Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
BCM
User Panel

Site Notices
Page / 11
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 2:55:55 PM EDT
[#1]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I've got a friend who dated a "single mother". They've been happily married for about seven years now. He adopted her kid at the wedding (part of the ceremony), and they had two more kids after that.

It can be done, but it really depends on the people involved.

In general, run the fuck away.
View Quote


All correct statements.
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 2:56:27 PM EDT
[#2]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


 I'm seeing you in a whole new light, Jane.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
I understand your reflexive "Dump the bitch" argument reigns supreme in the world of the misigynowhining bitchmale.

Points awarded by males such as yourself are meaningless in my world.  

Doubling down on the vacuous shaming language. Brilliant.

This is how utterly fucking stupid the hero in 1srelluc's post is:

http://i.imgur.com/unwUN6f.jpg

http://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title18.2/chapter4/

What is a Class 2 felony?

http://i.imgur.com/c6MMLiX.jpg

But apparently, in PJ's world, going full retard to risk your liberty for 20+ years, lose your 2nd amendment rights, and be a lifelong felon is what a "man" will do to solve a woman's problem.

Pointing out that that is illogical will result in cries of "misigynowhining bitchmale".



http://i.imgur.com/8E9ECT9.jpg

But, distressing as I'm sure it is in misogynowhining bitchmale world, the hero of our story didn't go to jail, did he?  That really galls you that the man took care of his wife and step-son's problem. A sensible bitchmale would have just walked away, right?



 I'm seeing you in a whole new light, Jane.

I don't know why.  I've never had much enthusiasm for GD's reflexive woman bashers.
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 2:58:04 PM EDT
[#3]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
1)  Drama.  Lots of it.   Family of the girl.  Ex of the girl.  Kid politics/tug-o-wars between parents
2)  You'll always....always be #2.  Even after the kid leaves home.   You'll never rate more than a dude who provides money/entertainment for the girl+her kid.
3)  Likely, you'll get drawn into or being provoked into a fight if the ex is an asshole/drunk/doper
4)  It's gonna cost you lots of money
5)  You're gonna get the shit used out of you 99 times out of 100; unless she is pulling down some serious cash.
6)  Be prepared to spend lots of time with the kid (even when she says the kid is with a sitter or something).  The kid will 7-times out of 10 end up crashing or
    there being an "emergency" and the kid ends up with you guys
7)  The kid will eventually figure out what you're doing to mom and will often actively sabotage lovin'-time.
8)  The kid knows how to play the game and mom will never hold the kid accountable.  The kid will turn out to be a shithead because he/she knows you will
     be out of the decision loop at home.

Just not worth it unless the kid is an infant and the dad is out of the picture completely or dead.



Even then...it's usually not worth the trouble.


Been down that road about 5-6 times. It ALWAYS ends the same.
View Quote




You saved me alot of typing.
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:00:26 PM EDT
[#4]
Only date your equal or better. Unless you have kids, don't date a woman with kids.
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:03:57 PM EDT
[#5]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

I don't know why.  I've never had much enthusiasm for GD's reflexive woman bashers.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
But, distressing as I'm sure it is in misogynowhining bitchmale world, the hero of our story didn't go to jail, did he?  That really galls you that the man took care of his wife and step-son's problem. A sensible bitchmale would have just walked away, right?



 I'm seeing you in a whole new light, Jane.

I don't know why.  I've never had much enthusiasm for GD's reflexive woman bashers.


It's not that.  It's the idea you think that crippling someone is how man should handle the situation.
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:06:16 PM EDT
[#6]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Only date your equal or better. Unless you have kids, don't date a woman with kids.
View Quote


Being "Equally Yoked" in as many categories as possible is always good relationship advise and not just for the religious.
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:08:20 PM EDT
[#7]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


The "a real man would go beat down my crazy ex with a baseball bat" narrative implies that the man would be conducting the attack and thus, facing the felony charges.  

Maybe I misunderstood your point, but I don't think that's a great course of action these days.  I'd agree that the guy got what he deserved for trying to break into their home, but a lot of guys are probably in prison for giving a guy what he deserved.  Self defense withstanding, ending up in prison isn't the best way to protect your wife/girlfriend/kids from a spiteful ex who would still be on the street and now have an even greater motivation for escalating violence in retaliation.  

