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dont ask to see a ultrasound, if she is halfway smart a generic one from google would work
tell her you scheduled her a ultrasound for next week time to put up or shutup my lady #1 rule of sex with new women is dont trust the woman dont trust her birth control dont trust the condom the condom leaves with you.... |
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If your 3 week old baby has a heart rate of 62 you'd be getting get ready to fit him/her with a pint-sized hockey helmet.
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Congrats, OP! I can tell you're going to be a wonderful dad. You're off to a great start.
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Of all the money I've ever spent, the vasectomy I had in my early 20's was the one investment that has provided the greatest returns... OP, get a paternity test, deny everything, make counter-accusations... and buy some condoms FFS... |
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View Quote I actually , you owe me a keyboard |
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They count the number of weeks pregnant in a weird way. It's not the date of "conception" but when the mother had her last menstrual cycle, which could have been near the beginning of September. The heartbeat is detectable at this point.
ETA: She could actually be "six weeks" not the four weeks since your loving embrace. |
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This is why I now run far and fast from crazy girls.
Risk reward ain't there no more. |
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the only " deposits" you should make to strange new girls... should be oral in nature.
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That's a great ad! |
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I did! Idk if all the cheeto powder was too abrasive Serious note I did. It just seems weird. Questioned me about why I wanted to see the ultrasound. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Whelp I couldn't resist and went ahead and porked a crazy girl. We did it the 21st of September and she is trying to tell me that the baby has a slow heart rate 62~ bpm I'm pretty sure this bitch is crazy and just wants attention. Is 4< weeks too soon to detect a heartbeat? You used PPE gear, right? I did! Idk if all the cheeto powder was too abrasive Serious note I did. It just seems weird. Questioned me about why I wanted to see the ultrasound. Tell her to fuck off. |
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that is why when I was single, I enjoyed fucking pregnant girls, cant get double pregnant
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Is this OP? http://lolfunnymeme.com/wp-content/uploads/486599_10100309399727650_1254120577_n.jpg View Quote |
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OP, may I suggest................... http://li.c-b.co/is/image/LandOfNod/3501651_GoodnightMoonBB_0308/$web_zoom$&wid=550&hei=550&/1308310657/goodnight-moon-board-bookby-margaret-wise-brown.jpg my chirren loved it! View Quote Holy shit, I can still recite that book! |
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If I made a list of all stupid shit I like to watch people do to completely fuck up their lives, and believe me I do enjoy the schadenfreude as pertains to stupidity, this way would be at the very bottom of my list.
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Heart rate is very low. It should be around 110 to 120 bpm. The heart starts beating around 3 weeks or so.
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After reviewing the pics... http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/2d/2db85a78ccdbcb45bd122315533ec8f0aec40ccd1b9b420fb9362d777ac2d28a.jpg Congrats daddy! View Quote I wanna see!! Pepper your angus OP. You's about to get fooked. |
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Mother fucking amateurs, when will you listen!?
That ride ain't worth the pain. |
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After reviewing the pics... http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/2d/2db85a78ccdbcb45bd122315533ec8f0aec40ccd1b9b420fb9362d777ac2d28a.jpg Congrats daddy! View Quote You are now tasked with passing them on. |
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After reviewing the pics... http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/2d/2db85a78ccdbcb45bd122315533ec8f0aec40ccd1b9b420fb9362d777ac2d28a.jpg Congrats daddy! View Quote My PM box has some extra space |
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Always wrap it
Before you tap it Unless you think In the stink! |
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After reviewing the pics... http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/2d/2db85a78ccdbcb45bd122315533ec8f0aec40ccd1b9b420fb9362d777ac2d28a.jpg Congrats daddy! View Quote Wolverine nipples ??? |
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If I made a list of all stupid shit I like to watch people do to completely fuck up their lives, and believe me I do enjoy the schadenfreude as pertains to stupidity, this way would be at the very bottom of my list. View Quote Well put. Things become unfunny real quick when it involves someone else's life who has no say in it. |
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