I don't go down on spontaneous ass

i don't know why that is making me laugh so hard....

It's only fair 'cuz the Democrats have been fucking us hard for a long time.

Pube moss mouth wins.

hell yes, he wins...
you cannot deny that man is a survivor.

Thank you!!!  I thought I was the only one!!

I once married the crazy

I have had long term relationships with  two gals with cerebral palsy who used wheelchairs. Both were virgins too.
My wife was diagnosed with MS shortly before our wedding.

Do I win a prize?

I have moderate CP myself.

Umm, actually no.  I was behind her.  Fucks sake.

So who was behind you then?



 

Damn it.

You're up there but you're no pube moss mouth guy.

Sorry for your hardships and good luck.

I've been wrestled with, glass put under my tires, shot at, had two or 3 with the most God-awful smell, threatened to be killed by a girl's brother, etc, etc, but the one lady who REALLY tried to kill me...

I just thought of, after reading all these pages...




I was seeing this Italian separated girl, actually the best I ever had in my life, and I was only -let's see... 20 I think.

Digressing, this one would show up at my apartment with a raincoat on and open it when I answered with bra, garter belt, nylons and tall spike heels.



God she was great. Wonderful! Unbelievable, but what a temper.... What a piece of ass...


One afternoon in the early part of the relationship, she brought her red-neck skinny girl friend with her, her GF had her husband's brand new red Chevy convertible.

They came up to my apt ---and me, being quite young and inexperienced, didn't recognize that Brenda was introducing me to Wanda -now that I think abt it, to have sex with her.

I guess...  

Well I'm a proper, loyal, and prudish person, and after fooling around sitting on the bed and some discussion with Wanda, I made the mistake of telling her I thought of her as my sister [don't know why, I didn't know her that long] and just wanted to be friendly.


MAN! Was she pissed off.




Pretty soon she got Brenda, and they went to her car and I was with them.

I only had the HOTS for Brenda. Damn, she was enough!

A 3 way never occurred to me.  


Wanda's husband's car was parked next to a BIG tree [at least 3 1/2 feet in dia] across from my apt, and Brenda was in the passenger seat [just cute as can be]



and her door was open and I was between the tree and the door.

Wanda got in raging and started up and threw the car in reverse ---I don't know why, maybe trying to pin me against the tree.

I stepped sideways toward Brenda and barely got out from between the tree and the door.

Wanda bent the door back on its hinges...

Brand new car.



I never heard what happened when she got home -or I've forgotten.


Fortunately my relationship with Brenda just got better.




We always laughed abt me telling Wanda I thought of her as a sister...



I don't know, maybe Brenda was testing me????



Oh wait I just realized I posted this in the Dishability topic...

Please remove and I'll repost in the Bad Date topic...

 
I married the crazy... then I divorced the crazy.


I then married another crazy.


I guess I'm just a slow learner.  

Yup.....was an Aggie.

NAS Miramar in the early 91. A little place south of the border called the addalita, one of the "girls" was 2/3rds the way threw an old fashion and I looked down.....  Looked like the claw hand from alien, like bad!!!!! Must have been a combine accident or some shit. Still worked which I don't understand but I have bad dreams about it from time to time.

My wife.



For a whole damn week!





She scheduled appointments for dentist, gynecologist, hand surgeon AND a colonoscopy all in the same week.

The was an awful dry spell.  

Is psycho a disability? Because that will totally determine whether I ve banged a chick with a disability.

 Whatever floats your boat, man.  lol

 

She was legally blind...she could see a little but you could tell. We were mostly friends but I escaped the friendzone one night ..

also had a girl who needed a crutch...mostly friends as well

Dated a girl who was deaf without her hearing aids. I would always mouth gibberish when she was trying to read my lips. She would have me repeat myself 2 or 3 times before catching on that I was fuckin' with her. I snuck up behind her when she was watching TV and belched a terribly loud one right next to her. The cat was scared shitless and ran away, but she didn't even turn around or jump. That's how I checked to see if she was faking the whole thing. Nope, she's deaf.

When doing her from behind, I was free to say whatever the hell I wanted. That was uniquely liberating.

ETA: holy shit, I just now read the OP, and our stories are hilariously similar. So much for being unique!  

The difference in your posts is who was getting what from whom.

 I wonder if his participle was dangling like it is now?

 

Well, I stick to unbroken chicks.  But, my roommate @ Penn State in '96 didn't.

There were a pair of deaf identical twins @ Penn State in the fall of '96.  Smokin hot.  My roommate, who is now a PA State Trooper, banged both of them @ the same time.  He said they nearly destroyed him.  Didn't even receive an invitation to watch that one.  

No mirrors?

lolololol

 

I fucked an asian midget chick in a wheel chair...Seriously..



It was a good fuck.

They'd have to read backwards...  

OP was getting it from behind.

Are you walking okay?

this
holy cow that's weird

Does a harelip count?

I had this cross eyed girlfriend in Brazil, it was a fish eye, a sideways eyeball, like Eye-Gor in Frankenstein. When she played the trombone, that eye would stare at me, I had to look away.

Best thread this year!

Yes, but they're kind of hard to understand sometimes.



 

I remember ducking her at The Western sometimes just to be away from her googly eyed stare.  Granted her new glasses improved the look a little, but they were still think as hell.

I got asked out by a blind girl recently.

She was a solid 6.

I gave her my number, but she never called...

stop. right. there.

I've read this slowly 3x.

were there any more details about the situation that he told you..
inquiring minds and all that.

Haven't heard that since the 'Happy Day's' show from the 70's.

"The French are a peculiar race, they fight with their feet, and fuck with their face".

A vegetable they struggle the least.....

If you were "getting it from behind" you may not have been with a female....

My cousin was a TTY operator. She has many stories about phone sex..

Whoa! Getting it from behind?

We are counting a missing digit as disabled?

A girl I dated was missing a finger. Her daddy was working on his chopper and had it up on Jack stands adjusting the chain. She put her finger near the sprocket and it took the finger off. Her missing digit was no problem but it really freaked me out when I found out her daddy was a 1%er in one of those clubs you don't fuck around with.

Alright cock fags, I was behind a deaf girl for fucks sake.

Someone is a little defensive, it's OK we're an accepting group.  

They can read lips in the mirror.  When I was dating the deaf chick I introduced her to my roommate and when her back was to me, I told him she had a great ass.  She was deaf since birth but could speak somewhat clearly.  She turned around grabbed her ass and said yes it is.  

 
But who was behind you?

This thread has serious potential.