Some guys would probably take the beating and think "Wow, I fucked with the wrong person and will mind my own business from now on".  Others would think "Well, I'll get the new boyfriend put in prison and go deal with the girl/kid once he's out of the way."
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Easy to say when you wouldn't be the one facing felony charges.

Really?  Why would you assume that?


The "a real man would go beat down my crazy ex with a baseball bat" narrative implies that the man would be conducting the attack and thus, facing the felony charges.  

Maybe I misunderstood your point, but I don't think that's a great course of action these days.  I'd agree that the guy got what he deserved for trying to break into their home, but a lot of guys are probably in prison for giving a guy what he deserved.  Self defense withstanding, ending up in prison isn't the best way to protect your wife/girlfriend/kids from a spiteful ex who would still be on the street and now have an even greater motivation for escalating violence in retaliation.  

Some guys would probably take the beating and think "Wow, I fucked with the wrong person and will mind my own business from now on".  Others would think "Well, I'll get the new boyfriend put in prison and go deal with the girl/kid once he's out of the way."

No, why would you assume I wouldn't be willing to face the same charges as a man.  If an abusive ex with a restraining order started hanging around my child's school, I'd have fucked him up one way or another.
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:08:30 PM EDT
[#8]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

  Kid definitely comes first and it doesn't bother me. It's very refreshing, actually.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
The kid will come first. If you can't deal with that, walk away.  If the kid doesn't come first, run away.  Maybe pray for the kid while running, but run.

  Kid definitely comes first and it doesn't bother me. It's very refreshing, actually.


You go with that...I am sure things will work out well.
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:10:21 PM EDT
[#9]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

  I'm 28 and she's 29. Even at my age, with where I'm at, it's hard to find somebody who doesn't have a kid. It's sort of the culture here, sadly.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
How old are you OP?  How old are the women your dating?

I'm 38 and dating, the odds of finding a woman without a kid or an ex are pretty slim!!

  I'm 28 and she's 29. Even at my age, with where I'm at, it's hard to find somebody who doesn't have a kid. It's sort of the culture here, sadly.



I understand very well.     I taught my son about technology, from the web, hardware, and on to multi media.   Now, he has taken it much further than I have.    He has done a lot of advertising, TV commercials, music videos, and so on.    He runs a college IT department besides his own business.     It has also exposed him... a lot... to models, bar girls, show girls, and wanna be tramps looking for fame and/or money.    Fortunately, I taught my son a lot more than just technology.     He is getting married next year to a nice, childless, conservative lady.    

Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:14:45 PM EDT
[#10]

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:



How so?  Did the guy go to jail?  Aren't you galled that he didn't.



View Quote


Is that supposed to be a question?



Are you so irritated that your inane shaming and made up stories of men getting away with felonious battery are only serving to reflect negatively upon yourself that you cannot even type straight?



 
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:14:53 PM EDT
[#11]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Damaged goods.

The only thing they are good for is banging.

View Quote


The second gal I talked about back on page 2 was a bank teller at the bank where I would make my mortgage payments.  So she knew where I lived.  She came knocking on my front door one Saturday.  The ink might have been dry on the divorce papers.  I was asleep, worked the night before, so I didn't answer the door.  She went to a party like a few blocks away.  Then came back and knocked on my door again.  

We went driving around.  She was in nervous full on chatty Cathy mode.

Then she took me home.  That was it.  

Maybe less than a week later, she was knocking on my door again.  She was butt ass naked and we were going at it less than 5 minutes of her crossing the threshold.

There was one time I took her over to my shooting buddy's house for a BBQ.  My buddy is married, and his wife is attractive.  This made the bank teller chic jealous.

We socialized and ate and in general had a good time.  We get not even two blocks from their house and the bank teller chic flips the fuck out:  "I SAW HOW YOU WERE STARING AT HER.  IT WAS SO OBVIOUS!  BLAH BLAH BLAH!"  

I stood on the brakes, reached over her to open the  passenger door, and very calmly asked, "Do you want to walk home?"

That shut her up.

Maybe that was single mom baggage???

Or maybe that was X-wife of an addict and cheater baggage???


Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:15:26 PM EDT
[#12]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

Is that supposed to be a question?

Are you so irritated that your inane shaming and made up stories of men getting away with felonious battery are only serving to reflect negatively upon yourself that you cannot even type straight?
 
