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Posted: 4/20/2015 2:10:23 AM EDT
[#1]
Multiple joint accounts.
Her account and mine, both joint, simply for ease of maintaining accounting and balancing. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 5:47:17 AM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Well, you guys won't have to worry about your spouse bitching about gun related purchases. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I am pretty sure LP and I are going to go Joint Accounts, although we have not discussed it specifically as of yet. Well, you guys won't have to worry about your spouse bitching about gun related purchases. Thats a fact 
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Posted: 4/20/2015 5:55:10 AM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Been married going on 20 yrs. Wife and I have never had joint accounts, it just seemed like a hassle and heard too many horror stories of one spouse or the other thinking there was money in an account to write a check, that the other just spent. To me, if you don't trust your spouse enough that you have to know every fucking thing they do every minute of the day, you have a problem. My wife just started working again after 16 yrs. I know a ballpark amount of what's in her account. If I needed some of it, I would let her know, vice versa. Also prevents identity thieves from draining everything you have if one person gets hacked. Freaking this! Separate accounts make a good marriage just like fences make good neighbors. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 6:03:51 AM EDT
[#4]
We have a joint account that we use for our primary incomes and paying most bills. Each has our separate accounts from before we were married but rarely use them anymore - we never closed them due to living in a different state. Her pre existing account just sits while mine is tied to some small things like PayPal. Mine is merely used for that purpose and storing our long term savings.
We both make roughly the same amount and talk about financial goals regularly. If I didn't trust her with money why would I have married her or why would I trust her with my potential kids future? |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 6:07:11 AM EDT
[#5]
Joint accounts. I didn't see that option in the poll
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Posted: 4/20/2015 6:36:44 AM EDT
[#6]
Quoted:
I have married friends who keep their money separate and some even to the extent that one does not know how much money the other has. I think it is counter productive for a marriage and seems to point toward someone being unsure about the solidity of the relationship. What does ARFCOM think? Poll inbound. if you want to keep seperate accounts you might as well just get divorced now. its not going to work. to make a marriage work you need to be on the same page with money. that means knowing how much you have and where its going. if you cant agree on that its not going to last. 50% of first marriages end in divorce and around 70% of second marriages. the two main reasons are infidelity and money problems. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 6:39:23 AM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Combine it or don't be married. If you're married and keep it all separated, you probably won't stay married long. Ask me how I know. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 6:53:27 AM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Learned that the expensive way Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Combine it or don't be married. If you're married and keep it all separated, you probably won't stay married long. Ask me how I know. We combine it to start and take a certain percentage off to separate accounts. If things go south, then in theory we could empty the joint account(s) pretty quick. After something happened over ten years ago we like to be diverse in where our money is because having all your eggs in one basket can be a very bad thing. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 7:13:52 AM EDT
[#9]
Joint accounts for 30 years. She has a small savings in her name only. It is her money she can spend it as she wants but if we need to pull it out for something she has done so in the past.
To me it isn't a matter of trust, I try to keep her informed with where the money goes and how it is spent but she has little interest in that end of things, she can access everything at any time she wants. Even though I handle most of the day to day stuff I make sure she knows where the money is going. This past week: New tires-$1000; Dental $750; taxes due $3000; so kind of an expensive week for us anyway. The point is a friend divorced last year after 20 some year marriage. He handled all the money decisions complete trust on her part. He trashed her financially, failure to pay bills, ran up credit cards, spent money who knows where. He just up and left her and the kids. She is now recovering from that, or trying to. My point is as a spouse/significant other you need to be informed of how the machine is running, like anything else it will have glitches and if your not watching it, it will run out of fuel or oil and blow up. Even If you don't like finances just look at account information at least once a month or so and see where the money is going. You need to have some clue so if your Significant Other gets hit by a truck you can still survive. *She is the friend, worked with her for over 20 years, he is simply, well a thief. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 7:43:28 AM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Joint, wtf is the point otherwise? Call me old fashion... but this |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 7:47:32 AM EDT
[#11]
I have been married so long I don't even know when my pay weeks are. The bills are paid on time and if I want to buy something I ask if we have the spare money, she either says yes no or is it a gun?
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Posted: 4/20/2015 7:49:16 AM EDT
[#12]
We have one checking account, but we have separate savings accounts at our job's credit unions.
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Posted: 4/20/2015 7:56:15 AM EDT
[#13]
All mine...she can't even be trusted with a credit card without daily limits. She signed herself up for a Kohls card the other weekend...it wasn't pretty.
