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Posted: 11/25/2014 10:49:37 PM EDT
[#1]
Let him drive the Elantra for a month.
Most people today, look at Cars like they are a damn kitchen appliance, and no preventative Maint. other than a wash and wax is taken. A car you know, is always better than one you do not. You may not want to trade him afterall. |
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Posted: 11/25/2014 11:23:12 PM EDT
[#2]
Personally, I wouldn't pay that much for that old of a car with that high of mileage. Either of them.
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Posted: 11/25/2014 11:35:30 PM EDT
[#3]
tell him my parents made me buy everything I wanted, school supplies, cloths, even college . I thought they sucked for a while as parents ..... tell I look at my spoiled as kids friends that own nothing........ stand you're ground,,,,,
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Posted: 11/25/2014 11:43:24 PM EDT
[#4]
So he wrecked his car... the wording makes me think he was at fault? Plus he's rough on cars?
Take the nicest car, give him the shittiest, get money out of him to cover the differance. That's just good parenting, he's going to wreck nice shit cause he's young and doesn't know better... It's your responsibility to separate him from nice things and money until he's more responsible. |
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Posted: 11/25/2014 11:44:40 PM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
So he wrecked his car... the wording makes me think he was at fault? Plus he's rough on cars? Take the nicest car, give him the shittiest, get money out of him to cover the differance. That's just good parenting, he's going to wreck nice shit cause he's young and doesn't know better... It's your responsibility to separate him from nice things and money until he's more responsible. You're being too sensible... 
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Posted: 11/25/2014 11:47:00 PM EDT
[#6]
she who stacks the paychecks gets the better car
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Posted: 11/25/2014 11:47:40 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Let him drive the Elantra for a month. Most people today, look at Cars like they are a damn kitchen appliance, and no preventative Maint. other than a wash and wax is taken. A car you know, is always better than one you do not. You may not want to trade him afterall. I have known my wife 7 years. She is on her 5th car. Not one over 90,000 miles before traded in. |
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Posted: 11/25/2014 11:48:50 PM EDT
[#8]
Sounds like he should be riding a bicycle.
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Posted: 11/25/2014 11:51:06 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
she who stacks the paychecks gets the better car headshot |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 12:03:18 AM EDT
[#10]
Quoted: my son wrecked his car 2007 Elantra. He's been waiting for a check for insurance to buy another car. I found on Craigslist a 2002 Nissan Maxima fully loaded, beautiful car 160k for $4300 ( guy said that's what the dealer offered him on trade in). I paid cash for the car and my son will pay me back when he gets his refund check. My son is hard on cars. He offered me to trade my car 2003 Sonata 210k straight across for the Maxima. I told him it wasn't a fair trade, my husband said $1000 plus my car. We can't afford more. My son wants to do I feel like I am taking him to the cleaners. My car has been well cared for and is in good shape. My son doesn't know anything about cars. Get him a $500 1998 Ford Escort. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 12:08:10 AM EDT
[#11]
If he doesn't like the deal, let him find his own car and pay for it with the insurance money. No need for you to be involved. Sell the Maxima and move on.
Not sure what you find unethical. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 12:25:12 AM EDT
[#12]
Okay, I don't want to take advantage of my son. The Maxima though a year older than my car has more bells and whistles and fewer miles. I have taken care of my car. It is in good shape and it will cost less for him to own (as long as it doesn't break down soon.) I did lend him the money so he wouldn't miss out on the car, but he will pay me back. I did the same for him when he bought the Elantra. He paid under market for the Elantra.
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Posted: 11/26/2014 12:28:01 AM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted: So he wrecked his car... the wording makes me think he was at fault? Plus he's rough on cars? He was at fault. He wasn't paying attention and rear ended a van. The driver of the van fled the scene--I'm assuming she didn't have insurance. He's hard on his cars in so much as I'm always nagging him to get the oil changed, he goes through tires faster than he should be etc. Take the nicest car, give him the shittiest, get money out of him to cover the difference. That's just good parenting, he's going to wreck nice shit cause he's young and doesn't know better... It's your responsibility to separate him from nice things and money until he's more responsible. He's 25 and it's his money. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 12:40:17 AM EDT
[#14]
Not his money if you fronted it to him.
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Posted: 11/26/2014 12:48:35 AM EDT
[#15]
Don't forget to include a pair of snow tires n wheels fer the Nissan...
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Posted: 11/26/2014 12:57:41 AM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
He's 25 and it's his money. 
