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Posted: 8/2/2015 5:19:53 AM EDT
 A married couple in Florida, Tito and Amanda Watts, were arrested a few days ago for selling "golden tickets to heaven” to hundreds of people. They sold the tickets on the street for $99.99 per ticket, told buyers the tickets were made from solid gold, and that each ticket reserved the buyer a spot in heaven — simply present the ticket at the pearly gates and you’re in. Tito Watts said in his police statement: "I don’t care what the police say. The tickets are solid gold… And it was Jesus who give them to me behind the KFC and said to sell them so I could get me some money to go to outer space. I met an alien named Stevie who said if I got the cash together he’d take me and my wife on his flying saucer to his planet that’s made entirely of drugs. You should arrest Jesus because he’s the one that gave me the golden tickets and said to sell them. I’m willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up...." Amanda Watts said in her police statement:" "We just wanted to leave earth and go to space and do drugs. I didn’t do nothing. Tito sold the golden tickets to heaven. I just watched." Police said they confiscated over $10,000 in cash, drug paraphernalia, and a baby alligator. |
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Posted: 8/2/2015 5:21:58 AM EDT
[#1]
No mention of them having kids! PRAISE THE LORD!!! (I think this story is about six months old. Either that or a new team is doing it.) |
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Posted: 8/2/2015 5:22:02 AM EDT
[#2]
Now they just need to round up the idiots who bought the tickets, and it is win win!
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Posted: 8/2/2015 5:22:26 AM EDT
[#3]
Good for them
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Posted: 8/2/2015 5:22:49 AM EDT
[#4]
You were sold a ticket to dupetown my friend.
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Posted: 8/2/2015 5:23:56 AM EDT
[#5]
If that's not a true story, and somebody made that up, they're a genius.
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Posted: 8/2/2015 5:24:27 AM EDT
[#6]
Hahaha anyone stupid enough to buy anything from those two deserves whatever they bought.
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Posted: 8/2/2015 5:48:01 AM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You were sold a ticket to dupetown my friend. |
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Posted: 8/2/2015 5:49:59 AM EDT
[#8]
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Posted: 8/2/2015 6:10:48 AM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You were sold a ticket to dupetown my friend. No shit, this is old news. |
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Posted: 8/2/2015 6:23:18 AM EDT
[#10]
How is this any different than when the Catholic Church was selling Indulgences, other than the planet made of drugs?
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Posted: 8/2/2015 7:02:13 AM EDT
[#11]
This news is older than my grandmother and is still fake.
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Posted: 8/2/2015 7:06:42 AM EDT
[#12]
Damn! They selling them again?
ETA: Really eracer? Really? 
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Posted: 8/2/2015 7:14:57 AM EDT
[#13]
First I've seen it. *shrug*
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Posted: 8/2/2015 7:21:00 AM EDT
[#14]
Kinda different. Florida! Fuck yeah!
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Posted: 8/2/2015 7:29:38 AM EDT
[#15]
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Posted: 8/2/2015 7:32:13 AM EDT
[#16]
Police said they confiscated over $10,000 in cash, drug paraphernalia, and a baby alligator. ?? |
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Posted: 8/2/2015 7:33:12 AM EDT
[#17]
Do you have any fucking idea how old this story is?
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Posted: 8/2/2015 7:40:55 AM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
No mention of them having kids! PRAISE THE LORD!!! (I think this story is about six months old. Either that or a new team is doing it.) Why the hell is it always Florida? If she has children it would have been by Immaculate Conception because there's no way in hell anyone would want to touch that person. I don't even think the guy with her would. |
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Posted: 8/2/2015 7:50:50 AM EDT
[#19]
They probably have promising careers as politicians.
I am serious. |
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Posted: 8/2/2015 7:54:58 AM EDT
[#20]
Still funny, but this has got to be the 10th thread on this.
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Posted: 8/2/2015 8:00:20 AM EDT
[#21]
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Posted: 8/2/2015 8:02:54 AM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistorySorry, if it's not in the last 30 days, it's not a dupe. |
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Posted: 8/2/2015 8:04:00 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Do you have any fucking idea how old this story is? Do you have any idea how little I care? |
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Posted: 8/2/2015 8:04:10 AM EDT
[#24]
What is this, the 40th time someone posted this FAKE news story?
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Posted: 8/2/2015 8:04:45 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: What is this, the 40th time someone posted this? I might post it again in a week. I like the number 41. |
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Posted: 8/2/2015 8:06:20 AM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I might post it again in a week. I like the number 41. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
What is this, the 40th time someone posted this? I might post it again in a week. I like the number 41. Its fake, and you fell for it. http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/goldentickets.asp I feel bad for you now. |
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Posted: 8/2/2015 8:14:45 AM EDT
[#27]
Dupe several times over.
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Posted: 8/2/2015 8:40:56 AM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Its fake, and you fell for it. http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/goldentickets.asp I feel bad for you now. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: What is this, the 40th time someone posted this? I might post it again in a week. I like the number 41. Its fake, and you fell for it. http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/goldentickets.asp I feel bad for you now. Are you saying it couldn't happen here? |
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Posted: 8/2/2015 8:43:08 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Are you saying it couldn't happen here? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
What is this, the 40th time someone posted this? I might post it again in a week. I like the number 41. Its fake, and you fell for it. http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/goldentickets.asp I feel bad for you now. Are you saying it couldn't happen here? If it was real, they would have been having a 3-way with the underage alligator at the time of arrest. |
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Posted: 8/2/2015 8:43:50 AM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Sorry, if it's not in the last 30 days, it's not a dupe. Quote HistoryQuoted: Sorry, if it's not in the last 30 days, it's not a dupe.  |
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Posted: 8/2/2015 10:10:49 AM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You were sold a ticket to dupetown my friend. Yeah from about 6 months ago... |
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Posted: 8/2/2015 10:12:24 AM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sorry, if it's not in the last 30 days, it's not a dupe. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sorry, if it's not in the last 30 days, it's not a dupe. Omg, they caught Saddam! Did you hear??? I wonder what they will do with him... |
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Posted: 8/2/2015 10:13:36 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You were sold a ticket to dupetown my friend. And a dupe of a made up story, at that. |
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Posted: 8/2/2015 10:14:18 AM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If that's not a true story, and somebody made that up, they're a genius. Somebody's a genius then, because that story is just that, a story. |
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Posted: 8/2/2015 10:22:47 AM EDT
[#35]
"...and a baby alligator."
If that doesn't seal the deal.... |
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Posted: 8/2/2015 10:24:56 AM EDT
[#36]
Better not.
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Posted: 8/2/2015 2:10:53 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted: If it was real, they would have been having a 3-way with the underage alligator at the time of arrest. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: What is this, the 40th time someone posted this? I might post it again in a week. I like the number 41. Its fake, and you fell for it. http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/goldentickets.asp I feel bad for you now. Are you saying it couldn't happen here? If it was real, they would have been having a 3-way with the underage alligator at the time of arrest. Good point... |
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