man caught having sex with a bush - Page 1

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - man caught having sex with a bush

Posted: 7/30/2015 7:10:22 AM EDT

This is what happens when you elect a bush. For sex.

A Connecticut man is suspected of getting freak-nasty with the foliage in his yard, according to the Connecticut Post. Wallace Berg, 81, was completely naked Monday in his Stratford yard when a neighbor witnessed him allegedly "humping" a bush.

When the neighbor confronted him -- as anyone would do upon seeing a strange, naked man sexing his shrubbery -- Berg reportedly “stopped the indecent behavior, covered himself with a grill cover, apologized to him and then went into the house,” police told the Connecticut Post.

The neighbor had taken some video of the bush-league behavior and gave it to cops, who charged Berg with public indecency and breach of peace. He was released after posting a $10,000 bond.

Berg didn't immediately respond to calls for comment from The Huffington Post.

Sex with inanimate objects has almost become an American pastime. HuffPost Weird News has reported on dozens of men who have taken joy rides with bicycles, or gotten raunchy with rafts and hell-bound with helicopters.

Edward Smith, of Washington state, claims to have had sex with more than 1,000 vehicles, including his favorite, the helicopter from the 1980s TV hit "Airwolf."

right here

Posted: 7/30/2015 7:12:25 AM EDT

[#1]

At least it "beats" jizzing in his pants..........

Posted: 7/30/2015 7:13:34 AM EDT

[#2]

Damn dude, at least buy a fleshlight

Posted: 7/30/2015 7:15:26 AM EDT

[#3]

Humping the landscaping in your yard is a potentially thorny situation.

Posted: 7/30/2015 7:16:21 AM EDT

[#4]

meh.........safer than fucking a metal picnic table.

Or an ATM.

Posted: 7/30/2015 7:17:14 AM EDT

[#5]

New meaning for "bushwacker"

Posted: 7/30/2015 7:20:40 AM EDT

[#6]

The man just could not resist the bush................it happens.

Posted: 7/30/2015 7:35:20 AM EDT

[#7]

right in the rosebud!

Posted: 7/30/2015 7:37:39 AM EDT

[#8]

Bush's fault

Posted: 7/30/2015 7:53:00 AM EDT

[#9]

I won't beat around the bush, that's pretty weird.

Posted: 7/30/2015 7:53:58 AM EDT

[#10]

if it was consensual what's the big deal? Was the bush underaged?

Posted: 7/30/2015 7:55:51 AM EDT

[#11]

Was it a trimmed bush?

Posted: 7/30/2015 8:08:01 AM EDT

[#12]

So I'm banging this sheep.

Someone says, have you even tried bush????

Posted: 7/30/2015 8:29:04 AM EDT

[#13]

Quote History

Quoted:
if it was consensual what's the big deal? Was the bush underaged?

View Quote

Posted: 7/30/2015 8:32:47 AM EDT

[#14]

He must have like a big hairy bush.

Posted: 7/30/2015 8:34:21 AM EDT

[#15]

Would you really turn your old neighbor in for this? For me I guess it would depend how often he was doing crazy shit, and I guess that could be traumatic to witness especially for the kids in the neighborhood. But hey, he did apologize and cover himself with the grill cover.

Posted: 7/30/2015 1:52:15 PM EDT

[#16]

Quote History

Quoted:
He must have like a big hairy bush.

View Quote

Posted: 7/30/2015 1:53:34 PM EDT

[#17]

Pics of bush?

Posted: 7/30/2015 1:54:35 PM EDT

[#18]

I hope it wasnt a holly bush

Posted: 7/30/2015 1:55:09 PM EDT

[#19]

His grandson should have explained to him that 'bush' is a slang term.

Posted: 7/30/2015 1:55:54 PM EDT

[#20]

Not Florida.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Posted: 7/30/2015 2:02:41 PM EDT

[#21]

Leaves of three, leave it be.

Posted: 7/30/2015 2:11:04 PM EDT

[#22]

After reading the thread title, I came in here expecting some 70's porn screen caps. Am disappoint.

Posted: 7/30/2015 2:12:33 PM EDT

[#23]

The bush was asking for it with the way it was nicely trimmed.

Posted: 7/30/2015 2:13:48 PM EDT

[#24]

Quote History

Quoted:
The man just could not resist the bush................it happens.

View Quote

Posted: 7/30/2015 2:25:47 PM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
This is what happens when you elect a bush. For sex.

A Connecticut man is suspected of getting freak-nasty with the foliage in his yard, according to the Connecticut Post. Wallace Berg, 81, was completely naked Monday in his Stratford yard when a neighbor witnessed him allegedly "humping" a bush.

When the neighbor confronted him -- as anyone would do upon seeing a strange, naked man sexing his shrubbery -- Berg reportedly “stopped the indecent behavior, covered himself with a grill cover, apologized to him and then went into the house,” police told the Connecticut Post.

