I searched pretty hard, and I couldn't find any Mad Max reviews on Arfcom, so I figured I better step up and get the job done.

So...

First Goddamn thing:  I didn't see one goddamn Furry in the whole fucking thing.  Not one fucking Furry.  Not even a Brony.  I paid good money (two $15 tickets and a couple of $6 drinks...  fuck me) to see Mel Gibson as Max Rockatansky roaming around the post-apocalyptic wasteland fucking up some goddamned Comic-Con Cos-play motherfuckers dressed up like Sonic the Hedgehog or some such shit. Not one anthropomorphic motherfucker in the whole goddamn thing.   All I saw was a bunch of paint-huffing albino tweakers on dirt bikes and old trucks, fucking thing should've been called Mad Max: West Virginia Road .Furry Road my ass.  STRIKE ONE.

Secondly, and I already alluded to this, mad motherfucking Max Rockatansky is played by MEL MOTHERFUCKING GIBSON.  No other motherfuckers need apply.  That candy-ass meat-head motherfucker calling himself Max didn't have no stoic genius for shit and he let the last of the V-8 Interceptors get fucked up straight out the gate.  Fuck you guy that isn't Mel Gibson. When Mel isn't playing Max he plays Jesus.  JESUS.  That's STRIKE TWO.

Third fucking thing:  Did you see not-Max almost try to kiss that skinny man-haired one-armed crippled chick?  I fucking saw it.  Brought up a little bile in my throat.  Okay.  You also got the one albino-Appalachian kid with the boils that can't get hisself killed that is following around the one run away chick like a goddamn puppy dog on a string.  Like she changed his whole paint-huffing trailer-park demeanor with her powerful girlish gaze.  I had to reach into my pocket and pull out the ticket stubs to see if it said "Mad Max" or motherfucking Bridges of Madison County Part 2. Hey Max, "You've got mail."  That is STRIKE fucking THREE.

Okay--  Part Four:  What the fuck?  What is the deal with the chicks?  These bitches are all wrapped up in gauze.  Did they just bust out of the fucking burn ward?  Did Toe Cutter have some kind of band-aid fetish? I don't get it.  Couldn't ol' one-armed Lara Croft steal those bitches some clothes before she hauled their dumb barefoot asses out into the desert?  Once again, I don't get it.  Also, and I know this from experience, if you try to smuggle some chicks in an empty fuel tanker, THEY WILL DIE!  Then you got troubles.  Anyway...  Okay, another chick thing--  some of the dumb chicks were pretty hot, and not too bright.  What does Max do? Does he bang those whores?  Fuck no, he gets all googly-eyed about that one-armed shave-headed action figure girl. STRIKE FOUR. You don't get four strikes, even in Union Baseball.

So...  Five:  FAT BITCHES attached to milking machines?  Oh Fuck You George Miller, not even a warning.  Nobody wants to see that shit.  Nasty.  Also, what the fuck is with these dried up old broads on dirt bikes.  I can suspend the fuck out of some disbelief, but those old broads would have been roasted on a spit over a fire by Bubba Zannetti years before.  Bag of seeds?  Oh bull-fucking-shit, would've been Bubba's side dish.  STRIKE FIVE.

Six:  Bullet Farm my motherfucking ass.  I can't even get .22 ammo on the regular and those hillbilly tweaker cult-a-zoid motherfuckers can get all dirt-shooter and do mag dumps in the post-apocalypse?  Looked like the Kentucky Home Town Forum having a shoot.  I don't buy it.  STRIKE SIX.

That right there is two fucking batters struck out.  AND I GOT MORE. (Why didn't that guitar dude play some Flotsam'n'Jetsam or Motorhead?)  I'll stop out of kindness.

You might think I didn't like this movie, but you'd be wrong.

I give it EIGHT MOTHER FUCKERS.  Ten is perfect.

