User Panel
Posted: 4/19/2015 12:46:32 PM EDT
I have married friends who keep their money separate and some even to the extent that one does not know how much money the other has. I think it is counter productive for a marriage and seems to point toward someone being unsure about the solidity of the relationship. What does ARFCOM think? Poll inbound.
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My wife doesn't work, so there's nothing to separate. Plus, since my wife doesnt work, there's nothing to separate.
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Joint. I do have a separate account that she can't access, that I use for gun money. She knows about that account and dosent care that her name isn't on it.
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Been married going on 20 yrs. Wife and I have never had joint accounts, it just seemed like a hassle and heard too many horror stories of one spouse or the other thinking there was money in an account to write a check, that the other just spent. To me, if you don't trust your spouse enough that you have to know every fucking thing they do every minute of the day, you have a problem. My wife just started working again after 16 yrs. I know a ballpark amount of what's in her account. If I needed some of it, I would let her know, vice versa. Also prevents identity thieves from draining everything you have if one person gets hacked.
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We have something like five different checking accounts. The Mrs manages all of them.
<----makes all the money. |
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Combine it or don't be married. If you're married and keep it all separated, you probably won't stay married long. Ask me how I know.
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Multiple accounts, all accessed on the banks site by either of us for transfers or whatnot by either of us, minimums to be maintained in each for automatic payments, but she has one for day to day stuff, as do I.
Havent bounced a check or had an overdraft on years. |
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Joint. If we can't share money and financial responsibilities we can't share anything else.
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Joint, except for investments i had before that were in my name
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Three accounts. One for household expenses where the majority of the income is kept. We each have a separate account where a small, equal portion of the monthly income is deposited. The separate accounts may be spent in any manner without question.
This has made for 16 years of happy so far. |
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Quoted:
Joint. If we can't share money and financial responsibilities we can't share anything else. View Quote ..and this is what so many here will fail to understand. All the while calling you silly for not having separate accounts based on their poor decision making processes in regards to a partner. |
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we have separate accounts.
I pay all bills from the house. she write a check to the private school our son goes to and can spend or save her check without me interfering. ( UNLESS- she asks me for money) |
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We have 4 joint accounts set up for different purposes. But both of our money is mixed in them all. Bills, toys, vacations and savings. Well we just started another savings for our baby that'll be born next month sometime. We both have complete trust in each others money management skills and are on the same page as far as spending goes.
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We both worked and were pretty responsible money wise before we got married. When we married we just kept our separate accounts. We split up the recurring bills so we each paid something monthly. We plan for large purchases and have some savings for emergencies. If I want something I buy it, if she wants something she buys it. No fights about money ever.
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Trust. Both parties need to have it for a marriage to work well. If either of you don't trust the other or want to keep secrets the marriage is a likely fail.
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My wife & I have had a joint savings and checking account since we got married in '98. I personally don't see the point of married folks having separate accounts but to each their own.
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Quoted:
Been married going on 20 yrs. Wife and I have never had joint accounts, it just seemed like a hassle and heard too many horror stories of one spouse or the other thinking there was money in an account to write a check, that the other just spent. To me, if you don't trust your spouse enough that you have to know every fucking thing they do every minute of the day, you have a problem. My wife just started working again after 16 yrs. I know a ballpark amount of what's in her account. If I needed some of it, I would let her know, vice versa. Also prevents identity thieves from draining everything you have if one person gets hacked. View Quote This plus 1. My ex and I ran into that all the fucking time. The worst was when I went to Basic and the overdrew the checking account to the tune of $1500. I did not find out until I went to withdraw $5 from the ATM to get a haircut. I STILL, to this day, get phone calls from collections agencies about that account, even though it was closed by the bank AFTER our divorce was final 9 years ago, and all the debt on it at that point was solely hers. Yeah, yeah...it was a joint account, but she was supposed to go to the bank, close it, and open one in her own name. The bank was even going to make a special dispensation for her, as her credit rating was so bad by that time that she normally would not be able to open an account with them. I just tell the creditors to call her when they call me, as it is not even on my credit report anymore. The current wife and I have separate accounts, with one joint account. My paycheck goes into my account, her paycheck goes into her account. I have the USAA set up so that I can review all of the accounts and xfer money between them at need. I pay the household bills out of my account, she buys groceries and takes care of household supplies out of her account. |
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Joint.
I don't even know what i make until January of the next year. |
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It is hard for me to wrap my head around not having everything jointly accessible. We have multiple acts and such but no accounts are said to belong to one or the other. The sum of all acts it the sum of what we have together. We both discuss spending on large items and budget accordingly. I think the family as a whole is easier to manage and benefits more than if one or the other had to decide who spends how much when we take our son out to do things....Or who's paying when you go out to dinner.....
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Some friends of mine that are married have separate accounts. It's kind of awkward when we go out to eat and they bicker about who is going to pay. He'll say I paid last time or vice versa.
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My wife and I have joint checking and savings accounts, although I take care of all the bills, she is horrible managing money. If she needs something or the kids need something outside of our normal monthly expenses, she lets me know, and I plan or adjust accordingly. We both have a weekly cash allowance that is for anything we want to buy or use for any purpose. At the end of the week, the unspent funds either go back into the savings account or an envelope in the fridge. Has worked pretty well for us, and having some cash on hand for emergency expenses has been good, although my wife rarely, has anything leftover.
