I live in a very rural town here in SE Texas. Because of that, there isn't many places for kids to trick or treat around town. To remedy this problem, the town has local businesses along Main Street sign up to be a candy supplier for all of the little kids through 3rd grade. Well the town walk starts at my business by our Methodist Church. If you are a Methodist, you know most have a pumpkin patch during Halloween.

So I'm outside of my office goofing off and watching all the kids get ready to start the trip around town. It's a pretty chaotic sight as there are probably 300 kids in this jumbled line of creatures, super heroes, and undead. They get some candy before they begin and then head to our front door... Well about half way through this line I'm watching a princess looking in her bag and I notice she keeps tripping on her dress. As expected, she isn't paying attention and falls down spilling her chocolate treasure bag.

This is where shit gets real.

Behind her is a authentic looking, albeit chubby Capt. America who locked onto the unattended Reece's pieces, snickers, and Nerds strewn about the lawn like a Falcon. I literally watched his eyes sparkle as he engaged the candy. Princess wasn't having this shit. She went from Diseny to MMA in .02 flat. Capt. chubby didn't see her while scooping up the bounty, and he paid for it. She speared him.... No shit, she speared him right in the gut and rolled his ass. She's on top of him screaming about her chocolate and hejust has this petrified look of horror on his face.

I though it was over at this point. Nope...

After princess gets off of chunk, she returnes to pick up her candy among a makeshift ring of little kids. Seriously it looked like a mini version of fight club about to go down. Well Capt. America must have watched one too many Marvel movies because what he did next was epic. As I said, his costume was pretty damn authentic and had to be homemade. The best part was his shield. I watch him as this look of determination builds in his eyes and I knew what he was thinking before he even did it. This dude takes his shield and with all his might, attempts an authentic Capt. America shield throw at the back of princess pain. He tried... I mean he really tried to pull if off, but we all know kids don't have great hand/eye coordination. The fucking shield flys from his hands and hits some poor ninja turtle in the face two feet to his right.

Holy shit.

He then charged her after his failed attempt and they go at it. Now you have a princess and Capt. America in a grudge match, a ninja turtle bleeding from the nose, and about 10 others either screaming or bawling uncontrollably. By this time I'm pondering if I should step in and end and it, but I could only watch. There's a Thor just standing there picking his nose, watching his Avenger brother-in-arms getting mauled. Spider man is jumping up and down going ape shit for no reason, and a zombie is chowing down on a kit kat.

Finally a grown up who cared came along and pulled them apart. The scowl she gave me was priceless.

LOL
that was good

this thread would be Awesome with pics!!!

Nice.

I'm crying  here,  man.

Well written man, well written indeed.

World Star!

Oh, man, that was nice, OP.    

Out of curiosity - and maybe I missed it - where does a princess get a spear?

Awesome.  

That is the best thing I will read all day.

No shit
Where's the vertical video?

Shit... You shouldve busted out the camera phone, and recorded that shit!!! Lol

And whispered "worrrrrrlllstaaaaah"

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Epic

Nah. Needs vertical video and WHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUURrrrrrrrrrlllllllllllllllllllSSSSSSSSSSstttttaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrr

TL;DR. Can I get a break down?

No.

Princess tripped, fatty went for candy, hilarity ensued.

Nice!!!

Video would have been priceless! But we'll settle for MSPaint.

There is much win in this thread.

No video needed. The mental image I have is absolutely EPIC.

Read it.  It's worth it, and well done.  

awesome, I'd love to see video of that

Can we get XCR to draw this epic fight?

Good job....wife and I laughed our asses off!

 

Laughing so hard I farted

literally, i have tears welling up in my eyes.  thanks op.

Pure poetry.

No shit, I fucking lost.  



 

The only thing that could have made that better was video.

that was a great story! Thanks!

 

That made my day.....thank for telling the story

 

If ever there was a thread for XCR to immortalize, this is it.

Out of curiosity, why did the woman give you the stink eye? You intervening is a no-win situation, particularly as a business owner. If Captain America's first instinct was to steal the fallen candy instead of helping the girl retrieve it, then it's a safe bet that his parents are shitbags. If one kid was getting their clock cleaned that would be one thing, but it sounds like everyone aside from Donatello was holding their own.

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I'd actually have to agree...

Its gotta be like a book... Always WAAAY better in my imagination, than in a video or movie! Lol

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Kids are awesome critters! Thank you OP for that epic Halloween tale.  I enjoyed it.

Can I be Captain America?  

He was always the pussy of the bunch.