MOTHER FUCKERS
MOTHER FUCKERS
MOTHER FUCKERS
MOTHER FUCKERS
MOTHER FUCKERS
MOTHER FUCKERS
MOTHER FUCKERS
MOTHER FUCKERS
MOTHER FUCKERS
MOTHER FUCKERS

That's a good score.

Will watch

there have been many, many threads on this already. Your search must be broken...

http://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/1750527_Mad_Max_did_not_disappoint.html
http://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/1750534_WOW___Mad_Max___Fury_Road.html
http://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/1749474_Mad_Max__FEMINIST_ROAD_or_Mad_Max__ALONG_FOR_THE_RIDE_____update_pg_2.html
http://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/1748929_Mad_Max____No_thread_yet___EDIT__LET_THIS_BE_THE_THREAD_.html
http://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/1748879_Just_got_back_from_seeing_Mad_Max.html
http://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/1748790_Anybody_see_the_new_Mad_Max_movie_yet_.html

edit - piss.... didn't hot link.... but you get the idea

You spelled fury wrong.

No he didn't. Read the OP.

Inb4 furries

lol... you gonna buy the bluray??

Furries acting out Mad Max?  Hmmm...

10/10

Bravo, man.  Bravo.

Best rant ever.

Que?

Yeah, probably.  I gave it 8/10 motherfuckers.

Closest thing to furries was burn ward meth-santa playing the flaming guitar. I liked it though.

That is disturbing.

Yeah I could have done without the milking machine bit and the chicks wrapped up in gauze was cranking the absurdity a little too far.

Also, no Motörhead!? Definetely loses a point for that.

As for the bullet farmer, he has somehow figured out how to farm fucking bullets! Of course he has an unlimited supply. Definetely a fun charecter.

As for the lack of furries. I can't help but think that they might have considered it but whenever they dressed up any if the stuntmen in the suits they all passed out from heatstroke. As it is I wonder how they made this movie without creating a series of mass graves of stuntmen across the desert.

The best part about the milk machine ladies is that to do that they needed to be getting pregnant on a regular basis. (in order to keep it going like that)  I wonder whose's job that was considering boss many had his own harem which likely didn't include fat chicks.

Maybe they had a vet do it, like on a real dairy farm?

(A real vet, LOL)

No he's just an attention whore who plays at being "edgy"

This is making me want to watch the movie even more.

Strach that, I'm only watching it if it has Fox McCloud as a cameo.

If I was an attention whore, I'd get paid for it.  I'm more of an attention slut.  

Now that we've covered that, remind me of who you are?  I don't remember you having posted before.

FIFY.

NERD.



Oh shit....I'm a nerd too for getting the reference!

Burn!

Krystal is going to be in it?!
*unzips pants*

 

10/10

Awesome

I'm at work trying to not die from holding my laughter in just reading the first point.  Holy fuck FH, well done.

Eh do a review of sanfrandreas this weekend..but wait till I watch it first..

Yes. Bravo, good sir. Bravo.

 
That would get me to go see the movie.

Can someone please explain the guy with the guitar to me?

I have seen the trailers, and that stupid looking shit is what is keeping me from seeing this movie.
(That and the Pimp My Ride inspired vehicles... "Yo dog...We put a car on your car, on your truck").

I want this movie to be good... But the trailers just make it look stupid to me.



OH...and CHARLIZE FUCKING THERON???!!!....REALLY??!!

The movie is fucking awesome.  Who cares why there is a dude with a guitar on bungee cords....the vehicle is a rolling concert with drummers on the back.  Its the best action movie made in a VERY long time.

i want to see it, but not in a theatre. will probably just buy the blu-ray

It wont be remotely the same on a tv screen.  The explosions of this movie deserve a theater. Go see it in 3D, live alittle.

hmmm...maybe i will than..i do have a pretty decent sound system with a sub though..

as for 3d, not sure about that....i get car sick playing video games....afraid the 3d effects might trigger that.

I laughed hardest at this post.

You need the guy with the guitar to get to Valhalla. Riding forever with no tunes would suck and be neither shiny nor chrome.

Pure gold.

You had me at "Furry Road".