Lived in Huntsville for 2 years as a kid when my dad was TDYed to Redstone Arsenal. They were just building Grissom High right next to where we lived.

I didn't want to leave  

Yea, my Daughter lives in Montgomery. Everyone is nice.
When I visit. People can tell that I'm not from there. But they can't pinpoint my accent.
Hell they can't even get the state or region correct!
I just tell them I'm from the country, a little farther North of Alabama.
It's pretty nice up north around Huntsville .

Wrong. He colored the sky Carolina Blue for a reason.

OP, you will always be a Yankee. That sums up most of what you need to know.

It's a joke, but Winston Groom (the author) lived on the Eastern Shore (Fairhope, etc) and Mobile, so if you're a true Alabama redneck you can turn it around on them

Wow, they are actually in the process of building  a new grissom high a few miles away from the current one.

Do not listen to this man.

As an outsider ... never take sides. Ever.

Why are yankees always migrating South?

It's hardly ever the other way around.

We use double negatives. Period.
" dont get that, it aint no count"
"that wont do you no good"
" i cant find my keys nowhere"
" we aint never seen a tornado that big"

Best advice is to stay up north.

Alabama is as much home for me as anywhere else.

My mom moved there out of the blue when she returned from a multiyear overseas assignment.  Moved her stuff from Chicago to Auburn.  And then went to work for the better part of another ten years overseas.  She could have retired anywhere in the world, but she decided to stay in Alabama.  Best neighbors you could ever find.

Hey, hey, it's ALABAMA, not hill country

Beats me, I like the snow.

You need a confederate flag
Shitty 90s camaro

And a sister to plow


Should fit right in

That is actually the best advice in this thread. Being from ohio, I recommend wearing an Ohio st shirt every day of the week

Huntsville is just close enough to T-town that that may be a tragic idea...

pepper your angus

I'm pretty sure I don't want to think about that one.

Welcome new neighbor. Huntsville is different than the rest of the state.  More transplants than locals. What brings you down here?

 

They have college hockey in Huntsville.
You won't feel too left out in wintertime.

I'm going to guess money.

Here are some things you need to know…

Larry’s Pistol and Pawn.
Last Resort Gun Range.
Swan Creek WMA range (enter at your own risk)

I don’t know about where you are from, but in my experiences many northern cities tend to have a lot of segregation and it’s dangerous for White people to drive through Black neighborhoods. Huntsville is about one third Black. There are some areas that are mostly Black and some areas that are mostly White. But people are generally fairly integrated. There really isn’t any of that kind of racial issues in Huntsville, at least for the most part. Everyone generally gets along.

I say this not even knowing what race you are. I’ve known a few Black people who move here from the North who are really scared at first when they realize they are surrounded by Rednecks (got a funny story about that) and I’ve known a few Northern White people who feel the same way when they find themselves being the only White people around. If this happens to you then just pretend you don’t notice and no one else will notice either.

The real racial division is between the majority Crimson Tide race and the genetically inferior minority Auburn race. Fortunately you get to pick which one you want to be.

Bass are a constant threat. They are out there in the river with their beady little fish eyes, plotting the overthrow of the human race. It’s your duty to get a fishing pole, head to Lake Guntersville, and keep them properly suppressed.

The cops are generally pretty honest and they usually won’t nab you for speeding if you are only going 10 over... Generally, don't tempt them. (This doesn’t count in a residential area.) But they will nail you for 15 over, drive accordingly.

Unless things have changed recently, the Sheriff has discretion in issuing CCW permits. But, if it were up to the Sheriff, he would probably require people to have permits not to carry guns. You won’t have any problem getting a CCW permit.


You can’t miss the Space Center so I won’t tell you about that. There is a small Military History museum near the old airport. (It hasn’t been an airport for 40 years or so, now it’s mostly soccer fields) it’s worth a visit. And, if you’ve ever wanted to work on tanks, I bet they could use a volunteer or two.

The heat… OMG the heat. It’s really only bad from about the middle of June to the middle of September. For about a month before that and a month after, it might get really hot during the day, but it’s at least bearable at night. But for those three months. Damn it’s hot.

All in all, Huntsville is a pretty decent place to live.

What I kind thing to say

I went from growing up in upstate New York to Alabama for three years. It's not that different. Maybe a little slower paced, but still mostly the same.
 