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:

How so?  Did the guy go to jail?  Aren't you galled that he didn't.


Is that supposed to be a question?

Are you so irritated that your inane shaming and made up stories of men getting away with felonious battery are only serving to reflect negatively upon yourself that you cannot even type straight?
 

Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:17:11 PM EDT
[#13]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
My daughter was dating a guy with two kids. I asked her -


How well do you get along with his ex?  (not good at all)

How well do you get along with his ex's parents?  (batshit crazy trailer trash)

How well do you get long with his ex's partner? (abusive drunk)

How are you going to handle that 50% of his time and money will be with them for the next 20 years? (BF was a fireman - basically broke after child support payments)

How will you handle the fact that your BF will be sent to jail if he makes his ex mad? (she had already had him arrested once)

The relationship didn't last much longer.

View Quote


THIS!  

This is perfect.    So often, this place cannot see things for what they are.   Here it is from the other side.    People do not understand the concept of "damaged goods".    It applies to males and females.      Can it work out for some?   Sure.   But generally, especially for young people, it is more than they can or should handle.







Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:19:56 PM EDT
[#14]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Her child will never respect you and will walk all over you and treat you like shit

She will always take his side and will never discipline him properly because she feels guilty for splitting with his father

Single mothers are more trouble than they're worth
View Quote


I started dating my wife (single mother of 22 at the time) and she had a 3, almost 4 year old daughter.

Flash forward 15 years later, she's like my natural born daughter.  Couldn't have asked for a better child, especially a step daughter.  

Backstory notes worth pointing out, parents on both sides were against us, so it was tough from the time we got engaged to about a year after getting married.  baby daddy was a tool but I was a lot crazier in my youth and knew no fear, I took the alpha position fairly quickly and never had an issue after that.  baby daddy was never really in the picture (except to try and get back together with the mom so once I established myself, he disappeared.

Are you ready to be a father?  I'm not sure I was, but it worked out well I think.  The tool dropped off and I had to fill the complete role as a father.  It made it easy in many senses but at the same time, it's heart breaking to see a shitbag maybe call his daughter once, maybe twice a year, if that.

It was hard for her at first, once she hit about 10-11 she completely stopped calling him dad (on her own) and we really started to bond.  Teenage years were pretty good.  I think given our situation she felt I was a "neutral party" so to speak with some things and we were really able to talk, which was pretty cool.

FWIW my wife and I have two girls together, 9 and 11.  It's like the three of them are full blood sisters.  Normal rivalry stuff from time to time with my first born and step daughter but honestly much tamer than what I see other families have with similar situations.

My wife and I had a lot in common, in addition she was the first woman to call my AR and AR.  I've also never had to hide a gun purchase from her.

There may be a lot crazy single moms out there with baggage but not all of them are.

As an aside, I only dated one other single mother.  A kindergarten teacher.  Normal as could be for the first two~ months, then bat poop crazy.  Holy hell, she was a nut.
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:20:49 PM EDT
[#15]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I married a single mom 25 years ago. She has a high school diploma, no college, 1 son. I started dating her with reservations. Never, ever thought I would marry her. Like you, I wanted a woman with an education, and minimal baggage. I ended up with the best wife a man could ever hope for. Maybe I just got lucky. Sometimes times you just gotta throw the dice and see where it ends up.
View Quote



Frankly, I would rather see my son role the dice on a combat deployment.    Survive 6-12 months, and you are good.    Marriage?   I don't think I want him being so caviler.   But, that is just my view.    
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:26:38 PM EDT
[#16]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


It's not that.  It's the idea you think that crippling someone is how man should handle the situation.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
But, distressing as I'm sure it is in misogynowhining bitchmale world, the hero of our story didn't go to jail, did he?  That really galls you that the man took care of his wife and step-son's problem. A sensible bitchmale would have just walked away, right?



 I'm seeing you in a whole new light, Jane.

I don't know why.  I've never had much enthusiasm for GD's reflexive woman bashers.


It's not that.  It's the idea you think that crippling someone is how man should handle the situation.

I think that how a person should handle the situation.  That being an ex who tries to break into their home, gets a restraining order, and then tries to intimidate them by hanging around their child's school.  But I've long believed that sometimes violence really is the answer.  Goes back to my childhood and my abusive older sister.
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:26:56 PM EDT
[#17]
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:32:03 PM EDT
[#18]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I have done it twice.

