Things you never ever say to your wife.... - Page 4

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Posted: 4/25/2015 2:27:16 PM EDT

[#1]

just the tip

Posted: 4/25/2015 2:55:23 PM EDT

[#2]

Quote History

Quoted:
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Look, can we just pretend I've asked you a dozen times already and cut to the chase?"

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

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You are a genius.

Posted: 4/25/2015 9:06:22 PM EDT

[#3]

It's discussions like this that make me appreciate my wife all the more.

Posted: 4/25/2015 9:09:08 PM EDT

[#4]

You need meds.

Posted: 4/25/2015 10:33:56 PM EDT

[#5]

Quote History

Quoted:

No. Fuck that last part. If she wants to sleep alone, she's welcome to sleep wherever she wants, but I'm not going to the couch.
F
U
C
K

that

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Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
Me: Let's go eat.
Her: Ok.
Me: Where do you want to go?
Her: I don't know, you decide.
Me: Ok, how about Santa Caterina?
Her: No, we just ate there last week.
Me: Ok, sushi?
Her: No, I'm not really in the mood for sushi.
Me: Ok, Mangeri's then. Italian ok?
Her: I feel so full after we eat there, I'm not really in the mood for that.
Me: Wine Bar?
Her: No, I want something heavier than appetizers.
Me: Ok, uh, well, Flores?
Her: I already said I don't want mexican.
Me: No, you said you didn't want to eat at Santa Caterina. You didn't rule out all mexican.
Her: Well, I don't really want mexican.
Me: Chili's?
Her: Come on, seriously?
Me: You come on, you keep shooting down every idea. How about we just go to Sonic?
Her: Ewuck. Fast food? I don't want fast food.
Me: Ok, what do you want?
Her: I don't know, you decide.
Me: LISTEN. I DON'T WANT TO PLAY GUESS WHERE THE FUCK YOU WANT TO EAT ALL NIGHT. JUST TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK YOU WANT TO GO AND WE'LL GO THERE. FUCK.
Her: ^%$& #)_& !!Y*&^)* *&&^$$ !!@%$* $&UIU%T!!!!!!!
Me: (sleeping upstairs on the couch tonight)

No. Fuck that last part. If she wants to sleep alone, she's welcome to sleep wherever she wants, but I'm not going to the couch.
F
U
C
K

that

Guarantee if someone opened a restaurant named "I Don't Know" would make a fortune!

Posted: 4/25/2015 10:50:15 PM EDT

[#6]

Me: I want a divorce

Her: Then I want everything. ev-ery-thing...

Posted: 4/25/2015 11:02:04 PM EDT

[#7]

I would fuck her.

Posted: 4/25/2015 11:27:21 PM EDT

[#8]

This really happened the other day...

She had some kind of sinus congestion and had pain and pressure behind her eyes. She says to me "My face is hurting me".

I says to her "Hurting you??? It's killing me!!!"

She didn't think it was as funny as I thought it was. I think I laughed at least twice as long as she did.

Posted: 4/26/2015 7:50:09 PM EDT

[#9]

Quote History

Quoted:

Guarantee if someone opened a restaurant named "I Don't Know" would make a fortune!

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Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
Me: Let's go eat.
Her: Ok.
Me: Where do you want to go?
Her: I don't know, you decide.
Me: Ok, how about Santa Caterina?
Her: No, we just ate there last week.
Me: Ok, sushi?
Her: No, I'm not really in the mood for sushi.
Me: Ok, Mangeri's then. Italian ok?
Her: I feel so full after we eat there, I'm not really in the mood for that.
Me: Wine Bar?
Her: No, I want something heavier than appetizers.
Me: Ok, uh, well, Flores?
Her: I already said I don't want mexican.
Me: No, you said you didn't want to eat at Santa Caterina. You didn't rule out all mexican.
Her: Well, I don't really want mexican.
Me: Chili's?
Her: Come on, seriously?
Me: You come on, you keep shooting down every idea. How about we just go to Sonic?
Her: Ewuck. Fast food? I don't want fast food.
Me: Ok, what do you want?
Her: I don't know, you decide.
Me: LISTEN. I DON'T WANT TO PLAY GUESS WHERE THE FUCK YOU WANT TO EAT ALL NIGHT. JUST TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK YOU WANT TO GO AND WE'LL GO THERE. FUCK.
Her: ^%$& #)_& !!Y*&^)* *&&^$$ !!@%$* $&UIU%T!!!!!!!
Me: (sleeping upstairs on the couch tonight)

No. Fuck that last part. If she wants to sleep alone, she's welcome to sleep wherever she wants, but I'm not going to the couch.
F
U
C
K

that

Guarantee if someone opened a restaurant named "I Don't Know" would make a fortune!

