User Panel
User Panel
User Panel
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 10:59:25 PM EDT
[#1]
Isn't that the whole reason why adoption is so expensive and difficult? To make sure the people who adopt can support and care?
|
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:00:17 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Isn't that the whole reason why adoption is so expensive and difficult? To make sure the people who adopt can support and care? THAT'S what I was thinking. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:00:19 PM EDT
[#3]
You can't always get what you want.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:06:52 PM EDT
[#4]
I think it's one of the few unquestionably good reasons to ask for donations.
I don't understand GD sometimes. They'll spend $43 on a bag of dicks but question someone who wants donations to give a child a better life. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:19:29 PM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Isn't that the whole reason why adoption is so expensive and difficult? To make sure the people who adopt can support and care? So by that logic, nobody should have a child unless & until they can drop at least $40,000? Um-hmm...that makes sense. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:20:41 PM EDT
[#6]
We adopted both our kids though the county. It cost $0.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:21:09 PM EDT
[#7]
why you hate bring my people over for free?
|
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:23:16 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted: THAT'S what I was thinking. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Isn't that the whole reason why adoption is so expensive and difficult? To make sure the people who adopt can support and care? THAT'S what I was thinking. What if the church group or community bankrolls the adoption? Does that make the family qualify? My QC guy at work has two Ethiopian kids, along with his 3 biological kids. They're a single income family ($46k), $1000 mortgage etc. I understand budgeting is everything, but they're running it tight. Too tight for comfort if you ask me.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:23:36 PM EDT
[#9]
hey, they're welcome to ask for whatever they want, and I'm welcome to say NO. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:24:38 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
So by that logic, nobody should have a child unless & until they can drop at least $40,000? Um-hmm...that makes sense. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Isn't that the whole reason why adoption is so expensive and difficult? To make sure the people who adopt can support and care? So by that logic, nobody should have a child unless & until they can drop at least $40,000? Um-hmm...that makes sense. Well...I mean, it isn't a terrible plan, but no one says you can't have your own child, just that if you adopt one from certain agencies, THEY think you should be able to support them before they adopt. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:24:44 PM EDT
[#11]
There are countless kids in the U.S. right now that need adoptive homes and the state will actually pay you, but nooooooo, we want an exotic model like Brangelina got.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:26:55 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted: So by that logic, nobody should have a child unless & until they can drop at least $40,000? Um-hmm...that makes sense. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Isn't that the whole reason why adoption is so expensive and difficult? To make sure the people who adopt can support and care? So by that logic, nobody should have a child unless & until they can drop at least $40,000? Um-hmm...that makes sense. I don't think it should be a law, but I'd say that's a good rule of thumb.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:28:28 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
There are countless kids in the U.S. right now that need adoptive homes and the state will actually pay you, but nooooooo, we want an exotic model like Brangelina got. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:28:52 PM EDT
[#14]
Then they have no business owning a child...
|
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:29:09 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
There are countless kids in the U.S. right now that need adoptive homes and the state will actually pay you, but nooooooo, we want an exotic model like Brangelina got. Not a fair criticism. Some friends of ours just went through this. It's actually easier and cheaper to internationally adopt than it is domestically. 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:31:12 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Not a fair criticism. Some friends of ours just went through this. It's actually easier and cheaper to internationally adopt than it is domestically. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
There are countless kids in the U.S. right now that need adoptive homes and the state will actually pay you, but nooooooo, we want an exotic model like Brangelina got. Not a fair criticism. Some friends of ours just went through this. It's actually easier and cheaper to internationally adopt than it is domestically. No, it's not. That's utter bullshit. My wife specializes in matching up potential adoptive parents with domestic children who need homes. She's had kids adopted from a few weeks old up to 16 years, in several states. The state pays for everything, including a lawyer, some states pay the family monthly based on the child's needs and and in some the kid gets free tuition at any state university when they graduate from high school. None that I'm aware of cost more than an international adoption. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:31:30 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
We adopted both our kids though the county. It cost $0. But it costs 40K+ to be picky. 
