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Posted: 4/26/2015 9:40:17 PM EDT
[#1]
Page 2 asks how do you get a one armed Pole out of a tree?
Wave at him. |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 9:44:37 PM EDT
[#2]
I went to a Polish Catholic high school in the Detroit area. Note: I am not Polish. Polack jokes were normal. Even the nuns cracked Polack jokes. The one I remember:
Why couldn't the Poles make Kool-Aid? They couldn't figure out how to get water into the little packet. 
When using a protractor in geometry class, our teacher (100% Polish) told us to not use it the Polack way - aka turning the paper instead of turning the protractor.
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Posted: 4/26/2015 9:45:00 PM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Serious question: How did Polish people get the reputation for being stupid?  |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 9:47:07 PM EDT
[#4]
The food is awesome.
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Posted: 4/26/2015 9:52:59 PM EDT
[#5]
I've spent quite a bit of time in Poland. They don't mind for the most part,manf have some good jokes themselves.
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Posted: 4/26/2015 9:57:18 PM EDT
[#6]
So hammermill and ar-jedi are out walking in the pasture.
Hammermill is admiring ar-jedi’s sheep. He notices one of them is stuck in a fence, and expresses concern to ar-jedi over the struggling creature. Ar-jedi responds that it is no problem, that it happens all the time, and he has a proven method to deal with it. Much to hammermills surprise, ar-jedi walks over and fucks the living hell out of that sheep while it is caught in the fence. Ar-jedi saunters back over to his friend hammermill and remarks that it was quite refreshing, and that hammermill should try it. So hammermill decides to give it a shot. He walks over to the fence, bends over, sticks his head through and says “baaa baaaaa”
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Posted: 4/26/2015 9:58:29 PM EDT
[#7]
Because they aren't whiny little bitches?
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Posted: 4/26/2015 10:01:20 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Same way Texans did! 
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Serious question: How did Polish people get the reputation for being stupid?
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Posted: 4/26/2015 10:15:14 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
So hammermill and ar-jedi are out walking in the pasture. Hammermill is admiring ar-jedi’s sheep. He notices one of them is stuck in a fence, and expresses concern to ar-jedi over the struggling creature. Ar-jedi responds that it is no problem, that it happens all the time, and he has a proven method to deal with it. Much to hammermills surprise, ar-jedi walks over and fucks the living hell out of that sheep while it is caught in the fence. Ar-jedi saunters back over to his friend hammermill and remarks that it was quite refreshing, and that hammermill should try it. So hammermill decides to give it a shot. He walks over to the fence, bends over, sticks his head through and says “baaa baaaaa” OMG..... 
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Posted: 4/26/2015 10:19:20 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted: This. I have NEVER been offended by the jokes, and really don't care if others are offended when I tell jokes about them. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Because we don't care and the jokes are funny. I have NEVER been offended by the jokes, and really don't care if others are offended when I tell jokes about them. This |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 10:20:19 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted: OMG..... Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: So hammermill and ar-jedi are out walking in the pasture. Hammermill is admiring ar-jedi’s sheep. He notices one of them is stuck in a fence, and expresses concern to ar-jedi over the struggling creature. Ar-jedi responds that it is no problem, that it happens all the time, and he has a proven method to deal with it. Much to hammermills surprise, ar-jedi walks over and fucks the living hell out of that sheep while it is caught in the fence. Ar-jedi saunters back over to his friend hammermill and remarks that it was quite refreshing, and that hammermill should try it. So hammermill decides to give it a shot. He walks over to the fence, bends over, sticks his head through and says "baaa baaaaa” OMG..... ... |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 10:22:59 PM EDT
[#12]
How did the East Germans invade Poland?
They walked in backwards and said they were leaving. |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 10:24:31 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
How can you tell the bride in a Polish wedding? She's wearing the clean bowling shirt. No....she's the one with the braided armpits... |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 10:27:06 PM EDT
[#14]
First to say IBTL?
