I'm 53 can't imagine life without my kids.

Sometimes I wish I could have more time alone but I prefer that to being lonely.

I honestly think this is true.

Being single, I do sometimes wish I had a girlfriend. I don't know if I can ever make the commitment of marriage though, and I'm certainly not interested in having children.

My son is my life, my legacy and my chance to make a better person. That said, it has to be right. My wife and I waited until later in life (me at 40'and my wife at 37,) to have kids. It's work, sometimes it's hard but it is worth it.

No.  I've got 14 nieces and nephews.  If I want to be around kids, I hop on a plane and go visit and then leave!

Chris

I'm 50, single and loving it.  I have money, a house near the beach, I'm fit and healthy.  Currently dating a cancer researcher who is thin, beautiful and smart.  Before that I was dating a PhD candidate who was smart, beautiful and completely crazy.  But that was fun too.  Both were 20 years younger than me.  I also have a great and fun job since I didn't have to do something that paid more but I hated, just to support a family.  

Kids were never at the top of my list.  I was the youngest member of my family by quite a bit and so I saw my parents and my brothers friends relationships turn to shit and 20 years of paying someone you hate to live in your house.  I knew I didn't want that...  I was open to the idea of a family with just the right person.  My brother found that person but still spent 30 years of his life working jobs he hated to support the family and I'm not sure he got all that much out of it and he has the best 2 kids in the world.

My advice?  Don't settle.  Yeah, I know, very original.  But I set the bar high for my life and have nailed most of it.  But did not meet the girl whom I knew would make the right partner for the whole kids and family thing.  Hard to say if you miss something you never had but I have no regrets which is a lot more than a lot of people posting on GD can say.

And there is NOTHING wrong with saying you had a lot of fun.  I think it is underrated.

Man wasn't made to dwell alone.  Be it evolution or God, you're at the end of thousands of generations of people who reproduced.  Your body wants it, whether or not your conscious mind does.

Never wanted to have kids until I hit my mid-twenties.  Came close to getting married a few times, and managed to dodge the bullet each time.  (Not that marriage is a death sentence, but it would have been with the ones I had chosen.)

Now I'm 45, single, no kids, and never married.  I visit my friends who have families, and after a few hours it puts me completely on edge, nerve jangling stress.  Only I don't realize it until I get back to my place, shut the door, feel the silence, and it's as if a weight is lifted off of my shoulders.  I don't know how anyone does it 24/7/365.

I freakin loved my bachelor days, never really cared about having kids or serious relationships

Now that I have a baby boy, it makes me wish I would have started 10 years ago. Best thing that ever happened to me.

I'm 37 and have no wife or kids. I don't plan on ever getting married, and I don't like children.
I have never wanted any to the consternation of my Parents. I have a Brother and Sister for that shit.

I don't feel bad at all about not having kids. I don't feel bad about refusing to marry either. I like my shit and don't plan to give half of it away. Not that it matters much. There is a shit load of cancer and things that plague my family. I'll never live to be an old man and don't wish to pass on a loaded gun to some other poor fucker.

I was in a relationship for four years with a chick that had two kids. Im beyond happy being single with a quit house, full bank account and doing what I want when I want. I plan on keeping it this way.

it just occurred to me that my two most recent ex-GFs are currently pregnant.  neither is mine, for which i'm exceedingly grateful.

These threads are depressing in more way than one.

I would like to have a family but I doubt it's going to happen.

How does she get them to hate you? That's horrible. Do you try to prove her wrong? How can she brainwash the kids with you still living there? They can't see what you have done for them?

I have a friend who put his wife through nursing school. She has wanted a baby for years and he wanted to wait until they had a home. They got the house and she got pregnant right after graduation, he says it changed her disposition in a positive way and she has gone back to work but I worry for him sometimes.

OP you are doing things wrong.  You think adding kids and a wife to that will make it better?  

Your shit is all messed up.

You should have posted about how you work a ton of overtime to have cool toys and do cool shit with your awesome friends.

Sounds like you messed up your single life and want something different.  That's OK, but having a wife and kids will not fix anything by itself.  It's not magic fairy dust you sprinkle on the empty side of your bed and it makes you happy and awesome.  