The adoption farms they have in CA (I'm sure other states have them too) usually costs a couple around 75K. They are one of those places where a woman spits a kid out pretty much into the adoptive mother's arms. IMHO it's nothing more than buying a kid....I've no issue with that. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:36:43 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
No, it's not. That's utter bullshit. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
There are countless kids in the U.S. right now that need adoptive homes and the state will actually pay you, but nooooooo, we want an exotic model like Brangelina got. Not a fair criticism. Some friends of ours just went through this. It's actually easier and cheaper to internationally adopt than it is domestically. No, it's not. That's utter bullshit. It actually depends alot on the state laws. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:42:13 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
There are countless kids in the U.S. right now that need adoptive homes and the state will actually pay you, but nooooooo, we want an exotic model like Brangelina got. This. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:42:28 PM EDT
[#20]
It's likely that the people in question can afford to raise a child but do not have tens of thousands of dollars just lying around to pay for the adoption process shake downs, travel, time off of work, etc.
Adoptions are needlessly expensive, often running into the tens of thousands of dollars, and every mother fucker in the system gets a piece of that loot. The adoption agency staff, the government, every body has their hands in that cookie jar. Where else do you see a social worker driving 7 series BMW? But people need to understand that the cost of adoption is much different than the cost of raising a child. There are plenty of people out there who are financially secure enough to responsibly raise a child but can't afford to pay the exorbitant adoption fees, travel expenses, etc., involved with adoption. It's like there's a multiple thousand dollar membership fee to get into the adoptive parents club, and only then, after your checks clear, can you start worrying about providing for your adopted child's current and future needs. Shit, I wish all of the money we spent lining pockets when we adopted was sitting in my daughter's college fund... it would easily pay for an Associate's degree. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:45:31 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I think it's one of the few unquestionably good reasons to ask for donations. I don't understand GD sometimes. They'll spend $43 on a bag of dicks but question someone who wants donations to give a child a better life. they could be foster parents instead |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:45:43 PM EDT
[#22]
I'd agree, if you can't afford them, you shouldn't have them.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:47:58 PM EDT
[#23]
I suppose it would depend on the situation. As an adoptee (age 12 after being in foster care for four years) myownself, I've got opinions both ways.
I don't think it cost my mom anything to adopt me. I had been fostered with her for three years prior to anyway, so the state was already paying her for my care. She actually adopted three of us together, so I highly doubt she dropped $120K to do so, especially with three kids of her own already. She didn't adopt to make herself feel better, she did it to help some needy kids have a better life. And she succeeded in spades. She's my hero. It's very difficult for me, knowing what the state of American orphans is like, to see foreign adoption as anything but a vanity issue. Granted that's a very broad brush and I'll even stipulate that there are probably some selfless folks who choose to go that route for various reasons, but none of them are known to me. My only personal contacts have been with snooty people who just want a baby, and that's the fastest and easiest option to get one. Of course it's not fair to judge all by some, but it's been ubiquitous in my experience. Yes, a lot (LOT) of kids in foster care are deeply troubled. We come with baggage. We take more work. Even those of us who manage to have stayed out of trouble have problems that need additional care. Those are the kids that need homes, and the people willing to take them in deserve to ask for some help in doing so. Fact is, dropping $40K on a baby (for vanity or otherwise), is a luxury. And it seems to me that people who ask for donations to indulge in personal luxuries ought to be ashamed of themselves. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:49:07 PM EDT
[#24]
its fucking bullshit they charge so much for adoptions in the US. Lots of deserving parents out there and needy kids in foster care solely because of the expense
|
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:50:07 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
they could be foster parents instead Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I think it's one of the few unquestionably good reasons to ask for donations. I don't understand GD sometimes. They'll spend $43 on a bag of dicks but question someone who wants donations to give a child a better life. they could be foster parents instead The point is to have kids that are yours, not loaners. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:50:14 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I suppose it would depend on the situation. As an adoptee (age 12 after being in foster care for four years) myownself, I've got opinions both ways. I don't think it cost my mom anything to adopt me. I had been fostered with her for three years prior to anyway, so the state was already paying her for my care. She actually adopted three of us together, so I highly doubt she dropped $120K to do so, especially with three kids of her own already. She didn't adopt to make herself feel better, she did it to help some needy kids have a better life. And she succeeded in spades. She's my hero. It's very difficult for me, knowing what the state of American orphans is like, to see foreign adoption as anything but a vanity issue. Granted that's a very broad brush and I'll even stipulate that there are probably some selfless folks who choose to go that route for various reasons, but none of them are known to me. My only personal contacts have been with snooty people who just want a baby, and that's the fastest and easiest option to get one. Of course it's not fair to judge all by some, but it's been ubiquitous in my experience. Yes, a lot (LOT) of kids in foster care are deeply troubled. We come with baggage. We take more work. Even those of us who manage to have stayed out of trouble have problems that need additional care. Those are the kids that need homes, and the people willing to take them in deserve to ask for some help in doing so. Fact is, dropping $40K on a baby (for vanity or otherwise), is a luxury. And it seems to me that people who ask for donations to indulge in personal luxuries ought to be ashamed of themselves. Bravo, sir, to you and your mother. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:51:36 PM EDT
[#27]
What do you think of people begging for money to adopt a kid?
