OP, just use my system and the wife will stop asking you to go shopping.


Step #1. Eat a dozen hard boiled eggs and a can of beans before leaving the house.


If you fart up the checkout line well enough you wont have to stand in line.


Step #2. As soon as you get there, go to housewares and set all the kitchen timers one minute ahead of each other.


Stand back and watch the associates go nuts. Works best if you hide them in different isles.


Step#3. Go to the health products section and put all the condoms in a separate cart, and follow your wife around loudly saying Baby, I cant wait to get you home.


Works best if she pretends she dosent know you.


Step #4. slip packs of condoms into other peoples carts.


Step #5. Put a womens thong over your head like a mask and jump out in front of people crossing the isle and yell "Stick em up" while making gun fingers and yelling Pew Pew Pew.




The wife hasnt asked me to go shopping in years.


True story.

GD is slipping, guilty or not guilty.

I have learned that all of the college chicks shop at target.

Now I shop at target too.

My wife and and I live in a nice area and yet, Walmart seems to attract the dregs.

Meanwhile, Target is MILF central - the parking lot is full of RX 350s and yoga pants.

True.  I live in a college town.



Them girls, they dress different these days.

It ain't Mayberry.
 

Relevant

The workers look a whole lot better at Target.

Woodinville?

It's horrible man.. truly horrible.  I go there about twice a year, when they have mobil1 on sale, and pick up about 10 5 quart jugs ($20 each).  It's like the seven circles of hell compressed into 38,000 square feet.  





What's worse, the sporting goods section is staffed by assholes, so even if you find a deal on ammo, good luck getting any.  I gave up, as the only deals they ever have anyway are the WWB 100 round packs, and I can get better Geco or S&B ammo cheaper online, even with factoring in shipping.  I'm just required to think ahead instead of buying ammo on range day.





 

There are people that actually work in the sporting goods section where you live?

I always have to fine some wandering scrub worker to page someone for me, and I usually give up and leave before they arrive.

Still beats Targets ammo selection

Nope. I dont go shopping with the wife unless there is a clear list that is not deviated from. She knows it makes me fucking crazy to stand there while she touches every apple, or orange, or loaf of bread, picks it up, puts it int he cart, puts it back ont he shelf etc.

Dude, the Champion 4 pack of boxer synthtic underwear for $24 is precious.