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That is horrible. He needs to be kicked out. I would carry all the time around him if I were you. Be prepared to shoot him. I wouldn't tolerate someone getting in my wife's face and screaming. Just because he is muscled up doesn't actually mean he knows how to fight.

You need to talk to him when he is sober. Don't kick him out after he's been drinking or he'll just fly into another rage. You may actually have to shoot him then.

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Wow, I think you did just about everything wrong in that scenario.

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Drinking Fireball is pretty unforgivable all by itself.

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Drinking Fireball is pretty unforgivable all by itself.

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Your first mistake was allowing him to move in.

Your second will be allowing him to remain.

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Could not press charges for him breaking your stuff?  That's criminal trespass all day long.

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This will be a somewhat short reply as I'm on my phone back at the hospital. Had to leave at 6 to feed critters at home.

To address the most common question, no he will not be allowed back in our house aside from picking up his shit. Wife and I are unanimous on that. We're hoping he'll self admit to psych once he wakes up, he's still passed out. His only option today is to stay in the hospital. He has no transportation here and I will not take him back to our place. Period. We will go from there, but he will NOT be living with us.

As of 7 AM his BAC was still 0.177. Keep in mind his 0.27 last night was taken almost 4 hours after his last drink...

I can't respond to the individual posts that I'd like to on my phone, but for those that are critical of my actions, in many ways I agree with you. I can't justify some of my actions. I feel in most ways like I did the best I could given that I have NEVER dealt with someone behaving in that manner. It was truly terrifying.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts, prayers and support. We greatly appreciate it.

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You couldn't have him charged with property damage?

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You couldn't have him charged with property damage?

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Brief background: my wife's 21 year old brother has been living with us since last February. He moved down to get away after a shitty relationship and to try to get his head straightened out. He has had problems with alcohol and drugs in the past, but had gone through a 30 day rehab program and was supposed to be sober. Ha. Ha. Ha. He's been drinking heavily since he came down. There have been some periods where he actually stays sober, but he always goes back to the booze. As a side note, he does have a history of bar fights, and blacked out rages in the past.





Also, as a side note...he's been aiming to play pro baseball for years. He works out two or three times daily and is built like a brick shithouse. 6' 2" 200#.  He has also, for at least the last couple years, been using all manner and variety of prohormones and other workout supplements. He was feeling depressed recently and got some blood work done and his testosterone was around 90 and his estrogen around 142. The doctor put him on 460mg/week of testosterone replacement. I can't help but think this played into the following.





This brings us to last night. I had gone into town to mail a package at around 3:30 PM. Returned home about 4:30. Notice BIL's Jeep is missing. My wife tells me he got upset about something and "went for a drive". That's typically been code for "go for a booze run". He comes back and sits in his cad for about 20 minutes. We suspect, correctly so, that he was out there drinking before he came in.





Turns out he pounded two bottles of Fireball whiskey and then followed it up with 10 bottles of 6% beer. We realized this situation was going to be difficult by about 5 PM when, after only 1 beer he was slurring his speech badly and was obviously pretty drunk already. He decided to treat drinking these beers like a race. Less than 10 minutes per bottle.





Things continued fairly peacefully until probably 7 PM. He got started on his "woe is me, my life sucks" spiel and started getting all weepy and shit. At some point it started shifting to anger and then exploded very rapidly...





While my wife was out on the front porch talking to their mom about the situation at hand, he made his way out from his room where I was praying he would just pass out. No such luck. He went out to the porch as well, and not too long thereafter I hear him yelling loudly then hear banging and crashing. I immediately went to our bedroom and grabbed my S&W 645. By the time I got back to the front door things had escalated. He was rampaging around the porch throwing things and punching walls and what not. I opened the front door and my wife pushed inside and closed and locked it. I quickly went to the back and locked the back door.





This was about the time I first contemplated involving law enforcement. I should have listened to my instincts. He disappeared for a short time, less than 10 minutes. Then he reappeared at the front door and started banging and kicking at the door. I truly thought he was going to kick it in. My wife went to the door asking him to calm down and to take it down a notch or two, and he did, long enough to get back inside.