The first woman who I dated who had a kid...I moved in with her.  Her daughter was maybe like 12 at the time.  I split out of that situation a couple years later, after my sister died.  The daughter as it turned out became bipolar/manic-depressive.  She would actually steal money out of my wallet in the middle of the night.  She got caught doing all kinds of stupid stuff, one instance being smoking pot on school grounds.

In the back of my mind, I had these very scary visions of some detectives showing up at the door ready to haul me away,  "Mr. WeimaranerDad, there have been some allegations...you're going to have to come down to the station with us."



I couldn't tell you how many times I had to drive both mom and daughter to the ER, or just meet mom at the hospital because the daughter was in one of those low valleys of her manic-depression and she was cutting on herself.

The daughter was a chronic liar.  And mom's being what they are, their kids can do no wrong.

So when my sister died, I didn't think I was getting the emotional support from the GF that I thought I should be getting.  A couple months later I was like , "This is my stop."  It didn't really sink in with the GF until I pulled into her driveway with the Ryder truck.

The second gal...she had a little boy, maybe 3 or 4 years old.  Like most women fresh out of divorce, I think she just wanted to sample some new dick.

The problem with her son was that he figured we were competing for mom's attention.  He would do stuff deliberately to have her attention solely locked on him.  In short, he was a brat.

Strangely enough, in both cases, there was no baby daddy drama issues.

If I were to date a single mom again, it would be either the kid(s) is (are) grown up and out of the house, or the kid is like under 2 years of age.

View Quote


The first is a HUGE red flag.   Anyone thinking like that is probably raising a criminal.  

The second is not as bad, but very destructive.    Mothers can't be fatherly role models.    Worse yet, they can be far too soft on their boys, as they usually are.


Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:33:19 PM EDT
[#19]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

Is that supposed to be a question?

Are you so irritated that your inane shaming and made up stories of men getting away with felonious battery are only serving to reflect negatively upon yourself that you cannot even type straight?
 
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:

How so?  Did the guy go to jail?  Aren't you galled that he didn't.


Is that supposed to be a question?

Are you so irritated that your inane shaming and made up stories of men getting away with felonious battery are only serving to reflect negatively upon yourself that you cannot even type straight?
 

Are you so shamed by you advocacy of bitchmaleness and stories of men acting like men that you are reduced to sniping about my punctuation error?  So typical of your ilk.
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:34:06 PM EDT
[#20]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I got a lot of "can you help me pay for this and this, this month? I am running short." or "my girlfriends and I are having girls night out and I can't find a babysitter. Could you babysit for me?" Guess who the dick was when I told her no to the above? I got endless drama from the baby daddy, the little shit, and everybody else involved. In the end, I learned one of the most important lessons in dating: A single mother will never put you first in the relationship. Why would you make someone a priority who constantly reminds you that you will always be second place to her? Save yourself a metric shit ton of headaches and find one without kids. There are plenty out there...
View Quote


QFT
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:35:24 PM EDT
[#21]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:

How so?  Did the guy go to jail?  Aren't you galled that he didn't.


Is that supposed to be a question?

Are you so irritated that your inane shaming and made up stories of men getting away with felonious battery are only serving to reflect negatively upon yourself that you cannot even type straight?
 


There you are.  Late lunch?

Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:38:08 PM EDT
[#22]
I have married two different single moms at different times....One marriage turned out horribly, the other one still provides me with immense happiness and contentment.  that being said, Moms will naturally put their children ahead of you, but I think that even women who have children after being married will naturally do that.  I think it is simply nature's way of getting women to care for their progeny....

when you think about it though, many men will also place their children ahead of their spouse for the same reason.
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:40:34 PM EDT
[#23]
I've met a few women who seemed great and then found out they have kids and ejected immediately. If I want kids I'd make my own.
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:40:49 PM EDT
[#24]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


So you learned that one girl would not put you first in your relationship?
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
I got a lot of "can you help me pay for this and this, this month? I am running short." or "my girlfriends and I are having girls night out and I can't find a babysitter. Could you babysit for me?" Guess who the dick was when I told her no to the above? I got endless drama from the baby daddy, the little shit, and everybody else involved. In the end, I learned one of the most important lessons in dating:  A single mother will never put you first in the relationship. Why would you make someone a priority who constantly reminds you that you will always be second place to her? Save yourself a metric shit ton of headaches and find one without kids. There are plenty out there...


