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Posted: 7/5/2015 2:56:13 PM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryIs that a naked weightlifter wearing an 1880s chimney-sweep's hat with an old-fashioned Victorian dildo photoshopped into his hand? 'Cause I think we've talked to you before about posting that stuff. |
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Posted: 7/5/2015 2:57:00 PM EDT
[#2]
Bet it wasn't as funny as the Dude with His Finger up the Cat's Ass. Not even close.
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Posted: 7/5/2015 2:57:58 PM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted: What if my buddy was shitting in the dog's yard and the dog threw an orange and killed two nuns and an orphan? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Reminds me of the time at work where we were doing something, for thi OMG! That's nearly as good as ths time my buddy threw an orange at a dog shitting on his lawn and hit him in the head. Hit who in the head? Your buddy or the dog? I think you screwed up the punchline by not being specific. If it was the dog that got hit....meh  Now the buddy got hit.....  NO, NO....even better. Let's say your buddy threw the orange and hit the dog in the head. THEN the dog got up, shook his head to clear his thoughts, and grabbed some of the fresh dog droppings and threw it at your buddy striking him in the head. Yeah now we have punched that joke up and made it more funnier. What if my buddy was shitting in the dog's yard and the dog threw an orange and killed two nuns and an orphan? hmmmmm.... you have to be careful with religious jokes. |
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Posted: 7/5/2015 2:59:14 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
hmmmmm.... you have to be careful with religious jokes. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Reminds me of the time at work where we were doing something, for thi OMG! That's nearly as good as ths time my buddy threw an orange at a dog shitting on his lawn and hit him in the head. Hit who in the head? Your buddy or the dog? I think you screwed up the punchline by not being specific. If it was the dog that got hit....meh
Now the buddy got hit.....
NO, NO....even better. Let's say your buddy threw the orange and hit the dog in the head. THEN the dog got up, shook his head to clear his thoughts, and grabbed some of the fresh dog droppings and threw it at your buddy striking him in the head. Yeah now we have punched that joke up and made it more funnier. What if my buddy was shitting in the dog's yard and the dog threw an orange and killed two nuns and an orphan? hmmmmm.... you have to be careful with religious jokes. So...two lesbians and a gay dude? |
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Posted: 7/5/2015 3:00:31 PM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
So...two lesbians and a gay dude? Quote HistoryQuoted:
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OMG! That's nearly as good as ths time my buddy threw an orange at a dog shitting on his lawn and hit him in the head. Hit who in the head? Your buddy or the dog? I think you screwed up the punchline by not being specific. If it was the dog that got hit....meh
Now the buddy got hit.....
NO, NO....even better. Let's say your buddy threw the orange and hit the dog in the head. THEN the dog got up, shook his head to clear his thoughts, and grabbed some of the fresh dog droppings and threw it at your buddy striking him in the head. Yeah now we have punched that joke up and made it more funnier. What if my buddy was shitting in the dog's yard and the dog threw an orange and killed two nuns and an orphan? hmmmmm.... you have to be careful with religious jokes. So...two lesbians and a gay dude? Still a religious joke. |
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Posted: 7/5/2015 3:06:03 PM EDT
[#6]
Quoted:
I can't tell you anything about it, but man was it funny. The story would have really rustled the jimmies of several certain subsets of GD too. It was hilarious. LOL. Man, I can't stop laughing about it. The story had everything. F-U-N-N-Y. OP, that is such a good story. I really can't pick "one part" that I liked the best. But if you were to hold a gun to my head, I would go with the part with the pictures. I just got off the phone with an armored truck company. They will be arriving in the morning to pick up my back up disk, which I just saved your story on to. There probably won't be much traffic, because I forwarded the police your story, and they agreed to escort the armored truck to its destination. At first the police chief didn't want to help, but then I guided his attention to the incredible pictures that you embedded along with your story. I mean, the story was good enough. But as soon as I saw the pictures that went along with it, I called my grandmother, who is blind and has Alzheimer’s disease to tell her. As far as her doctors in the nursing home are concerned, she is cured of all her ailments now that she heard your cool story. She is actually preparing to run the Boston marathon this year now. Thank you, OP. 