Posted: 4/26/2015 8:12:42 PM EDT

[#10]

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=k80nW6AOhTs

Posted: 4/26/2015 8:14:30 PM EDT

[#11]

Quote History

Quoted:
Me: Let's go eat.
Her: Ok.
Me: Where do you want to go?
Her: I don't know, you decide.
Me: Ok, how about Santa Caterina?
Her: No, we just ate there last week.
Me: Ok, sushi?
Her: No, I'm not really in the mood for sushi.
Me: Ok, Mangeri's then. Italian ok?
Her: I feel so full after we eat there, I'm not really in the mood for that.
Me: Wine Bar?
Her: No, I want something heavier than appetizers.
Me: Ok, uh, well, Flores?
Her: I already said I don't want mexican.
Me: No, you said you didn't want to eat at Santa Caterina. You didn't rule out all mexican.
Her: Well, I don't really want mexican.
Me: Chili's?
Her: Come on, seriously?
Me: You come on, you keep shooting down every idea. How about we just go to Sonic?
Her: Ewuck. Fast food? I don't want fast food.
Me: Ok, what do you want?
Her: I don't know, you decide.
Me: LISTEN. I DON'T WANT TO PLAY GUESS WHERE THE FUCK YOU WANT TO EAT ALL NIGHT. JUST TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK YOU WANT TO GO AND WE'LL GO THERE. FUCK.
Her: ^%$& #)_& !!Y*&^)* *&&^$$ !!@%$* $&UIU%T!!!!!!!
Me: (sleeping upstairs on the couch tonight)

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Posted: 4/26/2015 8:16:15 PM EDT

[#12]

Quote History

Quoted:

http://i.imgur.com/WxU5Ie2.jpg

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Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
Me: Let's go eat.
Her: Ok.
Me: Where do you want to go?
Her: I don't know, you decide.
Me: Ok, how about Santa Caterina?
Her: No, we just ate there last week.
Me: Ok, sushi?
Her: No, I'm not really in the mood for sushi.
Me: Ok, Mangeri's then. Italian ok?
Her: I feel so full after we eat there, I'm not really in the mood for that.
Me: Wine Bar?
Her: No, I want something heavier than appetizers.
Me: Ok, uh, well, Flores?
Her: I already said I don't want mexican.
Me: No, you said you didn't want to eat at Santa Caterina. You didn't rule out all mexican.
Her: Well, I don't really want mexican.
Me: Chili's?
Her: Come on, seriously?
Me: You come on, you keep shooting down every idea. How about we just go to Sonic?
Her: Ewuck. Fast food? I don't want fast food.
Me: Ok, what do you want?
Her: I don't know, you decide.
Me: LISTEN. I DON'T WANT TO PLAY GUESS WHERE THE FUCK YOU WANT TO EAT ALL NIGHT. JUST TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK YOU WANT TO GO AND WE'LL GO THERE. FUCK.
Her: ^%$& #)_& !!Y*&^)* *&&^$$ !!@%$* $&UIU%T!!!!!!!
Me: (sleeping upstairs on the couch tonight)

No. Fuck that last part. If she wants to sleep alone, she's welcome to sleep wherever she wants, but I'm not going to the couch.
F
U
C
K

that

Guarantee if someone opened a restaurant named "I Don't Know" would make a fortune!

http://i.imgur.com/WxU5Ie2.jpg

No way in hell is that real!

Posted: 4/26/2015 8:17:40 PM EDT

[#13]

Quote History

Quoted:

The "arfcom curse" starts to make a little sense, if some of these quotes have actually been used.

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You said it. Holy Cow I'd never think of saying most of this stuff to my wife.

Although, admittedly some of it is kinda funny....

Posted: 4/26/2015 8:17:44 PM EDT

[#14]

Posted: 4/26/2015 8:19:31 PM EDT

[#15]

Quote History

Quoted:

It's discussions like this that make me appreciate my wife all the more.

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Posted: 4/26/2015 8:34:43 PM EDT

[#16]

I think most of you are doing it wrong.

Things I never ever say to my wife...

If you hate your job so much, go ahead and quit. I'll take up the slack.

Let's go visit your mom.

Damn I wish you'd quit giving me so many blowjobs!