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Posted: 11/27/2015 8:43:13 PM EDT
[#1]
I'm in West Chester. Where's dinner? May I join you two?
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Posted: 11/27/2015 8:46:08 PM EDT
[#2]
Quoted:
As your typical Arfcommer, I'm clueless with women. Somehow one found me likable enough to ask me out. I don't really know what the best date ideas are anymore. Restrictions: I'm a cripple with a bad back so any really active things like hiking or bowling are out. We're having dinner, but beyond that I haven't a clue. Like I said it has been a long time so I'd like to make this memorable enough to last another decade. And go! Anything where there is something to focus on besides you or her. Bonus points if it is a shared hobby/passion. For example: * Zoo * Museum * Car show * Gun show * Tattoo show * Any other kind of show, except for a donkey show * Rent a limo for 2 hrs. just so you can ride around in an affluent area and, at a stop, roll your window down and ask a stranger, "Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?", to see if she get's it * Helicopter or other aerial tour of the area * Drive around and look at Christmas lights * Drive around and look at crazy people * Get a taxi and tell the driver you want to go see where all the weirdos in the area hang out * Go to a snake farm * Go to a circus side show * Go to a high-end wine store and ask what goes well with really good weed In other words, go do something offbeat and check out her reaction. If she has an off-the-wall sense of humor and loves to laugh, you have a winner. If she thinks you are fucked up, you are able to filter her out right away. |
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Posted: 11/27/2015 8:47:09 PM EDT
[#3]
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You're dating now man... Trust me, Start.... Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Rub one out before you go. Twice. And two shots of bourbon before the date. Noted. I'm not a drinker, though. You're dating now man... Trust me, Start.... Wise words. 
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Posted: 11/27/2015 8:50:04 PM EDT
[#4]
Don't forget the signed consent form.
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Posted: 11/27/2015 8:51:28 PM EDT
[#5]
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Myself is a terrible, miserable human being. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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relax, be yourself and go where the evening takes you. Myself is a terrible, miserable human being. She obviously thinks otherwise. Something (maybe many things) about you interests her. You come across as an intelligent & funny guy. Women like that. Be yourself ... It's gotten you this far with her. |
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Posted: 11/27/2015 8:56:16 PM EDT
[#6]
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Do you even 13th step bro?  Quote HistoryQuoted:
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I had a friend who only dated AA women. He met them all at alcoholics anonymous? Do you even 13th step bro? 
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Posted: 11/27/2015 8:59:40 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Get some sliders and seek out chase45 this |
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Posted: 11/27/2015 9:02:42 PM EDT
[#8]
You should wear pants
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Posted: 11/27/2015 9:05:45 PM EDT
[#9]
Come join me for wine and appitizers
Have fun. Its always a bit easier, and less pressure to go as a group, with another couple- you don't have to carry the conversation by yourself. |
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Posted: 11/27/2015 9:09:52 PM EDT
[#10]
Stinky Pinky
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Posted: 11/27/2015 9:11:59 PM EDT
[#11]
Whatever you do, don't feed her shots and BBQ sliders!!! |
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Posted: 11/27/2015 9:14:48 PM EDT
[#12]
1) Rub one out before you go.
2) Take a shower (hey you're an ARFCOMMER---they don't bathe as a rule, so I have to remind you) 3) Be sure to tell your mom that you'll be out extra-late and for her not to lock the basement door 4) Make sure you have your dad's car keys back before breakfast. While he's been retired for 20 years, he still likes to go out early for breakfast 5) Don't wear camo or combat boots of any sort. 6) Only CCW one handgun 7) It's not necessary to immediately talk about weapons on the first date 8) If she weighs more than you, wears horn-rimmed glasses, uses the word "imperialist" or "sexist", or is wearing a Che Guevara T-Shirt, just run. 9) BRUSH YOUR FUCKING TEETH. Mouthwash wouldn't hurt, either. 10) Make sure you remind her that yes, you're 38 years old and you still live at home. This sort of thing always will come back to haunt you. Good Luck 
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Posted: 11/27/2015 9:28:18 PM EDT
[#13]
Wine.
Keep the conversation going. Do Not go to the movies. Try a new resturant. |
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Posted: 11/27/2015 9:34:52 PM EDT
[#14]
(tag for AAR) |
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Posted: 11/27/2015 9:44:44 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
In 2003 I took some shrapnel to my spine. It took a year to learn to walk again. My Fiancee left when she was told I'd never walk again. 1. That fucking sucks. 2. Thank you for your service. 3. Thank you for the funniest thread in a long time. 4. With your sense of humor and attitude, I think you'll do fine. Good luck. 