Not much |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:52:43 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
its fucking bullshit they charge so much for adoptions in the US. Lots of deserving parents out there and needy kids in foster care solely because of the expense It costs little to nothing to adopt foster kids. The expensive adoptions are the international ones or the parents who pay private agencies because they want a blonde haired blue eyed newborn. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:55:02 PM EDT
[#29]
I have a nephew who was adopted from Russia. IIRC, BIL and SIL had to take 18K IN CASH over there to get it done.
Here in the US, they were being refused because the BIL had cancer as a teen, but obviously had been cancer free since then. They still refused to allow them to adopt. I have also heard stories that many adoption agencies here in the US set the bar way too high, and it becomes too much of a hassle and takes to long to get through the process. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:58:04 PM EDT
[#30]
There is no fucking way I would pay 40 large to adopt a kid, fuck, I wouldn't 40 bucks
If theres a kid that needs a home, and I qualify to raise it, there should be no money needed to give an unwanted kid a home.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 1/28/2015 12:05:45 AM EDT
[#31]
Quoted:
Friend of mine is a grandma to a 10 year old girl adopted from overseas when she was a toddler. Kid's parents want another before the wife "gets too old." They can't afford a second adoption, and so are begging for money online. I believe you shouldn't be having kids if you can't afford them, and that goes for adoption, too. This couple wants $40K. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile A neighbor is doing the exact same thing in order to adopt a kid from China. I think it's more than a little odd. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/28/2015 12:08:12 AM EDT
[#32]
And what's to stop them from changing their minds getting the money? They might decide on a very nice cruise instead. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/28/2015 12:16:39 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
A neighbor is doing the exact same thing in order to adopt a kid from China. I think it's more than a little odd. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Friend of mine is a grandma to a 10 year old girl adopted from overseas when she was a toddler. Kid's parents want another before the wife "gets too old." They can't afford a second adoption, and so are begging for money online. I believe you shouldn't be having kids if you can't afford them, and that goes for adoption, too. This couple wants $40K. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile A neighbor is doing the exact same thing in order to adopt a kid from China. I think it's more than a little odd. Friend's granddaughter is from Asia. They want another from the same country. Frankly, I think they're being greedy. They already have the one child. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/28/2015 12:25:26 AM EDT
[#34]
I have mixed feelings on this.