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Posted: 4/26/2015 10:33:50 PM EDT
[#15]
I wish Poland was on our southern border.
I grew up with a kid whose father was a Polish immigrant whose parents had to flee communism. He was probably the smartest guy I ever knew. He cashed in on it too--he was a master machinist with his own business who made good $. Polish jokes are dumb and people who make them should feel dumb. |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 11:06:53 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
So hammermill and ar-jedi are out walking in the pasture. Hammermill is admiring ar-jedi’s sheep. He notices one of them is stuck in a fence, and expresses concern to ar-jedi over the struggling creature. Ar-jedi responds that it is no problem, that it happens all the time, and he has a proven method to deal with it. Much to hammermills surprise, ar-jedi walks over and fucks the living hell out of that sheep while it is caught in the fence. Ar-jedi saunters back over to his friend hammermill and remarks that it was quite refreshing, and that hammermill should try it. So hammermill decides to give it a shot. He walks over to the fence, bends over, sticks his head through and says “baaa baaaaa” 
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Posted: 4/26/2015 11:11:50 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Hammermill is admiring ar-jedi’s sheep. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Hammermill is admiring ar-jedi’s sheep. ps https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nyquist_stability_criterion In control theory and stability theory, the Nyquist stability criterion, discovered by Swedish-American electrical engineer Harry Nyquist at Bell Telephone Laboratories in 1932,[1] is a graphical technique for determining the stability of a dynamical system. Because it only looks at the Nyquist plot of the open loop systems, it can be applied without explicitly computing the poles and zeros of either the closed-loop or open-loop system (although the number of each type of right-half-plane singularities must be known). As a result, it can be applied to systems defined by non-rational functions, such as systems with delays. In contrast to Bode plots, it can handle transfer functions with right half-plane singularities. In addition, there is a natural generalization to more complex systems with multiple inputs and multiple outputs, such as control systems for airplanes. The Nyquist criterion is widely used in electronics and control system engineering, as well as other fields, for designing and analyzing systems with feedback. While Nyquist is one of the most general stability tests, it is still restricted to linear, time-invariant (LTI) systems. Non-linear systems must use more complex stability criteria, such as Lyapunov or the circle criterion. While Nyquist is a graphical technique, it only provides a limited amount of intuition for why a system is stable or unstable, or how to modify an unstable system to be stable. Techniques like Bode plots, while less general, are sometimes a more useful design tool. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nyquist_stability_criterion#The_Nyquist_criterion The Nyquist criterion We first construct the Nyquist contour, a contour that encompasses the right-half of the complex plane: a path traveling up the j\omega axis, from 0 - j\infty to 0 + j\infty. a semicircular arc, with radius r \to \infty, that starts at 0 + j\infty and travels clock-wise to 0 - j\infty. The Nyquist contour mapped through the function 1+G(s) yields a plot of 1+G(s) in the complex plane. By the Argument Principle, the number of clock-wise encirclements of the origin must be the number of zeros of 1+G(s) in the right-half complex plane minus the poles of 1+G(s) in the right-half complex plane. If instead, the contour is mapped through the open-loop transfer function G(s), the result is the Nyquist Plot of G(s). By counting the resulting contour's encirclements of -1, we find the difference between the number of poles and zeros in the right-half complex plane of 1+G(s). Recalling that the zeros of 1+G(s) are the poles of the closed-loop system, and noting that the poles of 1+G(s) are same as the poles of G(s), we now state The Nyquist Criterion: Given a Nyquist contour \Gamma_s, let P be the number of poles of G(s) encircled by \Gamma_s, and Z be the number of zeros of 1+G(s) encircled by \Gamma_s. Alternatively, and more importantly, Z is the number of poles of the closed loop system in the right half plane. The resultant contour in the G(s)-plane, \Gamma_{G(s)} shall encircle (clock-wise) the point (-1+j0) N times such that N = Z - P. If the system is originally open-loop unstable, feedback is necessary to stabilize the system. Right-half-plane (RHP) poles represent that instability. For closed-loop stability of a system, the number of