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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:13:36 PM EDT
[#1]
a 747 takes off from Warsaw Poland carrying a tour group to New York City. after the long flight they end up in a holding pattern, awaiting ATC clearance into JFK. during one of the turns the pilot activates the intercom and announces, "folks, if you look out the right side of the aircraft, you'll see the Statue of Liberty –– an enduring symbol of the freedom of this great country..." many of the Polish passengers get up and strain to get a view of Lady Liberty out the right side of the aircraft. the 747 banks sharply, loses altitude rapidly, and crashes into the Hudson River. there are no survivors. lesson learned: too many poles on the right hand side of the plane causes instability. ar-jedi |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:13:49 PM EDT
[#2]
They are white.
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:20:42 PM EDT
[#3]
As a super intelligent Polack, my feels are offended
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:22:00 PM EDT
[#4]
Because we don't care and the jokes are funny.
How do you get a one-armed Polack out of a tree? Wave! Hey Stash! *thud* |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:26:02 PM EDT
[#5]
Why did the whole Polish olympic hockey team die?
They drowned during Spring training. |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 10:31:47 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Because we don't care and the jokes are funny. How do you get a one-armed Polack out of a tree? Wave! Hey Stash! *thud* 
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Posted: 4/24/2015 11:07:14 PM EDT
[#7]
The jokes used to be a lot more common until the Solidarity movement. Almost overnight, those jokes were not very funny as everyone expected the Russians to invade and crush Poland, again. Poland gave the Russians their middle finger and dared them to do something about it. The Polish communist government = Soviet Union.
This would not have been a bloody reoccupation, like Hungary in 1956, but a real war that would have dragged in Nato. Noone wanted that. |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 11:13:07 PM EDT
[#8]
Did you hear about the Pole that raced in the Indy 500? Turns out that he pitted 92 times...
2 times for gas 3 times for tires & 87 times for directions... |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 11:28:19 PM EDT
[#9]
Turn Signal An English guy is driving with a Polish guy as his passenger, when he decides to pull over because he suspect that his turn signal may not be working. He asks the Polish guy if he doesn't mind stepping out of the car to check the lights while he tests them. The Polish guy steps out and stands in front of the car. The English guy turns on the turn signal and asks, "Is it working?" To which the Polish guy responds, "Yes, it's working....No, it's not working....Yes, it's working....No, it's not working...." |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 11:32:02 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
a 747 takes off from Warsaw Poland carrying a tour group to New York City. after the long flight they end up in a holding pattern, awaiting ATC clearance into JFK. during one of the turns the pilot activates the intercom and announces, "folks, if you look out the right side of the aircraft, you'll see the Statue of Liberty –– an enduring symbol of the freedom of this great country..." many of the Polish passengers get up and strain to get a view of Lady Liberty out the right side of the aircraft. the 747 banks sharply, loses altitude rapidly, and crashes into the Hudson River. there are no survivors. lesson learned: too many poles on the right hand side of the plane causes instability. ar-jedi We remember Nyquist Airlines 
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Posted: 4/24/2015 11:32:26 PM EDT
[#11]
Do you know how my polish ancestors came to America? The first one swam over and the rest just walked over on all the dead fish. I heard that one a lot growing up.
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Posted: 4/24/2015 11:33:50 PM EDT
[#12]
I thought we could only make fun of the Dutch?
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Posted: 4/24/2015 11:46:28 PM EDT
[#13]
i think we used to say pollocks. not sure on the spelling. is that coc compliant?
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Posted: 4/24/2015 11:49:05 PM EDT
[#14]
How can you tell the bride in a Polish wedding?
She's wearing the clean bowling shirt. |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 11:52:31 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted: They are white. You might be on to something "Why can't Black farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep!" "Why can't Mexican farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep!" "Why can't Arab farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep!" Just isn't funny |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 11:55:07 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
i think we used to say pollocks. not sure on the spelling. is that coc compliant? Pollocks are fish. Not much joke potential there. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pollock Polacks are what you make fun of. |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 11:57:27 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Because we don't care and the jokes are funny. How do you get a one-armed Polack out of a tree? Wave! Hey Stash! *thud* Quote HistoryQuoted: Because we don't care and the jokes are funny. How do you get a one-armed Polack out of a tree? Wave! Hey Stash! *thud* Yes funny, but this How do you get a one-armed Mexican out of a tree? Wave! Hey Stash! *thud* Is definitely not funny |
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Posted: 4/24/2015 11:58:58 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Did you hear about the Pole that raced in the Indy 500? Turns out that he pitted 92 times... 2 times for gas 3 times for tires & 87 times for directions... Quote HistoryQuoted: Did you hear about the Pole that raced in the Indy 500? Turns out that he pitted 92 times... 2 times for gas 3 times for tires & 87 times for directions... Did you hear about the Black that raced in the Indy 500? Turns out that he pitted 92 times... 2 times for gas 3 times for tires & 87 times for directions... is not that funny |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:02:13 AM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Because we don't care and the jokes are funny. I have NEVER been offended by the jokes, and really don't care if others are offended when I tell jokes about them. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:02:14 AM EDT
[#20]
Why did the Polish submarine sink? Someone left the screen door open.
