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Posted: 11/26/2014 6:54:29 PM EDT
[#1]
Don't know whether you brother was a good father or not based on that but it shouldn't matter. The son chose to leave and even change his name so why make the effort to track him down? He made his decision.
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Posted: 11/26/2014 6:56:07 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Don't know whether you brother was a good father or not based on that but it shouldn't matter. The son chose to leave and even change his name so why make the effort to track him down? He made his decision. This Sorry for your loss, but it sounds like you are the heir, if that is what you are asking |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 6:56:23 PM EDT
[#3]
I'm sorry for your loss.
If he has a will or trust, go by that. If not and you are the last remaining relative around, work through probate and keep the money for you and your family. eta: Is he local to you, or out of state? Eric  |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 6:56:53 PM EDT
[#4]
FPNI
Sorry for your loss. 
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Posted: 11/26/2014 6:57:46 PM EDT
[#5]
First off, I am sorry for your loss.
As far as finding his missing son, the only idea I can come up with is to try to find out what he changed his last name too. Maybe by finding someone who knew the man or your brothers ex-wife and go from there. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 6:58:20 PM EDT
[#6]
Sorry to hear
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Posted: 11/26/2014 7:00:30 PM EDT
[#7]
If there's not a will or estate plan of some sort you'll probably end up in probate court.
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Posted: 11/26/2014 7:00:35 PM EDT
[#8]
I would give it some effort, but I wouldn't spend a ton of time either.
When my great uncle died we found out that he had a daughter that no one knew existed. My dad made contact with her, and she seemed to appreciate us letting her know, and hearing what type of man he was. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 7:04:39 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I'm sorry for your loss. If he has a will or trust, go by that. If not and you are the last remaining relative around, work through probate and keep the money for you and your family. eta: Is he local to you, or out of state? Eric
No will of course and not local - I'm in El Paso, TX and he lived in Phoenix, AZ. I'm driving up after turkey day to get started on whatever needs to be done. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 7:07:06 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
First off, I am sorry for your loss. As far as finding his missing son, the only idea I can come up with is to try to find out what he changed his last name too. Maybe by finding someone who knew the man or your brothers ex-wife and go from there. My brother really tried to find him, with the changed name, the SSN would not have changed, it's like he just disappeared from this planet. I've got my kids on it now, going through social media channels to see if they can get anything. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 7:12:44 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My brother really tried to find him, with the changed name, the SSN would not have changed, it's like he just disappeared from this planet. I've got my kids on it now, going through social media channels to see if they can get anything. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: First off, I am sorry for your loss. As far as finding his missing son, the only idea I can come up with is to try to find out what he changed his last name too. Maybe by finding someone who knew the man or your brothers ex-wife and go from there. My brother really tried to find him, with the changed name, the SSN would not have changed, it's like he just disappeared from this planet. I've got my kids on it now, going through social media channels to see if they can get anything. Condolences. I see your present in my future. I'm sure you'll find the kid in short order. The world is pretty small these days. Good luck.
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Posted: 11/26/2014 7:14:27 PM EDT
[#12]
Thanks for the support guys, it has not even sunk in yet, I'm sure it will when I go through his house this weekend. The medical examiner said he probably died on thursday of last week, body was not found/removed until yesterday, it's not going to smell good in there is it?
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Posted: 11/26/2014 7:15:24 PM EDT
[#13]
Sorry to hear about your brother. I wouldn't waste my time trying to find his son. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 7:16:33 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Thanks for the support guys, it has not even sunk in yet, I'm sure it will when I go through his house this weekend. The medical examiner said he probably died on thursday of last week, body was not found/removed until yesterday, it's not going to smell good in there is it? Probably, but you never know. Take some vicks vaporub with you. A little under your nose will help. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 7:20:11 PM EDT
[#15]
I am sorry for your loss.
