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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:41:42 AM EDT
[#1]
You probably have too many teeth.
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:52:01 AM EDT
[#2]
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Posted: 4/25/2015 12:55:37 AM EDT
[#3]
Tea has ice in it. You need to know how to properly make both kinds, sweet and unsweet.
Grits come plain or with butter, sugar or as cheese grits. Get used to everyone's opening conversation being to try and figure out who you both know and/or are related to, or live close by. They put mayonnaise on everything, but that's just a backwards Alabama affectation. Don't feel any obligation to that abomination. Casseroles, learn to love them. It gets hot, early mornings and evenings are your friend for getting things done. You need to plant some kind of garden, even if it's just a few tomato plants. It will provide a common point of discussion, plus tomatoes are delicious. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 1:06:01 AM EDT
[#4]
You will be among the friendliest people on earth. Be open minded and assimilate, don't make fun of accents, but don't be afraid to ask someone to repeat themselves or tell them you don't understand, you'll probably hear a variety of southern twangs. Grits, yellow BBQ, join the local golf club, coach little league, boy scouts, you'll be fine. After 3 or 4 years, you'll be in. You'll likely be among folks that have known each other since kindergarten, so it takes a minute to truly be part of a group. I agree about the garden, good ice breaker. Azaleas and dogwoods also. After a while, if you do it right, you'll never want to go north of Tennessee. Welcome to the south, enjoy.
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Posted: 4/25/2015 1:06:01 AM EDT
[#5]
Come on down with an open mind and closed mouth, and you'll do just fine.
AL isn't at all what the rest of the country leads you to believe. Just stay out of Montgomery and Birmingham proper. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 1:06:59 AM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You probably have too many teeth. The better to gum you with, my dear.... |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 1:11:16 AM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
In spring summer and fall be sure you turn the lights off 30secs before you open the door 3 secs to let the dog in Yep. 
You'll be chasing those damn skeeter looking monsters for hours just from cracking the door. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 1:41:46 AM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Why are yankees always migrating South? It's hardly ever the other way around. Our winters would literally kill them. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 1:48:45 AM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Drive to Atlanta. The local minor league team left last year. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
What baseball is there, going to miss the Indians. Pro baseball season interferes with the proper appreciation of College Football and NASCAR. I'm from CA and even I know that. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 2:09:01 AM EDT
[#10]
Dad-gum Yankees!!!! They mess everything up!
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Posted: 4/25/2015 2:09:15 AM EDT
[#11]
everyone is a "sir" or a "Ma'am" and you better mean it, example, yes, sir. No, sir.
you will be asked who you are "kin" to... when you can't answer with someone they know, they will talk about you...just let it go your reputation in the south is all that you have...once you screw it up, you are labeled pretty much for life southern women are as sweet as pie and meaner than a rattlesnake...stay on their good side the Civil War is referred to the War of Northern Aggression in the south.... and yes they still hold a grudge you will still be considered a Yankee even after you have lived there for 15-20 years always be respectful of their ways, no matter how country they are, they are probably smarter than you... heed their advice oh and sweet tea is just that...sweet...if you want to show folks that you are a Yankee, order your tea unsweetened |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 8:11:49 AM EDT
[#12]
We moved from Ohio to a small town in Northwestern Virginia closer to WV than I am to DC. So we are republican country for the most part.
The area I am in is purple, we get migrants from northern virginia who move from the DC area to the "country" they are worse than yankees, they are fricken DC liberals. Have one that moved into my neighborhood from DC and said "I don't believe in guns" well you are in the wrong place, sit on your porch at any time and you will hear anything from Tannerite going off to full auto gun fire. But I've learned a few things, people who grew up in this area are southern and the area is segregated not black and white but locals and outsiders. It takes a while to get to know the local group, there are about 5 common last names and its small town so most everyone who grew up here is related to someone else and you never know who is related to who. Sweet tea is sugar with just enough brown liquid to make the sugar drinkable. "Bless your heart" is an not a good thing. You are from Ohio You know how on the first day of a good snow in Ohio everyone forgets how to drive in winter and then about a week goes by and then people figure it out? Well in the south it snows so infrequently that when it does everyone drive like an Ohioan on the first snow fall of the year. It won't snow for three weeks and everyone forgets. Get SiriusXM sports package and you can listen to Tom Hamilton call the Indians game on your computer or smartphone. iHeart won't carry the Indian games because you need buy a subscription to MLB.com SiruisXM you get the Browns, Cavs and Indians without having to pay MLB.com. But I like that Winter runs from Late November to Early March, not like Ohio where winter starts in October and runs until May. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 8:16:12 AM EDT
[#13]
Go to the gulf beaches.