Not true.  The demand is low for the NYT because we know BS when we see it.  Also, metrosexual is not the style down here.  Think Carharrt.

CCW permits are shall issue and anything legal per the NFA is legal here.  

Find the old Greenbrier Restaurant and get the fried catfish and hush puppies.


Oh, and if you have problems and need rehab:

You don't get out of MI much, do you?

And nevermind the past participle tense, you won't need it.  Just think present and past; easy peasy.

When out in public with your family, don't be all shouty and loud carrying on like you're the only ones around.  Show some discretion.

I can get you into the Blue and Grey Rifle and Pistol Club unless you are a Yankee of the damnable type.

Stay out of cuntgomery and fire ants are the devil.

We say grace and we say ma'am - If you ain't into that, we don't give a damn.

Mosquitoes, the humidity in June, July & August, and the spring & fall tornado patterns trump fire ants any day.

 

Thats some classic good advice right there!

Tips for eating grits:

- Never, ever put sugar in your grits.  Only butter and salt.  

- When you think you have too much butter in your grits, add a bit more.  Then put salt in to taste.  



When someone asks whether you are an Auburn or Alabama fan, just say that you are from Ohio.  

FIFY

Prepare to be disappointed.

Say Hi to Dr. Barnhard for me (actually fuck her)

I call dibs on the Mig15 when the place goes under.

Oh, you'll fit right in, all kind of yankees here now, and the all drive like dicks.
MI, OH, PA, NY all those tags are clues.

What baseball is there, going to miss the Indians.

Actually a lot of our coal is pretty crappy.  A lot gets shipped out overseas and we use other states' coal in the power plants, though lately they have been using natural gas more.

OP:  pick a football team and at least learn a bit about football even if you don't give a rip. Nim not a football guy and if I didn't pick up a thing or two about it I wouldn't be able to have a decent conversation with anyone because it always goes to football.

The brewing scene in Huntsville is good (not as good as Birmingham but I'm biased)

You'll like Hunstville.  We have a bunch of Arfcommers down towards Birmingham as well if you decide to take a day trip down.

Roll Tide!

Drive to Atlanta. The local minor league team left last year.

 

You're gonna stand out like a sore thumb unless you get some pliers, pull out half your teeth and fancy your kin

Tag for a more serious post later.

Come to our meet and greet in June.

They got the Braves in Hotlanta. Same difference.

Swan Creek.  go on a weekday.  fewer goobers.
Theres another WMA range up in Paint Rock valley too, 200yrder if I read it right, never been there.

Geese, coons, and ducks are also demon spawn.  They are always watching you.
hehe

For years the old sheriff only issued 1 year at a time.  The new guy added a multiyear purchase (up to 5) the last time I went.  So its better.

And the Parkway was designed by a german rocket scientist, and is proof positive that not all german scientists were geniuses, some were downright stupid as rocks.
The Pkwy takes up enough land to lay down 14 lanes of traffic, yet is really only 2 lanes effective.

I sell guns at Larry's in Huntsville - stop by and say hello

I work in Huntsville in the space biz. Recognize that a SIGNIFICANT number of the people you meet are engineers. Lots of whom have advanced degrees. So even though someone may speak in the most stereotypical southern/country accent, he or she stands a good chance of being a damn well educated redneck. In other words, don't treat us like we're stupid unless you want us to treat you like a damn-Yankee. Carry permits are well managed. As a new transplant generally sheriffs won't issue you a state permit until you've been a resident for awhile but they have wide discretion and may well issue you a county permit if you check out as a good guy.  As with any city huntsville has its bad areas but they're pretty well defined and people can tell you where they are. Traffic in Huntsville is insane and the roads squirley. North/south remember parkway, east/west think highway 565. If you have allergies to pollen, may God have mercy on your nose :( . Some complain about the heat during the summer but remember its not that bad. Only rarely is the humidity above 99% when the temps exceed 98 deg.

I forgot to mention Fireants. Cute little things. If you see a mound of dirt (btw all dirt is red ) that's fire ants. Get into that nest and they will swarm and make your life truely miserable.

Well the minor league team just left to Mobile.  They play here 4/30 since their new stadium isn't ready yet.

But I bet if you cough up the $40mil for a NEW STADIUM they want here, you could get a team here pdq.
I predict an new tax increase soon just for that very thing.