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Posted: 7/5/2015 3:07:07 PM EDT
[#7]
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Posted: 7/5/2015 3:08:36 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
OP, that is such a good story. I really can't pick "one part" that I liked the best. But if you were to hold a gun to my head, I would go with the part with the pictures. I just got off the phone with an armored truck company. They will be arriving in the morning to pick up my back up disk, which I just saved your story on to. There probably won't be much traffic, because I forwarded the police your story, and they agreed to escort the armored truck to its destination. At first the police chief didn't want to help, but then I guided his attention to the incredible pictures that you embedded along with your story. I mean, the story was good enough. But as soon as I saw the pictures that went along with it, I called my grandmother, who is blind and has Alzheimer’s disease to tell her. As far as her doctors in the nursing home are concerned, she is cured of all her ailments now that she heard your cool story. She is actually preparing to run the Boston marathon this year now. Thank you, OP. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I can't tell you anything about it, but man was it funny. The story would have really rustled the jimmies of several certain subsets of GD too. It was hilarious. LOL. Man, I can't stop laughing about it. The story had everything. F-U-N-N-Y. OP, that is such a good story. I really can't pick "one part" that I liked the best. But if you were to hold a gun to my head, I would go with the part with the pictures. I just got off the phone with an armored truck company. They will be arriving in the morning to pick up my back up disk, which I just saved your story on to. There probably won't be much traffic, because I forwarded the police your story, and they agreed to escort the armored truck to its destination. At first the police chief didn't want to help, but then I guided his attention to the incredible pictures that you embedded along with your story. I mean, the story was good enough. But as soon as I saw the pictures that went along with it, I called my grandmother, who is blind and has Alzheimer’s disease to tell her. As far as her doctors in the nursing home are concerned, she is cured of all her ailments now that she heard your cool story. She is actually preparing to run the Boston marathon this year now. Thank you, OP. 1.) NEVER invite the man into your life. 2.) My grandmother died running the Boston Marathon. Thanks for bringing it up bud. |
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Posted: 7/5/2015 3:09:35 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryThere really is a story. I'll tell you next time we have a beer at the BBQ Compound. |
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Posted: 7/5/2015 3:20:01 PM EDT
[#10]
Cool story broooo
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Posted: 7/5/2015 5:37:48 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Bet it wasn't as funny as the Dude with His Finger up the Cat's Ass. Not even close. The guy's name is Dude with His Finger up the Cat's Ass ? |
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Posted: 7/5/2015 10:50:15 PM EDT
[#12]
Man... the poll results suggest that 100% of Arfcommers enjoyed this thread. Good work OP.
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Posted: 7/5/2015 11:00:22 PM EDT
[#13]
I knew motherfucker fuck would come through on top
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Posted: 7/5/2015 11:11:09 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I knew motherfucker fuck would come through on top Yeah, that was a strong contender. Very strong. |
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Posted: 7/5/2015 11:13:23 PM EDT
[#15]
This thread made me smirk. Good work OP.
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Posted: 7/5/2015 11:14:32 PM EDT
[#16]
This is worse than a safe thread.... with nothing inside.
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Posted: 7/5/2015 11:24:17 PM EDT
[#17]
I don't know which part was the Funniest. . . Seriously, I don't.
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Posted: 7/5/2015 11:25:43 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
This is worse than a safe thread.... with nothing inside. Try this one. Its savory and its got zing. Thing for CLICK |
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Posted: 7/5/2015 11:32:52 PM EDT
[#19]
poll fail! No option for dildos, which this thread is.
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Posted: 7/5/2015 11:38:11 PM EDT
[#20]
I laughed |
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Posted: 7/6/2015 12:08:08 AM EDT
[#21]
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Posted: 7/6/2015 2:06:22 AM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryThat is just really rude. Retards are very special people. |
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Posted: 7/6/2015 2:19:21 AM EDT
[#23]
Holy shit! I don't believe it.
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Posted: 7/6/2015 2:23:47 AM EDT
[#24]
Op IM'd me and all I have to say is I wish I could tell you all.
