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Posted: 8/25/2015 4:38:06 PM EDT
[#1]
Best thread this year.
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Posted: 8/25/2015 4:40:41 PM EDT
[#2]
Deaf chick
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Posted: 8/25/2015 4:44:33 PM EDT
[#3]
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I hooked up with a deaf girl a few times. The only weirdness was one very awkward phone call when she tried to talk dirty through the TTY operator. I don't remember the operator's name but when I tell the story I refer to him as "Jerome." To this day I appreciate his professionalism.
fucking comedy gold |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 4:44:35 PM EDT
[#4]
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With a hint of grand thefty. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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I was drinking at a bar in Germany when a decent looking broad rolls up on me in her wheelchair and asks me to dance. I refuse politely and continue to drink. My friends encourage me to dance with her and after several drinks were on the floor dancing and rolling. She tells me she has to use the ladies room and so being the gentleman I am I offer my help. I roll her in, get her on the pot, help her off the pot and place her on the counter where I tear her pants and underwear off. I grab her tiny strangely misshapen legs and pump furiously. When I finish I might have left her on the counter and borrowed her wheelchair. Kinda feel bad about it now. Does that count? Sounds a wee bit rapey With a hint of grand thefty. I losty. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 4:46:53 PM EDT
[#5]
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Does Going Down Syndrome count? |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 5:01:54 PM EDT
[#6]
Was her name ILeanna? I may have met her once.
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My uncle banged a Russian girl with a prosthetic leg. |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 5:02:44 PM EDT
[#7]
A deaf girl who doesn't try to utter sounds ever would be awesome. Just sit there quietly and don't try to communicate with me or get my attention in any way.
Wife material. 
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Posted: 8/25/2015 5:03:33 PM EDT
[#8]
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I must have fucked a few like that. There's nothing like flipping a woman over to rail her doggy style and the overwhelming scent of musty asshole instantly kills your boner. I mean what the fuck? These can be women who appear to be normal, seem well groomed and showered, but either don't spread the cheeks and scrub the ass when they shower, don't know how to wipe after they take a shit, or have some sort of a weird anal seepage going on. Anytime I've gone over to a chick's house where I knew I was going to fuck her (and we always do know, don't we gents) I've made sure to wash my dick and balls well and to give my ass a good scrubbing. For fuck's sake. Only thing worse is going down on a woman - for about the three seconds it takes to say "oh holy shit fuck no" and come back up because her pussy stinks. That's only happened a handful of times, thankfully. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Ex was in a motorcycle accident. Lost her sense of smell from brain injury. All else was normal. I farted all the time around her and no matter how raunchy she didn't care. But she couldn't tell when she stunk though....and she worked out constantly. I must have fucked a few like that. There's nothing like flipping a woman over to rail her doggy style and the overwhelming scent of musty asshole instantly kills your boner. I mean what the fuck? These can be women who appear to be normal, seem well groomed and showered, but either don't spread the cheeks and scrub the ass when they shower, don't know how to wipe after they take a shit, or have some sort of a weird anal seepage going on. Anytime I've gone over to a chick's house where I knew I was going to fuck her (and we always do know, don't we gents) I've made sure to wash my dick and balls well and to give my ass a good scrubbing. For fuck's sake. Only thing worse is going down on a woman - for about the three seconds it takes to say "oh holy shit fuck no" and come back up because her pussy stinks. That's only happened a handful of times, thankfully. BTDT.. some of the most gorgeous women I have ever had nekkid.. had the personal hygiene of a Russian Sailor. I was always like.. Damn.. Unknown Hinson style. |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 5:06:52 PM EDT
[#9]
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I went to a high school dance once with a disabled girl in a wheelchair, she asked me. She was very pretty and thin but could only walk about 10 feet without the chair to lean on. We only "danced" one dance, she did barely more than stand there, everyone applauded. After we left, she thanked me profusely--then insisted we go to the lake for what was then called "submarine racing". No second date, she just wanted the experience(s) to remember, I told her I understood. I enjoyed the entire thing, plus it gave me great social credit with other female students who thought I was really "nice" for doing this with her. we call those Mercy Fucks.. good karma. |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 5:10:19 PM EDT
[#10]
Deaf girl in college, that chick was wild.