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:02:32 AM EDT
[#21]
How do you keep a Pollock in suspense ?
. .. . I will tell you tomorrow  
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:06:14 AM EDT
[#22]
Nazi propaganda circulated Polish jokes before and during WWII.
Bigoted jokes are a simple way to dehumanize a people. Same premise as the "Black" jokes that were prevalent in the time and region where I grew up. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:08:30 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Nazi propaganda circulated Polish jokes before and during WWII. Bigoted jokes are a simple way to dehumanize a people. Same premise as the "Black" jokes that were prevalent in the time and region where I grew up.  Now, as a person of Polish descent: How do you get a Polak out of a tree? Shoot him! |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:12:43 AM EDT
[#24]
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:14:18 AM EDT
[#25]
How do you get a one handed snackbar out of a tree?
Throw him a goat, and step back because he may explode on impact. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:14:45 AM EDT
[#26]
Serious question:
How did Polish people get the reputation for being stupid? |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:16:49 AM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Serious question: How did Polish people get the reputation for being stupid?  |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:16:50 AM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Serious question: How did Polish people get the reputation for being stupid? We were some of the last off of the boat, so there was a pecking order of immigrants. We were lesser than the Irish, and somewhere above the miscellaneous immigrants from S. Europe. The Jews ruled/owned the ghettos with the Italians and both were the first to really create brutal organized crime. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:17:38 AM EDT
[#29]
Do you kknow why the Polish space program never got off the ground? No one could remember to bring matches.
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:18:56 AM EDT
[#30]
I think every country has their version or country of choice to make similar jokes. No idea how poland dominated that market for us.
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:20:28 AM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: We were some of the last off of the boat, so there was a pecking order of immigrants. We were lesser than the Irish, and somewhere above the miscellaneous immigrants from S. Europe. The Jews ruled/owned the ghettos with the Italians and both were the first to really create brutal organized crime. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Serious question: How did Polish people get the reputation for being stupid? We were some of the last off of the boat, so there was a pecking order of immigrants. We were lesser than the Irish, and somewhere above the miscellaneous immigrants from S. Europe. The Jews ruled/owned the ghettos with the Italians and both were the first to really create brutal organized crime. My mother grew up in Brooklyn. As an Italian, she couldn't walk across the street (Irish neighborhood) and if she went too far down the street, it turned into the black neighborhood. Thank goodness the Polish neighborhood stood between the Italian and black neighborhood. The Polish neighborhood was a good buffer. 1950's/60's Brooklyn sounded fun - coming to a Summer near you. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:22:20 AM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You might be on to something "Why can't Black farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep!" "Why can't Mexican farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep!" "Why can't Arab farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep!" Just isn't funny
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
They are white. You might be on to something "Why can't Black farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep!" "Why can't Mexican farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep!" "Why can't Arab farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep!" Just isn't funny
What does the little polish kid get for his birth day? Your bike. That don't work either. The joke content has to compliment the target. Eta: Poles and Blondes are largely interchangeable, joke wise. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:23:42 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Serious question: How did Polish people get the reputation for being stupid? Beats me, hell they broke the original Enigma code machines. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:29:29 AM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Serious question: How did Polish people get the reputation for being stupid? Well, they did have a system of government for a while that is the definition of stupid...a unanimous vote was required to pass anything.