closed-loop roots in the right half of the s-plane must be zero. Hence, the number of counter-clockwise encirclements about -1+j0 must be equal to the number of open-loop poles in the RHP. Any clockwise encirclements of the critical point by the open-loop frequency response (when judged from low frequency to high frequency) would indicate that the feedback control system would be destabilizing if the loop were closed. (Using RHP zeros to "cancel out" RHP poles does not remove the instability, but rather ensures that the system will remain unstable even in the presence of feedback signal, since the closed-loop roots travel between open-loop poles and zeros in the presence of feedback. In fact, the RHP zero can make the unstable pole unobservable and therefore not stabilizable through feedback.) |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 11:28:56 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Nazi propaganda circulated Polish jokes before and during WWII. Bigoted jokes are a simple way to dehumanize a people. Same premise as the "Black" jokes that were prevalent in the time and region where I grew up. |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 11:33:27 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Thank you Mr. Serious - 
Now, as a person of Polish descent: How do you get a Polak out of a tree? Shoot him! Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Nazi propaganda circulated Polish jokes before and during WWII. Bigoted jokes are a simple way to dehumanize a people. Same premise as the "Black" jokes that were prevalent in the time and region where I grew up.
Now, as a person of Polish descent: How do you get a Polak out of a tree? Shoot him! Are you sure you aren't German or Russian? 
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Posted: 4/26/2015 11:36:50 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
That's what I came here to say. Except for the last part. That wasn't prevalent when I grew up. I like to have not funny Polish jokes that are actually real: Did you guy hear about the Polish female scientist? She discovered radioactivity and was the only person to earn two Nobel Prizes in separate sciences! Hhahahahaa What about the Polish astronomer? He formulated the model of a heliocentric solar system. WHAT A DUMBASS! Hahahaha Hey, did you hear about the Polish virologist? He's so stupid he cured polio! So these three Polish mathematicians walk into a building in the 1930s... and the first one says to the other two, "Hey, I think we just deciphered the German enigma machine." Get it? (Yes, my last name has a lot of odd letters in it )Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Nazi propaganda circulated Polish jokes before and during WWII. Bigoted jokes are a simple way to dehumanize a people. Same premise as the "Black" jokes that were prevalent in the time and region where I grew up. That's what I came here to say. Except for the last part. That wasn't prevalent when I grew up. I like to have not funny Polish jokes that are actually real: Did you guy hear about the Polish female scientist? She discovered radioactivity and was the only person to earn two Nobel Prizes in separate sciences! Hhahahahaa What about the Polish astronomer? He formulated the model of a heliocentric solar system. WHAT A DUMBASS! Hahahaha Hey, did you hear about the Polish virologist? He's so stupid he cured polio! So these three Polish mathematicians walk into a building in the 1930s... and the first one says to the other two, "Hey, I think we just deciphered the German enigma machine." Get it? (Yes, my last name has a lot of odd letters in it )It was the Welsh that stole all your vowels. |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 11:38:10 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It was the Welsh that stole all your vowels. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Nazi propaganda circulated Polish jokes before and during WWII. Bigoted jokes are a simple way to dehumanize a people. Same premise as the "Black" jokes that were prevalent in the time and region where I grew up. That's what I came here to say. Except for the last part. That wasn't prevalent when I grew up. I like to have not funny Polish jokes that are actually real: Did you guy hear about the Polish female scientist? She discovered radioactivity and was the only person to earn two Nobel Prizes in separate sciences! Hhahahahaa What about the Polish astronomer? He formulated the model of a heliocentric solar system. WHAT A DUMBASS! Hahahaha Hey, did you hear about the Polish virologist? He's so stupid he cured polio! So these three Polish mathematicians walk into a building in the 1930s... and the first one says to the other two, "Hey, I think we just deciphered the German enigma machine." Get it? (Yes, my last name has a lot of odd letters in it )It was the Welsh that stole all your vowels. 