At 25, I had 2 kids, a wife, a house, and a college degree. Stop enabling him. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 12:58:00 AM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Don't forget to include a pair of snow tires n wheels fer the Nissan... |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 1:00:27 AM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: At 25, I had 2 kids, a wife, a house, and a college degree. Stop enabling him. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: He's 25 and it's his money. At 25, I had 2 kids, a wife, a house, and a college degree. Stop enabling him. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 1:15:57 AM EDT
[#19]
Why don't you just give him your car?
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Posted: 11/26/2014 1:38:34 AM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
He's single but has his bachelor degree. He's a good kids, he's jus hard on cars. He's owned his Elantra for 5-6 months and put 15k miles on it. I think he changed the oil twice. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
He's 25 and it's his money.
At 25, I had 2 kids, a wife, a house, and a college degree. Stop enabling him. Let him take care of himself. Mommy can't always tie his shoes. I'm not saying that to be an asshole. But you've got to kick him out of the nest. Twenty five and still dependent on mom is bad news. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 1:43:34 AM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Let him take care of himself. Mommy can't always tie his shoes. I'm not saying that to be an asshole. But you've got to kick him out of the nest. Twenty five and still dependent on mom is bad news. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: He's 25 and it's his money. At 25, I had 2 kids, a wife, a house, and a college degree. Stop enabling him. Let him take care of himself. Mommy can't always tie his shoes. I'm not saying that to be an asshole. But you've got to kick him out of the nest. Twenty five and still dependent on mom is bad news. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 1:45:03 AM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Why don't you just give him your car? |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 1:45:11 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Let him take care of himself. Mommy can't always tie his shoes. I'm not saying that to be an asshole. But you've got to kick him out of the nest. Twenty five and still dependent on mom is bad news. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
He's 25 and it's his money.
At 25, I had 2 kids, a wife, a house, and a college degree. Stop enabling him. Let him take care of himself. Mommy can't always tie his shoes. I'm not saying that to be an asshole. But you've got to kick him out of the nest. Twenty five and still dependent on mom is bad news. IIRC her son has some needs that are no ones fault that precludes him from being 100% independent. I'm willing to bet you would feel like a pretty big dick if you knew the situation. Maybe start with questions before you lob in opinions that don't fit the situation at all. Eta: didn't want to put her business out there but looks like she covered it above. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 1:46:13 AM EDT
[#24]
Take the check take out any he owes you hand him the remainder
and let him figure it out; at 25 he's old enough to act like an adult. My parents coddled my brother and he turned out a loser I moved out at 18 and was stubborn enough to make it In the end I'm doing light years better. My wife's family had money and could have helped us but did not, even when we were flat broke, but it was the best thing they could have done for us. The best thing you can do is to let him struggle. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 1:48:59 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: IIRC her son has some needs that are no ones fault that precludes him from being 100% independent. I'm willing to bet you would feel like a pretty big dick if you knew the situation. Maybe start with questions before you lob in opinions that don't fit the situation at all. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: He's 25 and it's his money. At 25, I had 2 kids, a wife, a house, and a college degree. Stop enabling him. Let him take care of himself. Mommy can't always tie his shoes. I'm not saying that to be an asshole. But you've got to kick him out of the nest. Twenty five and still dependent on mom is bad news. IIRC her son has some needs that are no ones fault that precludes him from being 100% independent. I'm willing to bet you would feel like a pretty big dick if you knew the situation. Maybe start with questions before you lob in opinions that don't fit the situation at all. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 1:51:46 AM EDT
[#26]
You have bought the car or is his name on the car?