The neighbor had taken some video of the bush-league behavior and gave it to cops, who charged Berg with public indecency and breach of peace. He was released after posting a $10,000 bond.

Berg didn't immediately respond to calls for comment from The Huffington Post.

Sex with inanimate objects has almost become an American pastime. HuffPost Weird News has reported on dozens of men who have taken joy rides with bicycles, or gotten raunchy with rafts and hell-bound with helicopters.

Edward Smith, of Washington state, claims to have had sex with more than 1,000 vehicles, including his favorite, the helicopter from the 1980s TV hit "Airwolf."

right here

View Quote

Bastard had sex with the coolest chopper of the 80s? Dammit, that was MY dream!

Posted: 7/30/2015 2:29:22 PM EDT

[#26]

Quote History

Quoted:
Leaves of three, leave it be.

View Quote

Poison Oak/Ivy Pecker is now a thing.

Posted: 7/30/2015 2:35:41 PM EDT

[#27]

See ladies? This is what happens when you shave the cooter bare. This poor man had to go above and beyond to find some bush.

Remember working on a car with your uncle, and he'd give you a hard time by saying something like "I'll bet if there was some hair around that hole, you'd find it"? If I say this to my nephews in a few years, I fear they won't get the joke.

"Alright, slide it over to the left...little more"
"How much"
"Eh..'bout a red cunt hair"
"What's a cunt hair, Uncle Subnet?"

A future generation lost.

Posted: 7/30/2015 2:45:33 PM EDT

[#28]

First gay marriage now this. Slippery slope, its a slippery slope gentleman.

Posted: 7/30/2015 2:46:44 PM EDT

[#29]

Definitely a retro-beaver fan.

Posted: 7/30/2015 2:53:33 PM EDT

[#30]

"It's just a hand in the bush"

Posted: 7/30/2015 2:55:36 PM EDT

[#31]

Edit out my original post: Shouldn't have posted in this thread.

Nothing shocks me anymore but at 81 who knows what he was thinking

Posted: 7/30/2015 2:56:16 PM EDT

[#32]

Because neither Clinton wants to have sex with a man...

Posted: 7/30/2015 2:57:12 PM EDT

[#33]

Quote History

Quoted:
See ladies? This is what happens when you shave the cooter bare. This poor man had to go above and beyond to find some bush.

Remember working on a car with your uncle, and he'd give you a hard time by saying something like "I'll bet if there was some hair around that hole, you'd find it"? If I say this to my nephews in a few years, I fear they won't get the joke.

"Alright, slide it over to the left...little more"
"How much"
"Eh..'bout a red cunt hair"
"What's a cunt hair, Uncle Subnet?"

A future generation lost.

View Quote

After much scientific study and reflection, I have discovered the exact parameter of "A cunt hair." Apparently, its the exact distance between my front teeth.

Posted: 7/30/2015 2:59:27 PM EDT

[#34]

Posted: 7/30/2015 3:00:04 PM EDT

[#35]

Quote History

Quoted:
http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/street-art-banksy-bush-3.jpg

View Quote

perfect

Posted: 7/30/2015 3:01:01 PM EDT

[#36]

Quote History

Quoted:
http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/street-art-banksy-bush-3.jpg

View Quote

That. Is. AWESOME! I'm not usually a fan of graphitti, but I'd buy that guy a beer.

Posted: 7/30/2015 3:03:19 PM EDT

[#37]

Nothing to see here Mohammad. Let's go back to my place.

Aloha, Mark

Posted: 7/30/2015 3:07:17 PM EDT

[#38]

Quote History

Quoted:
After reading the thread title, I came in here expecting some 70's porn screen caps. Am disappoint.

View Quote

First thing I thought of as well. Some of those women looked like they were trying to smuggle badgers.

Posted: 7/30/2015 3:19:54 PM EDT

[#39]

What's that old saying?

A bird in hand, is worth two sending your penis in a bush...

Posted: 7/30/2015 3:21:40 PM EDT

[#40]

If it was Sophia Bush, I don't blame him.

Posted: 7/30/2015 3:26:45 PM EDT

[#41]

DUPE but you would not know it as the other OP's title sucks and only some would get it.
http://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/1773071_CT_vying_for_the_FL_of_New_England_.html

Posted: 7/30/2015 3:28:27 PM EDT

[#42]

Quote History

Quoted:
DUPE but you would not know it as the other OP's title sucks and only some would get it.
http://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/1773071_CT_vying_for_the_FL_of_New_England_.html

View Quote

i saw a little while ago. id say mine should stay with correct title

Posted: 7/30/2015 3:29:03 PM EDT

[#43]

Edward Smith, of Washington state, claims to have had sex with more than 1,000 vehicles, including his favorite, the helicopter from the 1980s TV hit "Airwolf."

View Quote