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Posted: 4/26/2015 11:51:33 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Best one I ever heard was told to me by a Polish guy at a dive bar in Nola at 4am.... How do you know you've had a Polish guy at your house party? When you wake up your dog is pregnant and the garbage is missing. The best / worst Jewish jokes I have heard were from someone I will call Fishner, because that was his name. He was one of our medics that took care of some warts I had on my fingers next to my nails which was painful. (liquid N2) He also kept a Kosher kitchen in his barracks room. (and got separate rations) At the time, the rumor was that it was easier to get into Ranger school as a medic than as infantry. Half the medics really wanted to be Rangers. I am pretty sure he was one of them. My favorite factor that we have is in Poland. Same quality as Schweinfurt, but less cost and attitude. |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 11:56:12 PM EDT
[#23]
. . . .
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Posted: 4/27/2015 12:08:56 AM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I think every country has their version or country of choice to make similar jokes. No idea how poland dominated that market for us. This^. I believe that the Finns fill that role for the Scandinavians. The Swede asked the Finn: "Why are you hitting yourself in the head with a hammer?" The Finn replied: "Because it feels so good when I stop."
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Posted: 4/27/2015 12:08:58 AM EDT
[#25]
No different than Ole and Lena jokes.
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Posted: 4/27/2015 12:27:35 AM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
No different than Ole and Lena jokes. You live close to Minnesota don't you. |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 12:30:16 AM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You live close to Minnesota don't you. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
No different than Ole and Lena jokes. You live close to Minnesota don't you. I am one Or was.
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Posted: 4/27/2015 12:40:45 AM EDT
[#28]
Am I in before the Pole?
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Posted: 4/27/2015 2:07:58 AM EDT
[#29]
I had a Polish friend. For his birthday, I gift-wrapped a head of cabbage, an onion, a kielbasa, and some pierogi. He seemed to enjoy it.
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Posted: 4/27/2015 2:56:57 AM EDT
[#30]
I have a Polish neighbor.
Last winter I had to clear his driveway because his snow blower was buried in the back of his garage behind all the construction materials for his home renovation. He had his lawn tractor right up front & ready to drive out though... |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 3:11:30 AM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Serious question: How did Polish people get the reputation for being stupid? Asked my FIL the same question and he answered "we did ride horses against the German tanks". Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 6:56:22 AM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I had a Polish friend. For his birthday, I gift-wrapped a head of cabbage, an onion, a kielbasa, and some pierogi. He seemed to enjoy it. Did he ever unwrap the present? |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 7:01:48 AM EDT
[#33]
Produced some damn fine mathematicians over the years.
RPL is still used today, and it was not a shot at the Polish, but from the inventor. |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 7:23:32 AM EDT
[#34]
Because they don't flip out, rape, loot, and burn?
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Posted: 4/27/2015 7:39:52 AM EDT
[#35]
No Nicolaus Capernicus jokes yet?
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Posted: 4/27/2015 8:19:32 AM EDT
[#36]
Cleveland, Ohio had fifty years worth of TV programming devoted to "certain ethnic group" jokes.
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Posted: 4/27/2015 8:34:56 AM EDT
[#37]
Theirs only two kinds of people. Polacks and those that wish they were one. They cant stop talking about us.---- SKI
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Posted: 4/27/2015 8:42:55 AM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Nazi propaganda circulated Polish jokes before and during WWII. Bigoted jokes are a simple way to dehumanize a people. Same premise as the "Black" jokes that were prevalent in the time and region where I grew up. Yup. When I was little I told a Polish joke I had heard at a family Christmas gathering. Didn't know my grandmother's family was Polish, just something I was unaware of. Prior to the Nazi propoganda, Poland was known for having the best educatuion system in Europe. That's why the Nazis targeted their education/intelligence. So I was told. |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 8:55:55 AM EDT
[#39]
Why don't they have ice cubes at Polish weddings anymore?
