How did a roll of Scotch tape end up around his d*ck in the first place?



His fate remains unknown.
I have intentionally NOT included a link to the full story because there is a full Johnson pic in the story (which kind of suprised me because the story ran in a relatively mainstream online new outlet - though not a major media outlet).



Those who search for the story are forewarned of the Johnson pic.

I got mine stuck in a toilet paper roll tube when I was like 12.

Puberty is weird

I have never had trouble finding a girl to bang.

...but the ensuing drama makes getting your whang stuck in a roll of tape almost seems preferential.

A scotch tape plastic ring...

The only solution is to cut it off ASAP before you lose your dick.

Apparently, nurses will use a ice cold spoon when they need to subside an erection.

That's fantastic.  The smiley face he drew on it for the paramedics.  

Got mine stuck in the bore of a 120 mm cannon.

A Scotch tape roll?  As in the roll that fits a dispenser that would sit on your desk?  That's 1" diameter, I just measured the one on my desk.  WTF was he thinking putting that on his dick?





It sounds to me like you owe us a story?

"I put it on when I was bored and a girl started sending pictues of her feet"




Well, i now know who the guy in the pic is after reading the above quote.

Ya, ya. We know it was you OP!!

That's more humane than some of the Hitlery- Pelosi-Feinstein pics that assholes post on here, though likely not as effective.

It looks odd without a hat.



 

You'd be surprised what people who come into the ER have put on their dicks or put in their bottoms.

1.  Probably not.

2.  Don't surprise me.



 

All the guy needs to do is look at pictures of Rosie O'Donnell and Nancy Pelosi. If that doesn't do it, Michele Obama will for sure.

Reminds me of the guy who got his stuck in a Jacuzzi spa jet, and the fire department had to come rescue him.

I believe that is a violation of the Geneva Convention.



 

"sad imprisoned dick"

I am SO saving that to inject into casual conversation later.

Is the RFO site still around?

3.  Don't wanna know.

No, I wouldn't.

ETA: Deleted video. May be against CoC even though its on YouTube.


Google "Out Cold Jacuzzi scene"





 

I'm not allowed to be alone with a pringles can anymore.

That sounds like a voice of experience.....

Not much surprises me anymore.

What's funnier is all the guys that started posting pics of chick's feet in his thread.

I must have missed it.

Google a sentence from the OP. It's not hard to find the article, or the original (now archived) 4chan thread.

The gas company was laying a new 48" gas line in our front yard when I was a kid.  Got mine stuck in that.

87% of GD just ran out to buy rolls of tape.

In for the sick Feinstein pics.

Affirmative.  
Seems the poorer the area, the more interesting the item the prostitute has "acquired".

Its on Gawker.



 

Oh, I saw that article. I thought you were talking about our Arfcommer.

First story in search is Gawker, with dick picks.

You wuz warned.



 

That was awesome.

When I was about 14 or so I was at the ER. I had to get stitches for a cut.  In the next bed seperation only by a curtain was an very drunk woman and her male companion equally drunk. She had a Gennesse Cream Ale bottle in her cooch. These are small and only 7 ounces.

They were messing around with a beer bottle as a dildo. He had inserted it too far and the muscles at the opening closed up on it. The interns were coming into my area to stifle the laughter and not let the attending doctor see them laughing.

They drilled a hole in the base of the bottle and pulled it out. Breaking the suction seemed to allow it to be withdrawn from her cooch.

It was something no 14 year old needed to witness.

sounds like he fucked himself.

drill a hole in glass in that area

Op said wang, and reminded me of this.

No, he fucked a roll of tape.  Try and keep up...  

We might be surprised if you go into detail.

I found the cure

I've got a kinky mind.. but 12 days into my medical career the perverts and weirdo's showed me abnormal behavior.

I rest my case.

someone advised him to stop thinking about sucking dicks for a few minutes.  lmao.
 



Holy shit! that's fucking genius!

This physician's report is an all-time classic. Be prepared to cringe while tightly crossing your legs.



Scrotum Self-Repair via William A. Morton, Jr., M.D.

"One morning I was called to the emergency room by the head ER nurse.  She
directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other
than to say that he "needed a doctor who took care of men's troubles."

"The patient, about 40, was pale, febrile, and obviously uncomfortable, and
had little to say as he gingerly opened his trousers to expose a bit of
angry red and black-and-blue scrotal skin.  After I asked the nurse to
leave us, the patient permitted me to remove his trousers, shorts, and two
or three yards of foul-smelling stained gauze wrapped about his scrotum,
which was swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit and extremely tender.

"A jagged zig-zag laceration, oozing pus and blood, extended down the left
scrotum.  Amid the matted hair, edematous skin, and various exudates, I saw
some half-buried dark linear objects and asked the patient what they
were.  Several days earlier, he said, he had injured himself in
the machine shop where he worked, and had closed the laceration himself
with a heavy-duty stapling gun.  The dark objects were one-inch staples of
the type used in putting up wallboard.

"We x-rayed the patient's scrotum to locate the staples; admitted him to the
hospital; and gave him tetanus antitoxin, broad-spectrum antibacterial
therapy, and hexachlorophene sitz baths prior to surgery the next morning.
The procedure consisted of exploration and debridement of the left side of
the scrotal pouch.  Eight rusty staples were retrieved, and the skin edges
were trimmed and freshened.  The left testis had been avulsed and was missing.

"The stump of the spermatic cord was recovered at the inguinal canal, debrided,
and the vessels ligated properly, though not much of a hematoma was present.
Through-and-through Penrose drains were sutured loosely in site, and the
skin was loosely closed.  Convalescence was uneventful, and before his
release from the hospital less than a week later, the patient confided
the rest of his story to me.

"An unmarried loner, he usually didn't leave the machine shop at lunch time
with his coworkers.  Finding himself alone, he had begun the regular practice
of masturbating by holding his penis against the canvas drive-belt of a large
floor-based piece of machinery.  One day, as he approached orgasm, he lost
his concentration and leaned too close to the belt.  When his scrotum became
caught between the pulley-wheel and the drive-belt, he was thrown into the
air and landed a few feet away.  Unaware that he had lost his left testis,
and perhaps too stunned to feel much pain, he stapled the wound closed and
resumed work.  I can only assume he abandoned this method of self-
gratification."

[William A. Morton is a retired urologist residing in West Chester,
Pennsylvania.]

A pair of dykes could get it off