As some have pointed out, you need to be able to afford to take care of a child before you adopt. However... My private uncontested adoption of my son ended up costing me $24,000 in various legal fees, court costs, mandated court requirements, home studies, etc. It dragged out for over a year and multiple court appearances. I don't know that I'd fault someone for maybe needing help. Not every middle class citizen has a spare $24,000 laying around, but there are plenty that afford their children. I cleaned out my M-16 fund to pay for our adoption. It was a good trade-off. ETA: Mine was a domestic adoption. ETA Again-- just because I love my little partner-in-crime: 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 1/28/2015 12:35:40 AM EDT
[#35]
Quoted:
Friend of mine is a grandma to a 10 year old girl adopted from overseas when she was a toddler. Kid's parents want another before the wife "gets too old." They can't afford a second adoption, and so are begging for money online. I believe you shouldn't be having kids if you can't afford them, and that goes for adoption, too. This couple wants $40K. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile The fees for adoption are absurd. People can afford to support another kid, but $40k on top of that is rough for most people. If the home is a good home I'd rather help a kid out... |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/28/2015 12:41:12 AM EDT
[#36]
Quoted:
Friend of mine is a grandma to a 10 year old girl adopted from overseas when she was a toddler. Kid's parents want another before the wife "gets too old." They can't afford a second adoption, and so are begging for money online. I believe you shouldn't be having kids if you can't afford them, and that goes for adoption, too. This couple wants $40K. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile I agree with you! 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 1/28/2015 12:47:58 AM EDT
[#37]
Depends on what type of people they are. If they are good people with good morals, work for a living, etc, and not of the FSA bunch then I really don't see a problem. If others want to give them money that's thier business.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 1/28/2015 2:04:30 AM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Friend's granddaughter is from Asia. They want another from the same country. Frankly, I think they're being greedy. They already have the one child. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Friend of mine is a grandma to a 10 year old girl adopted from overseas when she was a toddler. Kid's parents want another before the wife "gets too old." They can't afford a second adoption, and so are begging for money online. I believe you shouldn't be having kids if you can't afford them, and that goes for adoption, too. This couple wants $40K. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile A neighbor is doing the exact same thing in order to adopt a kid from China. I think it's more than a little odd. Friend's granddaughter is from Asia. They want another from the same country. Frankly, I think they're being greedy. They already have the one child. Like they are some sort of designer dolls? Or pieces of china from a certain pattern? And you can just order another on from the same set so they will "match"? So they are not just adopting to give a needy child a home, they want to adopt another one to give the current child a "matching" sibling. Vanity and / or PC BS run amuck. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/28/2015 2:09:56 AM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
So by that logic, nobody should have a child unless & until they can drop at least $40,000? Um-hmm...that makes sense. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Isn't that the whole reason why adoption is so expensive and difficult? To make sure the people who adopt can support and care? So by that logic, nobody should have a child unless & until they can drop at least $40,000? Um-hmm...that makes sense. It would fix a lot of problems. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/28/2015 2:21:16 AM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It would fix a lot of problems. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Isn't that the whole reason why adoption is so expensive and difficult? To make sure the people who adopt can support and care? So by that logic, nobody should have a child unless & until they can drop at least $40,000? Um-hmm...that makes sense. It would fix a lot of problems. And in the meantime, the FSA breeds like rabbits and taxpayers pay for them to do so.... I'd rather a conservative middle-class family be able to have the child that most ordinarily do and raise them with conservative values. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/28/2015 2:31:06 AM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I think it's one of the few unquestionably good reasons to ask for donations. I don't understand GD sometimes. They'll spend $43 on a bag of dicks but question someone who wants donations to give a child a better life. They are asking for donations to adopt. How much are they then going to have to ask for to "give the child a better life"? |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/28/2015 2:34:25 AM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
And in the meantime, the FSA breeds like rabbits and taxpayers pay for them to do so.... I'd rather a conservative middle-class family be able to have the child that most ordinarily do and raise them with conservative values. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Isn't that the whole reason why adoption is so expensive and difficult? To make sure the people who adopt can support and care? So by that logic, nobody should have a child unless & until they can drop at least $40,000? Um-hmm...that makes sense. It would fix a lot of problems. And in the meantime, the FSA breeds like rabbits and taxpayers pay for them to do so.... I'd rather a conservative middle-class family be able to have the child that most ordinarily do and raise them with conservative values. I was referring to the FSA breeding like rabbits. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/28/2015 2:39:20 AM EDT
[#43]
I hate to say this, and I am sure it comes off as elitist, but I generally have a low opinion of people who have or want kids that they can't afford to raise (and subsequently whine about it). Many people make sacrifices to make it work, but the whining when they have new cars, cable TV, internet access, and a smartphone garner no sympathy from me.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 1/28/2015 2:41:07 AM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Friend's granddaughter is from Asia. They want another from the same country. Frankly, I think they're being greedy. They already have the one child. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Friend of mine is a grandma to a 10 year old girl adopted from overseas when she was a toddler. Kid's parents want another before the wife "gets too old." They can't afford a second adoption, and so are begging for money online. I believe you shouldn't be having kids if you can't afford them, and that goes for adoption, too. This couple wants $40K. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile A neighbor is doing the exact same thing in order to adopt a kid from China. I think it's more than a little odd. Friend's granddaughter is from Asia. They want another from the same country. Frankly, I think they're being greedy. They already have the one child. That is an absolutely bizarre statement. You DO know how baby girls are treated in China, right? If they want to ask to be sponsored for the adoption fees, but they can afford the ongoing expenses, why not extend your love and your home to a child? The fact that you refer to this as "begging" says a lot more about your character than theirs, TBH |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/28/2015 2:41:22 AM EDT
[#45]
It used to take a village to raise a child. Now it takes a village to even have one. Inflation yo!!