That was something else. I haven't laughed that long in ages. I couldn't breath I was laughing so damn hard. You weren't fucking kidding. It had EVERYTHING. GD stereotypes. EVERYTHING. Fucking hilarious. Too bad due to the circumstances you can't tell people on here. You are right that would have seriously rustled some jimmies and probably have gotten you banned. I award you one internet for sharing that with me. |
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Posted: 7/6/2015 2:30:36 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Its not a waste bro. You are little closer to achieving karmic balance now. Check your chakras and you'll see. Also, I like your use of emoticons. Made me feel like your response was in I-Max 3D. It was that good. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Positively riveting, 
On the edge of your seat hillarious.
A real fucking knee slapper.
Whats a couple more minutes of my life wasted on a stupid thread like this?  Its not a waste bro. You are little closer to achieving karmic balance now. Check your chakras and you'll see. Also, I like your use of emoticons. Made me feel like your response was in I-Max 3D. It was that good. Isn't a chakra the thing that Xena Warrior Princess always was throwing all over the place?
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Posted: 7/6/2015 2:35:47 AM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Isn't a chakra the thing that Xena Warrior Princess always was throwing all over the place? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Positively riveting, On the edge of your seat hillarious. A real fucking knee slapper. Whats a couple more minutes of my life wasted on a stupid thread like this? Its not a waste bro. You are little closer to achieving karmic balance now. Check your chakras and you'll see. Also, I like your use of emoticons. Made me feel like your response was in I-Max 3D. It was that good. Isn't a chakra the thing that Xena Warrior Princess always was throwing all over the place? |
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Posted: 7/6/2015 2:49:45 AM EDT
[#27]
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Posted: 7/6/2015 3:50:53 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryI'm sorry Justa_TXguy, you have, to my knowledge, never started a cool thread. But don't be sad, 'cuz you are posting in a cool thread! 
So.... Maybe a thank you is in order? BTW, last time I was in Texas I almost got into a car accident with a uncontrolled horse being chased by a HS girl outside a church and there were no good gunstores and TSA had an angry lesbian. Plus toll roads. Your state has some problems. |
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Posted: 7/6/2015 3:52:54 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Me thinks your lying and trying create a safe like thread. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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It had everything. EVERYTHING. I IM'd one random user and told him the story. He said he laughed so hard it changed his life and now he can die at peace when his time comes. Me thinks your lying and trying create a safe like thread. Me thinks what you thinks is what we're all thinkin. |
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Posted: 7/6/2015 4:02:10 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Me thinks what you thinks is what we're all thinkin. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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It had everything. EVERYTHING. I IM'd one random user and told him the story. He said he laughed so hard it changed his life and now he can die at peace when his time comes. Me thinks your lying and trying create a safe like thread. Me thinks what you thinks is what we're all thinkin. Nope. There really is a story and I really can't tell you. But it is fucking funny. Plus, I offered up a complete safe thread, in this thread, if you are a fan of safe threads. Check the links.  Voted BEST SAFE THREAD EVER by the American Council of Pediatric Ophthalmologists.
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Posted: 7/6/2015 4:04:19 PM EDT
[#31]
I voted for every option.
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Posted: 7/6/2015 4:08:58 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Is that a naked weightlifter wearing an 1880s chimney-sweep's hat with an old-fashioned Victorian dildo photoshopped into his hand? 'Cause I think we've talked to you before about posting that stuff. Quote HistoryQuoted: Is that a naked weightlifter wearing an 1880s chimney-sweep's hat with an old-fashioned Victorian dildo photoshopped into his hand? 'Cause I think we've talked to you before about posting that stuff.  |
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Posted: 7/6/2015 4:14:07 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I voted for every option. That's what she said! |
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Posted: 7/6/2015 4:23:58 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I hear ya bro. I've been there too. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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I can't tell you anything about it, but man was it funny. The story would have really rustled the jimmies of several certain subsets of GD too. It was hilarious. LOL. Man, I can't stop laughing about it. The story had everything. F-U-N-N-Y. I hear ya bro. I've been there too. This right here. Gold. |
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Posted: 7/6/2015 4:36:14 PM EDT
[#35]
I voted Dawg.
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Posted: 7/7/2015 12:18:53 AM EDT
[#36]
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Posted: 7/7/2015 12:25:34 AM EDT
[#37]
I agree.
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