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Posted: 11/27/2015 9:46:23 PM EDT
[#16]
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1. That fucking sucks. 2. Thank you for your service. 3. Thank you for the funniest thread in a long time. 4. With your sense of humor and attitude, I think you'll do fine. Good luck. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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In 2003 I took some shrapnel to my spine. It took a year to learn to walk again. My Fiancee left when she was told I'd never walk again. 1. That fucking sucks. 2. Thank you for your service. 3. Thank you for the funniest thread in a long time. 4. With your sense of humor and attitude, I think you'll do fine. Good luck. Dude...that's fucking awful. Real piece of work, that girl. 
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Posted: 11/27/2015 9:48:50 PM EDT
[#17]
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Find out how to be friends. Go from there. First date in 10 years. Friend Zone is out. His friend has 5 chubby sisters. Bad back makes a good excuse to be on the bottom and let her do all the work.
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Posted: 11/27/2015 9:49:21 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Come join me for wine and appitizers http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l313/ezecheese/A5264D7E-B37B-4AB4-8692-BA10879AD40D_zpswtbblwyt.jpg http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l313/ezecheese/44F9478A-A9BB-4867-83B1-AC39FF568AAC_zpsoszolshn.jpg http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l313/ezecheese/0622C5A1-0CB2-4636-BE5C-FA343267D412_zpsenp8tyos.jpg Have fun. Its always a bit easier, and less pressure to go as a group, with another couple- you don't have to carry the conversation by yourself. He mentioned beaver pics and a visit to a porn shop. Does your fancy-schmancy restaurant have a dungeon, or maybe a chocolate waterfall?
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Posted: 11/27/2015 9:49:55 PM EDT
[#19]
If she smokes she pokes.
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Posted: 11/27/2015 9:53:55 PM EDT
[#20]
Listen when she talks and ask questions about what she's talking about. If you're not interested in what she's saying, pretend to be. It all sounds obvious, but it's often overlooked. And it works.
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Posted: 11/27/2015 9:57:39 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
He mentioned beaver pics and a visit to a porn shop. Does your fancy-schmancy restaurant have a dungeon, or maybe a chocolate waterfall? Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Come join me for wine and appitizers http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l313/ezecheese/A5264D7E-B37B-4AB4-8692-BA10879AD40D_zpswtbblwyt.jpg http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l313/ezecheese/44F9478A-A9BB-4867-83B1-AC39FF568AAC_zpsoszolshn.jpg http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l313/ezecheese/0622C5A1-0CB2-4636-BE5C-FA343267D412_zpsenp8tyos.jpg Have fun. Its always a bit easier, and less pressure to go as a group, with another couple- you don't have to carry the conversation by yourself. He mentioned beaver pics and a visit to a porn shop. Does your fancy-schmancy restaurant have a dungeon, or maybe a chocolate waterfall? Of course I am in Mexico. All kinds of freaky shit goes on here. The fancier the place, the freakier the chick. 
It was a cheap date. |
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Posted: 11/27/2015 10:07:51 PM EDT
[#22]
op...
Brother...unless the docs grafted your man bits on to your forehead...you will get blown/laid. I know your mobility sucks, but a lot of beautiful human beings are actually attracted to slightly dinged wounded heroes. Breathe. Pick up some magnum jimmy jackets, don't force any conversation and watch the 'ol angus...unless she has thin fingers. Protip, make sure you are manscaped, and rub one out a few hours prior to crossing the LD. Hit it hero, hit it good. And be neither clingy, nor an ass. Be you. I predict...AT LEAST... a FWB scenario. Maybe more, don't rush it, but don't feign disinterest. heeeeet eeeeet. Courtesy: the GD Love Doctor who never heeds his own advice. |
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Posted: 11/27/2015 10:09:07 PM EDT
[#23]
I havent dated since high school.
As i recall, some combination of getting sloppy drunk and aggressively handsy always got me far with the wimmenz. 
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Posted: 11/27/2015 10:10:55 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
1. That fucking sucks. 2. Thank you for your service. 3. Thank you for the funniest thread in a long time. 4. With your sense of humor and attitude, I think you'll do fine. Good luck. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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In 2003 I took some shrapnel to my spine. It took a year to learn to walk again. My Fiancee left when she was told I'd never walk again. 1. That fucking sucks. 2. Thank you for your service. 3. Thank you for the funniest thread in a long time. 4. With your sense of humor and attitude, I think you'll do fine. Good luck. You found out her character in time. |
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Posted: 11/27/2015 10:17:59 PM EDT
[#25]
white guy + black woman?
