Had a hippie teacher in the mid '70's tell us she kept 22LR to trade for food even though she was anti gun(think commune type survivalist) I told her I knew how to get lots of food with just one round....She asked how so I said put it in a rifle and yell" EVERYONE OUT OF MY GROCERY"!!!
Got 2 days off...

In Junior High I got in trouble for being a tall white guy getting jumped by a group of tiny Mexicans.

I got suspended for three days for saying damn.

In 6th grade we had to design our own cereal, so I created "GI-JO's" along with an actual cereal box I designed. I added in the front that it contained nicotine, so that it would be "even more addicting"... Principle was not impressed.

In 7th grade I bought a silk screen shirt from the mall that said "I don't dial 911" along with two hands firing a 1911. Again, not amused.

Calling teacher a bitch. She was.

Flipping off another teacher that acted like a complete douche on a daily basis.

Got jumped by a classmate in the hallway on the way back to class from lunch.

I kicked his ass, broke my hand and got paddled.

Had just gotten my hand out of a cast 2 days before from breaking it in football.

Fuck you, zero-tolerance fight rules.

I was threatened with suspension and forced to apologize to a teacher who thought the Star of David I drew on my notebook was a symbol of devil worship.

Same here, except my punishment was 1 day suspension, to be served specifically on the optional day the week before exam week.

I had a pretty good understanding with our "enforcer" guy; he's like "Well, per the rules I have to suspend you, how about we pick a day you're not going to be ere anyway?"

AR4U, Your post genuinely pissed me off.

My extreme hatred of petty authority figures is well earned and nurtured from my experiences in school. These people who are/were entrusted to mentor and teach little kids can be some of the most obtuse, petty, vile, self righteous, pieces of shit there are.

I've got plenty but I'll share one of the better ones.

I spent a lot of time in the woods. It was 5th grade. Was forced into Christian school and hated every minute.

I had brought some buckeye leaves to school to mess with a couple friends.

For those who don't know, they look a lot like pot leaves.

Some punk saw me showing them to my fellow rebellious friends and ratted on me. I forget the exact circumstance but I was in the nurses office (adjacent to dean's office)

I was pulled into the dean's office and told to empty my pockets. I smiled as I explained my joke and thought he'd be impressed with my botanical knowledge as I told him what they were.

He pulls out his bible and starts explaining that we should stay away from the appearance of evil and how I'd done something very bad.

Got swats along with some emotional trauma and a firm hatred of the man. Had thoughts later in life of meeting him and explaining that, now, since I was larger and stronger than him, I could hit him because in my opinion he'd done wrong.

Yeah. Hitting kids is a great way to teach them. It's just that you're not teaching them what you think you are.

Me and three other seniors skipped school to.......study for the SAT (I know, we were geeks).  Little did we know that our parents were notified and even the police was called.  When we came back at the end of the day, there was a shit storm waiting for us .  We ended up with two weeks of detention and had to apologize to our parents.  What helped was we were among the top 3% in a class of 630.

Returning a lost wallet
Avoiding a car accident
Opening a door
My school sucked

After watching "Grumpy Old Men" I hid three dead blue gills under the carpet in some kids car I didn't like.   He found them by following his nose a few days later.  I had told some friends about it and they couldn't keep quiet.  

Also burnouts, smoking, a few fights.

 LOL . We used to call it carbogoning.

Put a goldfish in a centrifuge for a few seconds in science lab. He swam upside down and ate his own turds afterwards. I feel bad about that...

It was a goldfish.....

At my first wedding our center pieces on the tables were blenders with goldfish in them.

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Throwing a firecracker out a bus window
It didn't go out the window...it landed on my lap

I refused to say who started a fight I was in
Took my punishment then pounded the kid later

Tossed my buddy a dinner roll I wasn't going to eat.
There had been an epic food fight the day before and zero tolerance was in effect.

I got more if I think hard enough.

I was never suspended from school. Not dumb enough to get caught doing the things that would get me suspended.

Fighting.  I never started the fights, just ended them.