If she ever gets her hands on cash, she spends it within the week...doesn't matter how much. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 8:01:55 AM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
We have a joint account we put money into every month to pay for joint expenses like rent, groceries, bills, etc. Other than that our money is our money, it works out well. No arguments about money. That's how we do it as well. We do have a joint checking though that we both contribute to. We don't fight about money at all and our bills get paid/money gets saved. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 8:09:54 AM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Marriage is a team, yo. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile Yep doing things like keep money separate can only breed distrust and distrust is a marriage killer. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 8:22:23 AM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Marriage is a team, yo. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 8:51:34 AM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Joint, wtf is the point otherwise? So joint I don't know how much cash is in my wallet day to day 
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Posted: 4/20/2015 8:54:57 AM EDT
[#18]
Joint.
I married a woman I trust. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 8:55:47 AM EDT
[#19]
All of my money from my main job goes into the joint account. Half of her money goes into the joint account. The other half goes into a savings account (essentially saving 25% of our yearly income). Then I do consulting on the side, and all of that goes into my private play account that funds my hobbies.
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Posted: 4/20/2015 9:06:02 AM EDT
[#20]
we have our own accounts and then a jount account that we pay our join credit cards on. we use the credit cards for our purchases throughout the month, then split everything right down the middle to pay them off each month. whatever is leftover is ours. i dont know what she has and she doesnt know what i have. if we want to make a large purchase, we save up and then use a credit card to buy it, transfer the money into the joint account and then pay it off each month. works great for us, we rarely fight about money.
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Posted: 4/20/2015 9:10:29 AM EDT
[#21]
When I worked I had my own account that I used to pay my car note, gas, clothes, daycare, etc. He paid the regular bills out of the joint account and I'd use it for groceries.
Separate money worked for us for 10 years. It's been about another 10 years since I've worked so we only have the joint account and it works too. I physically pay the bills. We have completely different ideas on spending money (he likes quality and doesn't mind paying for it and spending causes me anxiety) yet there's no friction. He makes the money so he spends it how he sees fit. He's never going to put his family in a bind so I don't worry about it. Separate or joint accounts don't make or break a marriage. That's kind of like blaming Facebook for divorces. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 9:20:42 AM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Three accounts. One for household expenses where the majority of the income is kept. We each have a separate account where a small, equal portion of the monthly income is deposited. The separate accounts may be spent in any manner without question. This has made for 16 years of happy so far. This.......main account for all bills/savings/whatnots and then we each have our no questions asked fun account. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 9:21:58 AM EDT
[#23]
We each have a checking account and credit card but only for the purpose of managing spending. I can access her account and vice versa. I never talk about money in any context other than "ours".
I think it's goofy when people get married but then maintain financial arrangements like they are dating. I guess different strokes, but I certainly don't understand the point of being married in the eyes of the law but just dating for all practical purposes. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 9:30:41 AM EDT
[#24]
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No one is being attacked. People can live their lives as they wish. They should not, however, fool themselves into believing they're in a fully committed relationship. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
This thread was not intended to allow for personal attacks on others. I want to get an Idea of how others handled finances in their household. I do find it strange and counter productive from a KISS standpoint but to each his own. If you want to attack someone for the way choose to manage their life, you can move along. No one is being attacked. People can live their lives as they wish. They should not, however, fool themselves into believing they're in a fully committed relationship. Not sure if serious or epically trolling. Let me guess you're one of those world is 6000 years old believers huh? Implying there is one best way for a marriage to function proves you are stupid. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 2:47:46 PM EDT
[#25]
both names on all accounts, we each have our own checking, a joint savings, and I have my own savings.