So you learned that one girl would not put you first in your relationship?


Maybe he is a fast learner and did not have to experience it multiple times.  

How many here want their daughter marrying a guy, knowing most of his money goes to his previous family?   And, realize that since he is a good father, he spends a lot of time with his child(ren).   He also does a lot of work around his child(ren)'s house because he wants them to have a nice, safe place to live in.    

Of course, their are also lots of single dads out there dodging every responsibility possible.    Maybe those would be better?




Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:41:00 PM EDT
[#25]
i dated several and never any problems. that was probably because i (A)  didn't start dating them before the divorce was final, and (B) dated them well after the divorce was over with and both had moved on with their lives. Nor were they (C) women who let any random man spray their fallopian tubes with his semen in hopes of getting him to marry her.

most of the drama I know of with single moms could have been prevented if these rules were followed, especially the (A) rule.

that was when i was in my 20's.

not that i am in my 40s and my own kids are getting close to moving out, if something happened to my marriage i wouldn't date a woman unless her kids were grown too. im not raising someone else's kids and ive got a lot of catching up to do in my personal life that I have put off to raise my own kids.



GR
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:43:59 PM EDT
[#26]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


This becomes true later on.

In the early stages of a relationship,  and during dating the kids should be top dog.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:

Then there was the other winner who said expect to always be #2. Well no shit? That's how it should be even if you ARE the father and married to the mother. Wow, just wow. lol



Actually no, that's not how it should be.  Partner should always come first, cause everything trickles down.  Unhappy parents don't make for very happy kids.  I believe someone much smarter than me on this site, maybe it was Swingset said your partner should always come first.  I might have the wrong person.


This becomes true later on.

In the early stages of a relationship,  and during dating the kids should be top dog.


This is extremely true.   It is so true that most women really should not have time or much money for dating.
 




Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:45:21 PM EDT
[#27]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

There you are.  Late lunch?

View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:

How so?  Did the guy go to jail?  Aren't you galled that he didn't.


Is that supposed to be a question?

Are you so irritated that your inane shaming and made up stories of men getting away with felonious battery are only serving to reflect negatively upon yourself that you cannot even type straight?
 


There you are.  Late lunch?


umad?
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:49:48 PM EDT
[#28]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

umad?
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:

How so?  Did the guy go to jail?  Aren't you galled that he didn't.


Is that supposed to be a question?

Are you so irritated that your inane shaming and made up stories of men getting away with felonious battery are only serving to reflect negatively upon yourself that you cannot even type straight?
 


There you are.  Late lunch?


umad?

Not at all.  Enjoying watching the usual guys being their usual selves.
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:53:26 PM EDT
[#29]

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:





Are you so shamed by you advocacy of bitchmaleness and stories of men acting like men that you are reduced to sniping about my punctuation error.  So typical of your ilk.

View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:



Quoted:


Quoted:



How so?  Did the guy go to jail?  Aren't you galled that he didn't.





Is that supposed to be a question?



Are you so irritated that your inane shaming and made up stories of men getting away with felonious battery are only serving to reflect negatively upon yourself that you cannot even type straight?

 


Are you so shamed by you advocacy of bitchmaleness and stories of men acting like men that you are reduced to sniping about my punctuation error.  So typical of your ilk.



Jane, you should know that in order to be shamed, the shamer must be respected. Advocating serious felonies to solve problems that have far better and less risky solutions does not garner you one ounce of respect, and your continued insistence that mindless violence is requisite to be a "man" leads me to sincerely question the value system you are using to judge a man's worth. I am not shamed by you; in truth I pity you.



It is wholly illogical for a woman to want her man to behave in such a way. He risks becoming a life-long violent criminal. How is he supposed to provide for his family while in jail, or paying off that $100,000 fine? Is he being much of a man then?



For all the barbs thrust at men for being unthinking barbarians, a woman advocating that they define their worth as a man by committing stupid acts of violence is....highly ironic.



Back when men ruled the earth unquestioned from the opposite sex, violence was often a publicly supported solution. Now that women are the primary voting bloc, that is not the case.



So we men adapt.