Do not GIVE him the extra $1,000 just take that out of what he owes you. So now he owes you $1,000 less. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 1:52:13 AM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
So he wrecked his car... the wording makes me think he was at fault? Plus he's rough on cars? He was at fault. He wasn't paying attention and rear ended a van. The driver of the van fled the scene--I'm assuming she didn't have insurance. He's hard on his cars in so much as I'm always nagging him to get the oil changed, he goes through tires faster than he should be etc. Take the nicest car, give him the shittiest, get money out of him to cover the difference. That's just good parenting, he's going to wreck nice shit cause he's young and doesn't know better... It's your responsibility to separate him from nice things and money until he's more responsible. He's 25 and it's his money. All the more reason for him to accept what you decide. He should get a beater car to learn on. I'm going out on a limb guessing you also pay for his repairs. We gave our daughter a 72 GMC farm truck, we had 3 vehicles and saw no reason to buy something when what we had worked. She bitched about it not being as nice and new like her friends cars were. TILL she was rear ended by another student, who wasn't paying attention, SURPRISE!. She got out looked at the now destroyed small import with the hood and bumper pushed up to the windshield. her truck had some white paint and plastic pieces from the other driver. She came home and said. I REALLY LIKE THAT TRUCK. Nothing like a beater vehicle and fender bender to appreciate something cheap. She also learned how to work on that truck. You own it know how it ticks, just like a gun. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 1:53:14 AM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
IIRC her son has some needs that are no ones fault that precludes him from being 100% independent. I'm willing to bet you would feel like a pretty big dick if you knew the situation. Maybe start with questions before you lob in opinions that don't fit the situation at all. Eta: didn't want to put her business out there but looks like she covered it above. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
He's 25 and it's his money.
At 25, I had 2 kids, a wife, a house, and a college degree. Stop enabling him. Let him take care of himself. Mommy can't always tie his shoes. I'm not saying that to be an asshole. But you've got to kick him out of the nest. Twenty five and still dependent on mom is bad news. IIRC her son has some needs that are no ones fault that precludes him from being 100% independent. I'm willing to bet you would feel like a pretty big dick if you knew the situation. Maybe start with questions before you lob in opinions that don't fit the situation at all. Eta: didn't want to put her business out there but looks like she covered it above. Perhaps that info should have been posted. Not that it would change my opinion much. He has a college degree and a drivers license. He shouldn't need his hand held. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 1:55:51 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You have bought the car or is his name on the car? Do not GIVE him the extra $1,000 just take that out of what he owes you. So now he owes you $1,000 less. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 1:59:05 AM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I have known my wife 7 years. She is on her 5th car. Not one over 90,000 miles before traded in. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Let him drive the Elantra for a month. Most people today, look at Cars like they are a damn kitchen appliance, and no preventative Maint. other than a wash and wax is taken. A car you know, is always better than one you do not. You may not want to trade him afterall. I have known my wife 7 years. She is on her 5th car. Not one over 90,000 miles before traded in. 
Exactly my point. The mindset is to get rid of the things before "They have problems". Nevermind that with routine maint. and some preventative maint. like replacing timing belts a little before they are worn sloppy, Tranny service, and that sort of thing...150K is easy money in the bank. The MIL. is like that. "Why do I need to have the transmission serviced, it works fine" Nevermind the 120k on the clock, on the same ATF, and the manufacturers recommended swap at 80K.
Even the cars made in the late 90's are good for 150K+ if they got some love. It's NOT 1974 anymore. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 2:00:38 AM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: All the more reason for him to accept what you decide. He should get a beater car to learn on. I'm going out on a limb guessing you also pay for his repairs. We gave our daughter a 72 GMC farm truck, we had 3 vehicles and saw no reason to buy something when what we had worked. She bitched about it not being as nice and new like her friends cars were. TILL she was rear ended by another student, who wasn't paying attention, SURPRISE!. She got out looked at the now destroyed small import with the hood and bumper pushed up to the windshield. her truck had some white paint and plastic pieces from the other driver. She came home and said. I REALLY LIKE THAT TRUCK. Nothing like a beater vehicle and fender bender to appreciate something cheap. She also learned how to work on that truck. You own it know how it ticks, just like a gun. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: So he wrecked his car... the wording makes me think he was at fault? Plus he's rough on cars? He was at fault. He wasn't paying attention and rear ended a van. The driver of the van fled the scene--I'm assuming she didn't have insurance. He's hard on his cars in so much as I'm always nagging him to get the oil changed, he goes through tires faster than he should be etc. Take the nicest car, give him the shittiest, get money out of him to cover the difference. That's just good parenting, he's going to wreck nice shit cause he's young and doesn't know better... It's your responsibility to separate him from nice things and money until he's more responsible. He's 25 and it's his money. All the more reason for him to accept what you decide. He should get a beater car to learn on. I'm going out on a limb guessing you also pay for his repairs. We gave our daughter a 72 GMC farm truck, we had 3 vehicles and saw no reason to buy something when what we had worked. She bitched about it not being as nice and new like her friends cars were. TILL she was rear ended by another student, who wasn't paying attention, SURPRISE!. She got out looked at the now destroyed small import with the hood and bumper pushed up to the windshield. her truck had some white paint and plastic pieces from the other driver. She came home and said. I REALLY LIKE THAT TRUCK. Nothing like a beater vehicle and fender bender to appreciate something cheap. She also learned how to work on that truck. You own it know how it ticks, just like a gun. