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Posted: 7/28/2015 3:28:17 PM EDT
Well this gives Florida a run for its money
AUGUSTA, Georgia – Paramedics and police were called to Jonas Etcher’s mobile home Tuesday night after a frantic call came from his mother saying her son had sawed off his penis with an electric carving knife. “He’s really been struggling with masturbation,” Ellen Etcher told WRDW. “He knows it’s against Jesus, but has been self-pleasuring up to a dozen times a day. He can’t seem to find a girl to get his sex urges out on… we’ve tried Match.com, Craigslist.” Etcher, 52, believed he would go to hell if he didn’t stop masturbating. So he took drastic measures by cutting off what he called his “sinful part.” Doctors normally would have attempted to reattach the penis but Etcher had thrown his dismembered penis to a neighbor dog who had eaten most of it. “I had told him that maybe we could have had somebody build a metal glove with razor sharp spikes on the palm and fingers that could have been permanently padlocked to his penis and prevented him from masturbating,” Ellen said. “But he said that would have “been itchy.” So I guess he thought sawing his thing off was the better solution. I am proud of him from trying to lead a life of purity, but now he’s going to have to go on disability as he won’t be able to work at Applebee’s while he recovers.” Doctors said he will make a full recovery but will now be required to wear a catheter and urine bag. View Quote http://ploomer.com/georgia-man-cuts-off-penis-to-stop-masturbating/ ETA: Damnit it's fake knew it was too good to be true |
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[#4]
Ah religion.
I'm pretty sure it would be more of a sin to cut off your penis and not procreate at all. Just saying. |
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[#5]
Doctors normally would have attempted to reattach the penis but Etcher had thrown his dismembered penis to a neighbor dog who had eaten most of it. View Quote And now I've got that image rattling around in my head for the rest of the day. |
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[#6]
Sadly I had friends who were raised to believe that masturbating made them gay and gays would go to hell .
So I could see this happening Scary world out there. |
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[#9]
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[#10]
Quoted:
If a picture had a thousand words... http://ploomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/cutoffpenisnews-620x264.jpg View Quote That picture is as old as the internet. |
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[#11]
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[#13]
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[#14]
Quoted:
This shit has to be satire, it just has to. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Yeah, maybe. The hugely popular Sesame Street couple Bert and Ernie have long been rumored to be gay partners. They oddly lived together for decades while engaging in the subtle yet typical behavior of a gay couple. http://ploomer.com/sesame-street-to-finally-wed-bert-and-ernie/ |
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[#16]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBWEKmPYqDs
This guy has been through hell already. He was forced to eat his own beard a few years ago..... |
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[#18]
Cut off his penis for Jesus, masturbating 12 times a day. Probably didn't have a job
Bet that hurt |
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[#19]
Quoted:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBWEKmPYqDs This guy has been through hell already. He was forced to eat his own beard a few years ago..... View Quote Fuck I was hoping this was real |
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[#22]
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[#24]
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[#26]
once worked with an old ironworker, he was listening to us young guys (this was about 35 years ago) talk about women, girl friends and the rest." He kinda cleared his throat and said, " I never worry about sex anymore. Whenever I get up in the morning and feel like I absolutely have to have some I just walk over the the window and open the sash. I lay it on out on the sill and slam the window hard. Doesn't matter how horny I am that sure cures me............" Sure beats cutting it off, less permanent too.
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[#27]
Quoted:
once worked with an old ironworker, he was listening to us young guys (this was about 35 years ago) talk about women, girl friends and the rest." He kinda cleared his throat and said, " I never worry about sex anymore. Whenever I get up in the morning and feel like I absolutely have to have some I just walk over the the window and open the sash. I lay it on out on the sill and slam the window hard. Doesn't matter how horny I am that sure cures me............" Sure beats cutting it off, less permanent too. View Quote Jesus. Fucking. Christ. |
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[#29]
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[#31]
Quoted:
How do I know you didn't read the Bible? View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted:
Ah religion. I'm pretty sure it would be more of a sin to cut off your penis and not procreate at all. Just saying. How do I know you didn't read the Bible? This. True story or not, this is what it says about stumbling, but If someone can help me out I can't seem to remember masturbation being definitively named. I wouldn't classify it as fornication, specifically, and Paul saysbitis perfectly natural to have sexual urges... At the same time it is a shame if he was forced into a mindset that taught him sexuality is a sin in and of itself. |
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[#32]
Quoted:
And now I've got that image rattling around in my head for the rest of the day. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Doctors normally would have attempted to reattach the penis but Etcher had thrown his dismembered penis to a neighbor dog who had eaten most of it. And now I've got that image rattling around in my head for the rest of the day. Must have been a weineraner I'd be more afraid that dog has a taste for dick now |
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[#34]
Quoted:
If a picture had a thousand words... http://ploomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/cutoffpenisnews-620x264.jpg View Quote Confederate flag hat. |
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[#36]
Now, all of the sudden -walmartz in the area are overflowing with 22lrs!
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[#37]
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[#38]
He is lying. He was appendix carrying and blew it off. He is just to embarrassed to tell the truth
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[#41]
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[#42]
Mom sounds like Norma from Bates Motel.
Scary to think that some people actually think this way, even if this one is/prob fake. |
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[#43]
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[#44]
So Jesus didn't like him jerking off 12 times per day...
...and he couldn't find a woman on Craigslist or Match.com to relieve his sexual urges... ...so he cut off his penis with an electric carving knife... ...and threw it to the neighbor's dog, who ate it! |
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[#45]
Quoted:
ETA: Damnit it's fake knew it was too good to be true View Quote Yeah, ya shouldda figgered that out as soon as they said he was in his 50s and doing it a dozen times a day. When you're in your 50's it takes all day to do what you used to be able to do all day. |
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[#46]
Fake? Dammit. I was going to ask what he plans to cut off when he discovers the prostate massage.
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[#47]
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[#48]
Quoted:
Actually, sounds like he's following the Bible's teachings to the letter. Remember the parable about plucking out your eye if it leads you to sin. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted:
Ah religion. I'm pretty sure it would be more of a sin to cut off your penis and not procreate at all. Just saying. Actually, sounds like he's following the Bible's teachings to the letter. Remember the parable about plucking out your eye if it leads you to sin. Another thing to look into, is beating off really a sin in and of itself |
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[#49]
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