Near the end of my Senior year had a class that I had to pass to graduate. in class was a couple of fools who played with everybody in class. One day one of them threw an eraser and hit me in the back of my head. Once the dust cleared I went over to the kid that threw it and he said,"sit back down before you get hurt". I just punched him right in the eye as hard as I could. He went out of the chair on the floor just as the teacher walked in. Got 3 days on the beach but the teacher made sure I passed the class and said after graduation it was the best punch he had ever seen in school. The fool walked around with sunglasses on for the last 3 weeks of school to cover up the black eye. Every time I looked at him after that he would never look me in the eye for the rest of the school year.

Fighting, after school.

That terrible. But I can't seem to stop laughing.

Senor dress up day - I dressed up as inspector gadget.

During lunch, our vice prinipal was standing at his normal roost ensuring no shennanigans were going down, when I walked up in front of him and opened my trench coat.
I shouted, go go gadget dick, and showed him the 18" dildo I had dangling out of my pants.

5 days out of school suspension, and placed on probation (one more fuck up and i wouldn't be able to walk at graduation).
Earned every single day of that

Pissed on a wall in grade school.  I don't remember why.  Suspended for a week.

Got a stern talking to  for the crime of selling pencil shavings rolled into a fat conical spliff to some deserving dumbass.

Had a friend throw an Artillery shell (firework) into the van of the people taking school photos. Other than all the burn marks the bad part was that the people were STILL in the van!!! There was mass panic and burning hair. Inside of the van was all jacked up along with some camera equipment. I was suspended 2.5 days since I was the one that brought it on school property.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hHmHbL0UyF0. It was one of those.

For telling the "health" teacher during sex ed that the reason she knew so much about STDs was because she had them all.

Fighting back

The kid never messed with me again

In 4th grade I lost recess privileges for a week for looking at a porn mag.  I was pissed because I didn't see shit, I just happened to be walking by at the time.  It's probably the only time I was truly innocent.

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Liking guns and reading books on military history got me isolated in a room every morning before school started, interrogated for a half a day by the dean, and threatened with a mandatory visit to a shrink.


Judith McKay, I hope our paths never cross again.

I only got suspended in junior high school.

Twice for smoking.
Twice for skipping school.
Once for possession of a switchblade knife.
Once for possession of drugs.
Once for calling another kid a motherfucker really loud, while the vice principal was standing right behind me.

The vice principal and I got along great, and he always gave me suspensions that were shorter than what other kids got because I was one of the school's top students.

No, seriously, I was.

Excellent! Worth a suspension.

 

Wore a NIN tour t-shirt that in small letters on the back said "Where the Fuck were you" and then listed the tour dates and cities below. Got one day internal suspension.
Senior year about 75% of the school protested (out on the front lawn) the school district letting go a great guidance counselor who actually cared about the students. Everyone including myself got one day internal suspension.

I got spanked in Kindergarten for looking out the window during nap time. I don't really remember what happened when Dad got there to pick us up...but the teacher wasn't none to happy.

Took two juice boxes instead of one. In school suspension and wasn't allowed to come back the next year.....Should have mentioned that was my third strike and they don't take kindly to computer hacking.

i got some but they are kinda stupid...I didn't really get into much trouble since I was so into WoW/gaming in general I cared less about my real life

1 was for fighting back...I got my ass kicked but threw some good punches...which had no effect on the guy holy shit is his head made out of cast iron?
The thing is HE , the perp didn't get suspended...it was 1 of those fuckin infamous football players who is in a club n shit, etc. O well, stayed home and grinded wow stuffs. And they still kept messing with me for the rest of the year and the next year. Its like, grow the fuck up, do you not have anything else to do??

Another time was "possession of a weapon". Ok. School desks have like a small metal piece you can break off, its usually broken anyway and serves no function(it has a function actually to support, but people are so obese what these desks break and this "support piece" snaps)

At that time I was so into WoW, I had a rogue and everything. It turned out a cool "dagger", I used a metal grinder to fashion it a sharp blade and a stab point..put some black electrical tape on the "handle"...thing was pretty cool, at least for a 13-14 yo kid. Funny thing is, I got suspended but the school didn't even take away my "dangerous metal piece". I turned it into a fine blade..huzzah! Oh well, as far as I remember I think I helped mother was the car and vacuum clean it that day

