So I havent seen Kharn's on-going idiot co-worker thread in a while...
I need a vent a little from the crap I deal with at work.

I am the Director of IT in my company. I am mostly the IT guy but I occasionally help with accounting etc...





I do not do as much programming as I used to, I mostly deal with the my printer wont print, why cant I login, my computer did something weird, I dont look at porn(yet its in the internet history) etc.....

A few stories.





Story 1





I had a worker (she does the cleaning and reorganizing) come to me, here is the dialog..





Her: "I got these plan from Bob's office. Where do you want me to put these?"





Me: "Umm, go ask Bob, since you got them from his office"





Her: Well Bob is not in his office can you not just tell me where to put them."





Me: "No as these are plans that Bob is currently working on, you will have to wait till he comes back."





Her: Stomps off....





Later in the day,





Bob comes to me saying that Lisa asked me where to put his plans. I told him that she was supposed to wait for your return before doing anything.





I help Bob look for his paperwork. We find it in the outside dumpster.





She said she had no where else to put it so she threw it away......

Story 2





George brings me his PC.





Him: Hey my laptop is not running right.





Me: Ok let me take a look.





Screen reads bootmgr is missing





Me: Ok its going to take me a few hours to hopefully get it back running





Him: No!!! I need it now!





Me: Sorry there is not magic fix. Its going to be a few hours.





Him: Fine!  Whatever! I need it fixed ASAP. I have important work to get done.

I finally get it to boot, and I run some diagnostics. I find a slew of viruses everywhere. Spyware, trojan etc....





My first step is the clear the internet history. I find about 3 weeks of nothing but solid porn browsing. A few work things mixed in.





I take a screen shot. After about 6 hours I finally get it cleaned and running right again.

I take the PC and the screen shot to the boss. 30 minutes later....





I hear George getting the chewing of a life time.

A few weeks later,





George was scheduled to go on a couple week trip out of town. I found through the firewall,(had multiple virus warnings pop up) George was looking for escorts at his destination.





George had been looking for about 2 weeks. Oh did I mention George is married.

Boss was not happy, still said he cant do much as its not his business.







Will continue with more stories later...




 

I thought you IT guys were supposed to be like priests and not tattle on the other employees

I've had an on-going saga with this moron who doesn't understand when the coldest point of the day is.  He's convinced it's 2 or 3am.  When I explain that it's right when the sun comes up, he goes off the deep end.  Every morning he asks how cold it was when I came in; I'm here at 6am, he's here at 7am.  He comes completely unglued when his temp is colder than mine.  

I could write a novel about that guy.... that's only the tip of the iceberg.

One day I said "Calm down, you're like a jack russell".  He spent hours googling looking for who Jack Russell is.  He then determined I meant Russell Crowe

So is the coworker who threw away another person's work no longer employed? That seems like a fireable offense.

I might need to tailor this thread directly at George.

 
George is the guy that listens to Rush all day. Shops for guns or other pointless garbage.

Thinks that any politician that he doesnt support is the devil. I think he has a hard on for Rubio this year.

Comes in a 7am, yet sleeps for an hour every day.

Refuses to change PC. Runs useless cleaning crap on his PC trying to hide his identity etc....

Hates change, I bought him a brand new desktop, yet he still uses the old one and touts that its been going for 8 years and he will ride it into the ground.

I had a co worker call out of work for 4 days because he had a stuffy nose

Meanwhile, posted pictures online of him out at the bars, with friends, etc etc

I mean, sick time is sick time but still.... dick move when we have to force someone to work a double to cover his assignment

Nope boss's sons wife girlfriend (who knows)

 
She is quite annoying.

Hahaha, had one guy like that.

 
He finally quit.


He called me a insufferable little ass after he thought he hung up the phone.

I just chuckled.

Alright we need more of this guy. That is such an odd hill to die on.

 
That would be shitty IT guys...


 

It was always fun looking through firewall logs for workers in Italy. Security Admin, "Yeah, they look at porn... a lot. Government says they can't be fired for it."

I dont rat out anyone unless they cause me insufferable hell.

 
This guy deserves it.


 

The others I keep my mouth shut and show them how to delete that crap. I am usually pretty cool about it.

They are honest with me when it comes times to fixing their PCs. They usually tell me hey its probably that *file* I downloaded.

I fix it and return, sometimes with the clean file on a thumb drive,CD/DVD.

The lady seems like a tard but why did you feel the need to tattle on the guys web history and possible affair? If he's doing that shit at work I guess I can see it, but if he's productive, what's the big deal?

Honest question

We had this sleazeball of a guy that worked in my dept at my old job. 40s, slop, chain smoker, just an all around unhygienic and disgusting human.

He constantly would make very detailed sexual statements about the attractive women in our area, when in the company of just men. Nobody liked it, it wasn't in good fun, etc.

Anyway...I moved on. A year later a former coworker who I remained in contact with sends me a link to a news article.

Dude got busted in a big prostitution ring. He was soliciting underage Mexican girls.

I work for an IT company. We've got the company firewall and LogMojo reporting, etc. One day I was talking with some of the guys who access the reports.