I don't know what legal requirements there are, if any, for you as an "heir" to basically become the executor of his estate if he had no will. Basically, to be blunt, if there is any sort of life insurance pay out and say you were listed as the sole beneficiary, I am not sure you are legally on the hook to settle any of his debts or other financial affairs. Again, sorry. EDIT: if there is to a regular funeral with a burial and casket, you could be looking at a $8,000 to maybe even $15,000 bill. Sorry, I don't mean to be insensitive. Just an FYI... |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 7:20:55 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Condolences. I see your present in my future. I'm sure you'll find the kid in short order. The world is pretty small these days. Good luck. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
First off, I am sorry for your loss. As far as finding his missing son, the only idea I can come up with is to try to find out what he changed his last name too. Maybe by finding someone who knew the man or your brothers ex-wife and go from there. My brother really tried to find him, with the changed name, the SSN would not have changed, it's like he just disappeared from this planet. I've got my kids on it now, going through social media channels to see if they can get anything. Condolences. I see your present in my future. I'm sure you'll find the kid in short order. The world is pretty small these days. Good luck. I really hope so. I want to find the son, he would be in his thirties now. Thing is - sure I could use the money, but don't really need it. Maybe this kid (man now) could really use it and maybe it might make up a little bit for when my brother wasn't there for him. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 7:32:07 PM EDT
[#17]
You have a good heart, OP.
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Posted: 11/26/2014 11:18:06 PM EDT
[#18]
There is a good group of Arfcommers in Arizona, so if you need some local advice on getting stuff done with the house, etc, I would post over in the AZ hometown forum.
Eric.
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Posted: 11/26/2014 11:37:51 PM EDT
[#19]
My condolences and best of luck.
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Posted: 11/26/2014 11:49:43 PM EDT
[#20]
Follow whatever probate procedures the state requires - notice in paper of record, etc. If the son makes contact, great. If not, the estate has been settled and he had his chance.
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Posted: 11/26/2014 11:51:35 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: If there's not a will or estate plan of some sort you'll probably end up in probate court. This. You need to hire a good probate attorney and get yourself appointed executor of the estate. How difficult the process is depends on the laws in your state. |
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Posted: 11/27/2014 12:09:44 AM EDT
[#22]
Sorry for your loss...
Work thru probate and put it aside for a few years in case he shows up with a claim |
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Posted: 11/27/2014 12:48:14 AM EDT
[#23]
So much bad advice already. Find a probate attorney in AZ, and he'll take care of everything that is required. Notice to creditors, publication, and heir search, transfer of assets once the claims period has expired. Sale of real estate. Don't half ass it and have something bite you in the ass later. I do this for a living and believe me, it's easier and cheaper to do it right the first time.
Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 11/27/2014 2:27:07 AM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
My brother really tried to find him, with the changed name, the SSN would not have changed, it's like he just disappeared from this planet. I've got my kids on it now, going through social media channels to see if they can get anything. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
First off, I am sorry for your loss. As far as finding his missing son, the only idea I can come up with is to try to find out what he changed his last name too. Maybe by finding someone who knew the man or your brothers ex-wife and go from there. My brother really tried to find him, with the changed name, the SSN would not have changed, it's like he just disappeared from this planet. I've got my kids on it now, going through social media channels to see if they can get anything. Sorry for your loss. As far as the son, you might check the Social Security Death Index for any name you think he might have used, and if found, you can verify by birth date and SS#. |
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Posted: 11/27/2014 11:27:11 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: So much bad advice already. Find a probate attorney in AZ, and he'll take care of everything that is required. Notice to creditors, publication, and heir search, transfer of assets once the claims period has expired. Sale of real estate. Don't half ass it and have something bite you in the ass later. I do this for a living and believe me, it's easier and cheaper to do it right the first time. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile ETA. Sorry for your loss.
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Posted: 11/27/2014 11:59:06 AM EDT
[#26]
Give the name of the person and last known address and i'm sure arf can find him. In this day and age, just about anybody can be found. That being said....he did try to find him, so I think a good internet search on your part, clears the vegas trip you have planned.