number 1 rule - show all the courtesies attributed to gentlemen, ie. open their door, pull their chair, order for them, etc........while still retaining enough self confidence to look like you could bounce at any minute. You pull that off, and she'll be praying to the god of your choice for the privilege of satisfying all your carnal desires. I hope you read this before you leave tonight. Looking forward to the AAR. (married to black woman for 13 years) |
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Posted: 11/27/2015 10:19:42 PM EDT
[#26]
[arfcom]Four fingers in the pink thumb in the stink bro. A first date is no time to be timid.[arfcom]
you be you and have a good time. |
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Posted: 11/27/2015 11:36:11 PM EDT
[#27]
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She wants me to teach her how to shoot, but she's nervous because she's never handled a firearm before, She is sounds like she is willing to put out, and give BJ's, plus she wants to learn to shoot. Put a ring on it, sounds like a keeper. |
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Posted: 11/28/2015 1:01:58 AM EDT
[#28]
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1. Never let on how much you like a girl. 2. Always call the shots. 3. Act like wherever you are - that’s the place to be. 4. When ordering food, find out what she wants then order for both of you. It’s a classy move. 5. When it comes to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV. Damone?! |
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Posted: 11/28/2015 1:12:50 AM EDT
[#29]
You starts.....by gettins' her in da mood, with 2 glasses and a bottle of Courvoisier. Aloha, Mark |
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Posted: 11/28/2015 1:21:16 AM EDT
[#30]
In.
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Posted: 11/28/2015 1:23:07 AM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
this Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Get some sliders and seek out chase45 this
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Posted: 11/28/2015 1:28:22 AM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: http://i813.photobucket.com/albums/zz55/ma96782/AR15dotcom/ladies-man.jpg You starts.....by gettins' her in da mood, with 2 glasses and a bottle of Courvoisier. Aloha, Mark |
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Posted: 11/28/2015 1:34:35 AM EDT
[#33]
It's getting late. Why hasn't he updated?
That boy's grounded if he's out all night! 
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Posted: 11/28/2015 1:41:33 AM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
1. STOP means go2. NO means yes 3. YES means faster Good luck. 4. I am calling the cops means I AM CALLING THE COPS
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Posted: 11/28/2015 2:11:51 AM EDT
[#35]
Step one: Cut a hole in the popcorn bucket
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Posted: 11/28/2015 2:19:23 AM EDT
[#36]
Don't take your dick out
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Posted: 11/28/2015 2:31:42 AM EDT
[#37]
Thank you for your service op, hope all is well,and had a big time. But not to big like a roofie and waking up in a bathtub full of ice in a cheap motel, or taking a roofie in the motel and agreeing to be tied up and the last thing you can remember is being face down naked and seeing some big dude in a superman costume walk out of a closet with a grinn on his face. And now you know why your asshole is sore. Hope you remembered to drop your pants when the humpin started goin on. Cheers to having a good Time.
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Posted: 11/28/2015 2:37:18 AM EDT
[#38]
Treat her like dirt and she'll stick to you like mud.
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Posted: 11/28/2015 2:47:22 AM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Don't take your dick out Get out of here.
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Posted: 11/28/2015 2:53:29 AM EDT
[#40]
Bump for AAR....
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Posted: 11/28/2015 2:58:10 AM EDT
[#41]
I missed the opportunity before you headed out to offer my genuine thanks for your service, congratulations, and good luck wishes. If I could offer any advice, it would be to allow yourself to be open to possibilities and accepting of her interest in you as a human being.
But I showed up late, so I can only wait and hope she didn't order the sliders. Good luck, man, on this and future dates. |
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Posted: 11/28/2015 3:33:42 AM EDT
[#42]
Thanks everyone. We had a good time. She's sleeping now, we're going out to breakfast in the morning.
Will update later. |
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Posted: 11/28/2015 4:46:58 AM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Thanks everyone. We had a good time. She's sleeping now, we're going out to breakfast in the morning. Will update later.
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Posted: 11/28/2015 4:49:26 AM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Thanks everyone. We had a good time. She's sleeping now, we're going out to breakfast in the morning. Will update later. Did you get the blowjob that was promised??? ETA: As soon as I posted that, I thought of this:  |
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Posted: 11/28/2015 4:52:56 AM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Did you get the blowjob that was promised??? ETA: As soon as I posted that, I thought of this:  https://youtu.be/HFVzql3qoe4
Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Thanks everyone. We had a good time. She's sleeping now, we're going out to breakfast in the morning. Will update later. Did you get the blowjob that was promised??? ETA: As soon as I posted that, I thought of this: https://youtu.be/HFVzql3qoe4
NIGHT 1
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Posted: 11/28/2015 5:00:36 AM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Thanks everyone. We had a good time. She's sleeping now, we're going out to breakfast in the morning. Will update later. Sounds like a home run |
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Posted: 11/28/2015 5:21:52 AM EDT
[#47]
She's "sleeping" off the GHB?
BTW, good job. Hope you had fun. |
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Posted: 11/28/2015 5:33:00 AM EDT
[#48]
Did you tell her about your clean taint before or after she shared her love for The Human Centipede?
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Posted: 11/28/2015 5:44:39 AM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Thanks everyone. We had a good time. She's sleeping now, we're going out to breakfast in the morning. Will update later. You sir...are awesome. |
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Posted: 11/28/2015 5:46:52 AM EDT
[#50]
Go see a doctor, just to be safe. Have her go too. Don't tell them about your Charlie Sheen days.
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