"Know what the #1 category for firewall blocks are with this company? Weapons! Everyone looks at gun stuff!"

My company is pretty sweet.

See above.


He causes insufferable hell. I cant tell you how many times I havent done something fast enough for him, where he runs and tells the boss Im milking the clock. (boss knows better)




We also have some highly confidential info and doing things that jeopardize it gets a report and passed to the boss. Its policy.


Unless you are cool then the simple stuff gets a pass. All of the guys at work do that during work hours only at home, so it doesnt really effect anything in the office.


 

George doesnt care he does it any time he feels the need.

How large is your company? As an IT Director, you seem to be more of a Help Desk tech.

 
I left that box unchecked on the content filter.

Him and my boss have about a 30 mile commute, probably 20 of which is on the same highway.  If he beats our boss here, without fail it's "Oh, no xxxx?!  Traffic wasn't that bad.  I don't understand".  A few minutes later, "I looked at the traffic reports, I don't see anything.  I hope everything's okay".  When he first comes in, he peaks into our office area to see if we're here.  If we're not, he comes completely into our area and stares at the fucking monitors and chair as if he's looking for a visible heat signature of us recently being present.

Every.  Fucking.  Day.

If my boss or myself have a meeting and he's not invited; he tries to covertly find out what it was about.  We have meetings all the time.

He'll walk back to my desk and ask what I'm working on.  When my answer isn't good enough, he comes around the desk and stares at my screens.  We work on the same fucking projects for weeks if not months on end.

Two solid weeks of porn plus using company time to look up hookers for a business trip? You don't see the problem with that?

Ha, yes I was told by the gun grabber in the office that guns are icky why cant I block them.

I told her the boss said that was important and could never be unblocked.

Is it OK to piggy back off this thread? Because I've needed to vent for a few days at some of my idiot co-workers.

Baloney.  We're being paid to safeguard the network and the computer systems.  If someone si, oh, I don't know, dragging down our internet access to a crawl because they're downloading THREE Harry Potter film clips, I'm going to put an end to it.

Basicly, the unspoken rule is if you don't cause us more work or act like a Douche Nozzle we really don't care. We have more important things to do than be the corporate Morality Police.

Reminds me of the CFO where I used to work. Her and my direct boss were talking about inland vs coastline temps, I couldn't begin to tell you why... So he tells her that the ocean makes the temperature not as cold in the winter and cooler in the summer. She doesn't believe him (they hated each other). So he comes to my office laughing saying "next time you're in dumbass's office she's going to ask you about ocean vs inland temps". Sure as shit, she does and I try to explain it to her. She then accuses me of siding with my boss. I just shook my head and went back to my office.

She also told me that the song Turning Japanese by The Vapors was about turning gay. I told her I didn't think that was correct... but her girlfriend that sings in a rock band (bar band that plays top 40) told her it was, so it must be true. I told her that she must be right, being in a band gives you an inside track on those kinds of things. She was very happy.

Small.
I am not a help desk tech by any means.






I got my degree (IT Business Management) and did my time. I now work mostly alone.



I planned and mapped the entire network here at work and maintain it. I also wired and installed the phone system.



I maintain the company accounting and email server. (all of our email is in-house, meaning you email a coworker it never leaves the office)



I issue and maintain company cell phones and PCs.






I started here 9 years ago as a lone ranger and all they had was a home wifi router and zero backups of anything.





The accounting data was on the accounts PC. Who can kill a PC in about 2 years. They had data corruption about once a year.


I installed a server and migrated all the data onto it.

Now everything is stable, and we have a nightly backup.













 

Yup.

 

Has a worthy successor arisen?
I requested my thread be nuked, it was too easy for people to connect the dots and find us.

Kharn

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

I dont think anyone can match Dave.

 
This guy possibly a distant second.


 

Did Dave find the thread??

IT guys gossip like a sewing circle. If you're doing something you shouldn't we ALL know about it.

Dave didn't, but other people started asking questions.

Kharn

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Interesting. Sounds like someone just realized that their porn browsing and escort hunting is transparent to the IT staff at work. Heh.

That's a bummer. I really enjoyed that thread.

He sounds like he's got bad anxiety issues that turn him into a real pain in the ass to work with. Wow.

Or he's manic. Or both.

Tag

Thank God I work from home.  I'm a System Engineer for a consulting company and all my co-workers work from home as well.  Honestly no complaints about any of them, can't say the same for some of our clients.



I do have one office-mate but she keeps to herself.

Thanks.

So, the other day I did a job and in the report comments I put a note that I've put in the report for years. The note read: "Some of the devices do not display address numbers at the FACP.", I didn't put it in as a failure but as a note. The reason being is because the devices are correct but their labels are too long and the device address just doesn't display. Being since it's not a user friendly panel there is no way to actually get the addresses easily. I get an email from my dumbass boss that asks, "The Tallest, what exactly does this mean?", I sat there completely dumbfounded as this guy has been in the business for well over 30 years and he has the gall to ask such a dumb question. I tried to eek out a response but let's be honest here. There's no way to be more specific that what I wrote and I quickly decided that there was no possible way for me to respond to the email without being a complete dick. My response would have been, "Idiot, what exactly do you think it means?" either unfortunately or fortunately; depending on how you look at it, I ended up deleting my response and took no further interaction because I could not respond without possibly getting myself in trouble.