 
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:55:49 PM EDT
[#30]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Her child will never respect you and will walk all over you and treat you like shit

She will always take his side and will never discipline him properly because she feels guilty for splitting with his father

Single mothers are more trouble than they're worth
View Quote


Bullshit. My mom divorced my dad. A year later my she married my step dad, I see my Dad from time to time, but I wouldn't have what I have and know what I know without my step dad.
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:56:45 PM EDT
[#31]
Baggage.

Link Posted: 11/29/2015 3:59:47 PM EDT
[#32]
After reading all the preceding responses all I can add is this, ''Thank God I'm in my 50s and through with all the issues dating someone with small kids brings.

Just don't have the patience for it anymore.

All I will say is go slow, and remember that there are more then the two of you in the relationship.


The flipside, dating someone who has problems with elderly parents who are horrid, bossy, ungrateful, cheap ass tightwads [as far as financially helping the child with expenses they can't really cover due to all the time the child spends running them here and there 3-4 days a week and the related pay loss] and have no respect for the lives of the child who does 99% of everything for them because the other kids are useless fucks, and basically make life a living hell.

Every time I see aging parents like this, I thank the Good Lord for mine and that they [especially Dad] always had the utmost consideration for his kids and their families. He truly left great memories behind and even in his passing, he made others around him better then they were before.
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 4:01:21 PM EDT
[#33]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

It's the top dog part that got me.

I didn't think we were talking little Johnny goes hungry cause moms gotta give BF a bj .

But little Johnny being an asshole so mom can't have a conversation is a no go
View Quote


In the cities, that is in the news regularly.

Link Posted: 11/29/2015 4:01:54 PM EDT
[#34]
Nothing wrong with it, but you must tread carefully. If it gets serious, you need to have some specific talks about your role in the family.
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 4:02:11 PM EDT
[#35]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


You do realize that that could also mean she can't date at all, because she should be at home reading little Johnny a bedtime story right?
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
expect her to put her kids first while you're dating .

if she doesn't, you don't want to know her.


You do realize that that could also mean she can't date at all, because she should be at home reading little Johnny a bedtime story right?


This should probably be true more often than not.   Sad that it is not.
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 4:08:10 PM EDT
[#36]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Some people run from their mistakes. Some people learn from them. It's up to you to figure out which she is.

I also think some people confuse prioritizing children's health, safety, and wellbeing over some guy they've been on a few dates with vs. prioritizing a child's every whim over a partner or spouse. One is an indicator of a good parent (and without it you end up with parents like Casey Anthony), and the other would cause relationship problems even if you were the biological father.
View Quote


IF she tells you stuff like this, then, well,  take some time, give her a little room and latitude, because it could be a very uniquely good situation.  

Link Posted: 11/29/2015 4:10:22 PM EDT
[#37]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

Jane, you should know that in order to be shamed, the shamer must be respected. Advocating serious felonies to solve problems that have far better and less risky solutions does not garner you one ounce of respect, and your continued insistence that mindless violence is requisite to be a "man" leads me to sincerely question the value system you are using to judge a man's worth. I am not shamed by you; in truth I pity you.

It is wholly illogical for a woman to want her man to behave in such a way. He risks becoming a life-long violent criminal. How is he supposed to provide for his family while in jail, or paying off that $100,000 fine? Is he being much of a man then?

For all the barbs thrust at men for being unthinking barbarians, a woman advocating that they define their worth as a man by committing stupid acts of violence is....highly ironic.

Back when men ruled the earth unquestioned from the opposite sex, violence was often a publicly supported solution. Now that women are the primary voting bloc, that is not the case.

So we men adapt.
 
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:

How so?  Did the guy go to jail?  Aren't you galled that he didn't.


Is that supposed to be a question?

Are you so irritated that your inane shaming and made up stories of men getting away with felonious battery are only serving to reflect negatively upon yourself that you cannot even type straight?
 

Are you so shamed by you advocacy of bitchmaleness and stories of men acting like men that you are reduced to sniping about my punctuation error.  So typical of your ilk.

Jane, you should know that in order to be shamed, the shamer must be respected. Advocating serious felonies to solve problems that have far better and less risky solutions does not garner you one ounce of respect, and your continued insistence that mindless violence is requisite to be a "man" leads me to sincerely question the value system you are using to judge a man's worth. I am not shamed by you; in truth I pity you.

