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6/21/2017 8:25:40 PM
Posted: 4/25/2001 2:25:25 PM EDT
Hey guys, you know you have them. Now if I could get you to post them it would be great. Also if you could post any great Clinton cartoons/pictures that would be awesome. mattjedi[x]
Link Posted: 4/25/2001 3:09:46 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/25/2001 3:16:19 PM EDT
Or how about Bill Clintoon getting reelected, and then leaving office with a 60 percent approval rating...made me laugh out loud...freaking unbelievable.
Link Posted: 4/25/2001 3:17:36 PM EDT
Bill and Hillary were married for 40 years. When they first got married Bill said, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 40 years of marriage Hillary never looked. However on the afternoon of their 40th aniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer cans and $1874.25 in cash. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why. That evening they were out for a special dinner. After dinner Hillary could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know why do you keep the cans in the box?" Bill thought for a while and said, "I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again." Hillary was shocked, but said, "I am very disappointed and saddened but I guess after all those years away from home on the road, temptation does happen and I guess that 3 times is not that bad considering the years." They hugged and made their peace. A little while later Hillary asked Bill, "Why do you have all that money in the box?" Bill answered, "Whenever the box filled with empties, I cashed them in."
Link Posted: 4/25/2001 3:24:32 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/25/2001 3:24:04 PM EDT by ARlady]
this one is sort of visual so picture what the words are saying. sorry. also, the punch line uses some vulgar language. be forewarned. here it is: Hillary R. Clinton + "picture a tree here, just a plain old tree" + "picture a line of musical notes here" what does this equal? [purple]COUNTRY MUSIC[/purple] get it?
Link Posted: 4/25/2001 3:30:25 PM EDT
Bill Clinton dies and is on his way to Hell. At Hell's gates he meets Satan. Satan tells Clinton that, since Hell is full, Clinton will be replacing one of the current inhabitants. He will be given the choice of who he will replace forever in Hell. Three doors appear before Clinton. The first door opens. Behind it is Newt Gingrich. He's being forced to pound big rocks into little rocks. Upon seeing Newt in this predicament, Clinton cringes and says, "That looks painful. I don't think this is for me!" The second door opens. Behind it is Ted Kennedy. He is bobbing for automobile parts in a large pool of dirty water. Grimacing at the filthy scene, Clinton says, "I don't think so," The third door opens and behind it is Ken Starr. He's naked and bound hand and foot. Kneeling before him is Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. "I can handle that!" Clinton proclaims enthusiastically. "Very well," says the Devil. "Monica, you can leave now!"
Link Posted: 4/25/2001 8:06:24 PM EDT
c'mon guys, i know you've got some more.
Link Posted: 4/25/2001 8:12:34 PM EDT
Q. What's the difference between meeting the POTUS and meeting the Queen of England? A. When you meet the Queen, you only have to get down on [b]one[/b] knee. [red][size=4] P.R.K.
Link Posted: 4/25/2001 8:13:47 PM EDT
Bill and hillary are on a flight over some 3rd world country and bill says to hillary im gonna throw a 50 doller bill over board and make 1 person happy. Hillary turns to bill and says well im gonna thro 50 1 doller bills over and make 50 people happy then the pilot turns to them and says why dont u give me teh 50 dollers jump out of the plane and make EVERY body happy
Link Posted: 4/25/2001 8:15:52 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/25/2001 8:57:20 PM EDT
Dear Mom & Dad, It has been six months since I left for college. I'm sorry I haven't written more often and I'm very sorry for my unthoughtfulness. I'm sure you have been worried about me. Let me bring you up to date, but before you read on please sit down, OK Don't read any further until you're sitting down. OK? Good. I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got from jumping out of the window of my dormitory when it caught on fire several months ago, are pretty much healed now. I only spent two weeks in the hospital. Mom always said the girls in our family heal fast. In fact, I can almost see normally again and I only get headaches three times a day now. Fortunately, the fire and my jump were witnessed by a gas station attendant who called 911. He's so sweet and even visited me in the hospital. Since I had nowhere to live because of the burnt out dorm he invited me to move into his apartment. It's really his parents basement fixed up but it's kinda cute. He is a really good person and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married. We haven't set a date yet but I'm sure it will be before I start to show. That's right, Mom and Dad, I'm pregnant! I know how much you are both looking forward to being Grandparents, and I know you will give this baby the same love, attention, devotion and care that I got as a baby. We would get married now but we both failed our premarital blood tests due to a minor infection. He had told me about it before hand but dumb me, I caught it anyway. Not to worry the doctor said the daily penicillin injections should clear it up in a month. I know you will welcome him to the family with open arms. He is so kind, and although not well educated, he is ambitious - just like Dad. Also he is of a different race and religion than ours but I know after all you years of teaching me tolerance, that you won't mind the fact that he is a little darker than us. I'm sure you will love him as I do. His family background is good too! I am told his father is an important gun bearer in his native African village. That is an important governemnt position where he comes from. Well, I guess that is all! Now you know why I wanted you to sit down. Now that you are adjusting let me say - there was no dorm fire, I didn't suffer a concussion or skull fracture, I wasn't in the hospital, I'm not pregnant, I'm not engaged, I don't have syphilis and there is no boyfriend of a different race or religion. However, I DID vote for Gov. Bush and I just wanted you both to see this in it's proper perspective. Your loving daughter, Chelsea P.S. Stanford is great..I love it but miss you both and Socks too. P.S.S. Dad, please give my best to Monica and the others.
Link Posted: 4/25/2001 9:16:30 PM EDT
Originally Posted By ARlady: this one is sort of visual so picture what the words are saying. sorry. also, the punch line uses some vulgar language. be forewarned. here it is: Hillary R. Clinton + "picture a tree here, just a plain old tree" + "picture a line of musical notes here" what does this equal? [purple]COUNTRY MUSIC[/purple] get it?
View Quote
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh I get it!
Link Posted: 4/25/2001 10:00:23 PM EDT
Do you know what the difference between Monica Lewinsky and a Hoover vacuum cleaner is? Where you hook up the dirt bag.
Link Posted: 4/25/2001 10:13:05 PM EDT
Originally Posted By ARlady: this one is sort of visual so picture what the words are saying. sorry. also, the punch line uses some vulgar language. be forewarned. here it is: Hillary R. Clinton + "picture a tree here, just a plain old tree" + "picture a line of musical notes here" what does this equal? [purple]COUNTRY MUSIC[/purple] get it?
View Quote
Oh I LIKE that! Still waiting on those pictures ARlady...
Link Posted: 4/25/2001 10:15:54 PM EDT
why does hillery get up at 4 in the morning? so SHE can be first lady.
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