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 2:03:42 AM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Exactly my point. The mindset is to get rid of the things before "They have problems". Nevermind that with routine maint. and some preventative maint. like replacing timing belts a little before they are worn sloppy, Tranny service, and that sort of thing...150K is easy money in the bank. The MIL. is like that. "Why do I need to have the transmission serviced, it works fine" Nevermind the 120k on the clock, on the same ATF, and the manufacturers recommended swap at 80K. Even the cars made in the late 90's are good for 150K+ if they got some love. It's NOT 1974 anymore. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Let him drive the Elantra for a month. Most people today, look at Cars like they are a damn kitchen appliance, and no preventative Maint. other than a wash and wax is taken. A car you know, is always better than one you do not. You may not want to trade him afterall. I have known my wife 7 years. She is on her 5th car. Not one over 90,000 miles before traded in. Exactly my point. The mindset is to get rid of the things before "They have problems". Nevermind that with routine maint. and some preventative maint. like replacing timing belts a little before they are worn sloppy, Tranny service, and that sort of thing...150K is easy money in the bank. The MIL. is like that. "Why do I need to have the transmission serviced, it works fine" Nevermind the 120k on the clock, on the same ATF, and the manufacturers recommended swap at 80K. Even the cars made in the late 90's are good for 150K+ if they got some love. It's NOT 1974 anymore. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 2:33:59 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You're being too sensible... Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: snip You're being too sensible... I also have done my fair share of car wrecking.  |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 2:36:19 AM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Well he is autistic so he will always be somewhat dependent on me. He also just started a new job so he doesn't have much freedom to go out looking. I could have waited until he had the insurance money but I saw car and jumped on it. Quote HistoryQuoted: snip If he's going to wreck cars, and has shown a pattern for it through neglect or accidents, then it would seem reasonable for you make sure he ends up with the lower value, not as nice vehicle. I know you've stated you want to be fair, but it seems like in this scenario "fair" regarding the value of the car is irreverent. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 11:59:59 AM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: snip If he's going to wreck cars, and has shown a pattern for it through neglect or accidents, then it would seem reasonable for you make sure he ends up with the lower value, not as nice vehicle. I know you've stated you want to be fair, but it seems like in this scenario "fair" regarding the value of the car is irreverent. But the value of the Elantra has no effect on the value of the Maxima or my Sonota. Either he owes me $4500 and he keeps the Maxima or he can buy the Sonota for $3500. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 12:09:11 PM EDT
[#36]
Hope he gets the Sonota, less likely to get in trouble. The Maxima has a lot more power. The 2002 & 2003 Maximas holds their value a bit more because in 2004 they started making them in America.
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Posted: 11/26/2014 12:13:22 PM EDT
[#37]
Let him drive his own wreck and figure it out. You are extending an olive branch for him but he wants the tree.... remove the branch and he will eventually be happy with just an olive.
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Posted: 11/26/2014 12:26:30 PM EDT
[#38]
Well I presented it to him like this. You are at a car dealer looking at cars, you see my Sonota with a sticker on it that reads $3500 and you see the Maxima that reads $4500, which car do you want to buy.
He said the Sonota. |
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Posted: 11/26/2014 12:32:07 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Well my car is valued at 4800 the Maxiama 6500. I want to be fair Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Why don't you just give him your car? It seems you created this situation by buying the Maxima. Who paid for the original car? How much is the insurance paying out on the wrecked car? Why didn't you just let him buy a replacement vehicle himself with the insurance money?
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Posted: 11/26/2014 12:35:25 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted: It seems you created this situation by buying the Maxima. Who paid for the original car? How much is the insurance paying out on the wrecked car? Why didn't you just let him buy a replacement vehicle himself with the insurance money? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Why don't you just give him your car? It seems you created this situation by buying the Maxima. Who paid for the original car? How much is the insurance paying out on the wrecked car? Why didn't you just let him buy a replacement vehicle himself with the insurance money? He is getting $5500 for the Elantra. He paid $3500 on it. He asked for my help finding the new car. He doesn't know anything about cars and he started a new job and has had some illnesses so he hasn't had a lot of time to look at cars. I found the Maxiama and I thought it was too good of a deal to let go. Once I bought the Maxiama, I started wanting it! |
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