He started making trips to his room and throwing his clothes and crap out the front door onto the porch and lawn. In the process of this we can tell his rage is growing again. I went to the kitchen in between his trips and got our coats and shoes. We were getting ready to bug out. I went out the back with the dogs since our gate doesn't open and you have to hop the fence to get out, wife was going to meet me outside. She ended up in the living room with him while I was out front.





I admit, and I'm ashamed, that I stayed outside and listened instead of actually going in at that point. He was screaming at the top of his lungs. Then the crashes started. Turns out he demolished one of our tray tables and upended and destroyed our coffee table. Luckily, he never actually laid a hand on my wife, but he was apparently right up in her face screaming. My reason for staying outside was that I didn't want to startle him or trigger him to do something rash.





At this point, hearing the crashing and screaming I finally called 911. I told them we had a domestic disturbance, that my BIL who lived with us was very drunk and threatening violence. They dispatched a county sheriff immediately. Unfortunately, we're rural and response time ended up being about 12-15 minutes. We ended up locking ourselves in the tack room in one of the barns. I know I probably sound like a total coward here, but let me lay it out a bit clearer. I'm 6' 1" 150#. He's 6' 2" and probably 200# of solid muscle. I have never been in a physical fight in my 30 years, and this wasn't going to be my first. I also REALLY did NOT want to have to shoot my wife's brother...





Finally the deputy shows up and makes contact with her brother. He broke down crying sobbing again with the cop. The deputy comes over to us and starts discussing the situation. Because he never laid a hand on either of us, he could not arrest her brother. Nor could he make him leave for the night since this is his legal residence, despite him not being on the lease. The cop told me straight up, "until he hits either of you, I can't do anything". I was a bit taken aback by that, but OK fine, we figure we'll bug out to a hotel since he obviously can't drive.





Her brother apparently tells the cop he wants us to take him to the hospital. OK fine. Cop leaves, things stay peaceful, we get him to the hospital. Apparently he immediately started getting belligerent with the doctor and nurses. Shocking.





3.5 hours after he stopped drinking his BAC was 0.277...  He finally ended up falling asleep at some point. I came home at about 6 AM to get all the horses fed, wife is still there.  





I may not have conveyed everything in the best way, but I'm working on absolutely 0 sleep and am a bit fried after that. Honestly, I don't think I've ever been that scared in my life.





I know this is really long, if anything is unclear, just ask and I can clarify.

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Cop didn't do his job.
Should have hauled him off for disorderly conduct, property damage, and if he made any threats towards you or your wife assault.
He should have spent the night in detox at least.

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FPNI for sure

You grabbed a gun because a family member was pissed? I can't say I'd even consider that, not even remotely. You must've been pissing yourself to do that. That is in no way a hit on you. What I do mean is that if you thought you needed a gun is that maybe you need to work on something based on the fact that you felt you needed a gun. Imagine that amount of shit that would've followed had you shot someone for what? I'm just playing devil's advocate here. I don't know how many brawls I've been in because of drunken friends in and out of the army. I wasn't there though so that call was yours to make.

You know better than anyone your BIL has major problems. He'd be out after that. He's 21 and wants to play pro baseball? Did he play baseball in college or even high school? The only reason I'm mentioning this is to point out what you probably already know. That kid has his priorities all f'd up and needs to get himself straightened out. Do you and your wife a favor and get him out asap.

I almost forgot about the testosterone. If you believe that he actually got prescribed that....I'm not sure what to tell you. Outside of rare circumstances, a 21 year old does not get prescribed testosterone. Either way, that crap doesn't make people rage. The only people that think that are people that don't know anything about steroids. Now, if you are already prone to raging then yes it could do that. Normally however, if you are a calm person, you will remain that kind of person with a calm demeanour.

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Throw his shit on the lawn, break contact and never let him back. No exceptions. Ever.

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Your first mistake was allowing him to move in.

Your second will be allowing him to remain.