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Posted: 11/27/2014 12:34:22 PM EDT
[#27]
Condolences OP. Sorry to hear about your brother.
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Posted: 11/27/2014 6:42:53 PM EDT
[#28]
Quoted:
Short version - my older brother died last thursday, a local friend of his got worried when calls not returned, went to his house knocked, saw car in driveway, looked around the house, saw in bedroom window my brother laying in bed, not responsive, calls police, they get into house and confirm brother dead. Police contact me yesterday. Shit, he just retired last year and now drops dead. Here is the setup - brother was divorced for over 30 years, ex-wife dead, our parents are dead, has a son that he has not seen in over 20 years and last time he had contact with his son, the son told him he was changing his last name to match the man who raised him and didn't want anything to do with him. About 5 years ago my brother hired a private detective to try to find his son, the son was never found. I'm the only remaining family he has. What other efforts can I do to find the missing son? How long should assets be held for a son that may never be found? None. The "son" wants nothing to do with him. Leave it that way. |
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Posted: 11/27/2014 8:03:05 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
So much bad advice already. Find a probate attorney in AZ, and he'll take care of everything that is required. Notice to creditors, publication, and heir search, transfer of assets once the claims period has expired. Sale of real estate. Don't half ass it and have something bite you in the ass later. I do this for a living and believe me, it's easier and cheaper to do it right the first time. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile Also, listen to the attorney's advice, not all the helpful stories about how such and such cousin was ripped off by the lawyer. Read the state's statutes governing probate and the compensation allowed to the attorney and personal representative for the estate. You will probably receive zero guidance from the court or the attorney for handling the estate's taxes as the personal representative. The state is probably fairly simple, the IRS could be if there wasn't a pile of paperwork and instructions to read. Also be prepared for a pile of work made way inconvenient by the distance. What I did with my dad's estate - I put everything with title, an insurance policy, and refunds for deposits into the estate inventory. Everything else I tossed or gave away except for his electronics tools and a few other things; no estate sale, that will be a huge pain in the ass as it all has to be inventoried. If you take on the job of personal representative, you may have to buy a bond in the value of the estate inventory. The one I bought had to be renewed because the probate judge drug her feet. If he was receiving Social Security, you'll have to deal with shutting that off, and most likely they will issue at least one more payment that will have to be returned. The VA is retarded if you have to deal with them. |
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Posted: 11/28/2014 11:07:53 AM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sorry for your loss. As far as the son, you might check the Social Security Death Index for any name you think he might have used, and if found, you can verify by birth date and SS#. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
First off, I am sorry for your loss. As far as finding his missing son, the only idea I can come up with is to try to find out what he changed his last name too. Maybe by finding someone who knew the man or your brothers ex-wife and go from there. My brother really tried to find him, with the changed name, the SSN would not have changed, it's like he just disappeared from this planet. I've got my kids on it now, going through social media channels to see if they can get anything. Sorry for your loss. As far as the son, you might check the Social Security Death Index for any name you think he might have used, and if found, you can verify by birth date and SS#. Sorry for your loss... It is very difficult to change your SSN, barring witness protection or some kind of ongoing extreme identify fraud case. Track your nephews SSN down feed it into Intelius and go from there. But there are people (criminals) who do disappear into some one else's name and SSN, there have even been cases of someone taking over a dead persons SSN, then legally changing their name to make everything match up. On the run from other criminals if I recall. |
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Posted: 11/28/2014 11:09:46 AM EDT
[#31]
My brother's first retirement check showed up in the mail the day after he died.
