I've written about her before. She disappeared for the winter. Now she's back.

My wife and I are the only year-round residents on a small peninsula. All the other houses are just seasonal cottages. So we have the peninsula to ourselves for about ten months every year. I have the keys to some cottages and keep an eye on things for the owners. I walk down the peninsula to the little lighthouse at the end every day with our three Great Danes. I'm conscientious about picking up poop, but sometimes I miss one, especially if it's dark.

Hippy Chick is living in her parent's cottage. She says that she can't work because she has Lyme disease, but that she's a "political activism volunteer". She doesn't speak to her father. She has no car. The cottage is winterized, so there's no water or septic. She buries her crap in the yard. She's tacked blankets over all the windows. As far as I can tell, she spends about twenty hours a day in the dark and stoned. I think that she's either mildly retarded, or that she's fried her brain with drugs.

She used to come over to our house to get water, but my wife is creeped out by her, so now she uses lake water.

She asks for rides all the time, to the grocery store or the dump. I have her sort her recyclables and I take them to the dump with ours. If I see her hitchhiking I give her a lift.

She frequently asks if we have any work she could do. I always tell her no.

She asked if she could go to church with us. I told her we were atheists.

I see smoke coming out of her chimney on chilly days, and I have no idea where she's getting firewood. I have a bit of a suspicion that she's stealing it from our pile.

Dog poop is her obsession. Whenever she finds any kind of a turd, she marks it with a little flag, then knocks on our door to tell me to go pick it up. She's trying to "train" me by doing it often and at inconvenient hours. At first I bent over backwards to indulge her. Then I started blowing her off until my next walk. Then I started putting little signs next to her little flags that said things like, "This tiny turd did not come out of a Great Dane's butt. It's probably from a raccoon."

She just knocked on our door to tell me about another turd, and said that I'm required to keep my dogs on a leash when I walk down the peninsula. I told her that, no, I'm required to have them "in control", and it can be verbal control, and besides, I'm one of the owners of the private road. I thought she was going to threaten to call the police, but she didn't go that far.

I try hard to stay on good terms with all my neighbors, but this one is a challenge. She doesn't seem to able to connect the dots when she asks us for favors and pisses us off at the same time.

What's orange and red and looks good on Hippies ?

Fire.

Is she hot?

Leave a turd on her doorstep.
If she buries her crap in the yard take pictures, call police.

Is she at least good looking?

She's got long gray hair, kind of mongoloid-looking, widely-spaced eyes, she chatters as long as you'll stand there listening, and she laughs at the end of every sentence. So a solid New Hampshire eight. Give me your number, I'll hook a brother up.

And unshaven?

Apparently not.

"no running water", "buries her poop in the yard"; she apparently smells like ass and has no viable means to wash her pussy and you wonder if she's hot?

Next time she asks for work tell her you need a pooper scooper.

Fuck her liberal hippie ass. Walk to the store, hippie.

Pics of hippie in question are necessary for a full eval.

SIIHHPAPP

Gotta love them hippies!!!

Hippies are great.

Hope springs enternal from the ARFCom GD horn dog. "Is she hot?" She lives in a house with no heat or water and puts signs on dog shit. Do you think she is hot bro?

Time to start filling choice logs with smoke bombs.

You sure shes not Gail the Snail?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lipI8KQjHU

Gorgeous. PM me your number and I'll pass it along.

I may have just solved my problem.

I can't stand smelly hippies.

this could be brilliant

This sounds good.

Like no one but us was wondering...

pics?

She poops in the yard I highly doubt she has a phone.

I changed it to smoke bombs.

Everyone on welfare has a phone. Your tax dollars at work.

just piss on her once.... you'll make a clean spot as well as assert dominance.

FIFY....


ETA..so as not to offend the hippy lovers of this board...by filling one with gunpowder I do not mean make a bomb out of it...loose gunpowder not packed!

She steals your firewood.

She complains about your dogs.

You take care of her garbage.

You give her rides.

Who is the alpha here?

Video record your woodpile. Once you inform her she's on tape stealing wood, you won't hear shit about shit.

I'm gonna go into town and call the police on you. Hey can you give me a ride? Oh and can you call the police on yourself, I won't pass a drug test and have warrants.

It sounds to me like an HOA is the answer to your solution.  That should do it.

I love the little signs indicating the turds are too small for Danes. That's awesome!

I love the firecracker idea too.

2 inch wood auger bit and some of those chalky sphere smoke bombs packed inside. Seal end with wood putty cover with bark. The colored smoke will be pouring out her chimney.

OK.....so she's a little "free range".   Let the man answer the question before jumping to conclusions!

Start flagging where she poops in her yard.

Serialized with number, date, time.

Dear Hippy Chick:

When I hear Lymes disease I first think mental health first.

I know someone who drilled a log and put an M-80 in it. Found the culprit pretty quick. Almost had the house burned down because the scumbag was using an airtight stove and the pressure blew out the glass and hot coals came flying out. Not to say the dirtbag didn't deserve it, but it almost ended very badly. This was many years ago on a very rural local level. Today? The guy who added the M-80 to the log would probably be in jail.
Not a good idea.

I cant stand people who think they need a bunch of dogs they cant clean up after and then someone calls them on it they marginalize that person by whatever they can come up with.

In for pics and the inevitable let down.

Unfortunately, I have to agree with  you.

It rates right up there with "migraine" headaches.

If the percentage of the population which claims these ailments actually suffered from them, they would not be called ailments, but the new norm.



 

I want to see what these flags look like.
Also pics of lighthouse and area? Please?


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I've always been told that you just can't trust a person with wide spaced eyes.

Stop doing things for her. Zero contact. When she comes up to you tell her that she needs to leave and that you don't want to interact with her.