Enjoy, Alabama is chock full of good people. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 8:21:39 AM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Make sure you tell everyone the right way to do things, because Southerners love having a Yankee tell them they're doing something the wrong way. Amen honey. No matter where I am I can point the way to I95 North without even thinking. 
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Posted: 4/25/2015 8:35:32 AM EDT
[#15]
Become an expert at fixing grits 'n' red-eye gravy**. That'll work wonders for your assimilation into Southern culture.
Do NOT, repeat NOT, however, use instant grits! Those evil things are an abomination, an insult to God, The Confederacy, General Robert E. Lee, and his horse Traveller! They are not even fit to be served to Yankees (unless said Yankees are obnoxious in-laws who have overstayed their welcome). **Article referenced intentionally to show that even a Brooklyn Yankee can learn how to properly prepare grits. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 9:01:50 AM EDT
[#16]
Everything you need to know to get your pistol permit from the Madison county sheriff's office. http://sheriff.madisoncountyal.gov/pistolfaq.html
I lived in Madison for +20 before I retired, your gonna like north Alabama! - Space and Rocket Center - Larry's Guns (both the north Parkway and Greenbriar locations) - Jack Daniel's Distillery - Miss Mary Bobo's (near JD's place) - TN and Elk Rivers - Good hunting - Hog hunting Alcohol laws in north AL have gotten much better in the last 20 years, you can now buy beer/wine on Sundays in Madison and Cullman. The craft brew business has taken off since they passed the new brew law several years ago. It still has a way to go compared to some states, but we're getting there. Good luck! |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 9:02:38 AM EDT
[#17]
Learn to like Barbecue
Say M'am and Sir to elders It's not Peecan pie it's Pahcan pie How you did it in (wherever you're from) doesn't matter. Don't trash General Lee It is not the Civil War, it is the war of Northern Aggression. if it snows, stay home because Southerners trying to drive on snow is like suicide Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive If some says "Hold my beer", be prepared to be entertained. Howdy Neighbor, welcome to the South |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 9:03:51 AM EDT
[#18]
you need to know two things:
1)fuck bama 2)war damn eagle |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 9:06:19 AM EDT
[#19]
its hot.
bugs. sweet tea. trailer parks. freedom. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 9:14:47 AM EDT
[#20]
If you ever get into an argument DON"T end with "WELL WE WON THE WAR!!" you will get your ass handed to you.
EBR666 |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 9:17:22 AM EDT
[#21]
Don't be a yank.
Be polite. Don't trespass. Own guns |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 2:08:50 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I work in Huntsville in the space biz. Recognize that a SIGNIFICANT number of the people you meet are engineers. Lots of whom have advanced degrees. So even though someone may speak in the most stereotypical southern/country accent, he or she stands a good chance of being a damn well educated redneck. In other words, don't treat us like we're stupid unless you want us to treat you like a damn-Yankee. Carry permits are well managed. As a new transplant generally sheriffs won't issue you a state permit until you've been a resident for awhile but they have wide discretion and may well issue you a county permit if you check out as a good guy. As with any city huntsville has its bad areas but they're pretty well defined and people can tell you where they are. Traffic in Huntsville is insane and the roads squirley. North/south remember parkway, east/west think highway 565. If you have allergies to pollen, may God have mercy on your nose :( . Some complain about the heat during the summer but remember its not that bad. Only rarely is the humidity above 99% when the temps exceed 98 deg. I forgot to mention Fireants. Cute little things. If you see a mound of dirt (btw all dirt is red ) that's fire ants. Get into that nest and they will swarm and make your life truely miserable.  |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 2:15:44 PM EDT
[#23]
Quoted: I'm an Ohio Yankee with a new job moving to Alabama. What do I need to know moving to the south? |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 2:24:10 PM EDT
[#24]
I live at the southern end of the state near Mobile. Not very familiar with Huntsville, but you should enjoy living in Alabama. I have heard the culture in the very southern part of the state is different than the northern part, though.
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Posted: 4/25/2015 2:52:08 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Our winters would literally kill them. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Why are yankees always migrating South? It's hardly ever the other way around. Our winters would literally kill them. So does that make you "hardy", or us "smart"?