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Posted: 11/28/2014 11:13:41 AM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
No will of course and not local - I'm in El Paso, TX and he lived in Phoenix, AZ. I'm driving up after turkey day to get started on whatever needs to be done. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I'm sorry for your loss. If he has a will or trust, go by that. If not and you are the last remaining relative around, work through probate and keep the money for you and your family. eta: Is he local to you, or out of state? Eric
No will of course and not local - I'm in El Paso, TX and he lived in Phoenix, AZ. I'm driving up after turkey day to get started on whatever needs to be done. If you need anything when you get to town let me know, I'm sorry for your loss. |
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Posted: 11/28/2014 11:20:43 AM EDT
[#33]
His son's a grown man you are his only living relative that cares at all about him.....everything left is yours as far as I'm concerned....if it bothers you
put some money in an account for a grand child....yours or his. |
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Posted: 11/28/2014 11:35:34 AM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I really hope so. I want to find the son, he would be in his thirties now. Thing is - sure I could use the money, but don't really need it. Maybe this kid (man now) could really use it and maybe it might make up a little bit for when my brother wasn't there for him. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
First off, I am sorry for your loss. As far as finding his missing son, the only idea I can come up with is to try to find out what he changed his last name too. Maybe by finding someone who knew the man or your brothers ex-wife and go from there. My brother really tried to find him, with the changed name, the SSN would not have changed, it's like he just disappeared from this planet. I've got my kids on it now, going through social media channels to see if they can get anything. Condolences. I see your present in my future. I'm sure you'll find the kid in short order. The world is pretty small these days. Good luck. I really hope so. I want to find the son, he would be in his thirties now. Thing is - sure I could use the money, but don't really need it. Maybe this kid (man now) could really use it and maybe it might make up a little bit for when my brother wasn't there for him. why ? he left and not your brother. I honestly would not make much of an effort to find him but that is just my personal opinion on this. If somebody told me they do not want to see me anymore fine have a nice day. but in any case good luck and sorry for your loss |
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Posted: 11/28/2014 11:58:35 AM EDT
[#35]
I'm sorry for your loss. Everyone can make assumptions about your brother but I am just going to assume you have the right to care about him. The legal affairs is the small stuff. My sister (In CA, not TX) is a paralegal and deals with these sorts of things all the time for about a 1/3 of an attorney. My advice is to find something similar in TX.
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Posted: 11/28/2014 12:01:36 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted: why ? he left and not your brother. I honestly would not make much of an effort to find him but that is just my personal opinion on this. If somebody told me they do not want to see me anymore fine have a nice day. but in any case good luck and sorry for your loss Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: First off, I am sorry for your loss. As far as finding his missing son, the only idea I can come up with is to try to find out what he changed his last name too. Maybe by finding someone who knew the man or your brothers ex-wife and go from there. My brother really tried to find him, with the changed name, the SSN would not have changed, it's like he just disappeared from this planet. I've got my kids on it now, going through social media channels to see if they can get anything. Condolences. I see your present in my future. I'm sure you'll find the kid in short order. The world is pretty small these days. Good luck. I really hope so. I want to find the son, he would be in his thirties now. Thing is - sure I could use the money, but don't really need it. Maybe this kid (man now) could really use it and maybe it might make up a little bit for when my brother wasn't there for him. why ? he left and not your brother. I honestly would not make much of an effort to find him but that is just my personal opinion on this. If somebody told me they do not want to see me anymore fine have a nice day. but in any case good luck and sorry for your loss Really? You think this kid, the child that this man in all likelihood chose to neglect, left because his dad was a good father and man? OP's brother was a no-show at the most important part of his own life. It sounds as if he possibly woke up after it was too late, but finally began to understand his own value that he chose to keep from his son. OP's reasoning is sound and comes from a man who obviously values the importance of fatherhood. Even something as simple and pathetic as 'your dad fucked up and knew it, he wanted you to have what's left from his estate' can make some measurable difference to an abandoned son, even when he's an adult. Sorry for your loss OP. Go through probate for your own good. |
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Posted: 11/28/2014 12:06:11 PM EDT
[#37]
I have nothing to offer but condolences for your loss, sorry man, I hope you can get it all straightened out.
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