I need to go to sleep but I thought I would share as I just got done texting with chick # 2.

I rarely get to go out due to being a shift worker and single Dad but tomorrow night I'm meeting a chick at a bar at 8:00.  In my preparation for this date I went to my hot hair cut chick after work tonight.  I found it a bit odd that she wanted to trim my eyebrows and wanted to touch up my new still starting it winter beard.

I have a baby face so a beard looks a bit fucky on me.  Picture a white ass Finn with sensitive skin and a beauty mole on the left lower face.  I can't remember where I was going with this paragraph.  Fuck it.  I wont delete it.

Chick # 2 is the hair chick.  She actually stayed late to cut my hair tonight.  I called today from work to make an appointment for tomorrow hoping she had time.  She sent me a text a few hours after my haircut.  Apparently she is getting a divorce and it's been bad for a long time.  

On to chick # 1.  I went out a couple of weeks ago on one of my rare nights to myself.  She is a 26 year old Minnesota Iron Range drinking chick who moved down to the north shore.  She has short ass hair and wears those lib kind of glasses.  She is pretty hot and I want to bang her.  We have that rip on each other thing going on right now and it's very vulgar on both ends.  It's quite fun and I want to bang her.  We are meeting at a bar Friday night at 8:00.  I am walking there.  The night we met she gave me a ride home but would not come in and bang.

Back to hair chick # 2.  In her first text she said she was all excited for my date and dropped the she is getting divorced bomb.  After a shitload of texts she wants to come out tomorrow too.  I said "You should show up and make each other jealous and it will turn into a perfect three way."  She had multiple responses with smilies, date night, lol, and shit like that.  She is persistent that I text her about date night.

Chick # 2 is probably looking for the branch.  Chick # 1 knows me a little too and wants to bang.  Maybe # 2 would three way?  I really want to bang both.  If I Ignore # 2 tomorrow night I might not be able to bang her because she'll know I'm banging # 1 and get pissed.

GD, imagine yourself as a divorced 36 year old shift worker with a daughter who doesn't get much time to himself.  What would you do?  If there is interest I promise that I will update.

Both twenty somethings have short ass hair.  

ETA  Really short ass hair.

what the fuck did i just read??? go to bed you're drunk!!

It's an obvious trap girl..

Have fun and enjoy the herpes.

How do you know about their ass hair?  Seems a rare topic to come up in conversation.

Is #1 a nurse?

Is the either a redhead?

Either have a horse?

You could hit the crazy trifecta.

No dicks for me but thanks.

you've never asked a chick about her ass hair? hmm...i do it all the time... you know, just verifying in advance she doesn't have any...

Go out with #1, bang her, tell her to gtfo, invite over #2 tell her how bad the night with #1 was then bang #2. What could go wrong?

That is the whole trap part. You won't know until it is too late

# 1 has a hint of red and # 2 the salon chick is very red right now.

pickle surprise...

I'd address the gender identity issues first, then question why you how long their ass hair is.

edited fer quotezes

Directly asking seems like it may offend those who don't, leading to a catch 22 situation. Such is life.

That's what I was thinking but but the hair chick might be into a little role playing and lead to a 3 way.

My partners have to have short ass hair.  I don't like hairy asses.

i see your point... in fact, it may explain why i haven't had a date in a while...

If you play your nonchalant cards right, you're getting laid.  If you play them and get an awesome hand, you're doubly fucked...in a good way.  That's all there is to it.

I'm going to bed, remember what I said.

Don't try to talk like a mentally retarded black guy.     It doesn't suit you at all.    It doesn't make you sound "hip"
You just aren't good at it.

Also, there is no such thing as a "beauty mole".   You aren't Deniro.     Just get it cut off.

Holy shit you made me laugh but what the fuck?

Bang chick #1 since she is already single.

Bang chick #2 when divorce is final.

You'll probably end up with your hand, but what have you got to lose?

I so fucking need the readers digest version of this post.
The shellfish bastard.

Somehow I can see the OP dumping a bunch of cash on drinks and then the two chicks going home with each other

Yeah , this is a tag

AJ;d 11K.
But Im ok with your post.

I will then have real life lesbians to fap to.

It's late (early) .  Sorry if I was blunt, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice.   That's what the other guys are alluding to, with their "Hairy Ass" jokes.       It's OK to be a white guy from the upper Midwest.   Not everybody can be KidRock.  

Good luck.  Wrap it before you tap it.  

I see the light now.  I wouldn't ever try to come across as a Kid Rock or black guy.  I'm a super white Iron Ranger.

Your post was still funnier than hell to me.

Easy, drive on trying to hit it with No1 and keep No2 in your back pocket. DO NOT get them both together at the same time this early that will spell doom and you will lose out on both. IMHO hair stylists and female beauty salons workers are a untapped pool of pun where the chicks have jobs, make tips and keep themselves up.

If I read this right, you are going on a second date with a chick that "wants to bang you", but so far hasn't let you.  You now are going to have a second chick meet you at the bar with the first chick because you think this will somehow become a 3-way.

I predict no sex and 2 pissed off chicks that probably wont talk to you again.  You will need to find a new barber after tomorrow too.

I am going with lesbian 'hate man' rage and him waking up naked in pink lingerie tied to a cheap motel bed

This. I know this seems like a strange idea, but hear me out. You seem to like girl #1 and have fun with her. And you think her ass hair is hot. Why not just go out with her and see what happens without trying to get other women involved? I know it is a crazy idea but good luck.

ETA: Plus I am figuring this is a smallish town. They probably know each other. Hell, #2 probably does #1's hair and they are fucking with you about the whole thing and trading info.

How short is their hair? "I wanna speak to the manager" short? Or just a bit above the shoulders short?

Have them both get the ass hair bleached...

Posts pics and we will have a poll and declare  a winner

Well , I would play it straight and not have 2 show up while on date 1.

It won't be a we're going to to out slut each other contest, it will be fuck off one of them is leaving kind of night.mand the other will still be pissed.

But then again my playa status have been revoked , don't listen to me

Nope not happening op. A mercy 3way is rare.  Focus on #1. Then bang #2 if you can. Then you can drop hints at a three way. The girl has to choose who it is anyway.

"We are meeting at a bar Friday night at 8:00.  I am walking there.  The
night we met she gave me a ride home but would not come in and bang."






You are a loser that has no car.  What do think is going to happen?

I barely understood The OP.

This will predictably end in disappointment.

Yours first, and then ours, when their is no update about yours.

Based on your description of yourself, I think you should grab anything that you can.

"Having standards" is obviously not going to work in your favor.

Why are there no pictures?

You know what they say, "Once you tried grass on the ass, you never go back!"





I think that is what they say, they are usually drunk, so it may lose something in translation.



 

Need pictures for good advice.
All hair stylists have the crazy.

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"Getting divorced" and "recently divorced" and "separated" while SOMETIMES is OK, can often come with lots of drama.

It seems to me that that age group there are a lot of bi women. Some only kiss, some do oral, some doe more. There are degrees of bi. Will it happen, I have put two girls together and had them go at it a lot. 3somes were my breakfast for  long time, nothing better than being a gentleman and helping them out either

Short Ass Hair is good. Waxed is better, though.

Post some fuckin' pics of the two for starters! Rulz, we have them!

While I admire your goal-oriented thought process, your plan is a little aggressive considering at least one of them is crazy (mid-divorce hairstylist).



Date them both, on separate schedules.  Bang them both.  Then go for the 3-way if you don't really see a future with either.

I don't understand....

Your barber is female?  Asian, right?