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Posted: 4/25/2015 2:56:31 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
everyone is a "sir" or a "Ma'am" and you better mean it, example, yes, sir. No, sir. you will be asked who you are "kin" to... when you can't answer with someone they know, they will talk about you...just let it go your reputation in the south is all that you have...once you screw it up, you are labeled pretty much for life southern women are as sweet as pie and meaner than a rattlesnake...stay on their good side the Civil War is referred to the War of Northern Aggression in the south.... and yes they still hold a grudge you will still be considered a Yankee even after you have lived there for 15-20 years always be respectful of their ways, no matter how country they are, they are probably smarter than you... heed their advice oh and sweet tea is just that...sweet...if you want to show folks that you are a Yankee, order your tea unsweetened Noooo, "they" (we) don't. However, if someone starts throwing out "Southern" stereotypes and statements about how "We kicked y'alls asses once....." They probably won't be making many friends here. Also: Just 'cause I talk slower than you doesn't necessarily mean I think slower.......
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Posted: 4/25/2015 3:16:28 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Your closer to Georgia. And that's better. I'm pretty sure after Extorris moved to GA, our Yankee quota was filled for the next 3 years.
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Posted: 4/25/2015 3:22:55 PM EDT
[#28]
Quickest way to get your ass kicked or lose friends etc...is to inform them you are recently moved from NY and then try to tell them how they need to change to be more like NY.
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Posted: 4/25/2015 3:41:52 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Butler County is named after my grandmother's family. At one time, they owned most of Conecuh County. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Butler county is God's country. God actually lives in greenville. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile Butler County is named after my grandmother's family. At one time, they owned most of Conecuh County.  I lived on conecuh street in greenville! It was dry country when I lived there and everything closed at noon on wednesdays. It was the best place to be a teenager! One of the happiest times of my live was the years I lived in greenville. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 3:54:45 PM EDT
[#30]
A lot of southerners say I talk too fast.
I grew up in California though, so maybe that has something to do with it? I dunno. Anyway, possibly think about slowing down. 
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Posted: 4/25/2015 3:57:57 PM EDT
[#31]
Go to a bar or get invited to a party.
The first time you see a person say or do a dumb thing, say this: "Damn. There's a reason you people lost the war." |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 4:13:52 PM EDT
[#32]
Being from Texas here is my advice. Be polite, take your hat off in the presence of the ladies, say "yes mamm & no mamm", listen with out talking for a few months, let people into your parking spot, OPEN DOORS FOR FOLKS, learn about the food by TRYING it not asking what it is. This is how I made it when I moved across the street in my home town.
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Posted: 4/25/2015 5:35:13 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I lived on conecuh street in greenville! It was dry country when I lived there and everything closed at noon on wednesdays. It was the best place to be a teenager! One of the happiest times of my live was the years I lived in greenville. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Butler county is God's country. God actually lives in greenville. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile Butler County is named after my grandmother's family. At one time, they owned most of Conecuh County.
I lived on conecuh street in greenville! It was dry country when I lived there and everything closed at noon on wednesdays. It was the best place to be a teenager! One of the happiest times of my live was the years I lived in greenville. Greenville does seem like a nice area. I'm not sure if it's dry up there anymore or not. Mobile and Baldwin counties are pretty liberal with alcohol laws, so dry counties seem pretty odd to me. I can remember years ago when it was a big deal to allow Sunday sales of alcohol. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 5:38:36 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Lived in Huntsville for 2 years as a kid when my dad was TDYed to Redstone Arsenal. They were just building Grissom High right next to where we lived. I didn't want to leave  Named for Gus Grissom? |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 5:39:09 PM EDT
[#35]
If you want to make friends buy a 50 quart stainless drum and propane burner.
Buy a 5-10# bag of crawdads, powdered crab boil, corn, red taters, and andouille sausage (gator and pork is best). Combine all ingredients with water and boil crawdads until nice and red and dead. Buy a plastic table and cover it with newspaper and paper plates. Dump contents of drum onto table. Repeat with second 5# of crawdads. Everyone will love you and will not think of you as a Damn Yankee. Bonus points if you "suck the head" in front of your guests. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 5:45:18 PM EDT
[#36]
Tell them your sister is already spoken for, and you're not sharing her with anyone.
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Posted: 4/25/2015 5:49:14 PM EDT
[#37]
I work in hsv live about 40 miles away. You plan on any shooting sports? We have regular matches for all shooting sports.