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Posted: 4/20/2015 5:29:39 PM EDT
[#26]
Quoted:
I have married friends who keep their money separate and some even to the extent that one does not know how much money the other has. I think it is counter productive for a marriage and seems to point toward someone being unsure about the solidity of the relationship. What does ARFCOM think? Poll inbound. Separate accounts and still on solid ground 14 years later.... not a single fight about money ever. Wouldn't have it any other way. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 5:34:42 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Separate accounts and still on solid ground 14 years later.... not a single fight about money ever. Wouldn't have it any other way. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I have married friends who keep their money separate and some even to the extent that one does not know how much money the other has. I think it is counter productive for a marriage and seems to point toward someone being unsure about the solidity of the relationship. What does ARFCOM think? Poll inbound. Separate accounts and still on solid ground 14 years later.... not a single fight about money ever. Wouldn't have it any other way. Same for me except we've been married 15 years and together 20. I guess it's just not working out. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 6:01:23 PM EDT
[#28]
Quoted:
I have married friends who keep their money separate and some even to the extent that one does not know how much money the other has. I think it is counter productive for a marriage and seems to point toward someone being unsure about the solidity of the relationship. What does ARFCOM think? Poll inbound. Really? I'm 43 years old and every single couple I have ever known, including my parents, fight over money. Read any list of "top marriage problems" and money is going to be on there. I was with my last wife for 17 years. We never once fought over money, never. I had my checking account and she had hers. We split everything down the middle and it was nice and easy. After that do whatever you want. As long as I had the money left over I could buy whatever I wanted without asking permission or causing a fight. Same for her. She was a shopaholic and a hoarder. I may have thought spending $200 on one pair of blinged out Buckle jeans was fucking stupid but it was her money. I'll go spend my $200 on an RC airplane. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 7:24:40 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Married with two radically different incomes and spending habits, so separate finances work for us. I pay all the house and car-related expenses and buy almost everything we need at Costco, she pays her student loans and whatever we needs from Target or the grocery store. We discuss any big purchase she's making and do a deep-dive on her accounts every few months because she's made some big financial mistakes in the past, she has a general idea of how much I have but isn't interested in knowing more. Kharn When i met my wife and we got serious i pulled her credit and it was like 390ish if i recall correctly. I asked her why she didnt pay her bills bc i saw her tax returns and knew she made money. "Bills are depressing so i dont open them". 
She was dead serious. When we moved in together i literally found a box with like 4 or 500 unopened bills and statements. Sometimes i feel like im babysitting a 12 year old. At one point i told her we would have a monthly budget meeting to review the numbers. Seemed like a logical idea to me. Blank stare. She wanted nothing to do with it. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 7:29:06 PM EDT
[#30]
we have a savings account and a checking account (ignoring any other types of accounts)
we keep track of our own balances in the checking account and do a monthly reconcile. for instance, we have $1,000.00 in checking. My checkbook has a balance of $350.00 and hers has $650.00, for a total of $1,000.00 when my balance goes low, we either transfer money out of savings, or she 'transfers' some of the money in her book to mine (or vice versa) this works great and we have never had any problems... |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 7:33:45 PM EDT
[#31]
I'm divorced, but neither the ex-wife or I smoked dope, so we didn't put any money in a joint account.
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Posted: 4/20/2015 7:37:23 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Combine it or don't be married. If you're married and keep it all separated, you probably won't stay married long. Ask me how I know. 22 years and we've never had a joint account. I wouldn't think of doing it any other way. We each keep our own money, with the agreement that each is responsible for certain financial obligations (I pay bills and major repairs, wife pays for food, household stuff, incidentals), each of us contribute into a savings that's used for major purchases or vacations, and we keep the rest for ourselves. It works for us, requires the same discipline and trust as a joint account (if we fail to do what we're supposed to, or lie about our money, it still creates the same problems). I don't understand all the high & mighty in this thread, it's a subjective and personal decision that's ultimately just personal choice for how you prefer to handle things. I guess we're not all cut of the same cloth. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 8:18:44 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I have been married so long I don't even know when my pay weeks are. The bills are paid on time and if I want to buy something I ask if we have the spare money, she either says yes no or is it a gun? This times 1000 |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 8:32:54 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
This times 1000 Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I have been married so long I don't even know when my pay weeks are. The bills are paid on time and if I want to buy something I ask if we have the spare money, she either says yes no or is it a gun? This times 1000 What's really bizarre is that I pay the bills but never see the account. He sees the account but never pays the bills.
We're so backwards but somehow it works. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 8:34:04 PM EDT
[#35]
Poll fail, no joint account and account she doesn't know about.