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We have a joint account we put money into every month to pay for joint expenses like rent, groceries, bills, etc. Other than that our money is our money, it works out well. No arguments about money.
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Some together and some apart for personal spending.
Nothing hidden from the other though. |
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We have Both,
Wife works, and I work. We have a joint account that pays the household expenses, mortgage, food, electricity, internet, fuel, occasional dinner out etc. Then we each have our own accounts to do with what we please. It does mean that the discretionary spend accounts we have we can be sure of the balance. Buying things like a new TV, one or other of us will pay for, depending on who wants it most. |
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Savings are together, checking is separate. Both our names are on all the accounts though
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Quoted:
Combine it or don't be married. If you're married and keep it all separated, you probably won't stay married long. Ask me how I know. View Quote Married over ten years. Have always had a joint account for bills and personal account and credit cards for personal things. I'm married, not owned. |
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We both still have our original accounts before we were married that are still our sole account.
Then we opened a joint account and have a percentage of our pay go into the joint account which is used to pay all the bills, CC, etc. |
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Quoted: We have Both, Wife works, and I work. We have a joint account that pays the household expenses, mortgage, food, electricity, internet, fuel, occasional dinner out etc. Then we each have our own accounts to do with what we please. It does mean that the discretionary spend accounts we have we can be sure of the balance. Buying things like a new TV, one or other of us will pay for, depending on who wants it most. View Quote This is how we do it. I don't care and she doesn't care what each other does with "our" portion of the money as long as our investment goals are met. |
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Together but at Two different banks. We both have access. She has a check book and I keep a backup credit card. We both can still see both and use both. But that way we each can "spend" some by ourselves yet keep it non secret.
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If I were ever to get married, It'd be both.
Together for together bills, separate for separate bills. The problem always seems to be when you view it as "our money" and one of you wants something the other one doesnt want, it leads to a conflict. After all the bills are paid, you have your money, I have mine, and we can spend it as we please. |
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Everything together. Why would you marry someone you can't trust with your money but still trust them to raise your kids, live in your house, drive you cars, etc? We talk to each other about any purchase over $50 that isn't a necessity (like gas or groceries) as well as spend a few minutes every few days to look at our bank account/bills and discuss where to allocate everything.
Doing this we have ample savings, only a mortgage and a car payment for debt and we're young. |
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i think the best set up isa joint account for normal expenses and separate accounts for fun money.
house hold bills are all taken care of and no arguments about spending too much on guns or shoes. I've had girls that would have left me default on my mortgage if we had a joint account and girls that would have reemed me a new asshole for buying a gun. Not married so haven't done a joint account with anyone but that's the setup i would do if married |
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Joint and we each get a monthly allowance to do as we see fit without the other person having input.
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all of our money is shared. The only money that is ever separate is retirement account stuff, and that is only separate because the IRS says it has to be.
Personally, I wouldn't marry anyone that I wasn't willing to share all my $ with. Maybe if I was 80 years old and got remarried at 75 I might keep things separate, I dunno...but for normal marriages everything should be shared. |
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joint bank accounts . . . but we each have a little private stash so not "all" . . . my stash is bigger but only because I know better how to grow a stash.
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Separate but no secrets and both names are on all accounts. Bills are paid with two checks in proportion to our respective earnings. Major purchases are discussed. For joint items we pay in proportion like with bills (I make 2x as much so I pay 2/3). Minor ones are not. Not having to account at all for purchases (say <$1000 and within your means) is important to some. I've been living this way with my wife since '92.
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Quoted:
Been married going on 20 yrs. Wife and I have never had joint accounts, it just seemed like a hassle and heard too many horror stories of one spouse or the other thinking there was money in an account to write a check, that the other just spent. To me, if you don't trust your spouse enough that you have to know every fucking thing they do every minute of the day, you have a problem. My wife just started working again after 16 yrs. I know a ballpark amount of what's in her account. If I needed some of it, I would let her know, vice versa. Also prevents identity thieves from draining everything you have if one person gets hacked. View Quote Same, married 15 yrs. |
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We have a joint account. Up until recently I was the only one working but she handles the finances and she's good at it. Even if I try to make her buy things for herself she won't. I hate that because I can't say "you bought all those shoes and got you hair done" to use as an excuse to buy a gun. lol
In all seriousness, I like OUR account and that she takes care of the bills. |
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Separate.
Tried the Joint thing early on and she couldn't control her spending. |
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Joint.
I can't imagine trying to put together an actual budget with separate accounts. |
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Joint savings but separate checking. Easier to keep up with that way. I have certain bills I pay and she does also. They end up about the same. My previous marriage was joint checking and I promised myself never again. Not that I wouldn't trust the wife now but it eliminates a lot of
conversation about $ Plus we have cash in the safe at all times if we need to pull from that. |
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I have six accounts she is on none. She was two and I am on one. I am only on it so I can direct deposit most of my check into her account. She pays everything but house and insurance. Works for us.
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Together. I fought it because I didn't want to do it but I do admit it works better for us.
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Take your time, get married for life and enjoy the benefits of working as a team.
My wife truly helped us become wealthy. Trust but verify is OK. |
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Joint. She's a lot better at handling the money than i am. Maybe better isn't the right term, but she's a lot more interested in it than I am, so I let her take care of it. If I want cash for toys, I get it, and the same with her.
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