I NEVER intended to stab/hurt/puncture anyone, all I wanted was a metal toy to play with...this is why growing up in suburbs sucks, there wasn't really much to play around with besides video games/toys/etc....add to the fact there were no people my age, only many years younger or older... I had people call cops on me for carrying around an airsoft rifle with an orange tip -___-.

this is the piece of the desk I mean

took my geometry teachers grade book after he swiped my issue of Soldier of Fortune. I offered a fair trade, the principal didn't see it that way. That was worth 3 days and I was banned from that cocksuckers class. That hippy commie fuckstick still has an ass whipping waiting for him, and that was 1989, I can hold a grudge for a bit.  The arguments that took place between us in the hallways should have gotten me kicked out of my H.S. I called him a mother fucker on more than one occasion and told him I had a ass kicking waiting for him outside, he just had to man up and come get it. Honest to God, I don't know why I didn't get expelled

Weed In my car. and if I knew then what I knew today that search was illegal as fuck as I parked "off campus" to avoid their bs parking pass fees as did many others and the school knew that so they had the resource officer run the dog through that parking lot around as well as through everyone's vehicles even tho a solid 80% of the people in that lot worked at the local business that the lot was attached to and had no affiliation with the school at all. I know when you parked on school grounds your vehicle was subject to random search as agreed to in the parking pass agreement  but there is nothing about people parking on private property off campus getting their shit searched.

I got 3 days out of school for missing to many days. Best thing they did for me.

Got kick out of school in 10th after losing my cool and flipping the desk of  the  principal  and may or may not have made fun of the way she shakes when she talks. She had something wrong with her.

There is so many good one I can list them for days. Wow did I hate school now that I am thinking about it.

Drawing guns. Middle school. 1998.

Also, I received three days of in-school suspension for skipping study skills several times in high school. Yeah, I had to miss three days of classes for not going to a half hour "class" where we quietly studied by ourselves.

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My step Dad was 6' 6" and 250lbs.
I did not screw up.  

Smoking in the bathroom and skipping class if I recall correctly. Oh, and writing obscenities in a girl's yearbook when I was in 4th or 5th grade.

I was wearing a Ministry: The Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Taste shirt.  Had an xray of a skull on it.  Principal told me to change shirts or turn it inside-out.  He got laughed at, I got sent home for 3 days.

No comment.

Oh.  And skipping school.  They used to suspend me for skipping.  Punishment?  Nah, hall pass to paddle out.

High school: I was 'late' to class one day. Actually had one foot in the door when the bell rang. Teacher had some stupid (unenforceable) rule requiring students to be in their seats when the bell rang.

She told me I had to go to after school suspension, I said "I don't think so." At the end of the day, I went home like normal. Was called into the office of the Vice Principal of Discipline (yes the school actually had such a position - despite being in a pretty decent neighborhood).

He asked me why I was being so difficult. I tried explained the situation to him: He didn't care. He had a hard on for me because of by brother that went before me was a prick and a thorn in his side. So he naturally assumed it ran in families. After a lot of shouting and name calling, he told me that I now had three days of after school suspension. I said OK. At the end of the day, I went home like normal.

Of course I get called into his office the following morning. He started screaming (uncontrolled rage) at me...I'm like WFT is you problem asshole? I made some comment about his inability to control his temper, satisfy his wife or maybe the fat, male janitor. And suggested he seek professional help. Well, he jumped up out of his chair started coming around the corner of the desk and raised a fist at me.

I'm not a small person (being a tackle on the football team) and had about 6 or 7 inches on him and outweighed him by 60-70 pounds (all muscle at that time - yes it all turned to fat in the succeeding years). I picked up the little metal chair I was sitting on, you know one of those old ones that weighed a ton! And convinced him (in very colorful language that I no longer remember) to reconsider his actions.

He calmed down a little, either from the realization of the severe legal problems he would be in if he won the fight, or the very reasonable fear of great bodily harm that would befall him should I win the fight. Told me I still had to serve the original suspension after school. I said OK. At the end of the day, I went home like normal.

Never heard another word about it.

He did not come back the next school year.

Ice chest full of beer in my car,yeah we were drinking it at the time,lunch time.

Of all the times I was suspended, none of them were for BS reasons.  I deserved it every time.



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