Find rocket city practical shooting on Facebook for match info Larrys and academy sports for guns and ammo |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 7:08:37 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Drive to Atlanta. The local minor league team left last year. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
What baseball is there, going to miss the Indians. No love for the barons? The new stadium In bham is really nice. Team sucks, but so do the Braves this year :( Welcome to the state! Some good advice In here but it's not too difficult; don't be a cunt, help your neighbors, say sir and maam, and you'll do just fine The new space center really is a dissapointment. I went up there for the first time since the renovation to take my girlfriend, I was shocked. The whole entry way that used to have awesome space shuttle and lunar lander simulators and all kinds of awesome hand on experiments has been turned into a giant hand job for Von Braun. Just totally disengaging and dissapointing to expect rockets and walk into a half ass biography. Then the rest of the space that used to hold Skylab and other cool stuff is an ad space for .mil. The new building is okay, it's just very surgical and feels like a banquet hall more than a museum Broke my heart. Fortunately I went to space camp before they fucked it up |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 7:19:43 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Named for Gus Grissom? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Lived in Huntsville for 2 years as a kid when my dad was TDYed to Redstone Arsenal. They were just building Grissom High right next to where we lived. I didn't want to leave Yes, it is. We also have Chaffee elementary and Ed White middle |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 7:45:07 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Why are yankees always migrating South? It's hardly ever the other way around. For some folks, after living and working through 60+ Northern winters, it just seems like the logical thing to do. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 8:04:37 PM EDT
[#41]
Lots of people from Ohio work at Marshall Space Flight Center. Huntsville is full of people that migrated there from somewhere else. Huntsville is also one of the most educated cities in the country. PHDs are common there and engineers are very abundant.
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Posted: 4/25/2015 8:33:45 PM EDT
[#42]
I was in Tuscaloosa for a week at U of A last week and another in January
I've only been to Tuscaloosa and cannot speak for anywhere else in Alabama. My perception 1. Football is big 2. The 'Roll Tide' is added to the sentences a lot. 3. It's pretty green out there. 4. Housing is more expensive than Dallas 5. There are a lot of black people in Tuscaloosa. They are a lot nicer than black people in Texas 6. There are a lot rednecks. They are about the same as in Texas. Bunch of Rednecks. 7. If there is a one bit of snow, the school shuts down 8. Food is horrible. You will get fat. I saw so many fat people. It make Texas look healthy. Don't go to places that says 'Country Cooking' 9. There aren't many job opportunities like Texas. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 8:35:24 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I'm pretty sure after Extorris moved to GA, our Yankee quota was filled for the next 3 years. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Your closer to Georgia. And that's better. I'm pretty sure after Extorris moved to GA, our Yankee quota was filled for the next 3 years. That was the asshole quota that got filled.
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Posted: 4/25/2015 8:36:00 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
All you need to know is the further south you go the more people desperately cling to their "starz-n-barz" and harp on the "waruh norvern 'gression'. Have fun. 
The south lost, time to get over it. Y'all jus jellus we ain't got no Safe Act. 
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Posted: 4/25/2015 8:43:42 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Named for Gus Grissom? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Lived in Huntsville for 2 years as a kid when my dad was TDYed to Redstone Arsenal. They were just building Grissom High right next to where we lived. I didn't want to leave Pfft, well, yeah! Thought everybody knew that. |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 8:50:43 PM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted: That was the asshole quota that got filled. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Your closer to Georgia. And that's better. I'm pretty sure after Extorris moved to GA, our Yankee quota was filled for the next 3 years. That was the asshole quota that got filled.  |
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Posted: 4/25/2015 8:55:17 PM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Isn't that redundant? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Your closer to Georgia. And that's better. I'm pretty sure after Extorris moved to GA, our Yankee quota was filled for the next 3 years. That was the asshole quota that got filled. Aimless is ok.
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Posted: 4/25/2015 8:55:56 PM EDT
[#48]
They really love it when you tell them how we do things up here. the insight, knowledge, and smugness it conveys makes them comfortable.
When a Yankee in the south says "Well, back home we do it THIS way..." everyone stops and listens for awesome information.
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Posted: 4/25/2015 8:56:07 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Y'all jus jellus we ain't got no Safe Act. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
All you need to know is the further south you go the more people desperately cling to their "starz-n-barz" and harp on the "waruh norvern 'gression'. Have fun.
The south lost, time to get over it. Y'all jus jellus we ain't got no Safe Act. I know I miss it. 
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Posted: 4/25/2015 9:52:52 PM EDT
[#50]
Thanks for all the advice guys. I am one of those piled higher and deeper engineers so I got that going for or against me. Started college in Arkansas (but grew up and finished college in the greater Cleveland area) so I learned to eat a lot southern food then. Love sweet tea and BBQ.
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