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Posted: 4/20/2015 8:45:08 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Really? I'm 43 years old and every single couple I have ever known, including my parents, fight over money. Read any list of "top marriage problems" and money is going to be on there. I was with my last wife for 17 years. We never once fought over money, never. I had my checking account and she had hers. We split everything down the middle and it was nice and easy. After that do whatever you want. As long as I had the money left over I could buy whatever I wanted without asking permission or causing a fight. Same for her. She was a shopaholic and a hoarder. I may have thought spending $200 on one pair of blinged out Buckle jeans was fucking stupid but it was her money. I'll go spend my $200 on an RC airplane. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I have married friends who keep their money separate and some even to the extent that one does not know how much money the other has. I think it is counter productive for a marriage and seems to point toward someone being unsure about the solidity of the relationship. What does ARFCOM think? Poll inbound. Really? I'm 43 years old and every single couple I have ever known, including my parents, fight over money. Read any list of "top marriage problems" and money is going to be on there. I was with my last wife for 17 years. We never once fought over money, never. I had my checking account and she had hers. We split everything down the middle and it was nice and easy. After that do whatever you want. As long as I had the money left over I could buy whatever I wanted without asking permission or causing a fight. Same for her. She was a shopaholic and a hoarder. I may have thought spending $200 on one pair of blinged out Buckle jeans was fucking stupid but it was her money. I'll go spend my $200 on an RC airplane. I am reading allot of posts regarding splitting up the finances and accts. It has been so long since I felt I needed my own personal account that it just doesn't make business sense in a savings way to not have things combined so the savings can be gauged and spending altered accordingly. My mentality is money is spent on us as a family and savings for retirement and big purchases is also a family affair. When I spend, I have to ask is this good for the family and usually decide to save the money instead. If I had a separate act just for spending, I don't think I would save as much as we do now. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 8:49:01 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Joint, wtf is the point otherwise? Separate is much better. As long as the bills are paid, I can buy whatever I want. If it was together I wouldn't have half of my guns.
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Posted: 4/20/2015 8:51:47 PM EDT
[#38]
We tried both ways and went back to separate. We each pay certain bills each month and split other things like car insurance. If two people use the same account it can be too hard to keep up with. My wife does have a debit card for my checking account to buy stuff with since I am the primary earner but I don't have a card to hers. I use her card if I need to. It is very hard to get my wife to give me all the receipts when she uses my acct but she is a lot better about it than she used to be. It just boils down to whatever works.
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Posted: 4/20/2015 8:55:50 PM EDT
[#39]
My wife is horrible with money and when she gets depressed she binge shops until she's broke. She literally runs about a $0.50 balance in her account at any given moment past about a week from payday. She will spend every dollar she has. I refuse to put her on my account, and she understands and is okay with that because she knows she has a problem, and knows that when shit happens I have money saved up to pay for it. As well as vacations and other major purchases she'd never get to enjoy if it was up to her to save money.
I made clear before we ever got married that i'd never put myself into a position where I had to ask permission to spend my own money. If bills are paid and we have a healthy emergency fund, I shouldn't have to ask permission to buy something with money I earned. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 9:05:09 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
if you want to keep seperate accounts you might as well just get divorced now. its not going to work. to make a marriage work you need to be on the same page with money. that means knowing how much you have and where its going. if you cant agree on that its not going to last. 50% of first marriages end in divorce and around 70% of second marriages. the two main reasons are infidelity and money problems. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I have married friends who keep their money separate and some even to the extent that one does not know how much money the other has. I think it is counter productive for a marriage and seems to point toward someone being unsure about the solidity of the relationship. What does ARFCOM think? Poll inbound. if you want to keep seperate accounts you might as well just get divorced now. its not going to work. to make a marriage work you need to be on the same page with money. that means knowing how much you have and where its going. if you cant agree on that its not going to last. 50% of first marriages end in divorce and around 70% of second marriages. the two main reasons are infidelity and money problems. I disagree. 100%. In my experience, having separate accounts means we have to communicate about money, and trust each other......and we both know we want to be here, rather than feel stuck together. But that's just us. Been working for a while now. And we aren't even married......but we've been together for 7 years now, and I'll never give up my personal accounts. I'll have a joint account for bills and couple expenses, but my "discretionary funds" are mine, hers' are hers. Spend them how we want. This assumes that you have an agreed upon % of income that goes directly to savings, the bills get paid first and the rest goes to "discretionary." No way to lord over your partner with money, no needing to feel trapped. No worrying about over-drafts. It's more efficient, it's cheaper, and we don't fight about money. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 9:18:11 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I trust my neighbor will mow his grass, just as he trusts I will mow mine. We both benefit by maintaining our homes in good order, but we are not committed to each other. So you decide to co-habitate while maintaining separate lives. You might want to ask yourself, why are you so afraid of truly committing to your spouse. Perhaps you see some warning signs that are triggering your desire for self-preservation, so you're maintaining your own finances for a quick escape. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Perhaps what you need is a leap of faith. Put your money into her account. Trust her. Quit being selfish. We do trust each other. She trusts me to handle my financial responsibilities just as I trust her to handle hers. I said that already. Sorry that you can't understand that. I say we agree to disagree. Good day, sir. I trust my neighbor will mow his grass, just as he trusts I will mow mine. We both benefit by maintaining our homes in good order, but we are not committed to each other. So you decide to co-habitate while maintaining separate lives. You might want to ask yourself, why are you so afraid of truly committing to your spouse. Perhaps you see some warning signs that are triggering your desire for self-preservation, so you're maintaining your own finances for a quick escape. It's not really becoming to go and tell someone how to live life. Especially after they told you "no thanks" in regards to your advice. To continue the attack, is uncouth. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 9:22:33 PM EDT