Does a 4'10 girl count 80lb girl count ....and yes she was old enough to drink
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Posted: 8/25/2015 5:27:11 PM EDT
[#11]
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I losty. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile Quote HistoryQuoted:
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I was drinking at a bar in Germany when a decent looking broad rolls up on me in her wheelchair and asks me to dance. I refuse politely and continue to drink. My friends encourage me to dance with her and after several drinks were on the floor dancing and rolling. She tells me she has to use the ladies room and so being the gentleman I am I offer my help. I roll her in, get her on the pot, help her off the pot and place her on the counter where I tear her pants and underwear off. I grab her tiny strangely misshapen legs and pump furiously. When I finish I might have left her on the counter and borrowed her wheelchair. Kinda feel bad about it now. Does that count? Sounds a wee bit rapey With a hint of grand thefty. I losty. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile I admit to the thievery but the sex was concentual |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 5:29:55 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I hooked up with a deaf girl a few times. The only weirdness was one very awkward phone call when she tried to talk dirty through the TTY operator. I don't remember the operator's name but when I tell the story I refer to him as "Jerome." To this day I appreciate his professionalism.  
I fuckin love this place! |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 5:33:26 PM EDT
[#13]
This thread is fucked
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Posted: 8/25/2015 5:47:20 PM EDT
[#14]
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I don't even know what a walleye is and yet I almost barfed in the garage from laughing so hard at this post. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Did a chick missing part of her right arm. Cut off just below the elbow. felt kinda weird when she would attempt to grasp my back. The more I sweated the more she would lose grip. she had a slight walleye too. 
I don't even know what a walleye is and yet I almost barfed in the garage from laughing so hard at this post. 
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Posted: 8/25/2015 5:48:30 PM EDT
[#15]
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Dated a chick with turrets, boy could she talk dirty!  As a Tanker, I could fap to that... |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 5:58:35 PM EDT
[#16]
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This man knows the deal. The first chick who ever swallowed my kids was a slightly chubby German chick. She was nuts, too, as it turns out. She got really pissed off when I called off a date by saying I had to go to the field for an overnight land navigation course, so that I could go to a festival on the air base in the city across the river, only to have her see me there, drinking and dancing with another chick who was MUCH hotter than she could ever hope to be. But, she gave good head. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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My gut tells me to rip on you for fat chicks but my hearts says "Fucking great job!" Big girls need love too.. and they give great BJs. This man knows the deal. The first chick who ever swallowed my kids was a slightly chubby German chick. She was nuts, too, as it turns out. She got really pissed off when I called off a date by saying I had to go to the field for an overnight land navigation course, so that I could go to a festival on the air base in the city across the river, only to have her see me there, drinking and dancing with another chick who was MUCH hotter than she could ever hope to be. But, she gave good head. This story sounds... Familiar... What's up Eskimo Brother?!?!?!?! |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 6:01:40 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
BTDT.. some of the most gorgeous women I have ever had nekkid.. had the personal hygiene of a Russian Sailor. I was always like.. Damn.. Unknown Hinson style. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Ex was in a motorcycle accident. Lost her sense of smell from brain injury. All else was normal. I farted all the time around her and no matter how raunchy she didn't care. But she couldn't tell when she stunk though....and she worked out constantly. I must have fucked a few like that. There's nothing like flipping a woman over to rail her doggy style and the overwhelming scent of musty asshole instantly kills your boner. I mean what the fuck? These can be women who appear to be normal, seem well groomed and showered, but either don't spread the cheeks and scrub the ass when they shower, don't know how to wipe after they take a shit, or have some sort of a weird anal seepage going on. Anytime I've gone over to a chick's house where I knew I was going to fuck her (and we always do know, don't we gents) I've made sure to wash my dick and balls well and to give my ass a good scrubbing. For fuck's sake. Only thing worse is going down on a woman - for about the three seconds it takes to say "oh holy shit fuck no" and come back up because her pussy stinks. That's only happened a handful of times, thankfully. BTDT.. some of the most gorgeous women I have ever had nekkid.. had the personal hygiene of a Russian Sailor. I was always like.. Damn.. Unknown Hinson style. I'm dying laughing!
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Posted: 8/25/2015 6:08:36 PM EDT
[#18]
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My uncle banged a Russian girl with a prosthetic leg. Uncle Tony? Ok Christopher. |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 6:10:55 PM EDT
[#19]
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I once had sex with someone that was crippled by falling off a mountain. I was roofied though. WHERE THE HELL IS SAUERPATCHKID?! |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 6:37:56 PM EDT
[#20]
When I was at RIT, which has a big deaf school, I knew a kid who learned to sign "nice shoes. Want to fuck?" That's all he could sign. This worked way more than I thought it should have.