It is wholly illogical for a woman to want her man to behave in such a way. He risks becoming a life-long violent criminal. How is he supposed to provide for his family while in jail, or paying off that $100,000 fine? Is he being much of a man then?

For all the barbs thrust at men for being unthinking barbarians, a woman advocating that they define their worth as a man by committing stupid acts of violence is....highly ironic.

Back when men ruled the earth unquestioned from the opposite sex, violence was often a publicly supported solution. Now that women are the primary voting bloc, that is not the case.

So we men adapt.
 

Shot, I understand that while you are highly  regarded by the misogynowhining bitchmales here in Guys' Drama, I am held in low esteem.  I would not have it otherwise.

It doesn't surprise me that you would characterize the actions taken by a man to ensure the safety of his step-son, once other measures proved ineffective, as "mindless violence".   Because feminism.  LOL.
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 4:19:04 PM EDT
[#38]

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:



It doesn't surprise me that you would characterize the actions taken by a man to ensure the safety of his step-son, once other measures proved ineffective, as "mindless violence".   Because feminism.  LOL.

View Quote


How safe is the stepson going to be when his step daddy is doing 20 years because he was too stupid to use his brain?



Try to answer without resorting to a personal attack.



 
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 4:20:59 PM EDT
[#39]
Quoted:
So, for those who know, I'm very much against the idea of dating single mothers. To me, it typically shows damaged goods. And, while it could be the case here, so far it looks like a case of a bad dad. She's got a career, she has an education, isn't really looking for a dad for the kid (possibly more of a father figure), and we really seem to hit it off. Similar values, senses of humor, hobbies that intertwine, etc.

So, my question is geared more towards those who have dated women with kid(s). What was it like? What should I expect to be different from dating people without kids? How did the kid change things?


In the off chance there are any single moms here, what are you expecting?


Thanks in advance guys.
View Quote


Is she really a single mother aka had kid outside of wedlock or is she divorced? Big difference to me.


Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 4:23:32 PM EDT
[#40]
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 4:24:46 PM EDT
[#41]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

  She's four years divorced, I believe. Three or four. Dad is out of the picture completely and wants nothing to do with the kid.


I do not have kids and don't really have much experience with them. I've been told they I'm great with kids, though.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Expect drama and lots of it.


Generally speaking, yes...but not always the case.  That being said, I wouldn't touch a single mom less than a year out of a divorce.  

Do you have kids?

  She's four years divorced, I believe. Three or four. Dad is out of the picture completely and wants nothing to do with the kid.


I do not have kids and don't really have much experience with them. I've been told they I'm great with kids, though.


Been there. Treat her right. Be an example to her kids. If shes sane, which it sounds like she is, she will repay you. In my experience, the good single Moms are great with their children. And when they get a night or a few hours where the kids are away, they will repay you. If your gut tells you she hasn't together, go for it. How many of us could have got women pregnant by accident? I would judge her based on what you see.
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 4:25:31 PM EDT
[#42]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

How safe is the stepson going to be when his step daddy is doing 20 years because he was too stupid to use his brain?

Try to answer without resorting to a personal attack.
 
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:

It doesn't surprise me that you would characterize the actions taken by a man to ensure the safety of his step-son, once other measures proved ineffective, as "mindless violence".   Because feminism.  LOL.

How safe is the stepson going to be when his step daddy is doing 20 years because he was too stupid to use his brain?

Try to answer without resorting to a personal attack.
 

The stepson seemed to do just fine, as did the man and his wife. Galls you, doesn't it?  
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 4:27:31 PM EDT
[#43]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


 I'm seeing you in a whole new light, Jane.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
I understand your reflexive "Dump the bitch" argument reigns supreme in the world of the misigynowhining bitchmale.

Points awarded by males such as yourself are meaningless in my world.  

Doubling down on the vacuous shaming language. Brilliant.

This is how utterly fucking stupid the hero in 1srelluc's post is:

http://i.imgur.com/unwUN6f.jpg

http://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title18.2/chapter4/

What is a Class 2 felony?

http://i.imgur.com/c6MMLiX.jpg

But apparently, in PJ's world, going full retard to risk your liberty for 20+ years, lose your 2nd amendment rights, and be a lifelong felon is what a "man" will do to solve a woman's problem.