The old lady with the recipe died. |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 9:11:37 AM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yup. When I was little I told a Polish joke I had heard at a family Christmas gathering. Didn't know my grandmother's family was Polish, just something I was unaware of. Prior to the Nazi propoganda, Poland was known for having the best educatuion system in Europe. That's why the Nazis targeted their education/intelligence. So I was told. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Nazi propaganda circulated Polish jokes before and during WWII. Bigoted jokes are a simple way to dehumanize a people. Same premise as the "Black" jokes that were prevalent in the time and region where I grew up. Yup. When I was little I told a Polish joke I had heard at a family Christmas gathering. Didn't know my grandmother's family was Polish, just something I was unaware of. Prior to the Nazi propoganda, Poland was known for having the best educatuion system in Europe. That's why the Nazis targeted their education/intelligence. So I was told. They were also very good in agriculture. 60 percent of the country in use for farming. It exports alot of food and grains. jb |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 9:36:27 AM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted: This^. I believe that the Finns fill that role for the Scandinavians. The Swede asked the Finn: "Why are you hitting yourself in the head with a hammer?" The Finn replied: "Because it feels so good when I stop." Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I think every country has their version or country of choice to make similar jokes. No idea how poland dominated that market for us. This^. I believe that the Finns fill that role for the Scandinavians. The Swede asked the Finn: "Why are you hitting yourself in the head with a hammer?" The Finn replied: "Because it feels so good when I stop." Oddly enough, despite there being a good number of Poles in Texas, I had never heard of a Polish joke growing up. We had Aggie jokes instead. |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 9:42:49 AM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
We were some of the last off of the boat, so there was a pecking order of immigrants. We were lesser than the Irish, and somewhere above the miscellaneous immigrants from S. Europe. The Jews ruled/owned the ghettos with the Italians and both were the first to really create brutal organized crime. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Serious question: How did Polish people get the reputation for being stupid? We were some of the last off of the boat, so there was a pecking order of immigrants. We were lesser than the Irish, and somewhere above the miscellaneous immigrants from S. Europe. The Jews ruled/owned the ghettos with the Italians and both were the first to really create brutal organized crime. And we Germans started coming over before the United States existed. |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 9:45:16 AM EDT
[#43]
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Posted: 4/27/2015 9:52:30 AM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I've spent quite a bit of time in Poland. They don't mind for the most part,manf have some good jokes themselves. I've never been over there, but from what I've heard and judging by people I know that are of Polish descent, they're generally good hearted people, and are as intelligent as any other nationality. Plus they're a damn good ally. And what you said here about them having some of their own Polack jokes speaks volumes about them. Good people. |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 10:05:32 AM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Nazi propaganda circulated Polish jokes before and during WWII. Bigoted jokes are a simple way to dehumanize a people. Same premise as the "Black" jokes that were prevalent in the time and region where I grew up. That explanation is built upon the assumption that Germans have a sense of humor, which we all know is not true. |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 10:23:46 AM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Cleveland, Ohio had fifty years worth of TV programming devoted to "certain ethnic group" jokes. And so many of them are hilarious. Oh, and then there was the one that got Reagan in trouble: How can you tell a Polack at a cock-fight? |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 10:24:24 AM EDT
[#47]
Polish chicks are hot. That is all.
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Posted: 4/27/2015 10:25:28 AM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
The food is awesome. SHIT, YEAHHHHHHHHH!!  I eat Pierogies probably every other week. Polish sausage? You betcha!
i view Polack jokes much like Blonde jokes. You'd have to be a particularly over-sensitive cad to actually be offended by them. ETA: I'm lucky enough to be near Hamtramk, MI which is pretty much little Poland. Can you say TASTY!!!!! |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 12:15:36 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I had a Polish friend. For his birthday, I gift-wrapped a head of cabbage, an onion, a kielbasa, and some pierogi. He seemed to enjoy it. That's almost everything a growing boy needs. As someone with a couple Z's and an -ak ending to my name I would be damn happy get that for my birthday. 
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Posted: 4/27/2015 12:24:40 PM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Polish chicks are hot. That is all. This bears repeating. |
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