We also used to troll the online TTY people (IP Relay). |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 6:53:44 PM EDT
[#21]
Dated a deaf girl for like 3-4 months. Sex was great, she was a screamer!
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Posted: 8/25/2015 6:55:50 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
This story sounds... Familiar... What's up Eskimo Brother?!?!?!?! Quote HistoryQuoted:
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My gut tells me to rip on you for fat chicks but my hearts says "Fucking great job!" Big girls need love too.. and they give great BJs. This man knows the deal. The first chick who ever swallowed my kids was a slightly chubby German chick. She was nuts, too, as it turns out. She got really pissed off when I called off a date by saying I had to go to the field for an overnight land navigation course, so that I could go to a festival on the air base in the city across the river, only to have her see me there, drinking and dancing with another chick who was MUCH hotter than she could ever hope to be. But, she gave good head. This story sounds... Familiar... What's up Eskimo Brother?!?!?!?! You remember the high-rise apartment buildings directly across the street from Pizzeria DiSalvo, outside the front gate of Lee Barracks? She lived in one of those apartments, overlooking the strassenbahn stop. The fest was over at Lindsey AB. When my buddy and I were waiting for the strass, to go tot he hauptbahnhof, I kept trying to hide behind the map board, lest she she me and come downstairs to bitch at me. lol Lo and behold, she went to Lindsey with some friends. It was an interesting evening, to be sure. I was drinking Gin 'n Juice, as well as Asbach and Coke that night, which helped lower my inhibitions about telling her to fuck off. |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 6:57:01 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
When I was at RIT, which has a big deaf school, I knew a kid who learned to sign "nice shoes. Want to fuck?" That's all he could sign. This worked way more than I thought it should have. We also used to troll the online TTY people (IP Relay). For those who don't know, he's referring to NTID (National Technical Institue for the Deaf, the largest deaf technical college in the world), which is integrated tightly with RIT (a private engineering focused college). They have an entire dorm building to themselves (they can live in the other integrated dorms if they want), and all the rooms have deaf person door bells (strobe lights) and if you walk the halls of that dorm at night you hear some very unique sounds. As a side effect all the dorm entrances have TTY systems, and many RIT classes have interpreters in them, as well as all the concerts/events. The performers always get a kick out of trying to trip up those guys, or just force them to say naughty words. For a long time the main guy who did the big events looked a lot like santa (he may still be there), which made it all the more strange for him to be furiously signing swear words with a jolly smile, rosy cheeks, and white beard. |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 7:01:55 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
My uncle banged a Russian girl with a prosthetic leg. 
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Posted: 8/25/2015 7:08:36 PM EDT
[#25]
Does Alopecia count? She was hot and I'd had a few I remember being completely fascinated how smooth she was all over, kept telling her but she never said anything.
Woke up next day to find her hair two feet from her head |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 7:15:39 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Some deaf gal who yelled , Ballooooooooo, Balooooooo and signed stuff I dîdnt understand whole time I was nailing her. I kept laughing telling her shhhhhhhh so the people in the next motel room didnt have to hear it. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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My brother knew this chick from out west while he was playing Junior A hockey. We ended up in that town one night and I hooked up with the sister who was deaf. She was super nice and pretty. She could only mumble shit but her sister did some translating. When I was getting it from behind I was thinking to myself that I could say the most dirtiest shit ever and it wouldn't matter. I didn't though. She was a sweetheart. So have you?"
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Posted: 8/25/2015 7:21:38 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I hooked up with a deaf girl a few times. The only weirdness was one very awkward phone call when she tried to talk dirty through the TTY operator. I don't remember the operator's name but when I tell the story I refer to him as "Jerome." To this day I appreciate his professionalism.