That same exact day, for the same exact job I also put in the report comments that, "Several duct detectors were not tested due to there being NO ACCESS to them." I had also put, "Unable to test elevator pit and shaft devices due to no elevator company being on site." The same retard who wanted to know what I meant about the devices not displaying addresses sends yet another useful email wanting to know, "Why were you unable to test the duct detectors. I understand why the elevators weren't tested by what about the duct detectors?" Again, sitting there scratching my head I decided that there was no way to respond without being a dick even though I typed out a response that simply read, "THEY WERE NOT TESTED BECAUSE THERE IS NO ACCESS!!!!" and ultimately I ended up again just deleting my response and not responding.

Fast forward to today, I get another jem from this idiot. See, we use an app on our phone to quote deficiencies. Only thing is, that when you quote them and send them in they just kind of disappear and the work never gets done. But the customer gets a bill and pays. No one knows where they go it's just that they just kind of disappear. So, they came up with another great addition to it, not only do you need to use the app that doesn't actually work but they need you to fill out an additional piece of paper with the parts that are required to do the job that isn't going to actually get done because the original quotes just fucking disappear. Oh, did I also mention that the app asks for the very same parts? So, this retard sends out this email that says, "Guys, when quoting using the quoting app and filling out the parts form make sure you put the call number for the job that is generated via the app after sending it on the parts form." I just stood there looking at the email and screamed, "WHAT FUCKING CALL DOES IT FUCKING GENERATE WHEN IT FUCKING DISAPPEARS!?!?!?" You never get an email with a new call. If you look in your job queue it never puts a new call in. It just fucking goes off to happy unicorn rainbow land in fuck all knows where. So, now my plan is to whenever I use the app; which I try not to because IT DOESN'T FUCKING WORK, I will make it a point to just make call numbers up. Things like, SR: 198749328579823572938572988 and just random fucking numbers. They don't realize that even though they have us now filling out a piece a paper that they said the app would eliminate but the fucking jobs aren't going to get done anyway, because it doesn't fucking work. Case in point, today I did a job and found a ground fault, so I used their non-working app to generate a call for service to come fix it. When I go back there in three months, I guaran-fucking-tee you the ground fault won't be fixed.

Had a clerk who was outwardly homosexual.  He was surfing kiddy pornography.  Immediate termination.  Worthless idiot.

Hooray, a new one!  These threads are the best.

The first time I have to unfuck your work machine because you surf porn sites I nicely tell you why it happened and how to avoid it in the future.

The second time I have to unfuck your work machine for that reason I'm not so nice.

The third time, I kick it up the chain of command.  There has never been a fourth time.

Thankfully I'm no longer in support, The amount of tranny porn I've had to wipe off of high level employee machines is staggering.  The awesome selfies of the hot accountant isnt so bad.

I work for a large Fortune 500 tech company.  I once had a discussion with a senior IT manager about porn and consequences on the job.

I was told directly that if they fired everyone who spent too much time looking at porn over the company network, there would be few men left working there.  He said they don't even bother to report it unless there is some other problem reported and HR requests network logs associated with a specific employee.


So it's basically a "secondary" offense.  You won't get tagged for it, but if you foul up badly in some other way, they may use it to build a case against you for termination.

You'd be hard pressed to find a geek that cares about the "omg porn" aspect.  They care a lot more about the "why the fuck am I wasting time on this fucking bullshit when I could be watching porn" part of the deal.

I thought this also!

I have to go delete all my emails to my IT guy.

That will work riiiiight?

why does your dog have a wubb-a-nub?



 

Lisa should be fired.  

I never did, but there were a few things I saw that made me look at some of the employees differently.
We had a receptionist that had an issue with her email.   For some reason a currupt file in her mailbox trashed it and she could not recieve any new mail.
I never looked at the emails, but the subject lines from some of her Adam and Eve orders let me know she was a super freak.  

I had a hard time looking her in the eye after that.

Someone here shares way too many details about stuff.  For example, switching cable service because the paid for porn channels don't show the guy busting a nut.  It's not like this convo led to it.  It was "hey I just switched to direct tv because......"

We had a guy call in sick during a meeting.   The boss answered it on speaker phone.
Employee "Hey man, I can't make it in today, I am going to the doctor"
Manager: "Ok, see you tomorrow".

That was all he had to say, but he continued on.

"Yeah, I got a big boil on my ass that he is going to lance"
Everyone in the room heard it.   I felt bad for the guy the next day.  

His porn browsing got his company asset so loaded with malware  that it took 6 hours of IT time to fix it. That's a big deal.

 

Using a random number of dots to separate your thoughts over actual punctuation makes you appear to be more "idiot" than "sage", but your work computer browsing history is clean & you don't put sensitive documents that belong to other employees in the trash so you get a pass.