People being what they are, hardly anything got done, and when they did make up their minds, it was already moot. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:30:02 AM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Beats me, hell they broke the original Enigma code machines. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Serious question: How did Polish people get the reputation for being stupid? Beats me, hell they broke the original Enigma code machines. During WWII there was a pretty big massacre of all the literati (including the Jews) by the Nazis and Soviets... Doesn't help when everyone with an IQ of over 100 is stuffed into a shallow grave. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:33:54 AM EDT
[#36]
Quoted:
Serious question: How did Polish people get the reputation for being stupid? Background: Poland was partitioned into nonexistence in the late 18th century. When the Republic of Poland was recreated following WWI, the German territory of East Prussia was separated from the rest of Germany by Poland. During the Weimar years, reclaiming lost German territory and reconnecting with East Prussia was inevitable and an issue of nationalistic pride. Invasion being inevitable, Nazi propagandist distributed dehumanizing Polish jokes as they also did with Jewish jokes. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:34:05 AM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Serious question: How did Polish people get the reputation for being stupid? Thanks to Michael Stivic they were associated with idiot American communists. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:35:12 AM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Nazi propaganda circulated Polish jokes before and during WWII. Bigoted jokes are a simple way to dehumanize a people. Same premise as the "Black" jokes that were prevalent in the time and region where I grew up. That's what I came here to say. Except for the last part. That wasn't prevalent when I grew up. I like to have not funny Polish jokes that are actually real: Did you guy hear about the Polish female scientist? She discovered radioactivity and was the only person to earn two Nobel Prizes in separate sciences! Hhahahahaa What about the Polish astronomer? He formulated the model of a heliocentric solar system. WHAT A DUMBASS! Hahahaha Hey, did you hear about the Polish virologist? He's so stupid he cured polio! So these three Polish mathematicians walk into a building in the 1930s... and the first one says to the other two, "Hey, I think we just deciphered the German enigma machine." Get it? (Yes, my last name has a lot of odd letters in it )
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:41:15 AM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
They are white. ...and Christians. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:41:59 AM EDT
[#40]
Best one I ever heard was told to me by a Polish guy at a dive bar in Nola at 4am....
How do you know you've had a Polish guy at your house party? When you wake up your dog is pregnant and the garbage is missing. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:45:29 AM EDT
[#41]
When I explained to my old, crusty neighbor after years of him calling me "Polack" that I was actually Lithuanian, he says "Oh, so you're a SMART Polack!"
I laughed. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:47:43 AM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You might be on to something "Why can't Black farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep!" "Why can't Mexican farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep!" "Why can't Arab farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep!" Just isn't funny
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
They are white. You might be on to something "Why can't Black farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep!" "Why can't Mexican farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep!" "Why can't Arab farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep!" Just isn't funny
Which one is the least likely to get you sent to HR or the unemployment line? |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 9:30:04 AM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Hey, did you hear about the Polish virologist? He's so stupid he cured polio! So these three Polish mathematicians walk into a building in the 1930s... and the first one says to the other two, "Hey, I think we just deciphered the German enigma machine." Get it? (Yes, my last name has a lot of odd letters in it )They should have detailed those guys to the submarine design team
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Posted: 4/25/2015 9:32:01 AM EDT
[#44]
There are Neandethals that still tell Pollack jokes?
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Posted: 4/25/2015 9:35:21 AM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Serious question: How did Polish people get the reputation for being stupid? |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 9:39:41 AM EDT
[#46]
Actually I love Poland. I won the Polish lottery and I won a dollar a week for a million weeks |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 9:45:36 AM EDT
[#47]
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Posted: 4/26/2015 9:22:14 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Pollocks are fish. Not much joke potential there. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pollock Polacks are what you make fun of. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
i think we used to say pollocks. not sure on the spelling. is that coc compliant? Pollocks are fish. Not much joke potential there. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pollock Polacks are what you make fun of. Thanks, ive never tried to spell it before. |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 9:26:17 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted: a 747 takes off from Warsaw Poland carrying a tour group to New York City. after the long flight they end up in a holding pattern, awaiting ATC clearance into JFK. during one of the turns the pilot activates the intercom and announces, "folks, if you look out the right side of the aircraft, you'll see the Statue of Liberty –– an enduring symbol of the freedom of this great country..." many of the Polish passengers get up and strain to get a view of Lady Liberty out the right side of the aircraft. the 747 banks sharply, loses altitude rapidly, and crashes into the Hudson River. there are no survivors. lesson learned: too many poles on the right hand side of the plane causes instability. ar-jedi |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 9:37:11 PM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You might be on to something "Why can't Black farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep!" "Why can't Mexican farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep!" "Why can't Arab farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep!" Just isn't funny
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
They are white. You might be on to something "Why can't Black farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep!" "Why can't Mexican farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep!" "Why can't Arab farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep!" Just isn't funny
What do you get when you cross a Puerto Rican with a Polack? A guy who sprays graffiti on chain link fences. 
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