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Posted: 8/25/2015 7:26:47 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
For those who don't know, he's referring to NTID (National Technical Institue for the Deaf, the largest deaf technical college in the world), which is integrated tightly with RIT (a private engineering focused college). They have an entire dorm building to themselves (they can live in the other integrated dorms if they want), and all the rooms have deaf person door bells (strobe lights) and if you walk the halls of that dorm at night you hear some very unique sounds. As a side effect all the dorm entrances have TTY systems, and many RIT classes have interpreters in them, as well as all the concerts/events. The performers always get a kick out of trying to trip up those guys, or just force them to say naughty words. For a long time the main guy who did the big events looked a lot like santa (he may still be there), which made it all the more strange for him to be furiously signing swear words with a jolly smile, rosy cheeks, and white beard. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
When I was at RIT, which has a big deaf school, I knew a kid who learned to sign "nice shoes. Want to fuck?" That's all he could sign. This worked way more than I thought it should have. We also used to troll the online TTY people (IP Relay). For those who don't know, he's referring to NTID (National Technical Institue for the Deaf, the largest deaf technical college in the world), which is integrated tightly with RIT (a private engineering focused college). They have an entire dorm building to themselves (they can live in the other integrated dorms if they want), and all the rooms have deaf person door bells (strobe lights) and if you walk the halls of that dorm at night you hear some very unique sounds. As a side effect all the dorm entrances have TTY systems, and many RIT classes have interpreters in them, as well as all the concerts/events. The performers always get a kick out of trying to trip up those guys, or just force them to say naughty words. For a long time the main guy who did the big events looked a lot like santa (he may still be there), which made it all the more strange for him to be furiously signing swear words with a jolly smile, rosy cheeks, and white beard. I used to be Asst. Dir. of Interpreting there from 69-73. Met my wife there, too. |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 7:30:26 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I hooked up with a deaf girl a few times. The only weirdness was one very awkward phone call when she tried to talk dirty through the TTY operator. I don't remember the operator's name but when I tell the story I refer to him as "Jerome." To this day I appreciate his professionalism. We had a tty in our apt because my wife is deaf. One afternoon I got an obscene tty call from a young deaf gal. I thought it was hilarious since it was printed on a piece of paper I could read it and laugh any time I wanted. It took a few hours to find out who did it cause only 10 people in our community had ttys then. |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 8:15:32 PM EDT
[#30]
My friend has an absolutely gorgeous sister who has some trouble walking. I forget what she said her condition is, but shes otherwise completely normal.
Trying to bang. Lol |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 8:23:12 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My friend has an absolutely gorgeous sister who has some trouble walking. I forget what she said her condition is, but shes otherwise completely normal. Trying to bang. Lol It's called alcoholism |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 8:27:12 PM EDT
[#32]
Deaf chick also. She was pretty dumb too. And Guatemalan.
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Posted: 8/25/2015 8:29:30 PM EDT
[#33]
Quoted:
My brother knew this chick from out west while he was playing Junior A hockey. We ended up in that town one night and I hooked up with the sister who was deaf. She was super nice and pretty. She could only mumble shit but her sister did some translating. When I was getting it from behind I was thinking to myself that I could say the most dirtiest shit ever and it wouldn't matter. I didn't though. She was a sweetheart. So have you?" No but there was a deaf girl down the hall from me in the dorms my freshman year that I wanted to bang. Really cute brunette girl with frizzy hair and some nice perky boobies. Never happened though. 
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Posted: 8/25/2015 8:44:22 PM EDT
[#34]
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I've banged a few Canadian chicks, does that count? In all seriousness no, never banged a woman with a disability but one woman had a very large port wine stain over part of her face, neck, shoulders, and back. Partial credit? I tagged a chick like that 15 years ago......
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Posted: 8/25/2015 8:44:50 PM EDT
[#35]
I fucked a girl with a speech impediment and yes the impediment was very noticeable when she was cumming.
I'd do her again. |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 8:46:47 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Does Alopecia count? She was hot and I'd had a few I remember being completely fascinated how smooth she was all over, kept telling her but she never said anything. Woke up next day to find her hair two feet from her head I lost it there this thread if fucking gold. |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 8:47:32 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryYou know, we are both going to Hell. You for posting it, and me for laughing at it. Fucker. |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 9:19:49 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I fucked a girl with a speech impediment and yes the impediment was very noticeable when she was cumming. I'd do her again. I got a big lisper once, the only real handicap I ever tagged. She also had a lazy eye and a pretty good snaggle tooth. She was a larger girl, and a squirter. It was like fucking a water bed with a hole in it. |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 9:28:34 PM EDT
[#39]
Dated a Wiccan girl who was missing one finger, and part of another. She made jewelry, and a chain she was polishing on a wheel got loose. One of the sweetest, nicest people you could ever meet. Luckily she found someone nicer than me.
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Posted: 8/25/2015 9:35:58 PM EDT
[#40]
I did. She was a democrat social worker who always seemed to go off her Lithium, had celiacs disease and thought Obama is the greatest president we have ever had... Close enough?