Life is hard work.  Get to work.

I don't get tired of it at all.  It's nice being able to go out and talk to anyone I want, meet someone interesting and ask her out, take the entire weekend off to ride my motorcycle, not have anyone nag at me for being lazy(Because half the time I am), don't have to depend on anyone else for anything else, and don't argue about money.  If I meet someone who changes my mind I suppose she will be pretty darn perfect for me.  Those are some big shoes to fill.

Fuck being single, that shit blows chunks.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

I was the single guy for a long time.  Even serious girfriends of my friends hated me because of what I represented, FREEDOM.  The wives didn't like me because I wasn't willing to settle down.  One wife was always trying to set me up with her whack job friends until I stopped coming by.  By my late twenties and not meeting a good candidate for a long term relationship that could lead to marriage, I just said screw it, I'll be single.  I liked the freedom, having money etc.

Then I met a lady who some years later became my wife.  She wasn't a jackwagon like many women are, thats why I stuck with her.  We married after dating for four years and had a kid two years later.  I don't mourn single life, but married life isn't so bad.  There are days that test my patience but other things do seem to even things out.  I know my daughter is well taken care of because my wife is a better parent than I am, my wife contributes to the household way better than many wifves I've known.  To top it off my wife isn't a pain in the ass like most wives I know.

Had I not married and kept going where I was headed, I think I would have been fine.  My own father expressed surprise at the fact I married and had a kid.  He said he thought when my time in the military was up I would either wander around the country or world or buy a cabin in the mountains and be like Bob Swagger in Sniper.  My brother never married and has a good job making even better money.  He doesn't seem all that upset by it.  He comes and goes as he pleases, buys what he wants and he supported my folks when they hit some hard times.  He's a good uncle to his niece as well.  

I think the biggest issue here is people will often think that what others want they should want as well and thats where trouble starts.  You want to get married and have kids?  Go for it.  You want to be single?  Go for it, but understand either path could lead to success or eternal ruin.  Choose wisely and hold on for the ride.

Like always, FPNI

This.  I fucked up getting married.

Whole E fuck !

Not ALL marriages/families end up as shit-shows.  It is a roll of the dice though.

This.

Been waiting a year for you to ask that question. I don’t mean to rant, but no more sugar coating, beating around the bush, or walking on eggshells.

Depression.

“I’m not super ‘happy,’ but there is also nothing in my life to be ‘sad’ about either” ?<----------- that is depression.

“I have a whole list of things to do today, but no reason to do them.” ?<------------- that is depression.

“I’m ok where I’m at, would like more, but I have a good life as-is.” ?<------------ that is depression.

People who say things like this are all highlighting the same thing, lack of passion. Depression blocks the awesome rewards of intimacy, too.

Getting out of depression for men is usually done through a career-reevaluation. What we do for work need not change the world, but must resonate within our hearts; our inner being. Otherwise it is soul-sucking.

Only after someone is not depressed, are they truly available for a healthy romantic, monogamous relationship. A relationships of two people already happy, who overflow on to one another. Not two people who try to get the other one to fill them up in the first place.

Only after that, should two people have children. Otherwise, the children pick up on the idea that a significant other is supposed to make someone whole; when in reality the two people are already whole and overflowing with love, simply sharing and adding to each others’ lives.

Kids should be borne out of love, not “time running out.”

Being alone 100% outside of work is not “mostly great,” it’s emotionally suppressive and backwards from our relational nature. When we are alone, life is way too easy. It’s too easy to rationalize and intellectualize feelings and emotions. We become a shell of a person, unconnected from others.

Not having romantic relationships is even worse. “I’m just going to live alone because it’s too difficult…” This approach destroys the light inside someone. The things that are most difficult and make us human surface only when we get close enough to a significant other to rise from our dark abyss.

OP- When alone, over time, we rationalize and intellectualize all our feelings away. Then we wake up and say, “Fuck! Time is running out!” yet have no clue of what to do next. IM me for an idea of what action to take next if this sounds close.