[#42]
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I won't judge, but if you don't have all your money in a joint account with your wife, you don't love her. And she doesn't love you either. You are wrong. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 9:24:29 PM EDT
[#43]
One missing from the poll:
What is mine is ours.What is hers is hers. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 9:24:33 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You are wrong. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I won't judge, but if you don't have all your money in a joint account with your wife, you don't love her. And she doesn't love you either. You are wrong. Yep. I love my wife to death, but it's simply not practical giving her full access to all of the money we make, or we'd be happy together but living in a fucking cardboard box. |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 9:33:41 PM EDT
[#45]
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Yep. I love my wife to death, but it's simply not practical giving her full access to all of the money we make, or we'd be happy together but living in a fucking cardboard box. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
I won't judge, but if you don't have all your money in a joint account with your wife, you don't love her. And she doesn't love you either. You are wrong. Yep. I love my wife to death, but it's simply not practical giving her full access to all of the money we make, or we'd be happy together but living in a fucking cardboard box. Luckily, my SO is the "saver" between the two of us (a first for me). But it sounds like she accepts that she's got a spending problem (which is good). |
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Posted: 4/20/2015 11:50:18 PM EDT
[#46]
At least four or five times in this thread I read,
..."You might as well get divorced right now....." I've never heard such immature bullshit in my life. The answers in this thread are ridiculous. No two couples are the same. Some men can't manage money. Some women can. Some women can't manage money. Some men can. Each couple, if they're any good, works out what works for THEM. But according to arfcom, it has to be a certain way or 
Jesus. Thank God some of you are not in charge of the button that means the end of the world. Our nearly 28 years together must mean nothing. We should just take it all back now. Jesus. 
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Posted: 4/20/2015 11:58:03 PM EDT
[#47]
we talk about what we want as a family. Its our money.
I work, She's a stay-at-home-mom. discretionary-spending-wise: Every once in a while, she buys a little something for herself. Every once in a while, I buy a little something for the safe. It works out. I'd rather have it this way than feel like two separate individuals. Its kind of.... Intimiate? |
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Posted: 4/21/2015 12:28:38 AM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
22 years and we've never had a joint account. I wouldn't think of doing it any other way. We each keep our own money, with the agreement that each is responsible for certain financial obligations (I pay bills and major repairs, wife pays for food, household stuff, incidentals), each of us contribute into a savings that's used for major purchases or vacations, and we keep the rest for ourselves. It works for us, requires the same discipline and trust as a joint account (if we fail to do what we're supposed to, or lie about our money, it still creates the same problems). I don't understand all the high & mighty in this thread, it's a subjective and personal decision that's ultimately just personal choice for how you prefer to handle things. I guess we're not all cut of the same cloth. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Combine it or don't be married. If you're married and keep it all separated, you probably won't stay married long. Ask me how I know. 22 years and we've never had a joint account. I wouldn't think of doing it any other way. We each keep our own money, with the agreement that each is responsible for certain financial obligations (I pay bills and major repairs, wife pays for food, household stuff, incidentals), each of us contribute into a savings that's used for major purchases or vacations, and we keep the rest for ourselves. It works for us, requires the same discipline and trust as a joint account (if we fail to do what we're supposed to, or lie about our money, it still creates the same problems). I don't understand all the high & mighty in this thread, it's a subjective and personal decision that's ultimately just personal choice for how you prefer to handle things. I guess we're not all cut of the same cloth. I would not have guess you could do this and have kids. Having my son really changed everything for us. We used to have 3 accounts. If it can work for you whos anyone to knock it. |
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Posted: 4/21/2015 12:46:08 AM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
When I worked I had my own account that I used to pay my car note, gas, clothes, daycare, etc. He paid the regular bills out of the joint account and I'd use it for groceries. Separate money worked for us for 10 years. It's been about another 10 years since I've worked so we only have the joint account and it works too. I physically pay the bills. We have completely different ideas on spending money (he likes quality and doesn't mind paying for it and spending causes me anxiety) yet there's no friction. He makes the money so he spends it how he sees fit. He's never going to put his family in a bind so I don't worry about it. Separate or joint accounts don't make or break a marriage. That's kind of like blaming Facebook for divorces. I like you. You have common sense. 
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Posted: 4/21/2015 12:50:35 AM EDT
[#50]
I have my back acct she has hers. Works for us
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