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Posted: 8/25/2015 10:00:00 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Dated a deaf girl for like 3-4 months. Sex was great, she was a screamer! Gnhaaaa, Gnhaaaa... |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 10:07:10 PM EDT
[#42]
Oh yeah...but does it count if I had the disability: got tossed out of a vehicle and had a broken leg, broken left arm, the right wrist with a pin it, road rash, broken jaw with mouth wired shut (some metal caging with a number of bands...could open enough to suck cans of ensure)
Had a friend who wanted to give me a mercy lay but just about anything I did resulted in pain, tried the bed, over the back of her couch, and then to the floor...the encounter resulted in some type of reverse cowgirl thing and then she moved her ass up to humping my face like she was riding a bull...yeah I was being used but didn't care... I felt like the elephant man! Jump ahead a week or two and time to pull off the caging and change out the bands... When your mouth is caged like that, I swear moss grows in there...at a follow up doc asked if was taking the meds(no) staying off my feet (no) no strenuous activity (well except for the rodeo) but as the doc and nurse are at work I can see the odd facial expressions and to my horror start seeing pubes being pulled out of my mouth along with mossy looking flem that I can describe as having a smell like an old can of cat food... Was hoping that it wasn't really noticed...but afterwards I recall the doc saying something like no more carnival rides until the stitches are out |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 10:31:11 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
My uncle banged a Russian girl with a prosthetic leg. Damn, If a prosthetic leg fit in there I'll bet he couldn't feel shit when he used his dick. |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 10:48:13 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Oh yeah...but does it count if I had the disability: got tossed out of a vehicle and had a broken leg, broken left arm, the right wrist with a pin it, road rash, broken jaw with mouth wired shut (some metal caging with a number of bands...could open enough to suck cans of ensure) Had a friend who wanted to give me a mercy lay but just about anything I did resulted in pain, tried the bed, over the back of her couch, and then to the floor...the encounter resulted in some type of reverse cowgirl thing and then she moved her ass up to humping my face like she was riding a bull...yeah I was being used but didn't care... I felt like the elephant man! Jump ahead a week or two and time to pull off the caging and change out the bands... When your mouth is caged like that, I swear moss grows in there...at a follow up doc asked if was taking the meds(no) staying off my feet (no) no strenuous activity (well except for the rodeo) but as the doc and nurse are at work I can see the odd facial expressions and to my horror start seeing pubes being pulled out of my mouth along with mossy looking flem that I can describe as having a smell like an old can of cat food... Was hoping that it wasn't really noticed...but afterwards I recall the doc saying something like no more carnival rides until the stitches are out you win. "pube moss" |
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Posted: 8/25/2015 10:53:58 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Oh yeah...but does it count if I had the disability: got tossed out of a vehicle and had a broken leg, broken left arm, the right wrist with a pin it, road rash, broken jaw with mouth wired shut (some metal caging with a number of bands...could open enough to suck cans of ensure) Had a friend who wanted to give me a mercy lay but just about anything I did resulted in pain, tried the bed, over the back of her couch, and then to the floor...the encounter resulted in some type of reverse cowgirl thing and then she moved her ass up to humping my face like she was riding a bull...yeah I was being used but didn't care... I felt like the elephant man! Jump ahead a week or two and time to pull off the caging and change out the bands... When your mouth is caged like that, I swear moss grows in there...at a follow up doc asked if was taking the meds(no) staying off my feet (no) no strenuous activity (well except for the rodeo) but as the doc and nurse are at work I can see the odd facial expressions and to my horror start seeing pubes being pulled out of my mouth along with mossy looking flem that I can describe as having a smell like an old can of cat food... Was hoping that it wasn't really noticed...but afterwards I recall the doc saying something like no more carnival rides until the stitches are out lmbo!!!
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Posted: 8/25/2015 11:28:11 PM EDT
[#46]
Several of them. One was retarded, one was a Democrat and the last one was anti-gun. The last one gave me an ultimatum...me or the guns. I rarely think of her while I am at the shooting range anymore.
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Posted: 8/25/2015 11:54:09 PM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Does Going Down Syndrome count? 
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Posted: 8/26/2015 1:44:08 AM EDT
[#48]
Deaf girl, and I thought I was going to be all smooth by turning on the stereo to play a little music the first time
I will never forget the sounds she made the rest of my life. One summer in college, me and a this smoking hot blonde who was missing her left hand, got drunk and fucked a few times. She lived in our apartment complex and about two or three times a month we'd hook up. She moved somewhere back east and transferred to another school.
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Posted: 8/26/2015 1:53:24 AM EDT
[#49]
Does carpal tunnel count?
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Posted: 8/26/2015 4:14:47 AM EDT
[#50]
Epic thread lol
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