I wouldn't give them a dime. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/28/2015 2:45:19 AM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I was referring to the FSA breeding like rabbits. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Isn't that the whole reason why adoption is so expensive and difficult? To make sure the people who adopt can support and care? So by that logic, nobody should have a child unless & until they can drop at least $40,000? Um-hmm...that makes sense. It would fix a lot of problems. And in the meantime, the FSA breeds like rabbits and taxpayers pay for them to do so.... I'd rather a conservative middle-class family be able to have the child that most ordinarily do and raise them with conservative values. I was referring to the FSA breeding like rabbits. Well, what I was getting at was that there are many middle-class families that probably do not have $40,000 or so in liquid assets outside of qualified accounts that they can lay their hands on to fund an adoption-- yet they would easily be able to provide a decent life for a child. I was able to fund the cost of mine at $24,000, but it wasn't easy. I don't think I could have swung $40K. Yet, my child has a wonderful life. That's what I was trying to get at. I do think that adoption should somehow be a more affordable process. My wife and I have accepted that we won't be able to adopt another child although we would love to have a girl. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/28/2015 2:45:30 AM EDT
[#47]
edit.
Ignore. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/28/2015 2:46:24 AM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted: There are countless kids in the U.S. right now that need adoptive homes and the state will actually pay you, but nooooooo, we want an exotic model like Brangelina got. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/28/2015 2:50:32 AM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Those are mostly older children who have been victims of neglect and abuse and who often have "issues" Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
There are countless kids in the U.S. right now that need adoptive homes and the state will actually pay you, but nooooooo, we want an exotic model like Brangelina got. Not to mention that adopting a child in the US has an exponentially higher chance of the birth mother changing her mind.. sometimes YEARS later. And getting the child back. |
|
|
|
Posted: 1/28/2015 2:50:35 AM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I do think that adoption should somehow be a more affordable process. My wife and I have accepted that we won't be able to adopt another child although we would love to have a girl. It is, if you adopt locally. As I posted earlier, we adopted both out kids through the county, and it cost us nothing.
|
|
|
Win a FREE Membership!
Sign up for the ARFCOM weekly newsletter and be entered to win a free ARFCOM membership. One new winner* is announced every week!
You will receive an email every Friday morning featuring the latest chatter from the hottest topics, breaking news surrounding legislation, as well as exclusive deals only available to ARFCOM email subscribers.
AR15.COM is the world's largest firearm community and is a gathering place for firearm enthusiasts of all types.
From hunters and military members, to competition shooters and general firearm enthusiasts, we welcome anyone who values and respects the way of the firearm.
Subscribe to our monthly Newsletter to receive firearm news, product discounts from your favorite Industry Partners, and more.
Copyright © 1996-2024 AR15.COM LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Any use of this content without express written consent is prohibited.
AR15.Com reserves the right to overwrite or replace any affiliate, commercial, or monetizable links, posted by users, with our own.