Pointing out that that is illogical will result in cries of "misigynowhining bitchmale".



http://i.imgur.com/8E9ECT9.jpg

But, distressing as I'm sure it is in misogynowhining bitchmale world, the hero of our story didn't go to jail, did he?  That really galls you that the man took care of his wife and step-son's problem. A sensible bitchmale would have just walked away, right?



 I'm seeing you in a whole new light, Jane.



Me too.. and I like it.

Link Posted: 11/29/2015 4:28:28 PM EDT
[#44]

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:





Uh-oh!  



Prepare for incoming.  When I made that point a few months ago I was excoriated for it.  
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:



Quoted:


Quoted:

.





Is she really a single mother aka had kid outside of wedlock or is she divorced? Big difference to me.





Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile


Uh-oh!  



Prepare for incoming.  When I made that point a few months ago I was excoriated for it.  


If a woman is a good wife and mother and becomes a widow, then that is the only exception for single motherhood I am willing to make. There are too many good girls out there to waste time looking for a wife in the divorcee or bastard factory spheres.



 
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 4:29:42 PM EDT
[#45]

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:





The stepson seemed to do just fine, as did the man and his wife. Galls you, doesn't it?  

View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:



Quoted:


Quoted:



It doesn't surprise me that you would characterize the actions taken by a man to ensure the safety of his step-son, once other measures proved ineffective, as "mindless violence".   Because feminism.  LOL.



How safe is the stepson going to be when his step daddy is doing 20 years because he was too stupid to use his brain?



Try to answer without resorting to a personal attack.

 


The stepson seemed to do just fine, as did the man and his wife. Galls you, doesn't it?  



Oh, so close. Try again.



 
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 4:31:41 PM EDT
[#46]
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 4:32:47 PM EDT
[#47]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

Oh, so close. Try again.
 
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:

It doesn't surprise me that you would characterize the actions taken by a man to ensure the safety of his step-son, once other measures proved ineffective, as "mindless violence".   Because feminism.  LOL.

How safe is the stepson going to be when his step daddy is doing 20 years because he was too stupid to use his brain?

Try to answer without resorting to a personal attack.
 

The stepson seemed to do just fine, as did the man and his wife. Galls you, doesn't it?  

Oh, so close. Try again.
 

Did you intend that to be in anyway responsive to my post? Or was that just a standard internet gambit?
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 4:35:01 PM EDT
[#48]
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 4:37:44 PM EDT
[#49]
Keep the pimp hand strong.
Link Posted: 11/29/2015 4:46:13 PM EDT
[#50]

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:





All of this.



5-6 times?  Glutton for punishment, eh?
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:



Quoted:

1)  Drama.  Lots of it.   Family of the girl.  Ex of the girl.  Kid politics/tug-o-wars between parents

2)  You'll always....always be #2.  Even after the kid leaves home.   You'll never rate more than a dude who provides money/entertainment for the girl+her kid.

3)  Likely, you'll get drawn into or being provoked into a fight if the ex is an asshole/drunk/doper

4)  It's gonna cost you lots of money

5)  You're gonna get the shit used out of you 99 times out of 100; unless she is pulling down some serious cash.

6)  Be prepared to spend lots of time with the kid (even when she says the kid is with a sitter or something).  The kid will 7-times out of 10 end up crashing or

    there being an "emergency" and the kid ends up with you guys

7)  The kid will eventually figure out what you're doing to mom and will often actively sabotage lovin'-time.

8)  The kid knows how to play the game and mom will never hold the kid accountable.  The kid will turn out to be a shithead because he/she knows you will

     be out of the decision loop at home.



Just not worth it unless the kid is an infant and the dad is out of the picture completely or dead.







Even then...it's usually not worth the trouble.





Been down that road about 5-6 times. It ALWAYS ends the same.



All of this.



5-6 times?  Glutton for punishment, eh?
Hound for pre-trained pussy, most likely.  

 
Page / 11
Close Join Our Mail List to Stay Up To Date! Win a FREE Membership!

Sign up for the ARFCOM weekly newsletter and be entered to win a free ARFCOM membership. One new winner* is announced every week!

You will receive an email every Friday morning featuring the latest chatter from the hottest topics, breaking news surrounding legislation, as well as exclusive deals only available to ARFCOM email subscribers.


By signing up you agree to our User Agreement. *Must have a registered ARFCOM account to win.
Top Top